Chapter 9

"Did we pass through any spatial anomalies?" Reg asked as he peered at the Warp Coil from the catwalk in the port nacelle. "Any resonance fields or gravitic distortions?"

"Sensors registered nothing." Ashby replied and handed him a padd.

"Something must have caused it. Warp coils don't just jump thirty microns out of alignment for no reason." Reg argued as he read the report.

"Well, there doesn't seem to be a reason sir." the blond Ensign stated.

"What is the situation?" Data asked as he joined them.

"It's nothing we can't fix sir, but the investigation into why it happened will remain ongoing for now." Reg stated. "It'll take around four hours to re-seat the coil and get the nacelle back online."

"Very good Commander." Data replied. "I will inform the Captain."

"Hey Reg." Geordi stated as he also appeared, passing Data who nodded on his way out. "Don't worry, I'm not here to step on your turf. I'm just intrigued by this mystery."

"Aren't we all Commander?" Barclay stated as he scanned the coil and it's housing with a tricorder. "Every reading is nominal but something jolted this coil off true." He paused to pass the First Officer the padd of readings and he examined it carefully. "What it was I have no idea yet, but I'll get to the bottom of it."

"Well, keep up the good work and if I think of anything I'll let you know." Geordi smiled and handed the padd to Ashby who walked away. "So, how are…things?"

"Things?" Reg asked innocently.

"Aw c'mon Reg, it's all over the ship that you haven't been in your quarters for the last week."

"I've been there, I had to feed Zimmerman." Reg stated. "And change my uniform…" he smirked.

"So, is it serious?" Geordi grinned.

"Well, I got covered in grease so…" Reg snorted. "Yes, it's serious. She's…amazing."

"I'm happy for you man." Geordi grinned. "Let me know when you need a best man."

Reg frowned as Geordi left the catwalk. He hadn't considered marriage. It's not like it worked out great for his parents. He was in the middle of a nightmare custody battle from the age of four when his father threw his mother out over an argument about a teddy bear. He loved her, he was more than happy to make a commitment and there were certainly advantages to being married in Starfleet. They could actually live together in decent sized quarters. Of course he'd have to introduce her to his cat, he didn't even know if she liked cats. He vaguely recalled her saying she could ride, horses he reminded himself with a brief smile, that was something they had in common at least aside from mind-blowing sex which had certainly improved from the baseline he set during their first time. Not that it could get much worse unless he failed to get it up at all. He could talk to her and she seemed to find him interesting, maybe he should think about popping the question.

He'd have to do it right though. She didn't seem the sort of girl you could just propose to in the middle of making love or just on the spur of the moment while they were doing something else. He'd need a ring and he'd have to go down on one knee, maybe write a little speech. He'd have to wait a while; they'd only been seeing each other for a couple of weeks. Only an idiot would propose to a woman he'd only just started dating.

…

"Data, I need to speak to you?" Guinan asked. "Something isn't right here. People that should be here aren't and…"

"I know. I recall the other timeline." Data stated plainly as he looked up from his padd.

"You do?" she asked with her eyes wide.

"Yes, as does Geordi. A temporal Agent named Andrews brought us here."

"I don't trust that guy Andrews." Guinan stated.

"Nor do we." Geordi said as he joined them at the table. "But, right now he's all we've got."

"Let me know if there's anything you need. We'll talk more later." Guinan told them and returned to her work.

Geordi smiled as he saw Taryn and Reg eating lunch together. "They look happy. Seems Andrews was right about something at least."

"I am still uncertain as to how we are to maneuver him into requesting a transfer to Earth, much less encouraging him to assume a teaching career." Data commented. "However I researched the painting as you suggested and I found it." Data told him.

"Where?"

"It is at the bottom of the North Sea on a sunken German U-boat." Data replied. "It could be as simple as it being put in one packing crate and not another during the Second World War."

"So it was never presented to Captain Barclay and passed down the family." Geordi realised. "Well, that explains him not recognising her from it but he's smitten with her anyway. She nurtured his confidence in the other timeline. Perhaps she'll do the same in this? Besides, it's nice to see them get together without all the angst and the drama, not to mention the blood and the spew. They deserve happiness." Geordi stated.

"Where'd you go?" Taryn asked with a smile and took his hand as they ate lunch together.

"Sorry?" Reg frowned. "Oh, I was thinking about the Warp Coil, it just…doesn't make sense."

"Could it have been an astronomical anomaly of some kind that caused it?" she suggested.

