I head back home, because apparently I need to show my mother my Pokémon. Pfft, whatever.

My mother asks why I chose this Pokémon. The proper answer is that they didn't have a Charmander on offer. I suppose I should be polite though, because I can at least use it to catch some proper, strong Kanto region Pokémon. I try to think of a non-faggot answer and I can't think of anything. "It's cool?" I say hesitantly. At least I didn't say it was because it was cute. Fuck, forget I said anything. It's like I went full Kevin Robinson for a moment.

My mother, however, unironically thinks my starter is cute and cool. Oh my god that sounds so fucking lame.

Well, anyway, it's time to go to bed to recover. I hate this new body of mine, it's pathetic and weak and so frail. I used to be able to go full-speed for days when I was in the Sonic Military in my proper hedgeheg body. It does have its upsides though, I really like that I have boobys now. I mean, I'd hate to be stuck in a transgender body like Lillie, who doesn't have anything at all.

The next day, Kukui comes to collect me. We're off to some festival to celebrate Pokémon or something. Maybe I'll catch a good Kanto Pokémon or two at it, which sounds really good to me.

Kukui decides to teach me how to catch a Pokémon. To catch a Pokémon you hurt it first, and I love hurting stuff, so this will be fun. After that you throw a Pokéball at the victim and lock it away so you can train it and use it against your enemies, like Sonic the Hedgehog or Kevin Robinson from school. I also get ten Pokéballs to start with. Thanks, Professor, it turns out you're not entirely useless.

So the first Pokémon I beat up and ensnare is a superior Kanto Caterpie. It has a Timid nature, which makes sense since it's so weak and frail, but it's not a nature I'd approve of. Perhaps it will change after some rigorous training from me. At the end of its training, it evolves into a Metapod, which now does some meaty hits against the local Pokémon. Suck it, scrub mons. My Metapod is still Timid, though. I train it some more, but its nature remains unchanged. Coldsteel does not approve of this nature, Coldsteel cannot tolerate timid people or timid Pokémon.

There are a few trainers on the first route along the way. One of them claims to have a sister, who turns out to be a… caterpie? Apparently there's a lot I don't know about this world. After defeating it with Metapod, it turns out the Caterpie has been with the girl since birth. Well, that makes more sense than someone giving birth to a Caterpie and a girl. But goddamn, she fucking sucks so hard she might as well change her name to Kevin Robinson. It took me twenty minutes training my Caterpie to get a Metapod, she's a teenager and she's only got a Caterpie, her efforts have been pathetic.

I finally reach the festival, which has just started. Good timing. There's a very special surprise: I get to beat up Hau's Pokémon again. And it's not even my birthday.

Apparently the fight is meant to sate the bloodlust of Tapu Koko, the creature that rescued me from drowning and Lillie's gross negligence. Apparently this is a big deal too, since a whole bunch of people turn up to watch glorious and bloody battle. You know, if we can have a bloodlust ceremony like this, society is alright sometimes. Let's get this show started.

Hau has a new Pokémon with him called a Pichu. It doesn't have much that it can do to Metapod except Charm and Growl, but Metapod takes it out. This is the power of the first 151 Pokémon, in plain sight. Hau's next Pokémon is his starter Pokémon, and my stupid grassbird deals with the drag seal rather easily for the second time. Nuthin' personnel, kid. This is just what the strongest graduate of the Sonic Fighting Academy can do.

There's a roar over the field, it seems that Tapu Koko approves of glorious and bloody battle. I like it already.

After the battle, the Kahuna tells me that I should take care of my Pokémon. Well, I'd clean my firearms to make sure they were always in optimal condition before a fight, after all, so I should make sure my Pokémon are in tip-top battle condition too. That makes sense.

There's apparently something called an Island challenge, which I'm told I can undertake, and it turns out it's the perfect opportunity to help hunt Sonic. I'd visit a whole bunch of areas, which means new options in my arsenal of monster weapons, and makes it more likely for Sonic to find me, and I get to train my Pokémon to be better-able to take down Sonic.

It's perfect. Perfect! Mwahahahahahahaha. You can't win, Sonic. I'm coming for you.