Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or it's Characters.
Chapter Three: Stepping Stones
After Dan had left Blair worked on the last part of her piece, trying to keep in mind what he had said, but she couldn't really concentrate. Her mind kept flashing back to her and Dan's conversation, his knee brushing hers, how he looked at her, and those damn butterflies. Blair sighed heavily and flopped back on her bed frustrated for herself for even having this on her mind. Since when did Dan Humphrey occupy her mind and in this way. She would almost be disgusted with herself. When had this all started?
Blair thought back to the whole Juliette situation and Serena being in the hospital. She was so scared that the old Serena had returned but Dan was so sure she was innocent, even when Serena doubted herself. He had more faith in Serena than I did. That thought panged her heart a little. She had always tried to be there for Serena and look after her, but in her own fear she had looked past the facts, the facts Dan saw. And when she had gone to Dan for help to clear Serena's name and to apologize, he had accepted humbly and jumped on board. That's probably when it started- this whole stupid friendship. She didn't want to admit it to herself but winter break wasn't that bad either with Humphrey. Maybe if she hadn't spent time with him then they wouldn't have been hanging out these past couple weeks at school and seeing films. This was too much to take, especially since Chuck was not even a distant memory yet. Chuck. The memories started to flood of him, and she felt tears form. Suddenly there was a light tap on her bedroom door.
"Blair? Are you still up?" Serena asked softly before slowly opening her bedroom door. Blair sat up quickly and reached for a tissue off her nightstand.
"Hey S." Blair smiled. Serena could tell her best friend had been crying and rushed over next her.
"B? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. I just have moments of weakness." She tried to reassure Serena. Serena did not look convinced but still nodded.
"I know you still love him. Are you sure that this is what you want?"
Blair had finally told Serena that she and Chuck had agreed that they needed to find out who they were apart before they could be together.
"Yes it is but it doesn't make it any easier!" Blair yelled frustrated. Serena laughed at her best friend's usual sudden outburst.
"Well you are right B. If you two are meant to be together you will find your way back to one another. That's kind of what Dan and I agreed on too."
Blair couldn't help but be curious.
"What did you and Dan agree?"
Serena sighed and laid down next to Blair on her bed.
"That right now isn't our time. I mean, I just don't know what the future holds for me. I know that I love Dan, and probably always will, but that doesn't necessary mean that we are meant to be. When we last left off we said if we ever did date again that it would be the last time."
Blair was surprised that Dan hadn't asked her anything or had even brought up Serena when they had hung out. She was constantly searching Gossip Girl and inquiring about where Chuck was and what he was up to. How could she not? She missed him. Didn't Dan miss Serena?
"Well S, it looks like you and I are in the same boat." Blair sighed grabbing Serena's hand and squeezing it. Serena squeezed back.
"Seems we are B. How are you doing on that whole 'discovering who you are' thing?"
"Well I have decided to go into Fashion Editorials. I think it suits me."
Serena sat up and grinned at her best friend.
"Blair! That is perfect! You will be great at that! Telling people what to wear and what not to wear is your everyday passion!"
Blair smirked at her best friend's last statement and playfully smacked her while sitting up with her.
"Yes I do have a loud opinion when it comes to what the people I love wear, but it is for your own good S!" Blair giggled.
"Have you started writing anything? Where have you applied?" Serena asked impatiently.
Blair reached over and grabbed her laptop.
"I'm not telling anyone where I applied! I don't want to jinx it! But I'll let you read a little of what I've written."
Serena took the laptop eagerly and started to read. Blair was nervous again but kept in mind what Dan had said about trying not to take anything personally. Great thinking about Humphrey once again!
"B. This is really good!" Serena smiled looking up at her. "I love how its sounds like you. It's pure Blair Waldolf! I love how you're blunt but end with humor! Some people try to do all facts and polls, but this is so much more interesting."
Blair instantly thought about Dan's describing word "Blairish" and smiled to herself.
"You are just saying that because you're my best friend!"
"Nope. No I'm not. It's so good! Hey what are these?" Serena inquired reaching down and picking up the notes Dan had left for Blair on the end of her bed.
"Oh nothing!" Blair practically yelled jumping for them.
