Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters.
Chapter 24: The Truth Hurts
Blair couldn't stop her tears. He throat was raw, her chest was sore, and saw no ending to her sobs. She had cried herself to sleep twice so far only to start again once she woke up and the memories came flooding back. Dorota had tried to bring her tea and some food, all which had been thrown against her door in anger. She didn't want to eat or drink. All she could do was replay the look on Dan's face.
New tears streamed her face at the image, but what hurt even more was that he didn't come after her. He didn't tell her she was wrong and beg her to stay. That alone was enough to confirm to Blair that Dan had doubts, and that he didn't see her marrying him, or having his children. Doesn't he know what a break through that was for me, Blair thought?
Before Dan, Blair didn't even want kids—hell she didn't even know if she wanted to get married, but with him everything changed. Her heart changed. She was starting to see them owning their own apartment, his ring on her finger, and her belly growing with their baby. She was far off from admitting it, but even having those thoughts and desires created a new humility in her that was exposed even before she could talk to Dan about it—all in thanks to that bitch Georgina!
Sure she might have freaked out and she could have told Dan what was really bothering her, but what was she supposed to say? Dan I don't want you to raise Georgina's baby, I want to raise our baby with you! In front of everyone! What was the point? Dan made it clear by his hesitation that he doubted her, and that hurt more than anything else.
She grabbed her phone again looking desperately to see if Dan had text or called, but he hadn't.
Once again she lost herself in her tears.
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"Dan?" Serena's voice came through the door.
Dan didn't answer. He heard Ben mumble something to Serena.
"Just give us a couple minutes." Dan heard Serena whisper to Ben.
Gently Dan's bedroom door opened, and he looked up to see Serena looking over at him. She slipped in quietly and shut his bedroom door. She paused for a moment wondering how to approach him.
"What do you want Serena?"
Instead of answering him she walked over and sat next to him on the bed.
"You have to go after her Dan." She whispered looking at her hands in her lap.
"What good will that do? You saw how angry she was Serena. She probably even has Dorota guarding her." Dan sighed.
"Is it really because you think she would have Dorota kick you out, or is it because you know she is right?"
Dan looked at Serena and sighed heavily, rubbing his hands over his face in frustration.
"I really don't think you're the person I should be talking to about this." Dan said.
"Actually I think I am the only person you can talk to about this. Dan I know you and I know Blair. Yeah, it was hard for me in the beginning to see you two together, and it still is at times, but deep down in my heart I know you're good for the other. Now, which one is it Dan? Angry or you know she's right?"
Dan studied her for a moment
"Both." He whispered.
"You want to sign for Milo?" Serena asked.
"A part of me does, yes, but the other part of me doesn't. I'm just so confused."
"Dan…" Serena started.
"Do you know what I pictured when Georgina said she wanted me? I pictured rescuing Milo from Georgina and all her drama. All I can think about when I'm with him is how messed up he could turn out."
"Dan. You have a huge heart. That is one of the things I love about you, but you have to be careful that in the process of using that huge heart of yours, that you don't hurt or break the heart of the only person that truly matters to you."
Dan took in all of Serena's words and felt the truth of them hit his heart. Sure he wanted to protect Milo, but Blair meant more to him. Blair was his future, not Milo.
"I really screwed up."
"You can still fix it." Serena smiled. "I know Blair loves you."
Dan turned and hugged Serena in thanks before jumping off his bed and grabbing his wallet. He paused at the door.
"Thank you Serena." He smiled.
"Get going!" She laughed and watched as Dan grab his jacket and fly out of the front door.
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The cab was expensive but worth it. Dan felt like it was the longest car ride of his life He pulled out his phone and sent Blair a text.
Blair I'm so sorry! Please forgive me! Coming now to talk.
He kept thinking of what he would say, how he would say it. He kept praying that Blair would take him back, that she would understand. She had been hurt so much already by Chuck that he hated to think of himself putting her back in that place.
The cab pulled up in front of Blair's building and Dan paid the cabbie quickly and jumped out, making his way toward the entrance. But before he could open the front door, the door man stopped him.
