I was going to wait until I wrote more but I'm not sure when I'll next get a chance to post. So this is pretty short.
Cas spends Saturday and Sunday at Gabriel's while his father is out doing whatever it is he does.
Gabriel does his best to tend to Cas' wounds and keep him in good spirits. But the only thing that manages to lift the dark cloud is "You'll be out of there soon. Another six months and you're free, Cas. Just like me" but Cas can't help the niggly feeling that his father won't let him go as easy as he let Gabriel.
By Monday morning, most of Cas' wounds have healed. They're still a little tender to the touch but Cas can move without much pain.
He keeps his head down in English, focusing on his work and ignoring Samandriel's worried glances. He does the same through Biology. Nobody bothers Cas for once, not even to ask for a pencil.
Maths is a different story. Hannah, a rather nice girl who Cas talks to on occasions, continually asks if Cas is Okay and sends sympathetic glances his way throughout the class. It grates on Cas' nerves. He turns to the front to see Dean also looking at him worriedly, Cas sighs and looks down at his paper pretending to write; hoping no one will bother him. He wishes he was actually completing his work rather than doodling in the margins but he can't concentrate enough to even work out the first problem.
"You alright?" Dean crouches beside Cas' desk.
The casual tone throws Cas a bit, but concern is evident in Dean's eyes and Cas shrinks away from it.
"I'm fine" Cas speaks with a confidence he doesn't feel.
Dean's eyes flicker from Cas to the door for a moment, but Cas chooses to ignore the subtle hint. He forces himself to concentrate on his work.
He sees Dean stand from the corner of his eye and feels a hand brush along his back and gently squeeze his shoulder. Cas watches Dean retreat back down the isle stopping at a couple of student's desks, a strange sort of comfort washes over him.
When the bell rings, Cas feels disappointed in himself for not being able to complete a single question. He watches as students hand in their work and stuffs his piece of paper in his pocket, hoping that through the flow of students Dean won't notice Cas hasn't handed anything in. He quickly gathers his stuff and makes his way to the door as discreetly as possible.
"Castiel?" No such luck.
Cas turns toward Dean and slowly approaches his desk. He watches longingly as the last student leaves the classroom.
"You didn't hand in your work" Dean says softly.
Cas wishes Dean wasn't being so nice to him. He doesn't deserve it. Cas pulls the blank piece of paper from his pocket and hands it to Dean, waiting for a good scolding or a detention. Although something tells him he's not going to get either and that upsets Cas all the more.
"We went through questions 1 to 3 and 6 to 9 during your tutoring lesson..." Dean looks up at Cas questioningly.
Cas shrugs "I guess I didn't quite grasp them"
Dean doesn't believe that and Cas knows it "Is there something on your mind, Cas?" Dean asks gently.
Cas can feel the memories of Friday night resurfacing and all the poisoness feelings that come with them. He shakes his head once "No, no I'm fine" He bites his lip and starts shaking his head vigorously "I'm fine" he hears his voice break and feels tears building in his eyes.
Dean stands from his desk, making to move towards Cas and comfort him. But Cas bolts from the room.
Cas ignores Dean calling his name and keeps running. He runs out of the school building, out of the parking lot and towards the park.
He only stops to catch his breath once he's amongst tree coverage. Focusing on the burn in his muscles and lungs Cas leans against a tree, but as the burning subsides the feelings catch up to him. His chest tightens and his eyes begin to sting again, tears are flowing from his eyes before he can stop them. He slides down the tree.
Stupid, stupid. I shouldn't cry, this is my fault. It's my fault. All my fault. I brought this upon myself. So stupid. I'm so stupid...
The self-depreciating thoughts last half an hour until Cas' eyes are dry. Then Cas fixes himself up and walks home.