"No we looked for that." He smiled at her, "you should have been an engineer."

"I have no regrets about my career choice. Besides, it would be weird sleeping with my boss." She smirked at him and ate another forkful of pasta.

"How was your morning?" he asked.

"I tried out that parkour program you told me about. It was really good but I bruised my bum on a wall. More correctly falling off a wall." she admitted.

"You need to be more careful." he frowned. "I was thinking we could go riding tomorrow if your behind isn't too sore. It's not like we get the same day off that often."

"Sickbay to Lieutenant Prior."

"Go ahead?" Taryn replied.

"One of the patients you examined yesterday is experiencing complications."

"On my way." She stood and kissed him, "I might not be back to my quarters till really late if it's who I think it is."

"Come to mine then," he suggested, "whenever you're done."

"Okay." She smiled and left at a run.

…

"What time is it?" he asked as she sat on the side of his bed.

"It's 0434, I wasn't going to come but…" She sniffed and reached out to pet the Persian cat next to Reg on the bed. "I…I'm sorry." she sobbed and moved to get up.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked as he shuffled over and pulled her into his arms.

"I had a bad day." she wiped her face on her hand. "Maybe I should go to my own quarters and let you sleep."

"Did you lose a patient?" Reg whispered, stroking her hair.

"No." she replied, "She was pregnant, I lost two." She broke into wracking sobs. "Nothing I did worked, she fought for hours. They both did. I should have saved them." she blurted.

"You did all you could." he whispered into her ear as he held her against him.

"I should have done more." she wailed.

"Listen," he grasped her head and turned it to face him. "I know you, if you couldn't save them they couldn't be saved." He kissed her forehead tenderly.

Her sobbing calmed a little, but her breath still hitched in her chest. "I know I said I was happy with my career choice, and I am. But sometimes I think, I feel like I took a wrong turn somewhere. That there's a path I should be on and I'm not."

"I think everyone has regrets about the road not taken." Reg stated.

"No it's more than that. I know I make a difference as a doctor." She swallowed and sniffed, "But, well there's Data. He should be the First Officer. Starfleet shouldn't have ordered the Captain to pass him over, it's wrong. We need to broaden our definition of life to include the inorganic."

"That's a noble ideal, but it's just not realistic." Reg stated. "Not with the way things are."

"Who's your furry friend?" she asked softly as Reg's cat sniffed her arm and licked her with his sandpaper tongue.

"He's Zimmerman, named after Lewis Zimmerman…"

"The father of holography. I gave an opinion on his case, not that it made any difference to the outcome. Another of my spectacular failures." She smiled a sad smile as she stroked the cats long fur. "I was actually talking to the cat."

"Very funny." he said sarcastically.

"This cat is why someone needs to stand up for artificial life. You named him after a man who created beings from light and energy. Beings with the potential to be alive and yet Starfleet decided to limit their programming by law. Cripple their intellect. If they did that to a biological infant it would be considered a horrific crime."

"You're preaching to the choir here." Reg stated. "Let's resign our commissions, find a planet somewhere away from Federation rules and you can build androids, I'll write holograms and in between we'll rut like animals and eat chow mein off each other's naked bodies."

"Don't joke like that, on days like today I may take you up on it." she said sadly.

"Oh God, it wasn't Ensign Carey was it?" he asked, remembering one of his team was on maternity leave.

"No it was one of the refugees, a fourteen-year-old girl and her half Cardassian baby." Taryn stated and he blanched. "They both had every disadvantage, she was too young, too stressed out for a Bajoran to deliver. The baby looked more like a prem than full term because the mother was so malnourished. The mother haemorrhaged, she bled out so quickly I did an emergency C-Section to save her baby girl but... She threw up everything we tried to feed her, aspirated some, we treated that and her kidneys failed…everything that could have gone wrong did."

"It's harsh but…"

"Don't you dare say it was for the best. She was a baby with a whole life ahead of her. Just because she'd have a rough time growing up the product of a rape doesn't justify depriving her of that opportunity." Taryn argued.

"You're right." he conceded. "If we adopted a baby under those circumstances we'd love it just the same as our own, whatever it's species or history."

"So you want kids?" she asked.

"Don't you?" he replied. "Although I doubt I'd be much of a Dad. I'd be worrying all the time and hysterical probably. You'd be an amazing Mom. I'd love to raise kids with you."