"Excuse me sure, but I have specific instructions that you are not to enter this building until further notice."
Dan looked at the door man in shock.
"Excuse me?" Dan gasped.
"I'm sorry sure, but I have my instructions."
Dan tried to get by him, but the door man stepped in his way again.
"Please you don't understand…"
"I will contact the police young man." The door man warned.
"Fancy seeing you here Humphrey." Came Chuck's voice behind Dan. Dan spun around to see Chuck walking over from his limo.
"What are you doing here Bass?" Dan demanded.
"Blair called me. She's pretty upset. Way to go Humphrey. Didn't take you for a heart breaker." Chuck smirked. Dan lunged but was pulled back by the door man.
"Miss Blair is expecting you sir." The door man hinted, nodding for Chuck to enter the building. Chuck looked Dan up and down, before complying and walking into the building. Once Chuck was inside Dan was released.
Dan felt sick as he watched from the outside, Chuck enter the elevator and wave goodbye as the doors closed.
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As soon as Dan had left, the door man walked inside and pushed the elevator button. They opened to a waiting Chuck.
"Did you do as I asked?" Chuck asked.
"Yes Mr. Bass." The door man answered handing Chuck Dan's cell phone
"Nicely done." Chuck grinned handing him cash in exchange.
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"Go away Dorota! I'm not hungry!" Blair yelled at the sudden knock on her door.
"Blair it's me." Chuck's voice came through the door.
Blair's chest tightened in panic.
"Who the hell let you in? You're not welcomed here Chuck! Go away!"
As per usual, Chuck ignored Blair's request and opened her door slowly, and stepped around the broken glass in front of the door. She flipped onto her side away from him and pulled the covers over her head. She heard him walk closer to the bed, and then felt his weight on the mattress behind her as he sat down. What she didn't see was Chuck taking her phone off her night table and tucking it into his jacket pocket, next to Dan's.
"Blair." He said soothingly.
"Go away Chuck! Dan's coming to talk!" She warned again, but gulped nervously as she felt his hand pulling at the covers above her head.
"I saw Dan downstairs, but he left suddenly when he got a call from Serena. You know him, always running when she calls. I think it had something to do with Ben and Juliet. Once again Blair, Dan fails to put you first."
Chuck's words stung Blair's heart and she felt a fresh wave of tears sting the back of her eyes.
"You're lying! Where's my phone?" Blair sat up.
"Go ahead call him but it will just hurt more when you actually hear it from him."
Blair froze at Chuck's words and she shrank back into her pillows.
"Just leave me alone Chuck." She whispered.
"Blair. Talk to me. You know you can always talk to me."
Blair let him move the covers down over her head, but kept her back to him.
"How did you know I was upset?" She asked.
"Gossip Girl. She sent out a blast of you leaving Humphrey's apartment. You looked so upset."
Another tear glided down her cheek in humiliation.
"Of course. Thanks for reminding me Bass!" She sobbed.
Chuck bravely moved closer onto the bed and pulled her around into his arms, and was even more shocked that she let him. Encouraged by her lack of rejection, Chuck reached up and brushed her hair out her face, and wiped the tear off her cheek.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Chuck asked quietly.
She frowned at his question.
"Since when do you ever want to talk Bass?"
"You know I'll always be here for you, no matter what we have been through. You're my Blair."
Blair felt a familiar tug at her heart at his words, and the panic flooded through her. She sat up abruptly and moved away from him. He sensed her discomfort and kept his distance.
"Is this about Georgina and baby Milo?" He asked slyly prying.
"How did you…?" Blair stared.
"Let's just say I keep an eye on you."
Blair glared at him.
"You mean you've been keeping an eye on Dan and me. You need to mind your own business Chuck."
"You are my business."
"Not anymore! You need to let me go!"
"Like Humphrey did today?" Chuck braved.
Blair's anger flare and she picked up a book and threw it at him, which he easily deflected.
"Get out!"
"No."
