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Sore ga Ai, Deshou?
Chapter Three:
Time passed, Andy got better; his balance and agility improved along with his reading skills and Hanzo began working on his stamina. Fall had long since faded into Winter, the days had grown shorter, the nights longer and the weather generally colder, and the little village of Mino was now covered by a blanket of fluffy white snow.
The morning calisthenics had been replaced with cardiovascular; Hanzo-sensei would drag everyone in the household out into the frigid morning air before dawn and make them run laps around town. Mino was a relatively small village and after a few weeks of this Andy became familiar with the town's early risers. They would wave as the party passed, sometimes offering a polite greeting to Hanzo or commenting on how tall Mai-chan was getting.
Andy found it a bit strange that no one ever seemed to greet Kazutaka with as much open friendliness as they did his father. The boy was curious to know why, but he reminded himself that that wasn't why he was here. His purpose in coming to Niigata was to learn the skills he'd need to kill Geese Howard, getting overly involved with the Shiranui family would hinder that goal. Kazu, for his part seemed not to care and if he didn't care then it wasn't important.
School had been released for the New Years, much to Andy's great relief. The children of Mino Public Elementary School had finally gotten it into their heads that the strange new hakujin who never talked to anyone and always sat alone at lunch wasn't going anywhere. And so they had begun to, in lieu of taunting, to treat Andy with a sort of polite neglect. He didn't bother any of them and so none of them felt the need or even the desire to bother him. All the same, the blond ninja-in-training was more that happy for the break from school.
He waltzed into the kitchen one day after yet another rigorous session with Hanzo-sensei to find Kazutaka mixing ground chestnuts in with mashed sweet potatoes. Andy knew that Mai's dad was, for a intents and purposes, the "mom" of the family, that he did most of the cleaning and prepared all their meals but he'd never actually seen him doing it before.
"What're you making?"
"Osechi-ryori." Kazu replied matter-of-factly then looked up. "You're not allergic to nuts, are you?"
"No." Andy shook his head at the seemingly random question.
"Good."
The boy walked over the to refrigerator and pulled out a cherry flavored soda. "What's for lunch?" He asked, popping the bottle's top off.
"Free rain today." Kazu responded as he put the finishing touches on the mashed sweet potato and moved over to the stove where a pot was simmering with who knew what in it.
"What's all this for?" He indicted everything that Kazu was making which looked like the beginnings of a small feast.
"This is for New Years." He said in a slightly subdued tone, as if the New Year's celebration were something unpleasant for him.
Andy just shrugged and went back into the fridge for something more substantial than a soda. He pulled out some of the left over natto and rice from breakfast. He was just about to enter the dinning room and eat when Mai came bouncing into the kitchen, almost knocking into him in the doorway.
"Watch where you're going." She scolded.
"You bumped into me." He shot back.
"Ah, kurikinton!" She exclaimed happily, looking over his shoulder and ignoring his statement entirely. She pushed past him and slunk up to the bowl of mashed sweet potato and chestnuts that Kazu had left out on the counter covered by a paper towel.
"Don't even think about it, little missy." Kazu warned, his back still turned. Mai froze in mid slink. "Why don't you go and eat with Andy-kun? I'm sure he'll enjoy the company and you two can talk or kill each other in the dinning room away from burning stoves or boiling liquids."
Andy swallowed the protest that rose in the back of this throat. He did not enjoy Mai's company one bit, he only tolerated her because she was his master's granddaughter and he had no other choice. He had been quite successful in avoiding her here at the dojo for the past few months, why did Kazutaka have to go and mess that up?
"But, 'Touchan…" The girl protested.
"Out. Now." He ordered in that tone of authority adults used that left no room for argument.
The two sat at the dining room table, Mai folding her legs under her daintily, Andy sitting cross-legged. He divided the rice and natto between the two of them, saying nothing, hoping she would take the hint that he didn't want to socialize with her here at home just as much as she didn't want to associate with him in school.
"'Touchan always gets snappy around New Years." The girl muttered. Apparently, Andy's hint was just a little to subtle for her. "Neh, Andy-kun, what did your family do on new years?"
Andy bit back the immediate retort of "Which family?" He had had quite a few in the System, but he knew that she was most likely referring to Jeff, his real family. His mind conjured the memory of only New Years he'd had while in Jeff's care. It wasn't a whole scene, just images really. Sparkling gold bubbles rising to the top of a Martinellie's cider, he and Terry begging to be aloud to stay up until midnight, Jeff and his lady friend whispering and laughing together in a corner, Master Tung singing some Mandarin folk song neither he nor Terry understood and he and Terry falling asleep before eleven.