"Blair this looks like Dan's handwriting." Serena looked at her best friend still holding a paper that Blair hadn't got ahold of.
"Well that's because it is." Blair sighed. "I didn't want to say anything especially after what you just said about Dan, but I asked him for help. I hope that's okay. I mean besides that fact that he is highly annoying, he is a good writer."
Blair wouldn't mention the fact that Dan and she had been hanging out more, or that she enjoyed hanging out with him. Serena was silent for a minute but then looked up from the paper and laughed.
"I never thought that I would see the day when Blair Waldolf would complement or ask Dan Humphrey for help. I'm really proud of you B. Dan is a great writer and I'm glad he is helping you."
Blair felt herself exhale in relief. She was expecting maybe a little drama but she forgot how cool Serena could be sometimes.
"Thank you Serena."
Before they could say anything else there phones went off.
"Gossip Girl." They said together.
Blair opened her phone to find a picture of Chuck looking rather comfortable with a hot looking blonde.
"Wow, B. I'm sorry. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." Blair sighed. "I mean we both said that we had to find out who we were and were not together."
"I know but I can't help but feel, as your best friend, that you deserve someone who would not want anyone but you."
At Serena's words Blair felt tears sting the back of her eyes, but kept it together.
"You know how Chuck is S. I hate that he is like that but I love him and I have to except the bad and good in him."
"I understand where you're coming from, but I also know that sex is a big deal to you. And you shouldn't have to be the one in a relationship that makes all the changes. The entire reason why you broke up with Chuck in the first place is because you didn't like who you had become. He needs to understand that you need him to bend, if he expects you to bend. There has to be a balance."
"Ying and yang." Blair whispered looking down at her hands. She knew Serena was right but hated it. She wanted to believe that Chuck would do anything for her, but he was selfish. But wasn't she too?
Serena reached out and lifted Blair's face so she could make eye contact.
"Blair. I want you to find someone who completes and balances you. Maybe Chuck will be that person, or maybe he won't."
Blair nodded at those words but then couldn't stop her tears from falling.
"But if he isn't who I'm meant to be with, then why do I love him so much! Why have we been through so much! We have come so far and now…"
Blair lost herself in her sobs and Serena moved behind her to cradle her.
"Shhh…awe Blair."
"I'm sorry Serena." Blair hardly got out between sobs.
"Blair why are you apologizing?" Serena half laughed. "This is what best friends are for."
"I know but I hate being like this…so needy."
She heard Serena laugh again behind her and then squeeze Blair into a hug.
"Blair. Showing emotion is not always a weakness. You should keep that in mind."
Blair had calmed down a little, and sat up facing Serena.
"Why would Chuck and I go through everything we have gone through, if we weren't meant to be together?"
Serena hesitated before answering her best friend. She took Blair's hands and squeezed.
"I believe that everything happens for a reason. I mean I have regrets but I wouldn't take them back or change them because they have made me who I am, and I like to think wiser, although sometimes I swear I never learn." She and Blair laughed softly. "Like look at us. We have had so many up's and down's in our friendship but we always find our way back to one another. Every hardship we have overcome makes our friendship stronger."
"So you're saying that my hardships with Chuck will make us stronger?"
"Yes but not just your relationship but individually. B, you have grown so much over the last couple years and discovered more of who you are and what you're capable of. If Chuck's only purpose in your life was to show you a different side of yourself, and to bring out certain strengths in you that only he could, then he was worth loving and worth the pain."
"Because with pain comes growth right?" Blair asked softly.
"Yeah. Sadly some people are meant to help us grow and guide us to the next part of life. It's the goodbye part that sucks, plus the damn memories, but sometimes I'm greatful for those too."
"Do you think Dan was just another stepping stone for you?"
Serena looked up at Blair and struggled to hold back her own tears.
"Obviously I've done a lot of thinking about that, but honestly I don't know yet. I mean I love him but I don't know what my future holds, or if Dan will fit into it."
"That's how I feel about Chuck too."
They sat there for a while in silence, both thinking about their conversation. Blair found herself still unsure about her future with Chuck, but knew she was blessed to have Serena as a best friend and found comfort in the fact that she would always be there for her.
Thank You for reading! Reviews welcomed! :)