Blair moved off the bed and made towards the door, but Chuck beat her to it slamming it shut, closing off her exit.
"Get out of my way Chuck!"
"When are you going to realized that you don't fit into Dan Humphrey's world?" Chuck glared. "What did you think Blair? That you and Dan would get married? Have kids? Grow old together?"
Blair felt a stab at every word. Chuck was exposing her and she hated it.
"Chuck…" She managed to speak weakly before he crossed the distance between them grasping her shoulders.
Blair could feel her will slipping and she knew Chuck could see it.
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Dan returned to the loft angry and pissed. He had looked everywhere for his phone but had finally accepted the fact that he must have left it in the cab! He was truly cursed! He needed to talk to Blair—he needed her to let him in the building! Why had she called Chuck? That hurt him more than anything.
"Dan?" Serena looked up surprised from the couch with Ben. "Your back. Where's Blair?"
"She told the door man not to let me in." Dan answered.
"What? I'm calling him!" Serena glared grabbing her phone.
"Can you just contact Blair? Serena she called Chuck. We almost got into a fight outside of the building."
Serena looked at Dan shocked.
"I can't believe it! Why would she call Chuck?"
"I really hurt her Serena. I…" Dan sat down at the kitchen counter and buried his face in his hands. Tears flooded Dan's eyes at the thought of losing Blair. He felt like a part of him was dying.
"I'm calling her right now Dan." Serena assured Dan softly. She nodded at Ben to go to Dan, and he hesitantly stood up and walked over, asking Dan if he could get him anything.
Blair's phone rang and rang, always going to voice mail. Serena tried her 5 times, leaving 2 messages.
"She isn't picking up is she?" Dan asked Serena.
"It's all going to work out." Serena smiled, trying to reassure him.
"Has anyone seen my phone?" Georgina asked walking out of her room with Milo.
"No." Serena answered.
"What's going on?" Georgina asked seeing Dan.
"None of your business G." Serena sighed annoyed.
"Is it Blair? Is she coming back?" Georgina asked more to Dan. He turned and looked at her.
"No. She doesn't want to see me, but she wanted to see Chuck." Dan said between gritted teeth.
"Figures. Those two always wind up finding each other again." Georgina scoffed.
Dan sat up abruptly and brushed past Serena, Ben, and Georgina, slamming his bedroom door.
"What did I say?" Georgina asked innocently.
"Just shut up Georgina!" Serena glared.
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Dan looked around at the damage of his room, but didn't care. He had never been so angry before that he had actually physically destroyed anything, especially his room.
He hated the truth in Georgina's words. He had tried to make himself believe for the past couple months that Blair was over Chuck, but obviously she wasn't. Here they had just had their first throw down/drop out fight and she had already called Chuck to her rescue within hours. Maybe that was why Dan still had slight doubts about their future, because a part of him feared that part of her was still connected to Chuck.
Sure he was connected to Serena, but it wasn't the same. He and Serena didn't have the same kind of dangerous and intense connection that Blair and Chuck had. At the end of the day, Dan had always gotten through by knowing that he and Blair had their own connection, one that could outlasts Chuck's, but maybe he was wrong.
When he and Serena had parted ways, he had felt sad and angry, but nothing like this. Dan felt like a part of him had died. That had to mean something didn't it?
Whether Dan liked it or not, Milo and Georgina showing up changed everything, and he hated it.
Dan flopped around in the bed again, frustrated with his thoughts.
Suddenly there was a knock at his door.
"Dan? Ben and I have to leave to go to the bank and then to the meeting with Dimitri." Serena spoke through his door. Dan didn't answer.
"Okay well will be back as soon as we can." Serena tried again.
He still didn't answer and soon enough he heard Serena walk away from the door, and soon after that the loft door open and close in their departure.
Dan didn't know how long he laid there again until there was another knock at his door.
"Dan?" Georgina asked hesitantly. A flash of anger swept through Dan.
"Go away Georgina." Dan warned, not even recognizing his own raspy voice.
Georgina ignored his warnings and opened the door slowly peering in.