"We'd have a party." He finally gave his clip of an answer.
"What kind of party?" She pressed. "Was it fun? Well, of course it was. Ojisama, 'Touchan and I have a small little party here but its just the three of us and not very fun, then 'Touchan takes me to visit my Okasama's grave and that's not very fun either but after that I get an otoshidama so its not so bad." She finished happily.
Andy didn't quite know what to say to all that so he just took another bite of natto as an excuse to keep from talking.
"Neh, Andy-kun?" She said again. "What was your dad like? Did he love your mom allot? 'Touchan loved my Okasama allot, that's why he doesn't like to fight like you and Ojisama. She was a pacifist."
"If he doesn't like to fight then why does he train you?" he knew that he really shouldn't be giving in to her bait but this was the first time he'd ever heard Mai talk about something that wasn't trivial like the length of her skirt or gossip at school.
"Because its something we can do together." She answered.
Andy thought about that a moment. Jeff had taught he and Terry martial arts as an outlet for their aggression and anger, to give then a way to vent their frustrations with the world that had treated them so unfairly. Looking back, he supposed that Jeff could have just as easily let Tung train them but he had chosen to do it himself, to spend time with them. That was one thing none of his foster parents ever did, just spend time with him for the sake of being together.
"So, did your dad love your mom?" She pressed, determined to not let him finish his meal in peace.
"I don't have a mom." He told her. "I don't have any parents."
"Huh?" She gapped in confusion. "Then who are you training to avenge?"
"Jeff Bogard was my dad but he wasn't my father. He adopted my brother and me but he's not our real father. I don't know who my real parents are, I never knew them." He said this so matter-of-factly, he was quite proud of himself for being able to detach from it so completely. He was getting better.
'Don't get attached, don't get hurt.'
"Andy-kun…" Her eyes watered.
'Great, now I've made her cry.' He thought upon seeing her hazel eyes glisten with unshed tears, tears that had no business being there in the first place. He watched in confusion as she stood and walked around the table then gasped in shock when she dropped back down to her knees and wrapped her arms around him in what was supposed to be a comforting hug.
"I'm sorry, Andy-kun." She muttered into his hair. "That must have been awful for you. I don't know what I'd do if I never knew 'Touchan."
'You wouldn't care because you would have never known him.' But he didn't say that out loud.
"Was Jeff-san a good dad?" She asked, still holding him. Andy wished she would let go. He only liked being hugged when he already wanted to be hugged, the rest of the time it just felt awkward, uncomfortable and wrong. Where was this hug of hers a few months ago, just after Kanji practice on the polls when all he wanted was to be hugged like Jeff used to? He would have been happy to be hugged then, not now, now he wanted his space.
"The best!" The boy said as he tried to push her away. To his chagrin she only tightened her hold on him. "Let me go."
"You need a hug." She protested.
"You've given me one. Now get off." He tried again to push her away, this time using a more force than the first time. Mai stumbled backwards and tumbled to the floor.
"Itai." She grumbled, running a hand over her shoulder where she had landed. "You don't have to push so hard, ya know. I was gonna let go."
"G-gomen na sai." He stammered out quickly. Jeff had always told him not to hit girls, that real men didn't use force against the distaff gender, that to do such was despicable. What would Jeff think of him now? An image of Jeffry Bogard looking sad and disappointed at him was conjured in him mind. Could Jeff see him right now? Was he watching from wherever good people went after they died? What would he say?
"Andy-kun, are you okay?" Mai waved a hand in front of his eyes. "You're so weird. You push me but some how you're the one who looks like they just got kicked in the stomach."
"Sumimasen." He stood and left, he needed to get away from her, needed to be alone with his thoughts.
"What a weird kid." She muttered after he had left.
…
Mai didn't see Andy for almost the entire rest of the day. He had barricaded himself in his room after lunch and hadn't set a foot outside since. Was he really so upset about being hugged? That was the only thing Mai could think of. He couldn't possibly be feeling bad about pushing her; he was training to become a ninja for crying out loud. What did he think ninja did? Serve tea and rice cakes all day?
No, he had to be upset over her touching him and that was something that struck Mai as just plain odd. Hugs were great, especially when you were feeling sad like he seemed to be almost all the time since he first came here. She knew his dad had just died before he came to live with them and he had every right to be sad, but to not accept comfort… that was just wrong.
But then again maybe he just didn't want to be hugged by her. He did spend allot of his time at home avoiding her like the plague. Maybe he just didn't like her. But that didn't make since either because during his first week of school he had clung to her like toddler clings to their blanky.