"We wouldn't necessarily have to adopt. I have problems conceiving but there's no reason why I couldn't be pregnant or deliver a child. I do have ova, we'd just need help getting there." She looked at him earnestly. "Tell me we're not talking about having a baby together?"

"I think we are." he smiled.

"I'd better go, I'm not really in a good place to discuss this right now. All broody and upset."

"Are you still off duty tom…well today now?"

"Yes, but I'd like to stop in to Sickbay after Dr Crusher's finished the…autopsies."

"Come to bed and get some sleep." Reg told her, "I'd rather share my bed with you than Zimmerman."

"That's a relief, he was a brilliant man but he was an arsehole."

"I meant the cat." Reg stated as she stripped to her underwear and crawled under the covers.

"I was forgetting, you like girls, Human, Humanoid girls, real girls." she teased as she snuggled against his shoulder. "Your pyjamas are nice, really soft." she said as she stroked his chest.

"Thank you." he replied.

"I didn't know you wore pyjamas." she whispered.

"You never gave me a chance to put any on."

"Valid point." she replied. "I usually sleep in the nude."

"You would." He kissed her forehead softly as Zimmerman settled on his stomach to sleep.

…

"Are those zebras I hear behind us?" Barclay laughed as they rode together on the holodeck.

"Well, what's your explanation?" Taryn asked.

"It's a coincidence." Reg replied.

"The same coil randomly shifts by thirty microns twice, thirty hours apart."

"I'll admit it's unusual..."

"And you've ruled out all the possible environmental and technical causes…."

"Yes, but…"

"Even doctors have to investigate zebras once they've ruled out horses as the source of the hoof-beats." she reasoned.

He shook his head. She had to be wrong. It just wasn't possible. It was too far-fetched, unheard of.

…

"So am I to understand this is the same coil that was misaligned yesterday and the day before?" Picard asked with his arm across his chest and the other hand pressed to his lips thoughtfully. "By thirty microns."

"Yes sir." Reg stated, standing on the Bridge beside the Science station.

"And precisely thirty hours later it shifts from alignment again…"

By exactly thirty microns sir." Reg added. "It's also the thirtieth coil if you count them clockwise from the front of the ship."

"And you've yet to find a cause?"

"No sir… I…I mean yes sir. We can't find a reason for it. Taryn, I mean Dr Prior, she…"

Data turned in his seat at the Science console and looked at Barclay with interest. "Yes Commander, did she have a suggestion?"

"She wondered if…well clearly there's some kind of intelligence in what's happening, it's too much to be a coincidence and…she thinks…"

"Mr Barclay, please get to the point?" Picard asked tiredly.

"She believes the ship is showing signs of sentience." Reg admitted.

"Dr Prior does hold an advanced degree in Cybernetics and AI sir." Data stated. "We currently have no other viable theory."

"Very well. Perhaps you both could liaise with her and see if you can come up with a test of some sort." Captain Picard intoned, "Ascertain whether her theory holds water."

"Aye sir." Data replied as the Captain headed for his ready room.

"Sir, Dr Prior…I mean, we're involved…I don't know if…I mean. Is it a good idea for us to work together?" Reg asked Data desperately.

"Do you doubt her professionalism? Your own?" Data asked.

"No sir." Reg replied with a frown.

"Then you have answered your own question." Data stated.

…

"If there is a burgeoning intelligence at work, what is it trying to tell us?" Taryn posed as a question for discussion as they sat in the computer core chamber pouring through readouts looking for anomalies in recent processes.

"Perhaps it is just trying to make us aware of its presence." Data suggested.

"If it just wanted our attention there are better ways, more obvious ways to get it." Taryn replied. "Life support or messing with non-essential systems. It could even put up a big 'hello' on the Bridge viewscreen."

"It keeps making us stop," Reg commented. "or at least drop out of warp."

"What effect does that actually have?" Taryn asked.

"It alters the estimated time of arrival at our destination." Data replied.

"We're carrying refugees, not time sensitive cargo." Reg argued. "We're turning and burning but it's more like a trade route than a convoy. All the available ships in the fleet are helping evacuate Bajor. It's top priority and everything else is on hold."

"I'm not a psychologist, but surely any being, for want of a better word, has a limited number of motivations. Things it needs to do to survive and procreate, things it does simply from instinct or reflex and…things it does for pleasure in some cases. Whether the actions are benign or malevolent surely depends on your viewpoint. A mouse sees a cat as malevolent when it's being hunted but it's really instinct and survival on the cat's part. Bees pollinating plant life is seen as benign but again it's a byproduct of them foraging for what they need to survive." Taryn stated.