"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said what I said."
"Why? It's true isn't it? Go away." Dan glared.
"I know your angry and normally I would give you time, but I have to leave soon and I just really wanted to know if you were going to sign the papers for Milo." Georgina asked quietly.
Dan looked at her for a moment thinking, and then shook his head.
"No." He answered.
Georgina's eyes widened.
"What do you mean no?" She asked dumbfounded. "You love Milo."
"True, but that love started when I thought he was my son, and I stupidly let you back into the loft and use those feelings for him to manipulate everything."
"Don't blame you and Blair's problems on me and Milo! The reason Blair flipped out the way she did is because I exposed the truth! Do you even know if she wants kids Dan? What kind of mother would she be? You and she have different values! I know you have thought about his! I know you have doubts!"
"Shut up Georgina!" Dan yelled, making her jump and even surprising himself at his anger.
"No Dan! You know I'm right! And the only reason you won't sign those papers is because of Blair!"
Dan flew off the bed and backed a nervous Georgina against his bedroom door.
"I won't sign those papers because I refuse to let you have any hold over any part of my life again. It's true, I do care for Milo, but I love Blair more. You're not going to use Milo to manipulate me anymore."
Dan backed away and sat on his bed again, while Georgina watched silently in shock.
"You're hurting right now, so I will leave the papers on the coffee table, and hope that you will come to your senses." Georgina finally spoke softly.
"I'm not even entertaining the idea of signing those papers." Dan answered coldly.
"Milo and I will be staying at the hotel a couple blocks down the street."
And with that Georgina quickly and quietly left Dan alone in his room.
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Blair tried to pull out of Chuck's grasp, but it was too strong. He hands held her steady as he spoke directly to her.
"You and I are different. We're not meant to live an average life! We're meant for so much more! You have to see that? You can't tell me that you want a normal boring life!"
"Since when is wanting to be normal a bad thing?" Blair shot back. "I'm sick of the games, the drama, and the acts! You and I, no matter how many times we try to make this work, will always fail Chuck! "
"You can try to deny us all you want Blair, but the connection we have will always be there, whether you like it or not."
"Yes Chuck we have a connection. A sick, twisted, connection that leaves me heartbroken over and over again! Just when I think I can be happy with you, I get a slap in the face and another piece of my heart broken!"
"Yes it may be sick and twisted at times, but it is also passionate and strong! Together we are stronger. You have to know that."
"I'm tired Chuck. How many times can I allow you to break my heart, until there is nothing left? My heart will become so bitter that I won't let anyone in." Blair sighed stepping backwards out of his grip.
"Blair…" Chuck started
"And I'm tired of the constant schemes and drama. Being with Dan showed me that there was another way to enjoy life, and believe me that I'm just as surprised when I say that I am starting to prefer life that way. I'm done with our games."
Chuck flinched at Blair's words. Suddenly his pocket started to vibrate, and he quickly moved to turn it off, ignoring Blair's curious stare.
"You love Humphrey don't you?" Chuck asked calmly.
"Yes. I do." Blair whispered nervously, looking into Chuck's eyes.
"Do you still love me?" He asked softly.
"I think I will always love you Chuck. You will always have a place in my heart, but I think Dan loves me more than you ever could and because of that Dan is my future."
"What will you do if Serena is Dan's future Blair? Are you prepared to be second when compared to Serena again?" Chuck sneered.
"I think you should leave." She whispered looking down at the floor.
Chuck's face tightened in anger.
"You don't want that."
Blair looked up at him and glared.
"Yes I do."
Chuck looked at her for a moment. She could see the anger and frustration on his face, but also hurt. She felt the familiar guilt she would get when making him feel this way, but she pushed it down and held her ground. Chuck slowly took a step back from Blair straightened his suit.
"I won't wait for you forever Blair. Dan left to go help Serena, when he should have been up here making up with you. If you ask me, it sounds like you are already second to me."
And with that Chuck walked out of Blair's bedroom, leaving her to her tears once more.