Mai huffed in annoyance. Boys were not supposed to be this hard to understand. Boys were supposed to like bugs and slime and violence with explosions and loud noises and boobies. They were not supposed to sit quietly by themselves, never talk to anyone and spend all their time training. And they were especially not supposed to dislike hugs.
"Mai-chan!" 'Touchan called to her from the kitchen. "Would you go tell Andy-chan that dinner's ready."
"Hai!" She called back. She pushed her thoughts aside for the moment and skipped off to the blond ninja-in-training's room. She knocked twice before calling "Ojama shimasu!" and entering without waiting for his response.
He was sitting on his futon, on top of the sheets, in lotus position. His breathing seemed shallow and even and he gave no sign that he was aware of her presence.
'Meditating.' She thought, crouching in front of him. "What a weird kid." She said aloud.
…
Andy was vaguely aware of a faint knocking sound on the peripheral edge of his consciousness. It was odd how when you were meditating everything that happened around you felt and sounded like it was reaching you over a great distance. Hanzo-sensei said that when he reached the deepest state of Zen trance he wouldn't notice the outside world at all and would be able to tap the deepest levels of his ki. It seemed Andy still needed more training before he could reach that level of meditation.
'Ojama shimasu…'
He only vaguely heard the words as he began to rise back out of his meditations. Andy opened his eyes and nearly fell backwards in shock at seeing Mai crouched in front of him, almost nose to nose with him.
"M-Mai-chan!" He exclaimed. "What are you doing here?" 'Have you ever heard of personal-space!?'
"'Touchan says dinner's ready." She said in that obnoxiously happy tone that she almost always seemed to use. "This is your first New Years with us, I'm so exited. I finally have someone I can play fukuwarai and sugoroku with!"
She scampered off happily.
Andy gapped at her retreating back. He had just hurt her a few hours ago, shouldn't she be angry? Instead she was happy that he might play a few New Years games with her. What a weird girl.
Still, he had been summoned for dinner and so followed the bouncy, if a little ditzy, girl to the dinning room. Hanzo-sensei and Kazutaka sat at the dinning table with a card game spread out in front of them, the food was laid out on the table party style for you to nibble at through out the night. Mai skipped over to sit at the table, her legs folded under her politely.
"What's the next last card?" She asked happily then turned to him and said, "Andy-kun, come play with us!"
Obediently, Andy sat at the table and examined the cards spread out in front of him, the spread looked similar to the iroha-garuta card game that he would sometimes see other kids in school playing. The player would shuffle two decks of cards and lay on deck out on the desk face up, this one was called the "torifuda" or "grabbing cards". The second deck, know as the "yomifuda" ("reading cards"), was drawn from and read aloud. The players then had to grab the corresponding torifuda and the player that had collected the most cards by the game's end was the winner.
But at school Andy had only ever seen the kids play with cards marked by simple kana characters (either Hiragana or Katakana) and proverbs. The cards spread out on the dinning table now looked far to complicate for him.
"I think I'll just watch." He said.
Mai gave another one of those pouts that would have been very cute had Andy been of the age when men appreciated pouty looks from girls. "You're no fun."
"Don't pester the boy, kitten." Hanzo-sensei chided as he drew a card from the deck of yomifuda. He read what sounded like the first three lines of a tanka poem before Mai and Kazutaka pounced on the torifuda that were spread out before them in search of the card with the final two lines.
Mai snatched up a card with delicate calligraphy and cherry blossoms painted in the margins. "Ha!" She said and presented the card to her grandfather for inspection.
"Yep." The old master confirmed. "This round goes to Mai-chan. You're getting slow, Kazu."
Kazutaka grumbled something indignant that reminded Andy of when Master Tung would scold Jeff about something or another. In some ways these two men were allot like them and it made Andy just a little heartsick to be so reminded of his father and know that he would never see him again.
He buried his still tender grief with anger; it was all Geese Howard's fault. He would kill the man that had killed his father; he would bring him to justice. That was the whole reason he'd come here. Of course Hanzo and Kazutaka reminded him of Tung Fu Rue and Jeff, they were after all men of action whom had devoted their lives to martial arts.
Hanzo passed Mai's card back to her along with the yomifuda deck and the girl read the top card aloud. "Shirogane mo, kogane mo tama mo, nanisen ni…"
Kazutaka and Hanzo reached for the same card at the same time, both slapping their hands down on it hard, making the dishes rattle.
"Ha! Your powers are weak, old man." Kazu teased. His hand lay on the card with his fathers covering it. Kazu had gotten to the card first. "Now who's the slow one?" He took the card and added it to his pile. He seemed much more jovial than he had earlier today at lunchtime.
