Chapter 23 – Reiner (Arc 4)

Reminiscing over the last two years, Reiner sat on the end of his bunk, iron emblem of his Dragon Fire gear certification in hand and his head filled with wandering thoughts. As he heard the energetic conversations coming from the other bunks about what dragon they wanted, Reiner stretched his back, lying down on the bunk, resting his head on his arms. He had seen Christa and Ymir leaving the training grounds, going to find dragons together he supposed. Oh! He had seen Annie leave the day before, but she was acting somewhat different- her path, her eyes and her body language told him all about the destination where she would end up, even if she didn't know it herself yet. Their homeland.

Whilst he couldn't bring himself to go back, even if with her there for support, he could allow his thoughts to wander even further back, to the adventures they had had around the thick forests, pebbly coasts and rough walled stone valleys. As the image of rock entered his mind, he remembered his younger self chasing after Marcel, Mina and Bertholdt, stamping his feet as he ran, pretending to be a Catastrophic Quaken.

As the thought hit him like a battering ram, his soft reminiscent smile grew into a wolf like grin as he thought around the odd and spontaneous thought; What if could train that dragon? He had absolutely no idea how he'd do it safely, or even ride it at all, what with the whole becoming a ball of death and throwing itself into the damn earth.

He also had no idea if they were even trainable in the first place. Evidently, there was a lot he didn't know. Deciding to try and find out, he walked over to Armin's cabin, the boy with all the books and all the knowledge you could ask for, figuring that he might be able to find out.

But upon walking in that direction, he found himself doing a complete 180 as he saw the smaller statured pale blonde girl knock on the door of, and then entering his room. His head still sometimes ringing from the damage inflicted by the last time he'd come between those, his body reacting to the imminent and potential danger before his mind even realised. Deciding that he would just have to do without, he returned to his cabin, with no idea if what he had just set out to do was even possible, but he at least had to try, didn't he?

Knowing that for him, it would not be that much of a trip, he packed light. It would only take him a day or two he supposed, as he had a friend in one of the higher mines in the nearby mountain and remembered the time they sat in the tavern and he told Reiner the way that they used dragons to help them in the lower mines, near all exclusively boulder classes. And he now figured, they must have, or at least know where to find, a Quaken.

As he passed the outer gate, doors slamming behind him, he wrapped the scarf around his neck, pulling it closer to him as he felt the cold embrace him. Walking along the road, one foot in front of the other, he felt his mind begin to wander before pulling it back into balance, knowing that if he let his alertness slip, he could slip on the icy paths that led to the high mountain tunnel entrances as well. And that would not be ideal; he refused to die before he had taken out as many Titanians as he humanly could, most definitely refusing to be taken out by some frozen water on a rocky path or a jut in a cliff that he didn't realise was there.

The air grew colder as he ascended higher and higher up the mountain, he decided to stop and look out at the horizon, seeing the tall steely walls surrounded his home, how they were its amour; Unbreakable. Driven. Safety. His eyes pulling further out, now watching the softly shimmering ocean and the small island in the distant, wondering at ho-

He shouldn't have stopped. Definitely should not have stopped.

He cursed himself for not paying attention, almost bursting out in laughter again at how crazy it all was, the danger of his situation but not knowing what else to do.

"What in Thor's name are you doing?" He heard from above him in a perplexed soft voice,

"Not now. Of all the times that I need you in my head, now is not the ideal one" He said roughly with a weak smile,

"Well now, you can hardly say that I'm in your head when I'm right here can you?"

Jerking his head up, Reiner saw the now tall faint outline of his lost friend. His regret. His failure. Looking up to those hazel eyes, he saw Bertholdt sitting with his legs on the edge of the mountain's path, looking at him with concern, that same soft smile still sketched onto his face as he looked at Reiner.

He freaked out. He couldn't help it; He was used to hearing his voice but that was just part of the agreement he signed up to when his head became this screwed up. But actually seeing him, not even as he knew him, but as if he had grown, was too much for Reiner to not freak out over! As the shock hit him, he felt his fingers weaken and his breathing hasten, he was going to fall, shit he was going to fall and die an-

The vision pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, "Alright well obviously you're majorly freaked out, so" The vision stated with a hint of frustration "let's get you back up here" As Reiner felt his muscles screaming as he nearly broke, he suddenly felt a hotter than brimstone grip on his forearm, his strength suddenly returning in them as was able to dig his foot into the rocky cliff face, barely scrambling up. As he lay there, his chest rising and falling like the bubbling of a volcano, cold sweat running down his forehead, he slammed his eyes shut, prayin

g to every God he could remember that what he had seen wasn't a spirit, praying it wasn't Bertholdt's ghost, he should've moved on, he should've reache-

"Oh relax, I'm not actually here"

"What?"

"I. AM. DEAD. AFTERLIFE. THE WHOLE DEAL. Gods, did your brains go even further after I left?" Came the voice in a playful tone

Reiner's mind stumbled as he reached for the words "Then uhm… How am I, ah, you know? Seeing you right now?"

The shimmering outline of the boy, last seen in Reiner's draped jacket, now in the uniform that Reiner himself was wearing, simply shrugged his shoulders

"Well you're imagining me for a start but," looking curiously down at his hands, turning them experimentally "But I've got no clue why I'm like this. Guess you needed a helping hand and I came to mind, but that boy couldn't help you, so you let me grow up" His shoulders rising again as he let out a soft chuckle "It would've been nice if I could've really lived to be this big; I mean, I always figured I was tall but this is crazy!". The excitement dying from his voice, instead now filling with melancholy thought "But… I guess it just wasn't in the bones for me eh?"

Reiner, his form now hunched over as he sat up, tears rolling down his face "I've missed you man… I am so sorry… We're both so sor-" his voice cutting off as his throat began to close up. He felt that blazing heat again, except this time encompassing his whole body. Cracking his eyes open a fraction, he saw the pale apparition had now put its arms around him

"Now you listen to me. I have to go soon, but you are to remember one damn thing. I know that I wasn't this confident in life but now that I'm gone I guess things changed but you need to get this into that head of yours: What happened to me wasn't your fault. I was the one who started to like the killing. That was on me, not you. And I died from the weather, you couldn't have done anything more." The boy's eyes now seeming to shimmer somewhat more than the rest of him as his voice cracked with a hint of that same melancholy "So unless you're intending to try and fight the clouds, I'd try to let that go. We'll see each other again; But you had better be damn old and grey when you get here or I will throw you back down. Personally."

"Okay…" Reiner said, his eyes still puffy but the tears had slowed their tide "I'll try..."

The shimmering now beginning to dissipate, he heard one final broken line of thought from it

"Oh and Reiner? Do me a favour, and kill as many of the bastards who stole our childhood as you can before you join me okay?"

As the light left, seeing the road ahead of him now empty, the blue and pink skyline now stretched out before him for miles and miles, he picked himself up, eyes blurred but now fixed onto the path before him. Not a thin, red, dangerous path; but a firm, safe and gentle one.