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Serena sat nervously in the back of Jimmy's car watching the switch go down. Ben had convinced her, or forced her more like it, to stay in the car while he and Jimmy made the switch.
The first glimpse she got of Dimitri was of his handsome face as he lit his cigarette. He was definitely Russian. The dark hair and dark eyes, but he also had a rugged chiseled look to his face with an after shave that Serena personally thought was hot. No wonder Georgina had jumped him on a flight.
Serena's thoughts were interrupted by 2 more men bringing forward a girl with a pillow case over her head.
Juliet.
She could just tell by Ben's posture, ridged and stiff, that he was pissed. She heard Ben yell something, and watched as the other men with Dimitri pulled Juliet's blindfold off. Serena sighed in relief at finally seeing Juliet's face. She looked tired and worn down but her face lit up at the sight of her brother.
Serena watched nervously as Ben walked forward and placed the briefcase of money on the car in front of Dimitri, and then took a step back, letting him count and examine the money. Dimitri turned and nodded at his men. One of them pulled out a knife, which made Serena gasp, and Ben was just about ready to jump, when the man cut Juliet's hands free. Suddenly free of her restraints, Juliet ran into Ben's arms. Ben held her tightly and turned them towards the car and away from Dimitri and his men. Serena sensing that Juliet just wanted her brother, jumped out of the back seat and hoped into the front seat with Jimmy, as Ben guided a distraught Juliet into the back seat. Jimmy didn't waste any time and pulled out of the alley, speeding away.
Serena could tell Juliet had been crying and now was just holding onto her brother for dear life. Ben looked up and gave Serena a sad smile before pulling Juliet tighter against him, whispering soothing words.
"Shhh. Jules it's okay. You're safe." Ben whispered against her head, before placing a kiss of her temple.
"Juliet?" Serena said softly.
Juliet seemed to jump 10 feet in the air at Serena's voice, and slowly looked up at her in shock.
"What is she doing here?" Juliet finally asked in a cold whisper.
"She came up with the money Jules." Ben answered sternly.
Juliet's eyes widened.
"You? You paid all that money?" She gasped.
"Of course. And I would have paid more Juliet. I'm so happy you're safe." Serena smiled reaching back and touching Juliet's arm sweetly.
"No no no no no no no! This is all wrong!" Juliet flung Serena's hand off her arm. "You weren't supposed to be the one to come up with the money!" She yelled.
Ben and Serena looked at each other confused.
"Then who was?" Serena asked.
Juliet froze not sure how to answer.
"Jules?" Ben pushed.
"It's your own money?" Juliet asked Serena.
"Yes. The money in my trust fund. My mother helped us take it out." Serena answered.
"Oh my God…Oh my God…" Juliet whispered covering her face with her hands.
"Jules?" Ben asked concerned. Juliet finally looked up at Ben with tears in her eyes and buried her face into his chest.
"I'm so sorry Ben….I'm sorry… so sorry…everything…out of…hand…so stupid…didn't know…" Juliet whispered against his chest in between sobs. Ben looked up at Serena.
"What do you mean that I wasn't supposed to be the one to come up with the money? Who else would have?" Serena asked as patiently as she could muster.
"Is Georgina still at the loft?" Juliet asked suddenly, looking up at Serena.
"How did you know about Georgina?" Ben asked.
"Is she at the loft?" Juliet repeated more firmly at Serena, ignoring Ben.
"Umm, yeah she and Milo… Juliet what is going on?"
"And what about Dan and Blair? Are they there too?" Juliet asked anxiously.
"Jules what is going on?" Ben asked more firmly. Juliet turned and looked her brother.
"I promise I will explain everything as soon as we get to the loft." Juliet answered him, and then turned to a stunned Serena, "Are Dan and Blair at the loft?"
"Dan is, but Blair isn't. They had a huge fight. Dan hasn't come out of his room all day, and the last I checked with Dorota neither has Blair."
"We don't have much time then."
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Oh my Chuck is trying to work this his way isn't he? Poor Dan and Blair! Stay tuned! :)