Andy watch them play a few more rounds, occasionally poking at the food but generally trying to stay out of everyone's way. The three of them all seemed so happy together, it reminded him of when he and Terry were living with Jeff and Tung and he found himself thinking that maybe this wouldn't be such a bad place to live. Maybe after he had avenged his father's death he could come back and… he cut that train of thought off right then and there.
No.
No, he would not get attached to this place or this family. After ten years had passed and he had learned all he could learn, trained all he could train and mastered all that he needed to master he would leave. He would return to America, he would kill Geese and he would never look back. He would not allow himself to grow to love this place or these people, especially not when he already knew that he was going to be leaving them.
'Don't get attached, don't get hurt.'
This place and these people were just stepping stones, nothing more.
…
At half an hour to midnight Hanzo-sensei asked Andy if he wanted to accompany him on Hatsumode, or the first trip to a shrine or temple of the New Year. After asking, however, he did that sneaky thing adults did when they're not really giving a kid a choice but want to make them think they are by adding that he was to young to stay at the dojo alone. With no other option available to him, Andy agreed and ten minuets later was struggling to put on a child size kimono that Hanzo had told him to wear.
It was just a robe; the act of putting on a robe should have been easy, it was the sash that made it difficult. Andy knew how to tie knots but every time he did, the wide material of the sash became bunched or curled in on itself letting the top of the robe fall open and expose his chest. Finally, Kazutaka had to come and help him.
"You'll learn." Kazu assured him when they were done, giving the boy a reassuring pat on the shoulder.
Andy just grumbled non-committaly.
They parted ways at the foot of the stairs, Mai following her father and Hanzo taking Andy. He was about to ask why Kazu and Mai weren't coming with them when he remembered that she had mentioned something about visiting her mother's grave and he felt suddenly envious. Jeff's grave was all the way on the other side of the world; Andy wouldn't be able to visit his father's grave for the next ten years.
Hanzo took him to a small temple not far from the Shiranui dojo. There were lots of other people there all cheerful and happy. The greeted each other and wished one another a happy New Year and asked what everyone's plane were for the first day of the New Year.
Almost everyone greeted Hanzo-sensei, inquiring after Mai-chan and wishing her a happy birthday (which Andy was surprised to learn was January first). Andy had long since noticed that his master was a prominent figure in the community, though he couldn't imagine how. The man never seemed to leave the dojo accept on the morning jogs he made them all take.
After bowing and nodding to several well-wishers, Hanzo was finally able to steer them inside the temple proper. It was much quieter inside with nothing but a low thrumming sound that made little sound but seemed to make Andy's ribs vibrate. The air was sweet with inscents and that combined with the thrumming made him lightheaded.
The two knelt before a statue of the Enlightened One and Hanzo-sensei lit an inscent of his own, adding to the already pungent air. He bent his head low and brought his hands together in the posture of prayer.
Andy didn't quite know if he was supposed to do the same or not. He'd never really gotten the appeal of praying. He'd seen people do it, had been required to do it with one of his foster families. The mother of the family he'd been staying with at the time insisted that they all attend Mass every Sunday and so Andy went.
There he learned that all human beings were inherently evil and that the only way to be saved from eternal damnation was to repent, a process that included but was not limited to praying long hours every day, doing random acts of kindness, following the teaching of that book the Father always read from and giving mass sums of money to the Church (that last one hadn't made much sense to Andy).
He didn't know if Buddhism was any different but he didn't want to appear disrespectful and so he too bowed his head and brought his hands together. Even if he didn't follow the teachings he could at least mimic the motions.
He thought about Master Tung and how he sometimes would kneel before a similar statue and chant in a language Andy couldn't understand. Terry had asked Jeff about it one day and why he didn't do the same or why neither of them made he and Andy do it, all the foster parents they'd ever had had tried to integrate them into whatever belief structure they belonged to.
Andy remembered Jeff had smiled and knelt down to look at them face to face and asked if they actually believed in any of the religions their foster parents had ever introduced them to. They had both shaken their heads in a "no". Jeff just smiled again and stood saying, "Then there's no point in me trying. You two are perfectly capable of thinking for yourselves and don't need to tell you what to believe."
Andy didn't know if he actually believed that there was a Heaven or a Nirvana but if there was he hoped Jeff had gone to one of them. He'd never met an adult that deserved it more and he silently told the Enlightened One as much.
…
Mai knelt before her mother's grave. 'Touchan lit inscents on either side of the headstone and spread flowers over the grave itself, yuki yanagi, the snow willow; 'Touchan said that they had been her mother's favorite flower, they were her favorite too.
