This story is going to be longer than I had originally anticipated. Oh well I know Seven's being a total ass at the moment, but bear with me. I hope you are enjoying it so far!
Ciphertext – Chapter 15: No Apologies
Luciel stood up, clenching his fists in frustration. It wasn't easy for him to convey his current feelings to Eun-ji. Of course he wanted her. Of course he wanted to leave his job. Of course he felt utterly torn inside. But it was all too late and he wasn't going to pretend that this thing would ever have a fairy-tale ending. He knew that everything had been cast in stone, even before it began.
"I'm going to take a shower," he said, matter-of-factly. "And then I'm going to get on with the project since the deadline's tonight."
Eun-ji tried to break up the tension in the atmosphere. "Do you want me to … shower with you?" she said, a sweet smile gracing her face.
Luciel furrowed his brows. "No!" he fumed, slamming his fist down hard on the table. "Don't even think about it!"
His cold response pained Eun-ji and she tried to reach out to stroke his hair. But before she could touch it, he grabbed her wrist a little too forcefully and stared her directly in the eyes, an unforgiving aura encircling him.
"S-Saeyoung!" she cried. "What's happened to you? Why are you being like this?"
"I might have been fun yesterday, but that's not who I really am. Just forget that any of it even happened!"
"How can you say that?"
"Because I know we're just better off that way."
This can't be real …
Eun-ji felt wet patches forming at the sides of her eyes. "Then, show me who you really are! I want to understand …" she sniffled. "But please, don't shut me out."
Releasing his grip slightly and still holding onto her, he looked even more angry now. "You don't understand, and you don't ever need to," he confirmed.
She knew they had a deeper connection than this. Something had changed his mind that morning and she was willing to risk everything if it meant they could stay together. Prising her wrist away from his firm hand, she started beating her fists on his bare chest. "Saeyoung … no, no, no, no! Just stop it!" Her heart was beating faster than ever, but it wasn't caused by excitement this time – more like an impending sense of doom that was sending out its pulses from the very depths of her soul.
Luciel was numb. How could he even respond to her wishes? "Eun-ji … "
"Stop blaming yourself for everything! I don't care what you've done. Just love me!" she pleaded.
He pushed her away gently. "Just love you?" he echoed. "Do you really think it's so simple?"
"Tell me I'm just being stupid but … isn't it more than obvious how we feel about each other?" Eun-ji knew that if there was even a spark of hope left for them, she would try to capture it.
Luciel wandered over to the kitchen door and looked over his shoulder at her trembling face. "Just remember that … I don't care about your feelings." As those words materialised, he felt himself being snapped in two. He needed to keep his distance.
You know it's not true Eun-ji, but I don't have a choice right now.
He grabbed his clothes from the bedroom chair before making his way to the bathroom and closing the door loudly behind him. Eun-ji just watched as he walked away, without even an ounce of apology in his words. Whatever had she done to deserve this?
Maybe
I
Should
Just
Leave
On the surface, that was what she wanted to do, but no matter how hard she tried, it was impossible to shake off the memory of the man he had been the day before; seductive, pleasantly mysterious and a hell of a lot of fun. How could his entire personality just change in an instant like that? It confused her.
She threw herself onto the bed, clearly unsatisfied with the situation, and picked up her phone. If Luciel wasn't going to listen to her, she might as well try talking with one of the other RFA members. Surely they would know something that she didn't. Flicking through the member phonebook, her thumb hovered over Jumin's contact details for a second, but she reconsidered this, thinking that Zen might be more understanding. She hit the 'call' button on the screen and waited, fixing her eyes on where she knew the camera was hiding in the room.
It only took a few rings for him to pick up.
"Hmm? Emily?" he sounded groggy, like he had just woken up.
"Hey Zen. Yeah it's me."
Hearing her voice made him perk up. "Hey! It's … kind of early to be talking isn't it? Oh well, not that I'm complaining. How's everything going … lovely lady?"
"…"
"What's with the silence? Are you okay?"
"Sorry, I just … I-I don't know why I called you …"
"Ehh? What does that mean? Do you need a reason to talk with me?"
"It's not that …" her voice trailed off.
"Okay …" he paused, sensing her melancholy. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"It's about Seven."
"Oh … Don't tell me … this time he really did-?"
"Uh, well … I don't want to go into the details, but … yeah."
Zen lost it. "SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK IS HE THINKING? I TOLD YOU ALL MEN ARE WOLVES BUT … but I guess you didn't believe me."
"Oh, no. I mean … I wanted to." Eun-ji guessed that Zen had probably turned whiter than his hair.
"YOU DID IT … WITH HIM!?" he began, and then tried to calm himself down so he could think more rationally about her admission. "Ah, that must have been …. Interesting."
"It was very nice actually," said Eun-ji, blushing a little as she remembered their antics. "We had a lot of fun last night."
Zen paused a little before continuing. "So … did you call me just to taunt me or what?"
"Excuse me?"
Did Zen need to spell it out? "I'm … kind of … interested in you," he said.
Eun-ji really hadn't noticed. "Oh?"
"Just 'Oh'? Is that all I get from you?" Zen laughed in spite of himself.
"I mean, I didn't know you felt that way …" she confessed, bringing her knees up to her chin.
"Then … why are you calling me?"
"Because I wanted to talk to someone and you seem like a reliable person."
"Talk to me about what exactly?"
Eun-ji was still a bit reluctant to tell him, but she knew it would just play on her mind if she left the words unspoken. "Seven's been acting strangely this morning."
"Hmm. That's suspicious. How so?" Curiosity got the better of him again.
"He's … already telling me that I don't matter to him anymore, and that last night was a mistake."
Zen felt flustered. "THAT BASTARD! How does he just think he can just light a fire and extinguish it so quickly?"
Eun-ji tried to draw some common ground between the two guys. "Haven't you ever done that to a girl before? Seeing as all men are wolves?"
Offended by her remark, Zen felt he had little choice but to give her an honest answer. "No I haven't. Sure, it's true that I haven't been in a relationship for a while, but I've always treated women with respect. I don't approve of Seven's behaviour. He's an idiot if he thinks that acting cold towards you will make it go away."
"Zen …" she began, realising that he might be the only one who understood what was going through her mind. "… thank you for listening to me."
He was embarrassed to hear her gratitude. It was a bit cute. "No need to thank me. Just … let me know if you want to talk anytime."
"Can I … come and see you?"
Zen was stumped. He didn't know what to say.
"Zen?"
"Uh … "
Eun-ji felt like she was being stifled sitting there. "Can I come to your place … just for a bit? I just don't want to be in this apartment any longer."
Zen was sure that she just wanted to clear her head and let Seven sort out his emotions, but was letting her meet him in person the right thing to do? Despite his fundamental sense of loyalty to Seven, he honestly didn't know if he would be able to control his instincts.
"Please Zen …"
She sounded upset. She needed a shoulder to cry on, that was all. And he had some free time until the afternoon. He couldn't just leave a girl in a state like that. He was a gentleman after all.
He sighed. "Alright. I'll mail you my address. Just be careful on your way and make sure no-one sees you. Wear a hoodie or something. Remember my house is a target for paparazzi these days."
"Thank you. I'll be careful."
Zen ended the call and put his head in his hands. What the hell was going on?