'Ohisashiburi desu ne, Okasama.' She thought silently. 'I'm doing well. I turned nine tonight, but you already knew that. 'Touchan still misses you allot but I guess you knew that too. Ojisama still has to fight with the family about him sometimes…
'Speaking of Ojisama, he's taken on an apprentice, a hakujin from America. His name's Andy and he's my age! He's kinda weird because he's always so serious and he doesn't like to play with 'Touchan and I and he doesn't like hugs! What kind of person doesn't like hugs?
'Maybe its just me he doesn't like. When he first started going to my school he would hang around me and my friends allot and then Eri-chan and Yukari-chan started making fun of me so I told him to go away. I think I hurt his feelings. He doesn't show it allot but I think he's really sad allot of the time.
'When he first came to live with us 'Touchan said that his Otousama had just died but just today he told me that he never had any parents. I think he doesn't like to admit that he needs people. I should have been nicer to him at school, he needed me.'
Mai's thoughts were silent, waiting for an answer of some sort from her mother, some gem of maternal wisdom that would suddenly explain everything. But none came, the grave, the cemetery and the night air was still. Mai sighed, of course there wouldn't be a response, the dead could not talk back to us no matter how much we spoke to them.
"Neh, 'Touchan…" She finally said aloud.
"Yes, Mai-chan?" He asked no moving or twitching from his posture of prayer.
"What does it mean when a person doesn't like to be hugged?"
"It means they weren't hugged enough when they were a kid."
"Oh." Mai was silent a moment longer, then "What if they still are a kid?"
"Then they need to be hugged more while they're still young." He answered, not bothering to ask what brought on this odd curiosity.
"Oh. Okay then." She turned her focus back to her mother's grave. 'I'm gonna try my best!' She promised.
"He's very grown-up for his age. A little too much, I think." Kazutaka said suddenly.
"Who?"
"Andy-chan." Kazu answered matter-of-factly. "He's very grown-up for a nine year old. It makes me wonder about his life before Jeff-san. Children shouldn't be able to understand adult concepts like murder or revenge."
"I understand them!" She argued.
"No, kitten, you understand what the words mean, you don't know what they are."
Mai thought about that for a moment.
"Don't strain yourself, kitten."
"'Touchan, you're mean." She said as she took a playful swing at her father.
"Ack! Not in front of your mother, she'll kill me if she sees that I've let you grow up to be violent."
Mai stopped.
"C'mon, kitten, it's getting early. I'm sure Chichi-ue and Andy-chan have finished at the temple by now. We should head home and you should start thinkin' of what you want for your birthday breakfast."
"Rice cake soup!" She said happily.
"Anything else? Anything to go with the soup?"
"Onigiri covered in sweet red bean paste!"
"Any vegetables?"
"No." She shook her head.
"Of course not…" Kazu groaned.
…
They all climbed up on the roof to watch Hatsuhinode, the first sunrise of the New Year. Mai scooted up close to Andy just as the sun was crowning the peaks of the Higashiyama Mountains. Andy scooted back away from her, Mai scooted close to him again, he scooted away again.
"Would you stop." Mai whispered, not wanting to disturb her father or grandfather.
"You stop." Andy hissed back. "You started it."
"I wanna talk."
"About what?"
"There's space at my table at lunch." She said.
"So?"
"You can sit with us if you want to."
"I thought you didn't want me giving you my 'boy-cooties' in front of your friends."
"A girl can't change her mind?"
"Would you two stop!" Hanzo-sensei turned toward the pair. "Stop wispering like a pair of conspirators and stop crawling all over my roof. One of you is gonna fall and I'm gonna half to clean it up."
"Sumimasen, Sensei."
"Gomen ne, Ojisama."
"Hm." He nodded and turned his attention back to the now almost completely risen sun.
"By the way, Mai." Andy whispered more softly so that Hanzo-sensei wouldn't hear this time. "Happy birthday. I heard that today was your birthday."
She smiled at him. "Thank you." And she leaned over and gave him a short hug, letting go almost immediately when his muscles tensed at her touch.
They sat in silence after that and watch the rest of the sunrise.
"Now, then, Mai-chan," Kazutaka said after the sun was completely up. "How about those vegetables."
Mai grumbled, Hanzo laughed and Andy smiled awkwardly. They all climbed down from the roof and filed on into the house where they shared a breakfast to celebrate Mai's ninth birthday and then went to sleep.
Thus, Andy's first New Years with the Shiranui family was passed.
… …