"And your point is?" Reg asked.

"Either it wants us to disengage warp drive to protect itself or because it thinks it's amusing." Taryn argued.

"Why would disengag…" Reg stopped as he completed the thought in his head. He tapped his communicator. "Barclay to Main Engineering."

"Ashby here sir."

"Take the Warp Drive offline immediately. I repeat, take the Warp Drive offline. I need you to start a level one diagnost…" Reg's eyes widened as there was an explosion followed by a scream before the com channel closed. The three of them left at a run towards Engineering immediately.

Dan looked pale and shocked, his uniform covered in green blood as they entered the room. "I'm sorry, I was too late." he wept as they entered to find the blast door down. "Vorat was standing next to the core and... he was…" Reg took his elbow and encouraged the young officer to sit on the floor before he fell down, although he appeared uninjured. He went over to the terminal to check the status of the core as Geordi arrived on the scene.

"Oh God…" Reg whispered as he looked through the clear panel and saw people, people he recognized, his people in a twisted tableau like a something from a chamber of horrors. Bile rose in his throat and he turned away.

"What do you need?" Geordi asked him in deference to his recent promotion.

"Bleach, for my eyes and memory please?" he replied in his mind wishing he could unsee the horrific scene by the Warp Core. Er…"We're in no danger now, the safeties kicked in and shut it down."

"How many are still in the compartment?" Data asked as Taryn began to triage the wounded who were the majority of people in the room. He ran to a terminal to scan for lifesigns and liaise with the transporter room on getting no response in the chaos.

"Can someone get me an emergency medkit? Anyone?" Taryn shouted over the din as she felt the pulse of an officer lying face down on the floor near the blast door. Reg grabbed one from a locker and ran over to her but froze as he realized the young woman, Ensign Renner, wasn't lying next to the emergency bulkhead, it had crushed her at the waist. Taryn snatched the kit from him and opened it, rapidly setting up and giving the woman a hypospray.

"I'm cold." the fair haired woman whispered and Reg blanched as he realized she was conscious.

"What's her name?" Taryn asked him softly.

"Renner, Maggie Renner." he replied. "Can you help her?" She looked up at him and shook her head as Dr Crusher arrived with another larger medkit and a full medical team.

"Maggie, I'm going to give you something to make you more comfortable." Taryn told her and gave another shot.

"I'm okay, I just need to get up." Maggie replied.

"Try and keep still for me." Taryn told the young woman as she held her hand and stroked her hair to comfort her. "Everything's okay." she whispered.

The girl turned and looked up at Reg. "I think the articulation frame blew sir."

"Don't worry about that, you just take care of yourself." Reg told her as he knelt beside her and took her other hand.

"What should we do doctor?" Data asked Dr Cusher as the rest of the injured were helped to Sickbay.

"There's nothing we can do. The door is all that's keeping her alive. If we open it or beam her out she'll bleed out internally in seconds. We just have to keep her comfortable while she's still with us."

…

"I should have shut it down instead of cutting plasma to the coils." Reg stated as he lifted his drink with a shaking hand.

"That would have contravened standard operating procedure and caused a shortfall in ships power." Data stated. "You were not at fault.

"Not at fault? Half my team are injured and seven are dead, who else is responsible?" Barclay asked.

"This isn't the first accident we've had in Engineering and it won't be the last." Geordi stated. "It comes with the job. You know that."

"I didn't take her seriously. I thought she was…I don't know what I thought other than rights for AI is her hobbyhorse and she was just trying to make a point. I should have listened to her." he drained his glass and refilled it from the bottle on his coffee table.

"Reg, I'm not sure drinking a bottle of scotch is going to make things better." Geordi argued.

"I beg to differ." Reg stated taking a swig. "I just watched a…a kid just out of the Academy die slowly from being cut in half, saw the body of an engineer who happened to be standing in the wrong place and got ripped to shreds by a shattered dilithium crystal and five more who were half dissolved in plasma coolant. The least I can do is give them a wake even if I'm doing it all by myself." The door beeped. "What?" Reg bellowed in the direction of the door.

Dan shambled in and handed Reg a padd. "It'll be another seventy-two hours till we get access to the warp core compartment, in the meantime I sent Tweedle-Dum and Tweedle-Dee in to start making the area safe." Reg didn't approve of the nickname the ship's two holographic engineers had been given, but he could see why it had stuck. "That's the full damage report sir. The repairs we can do are all underway." Reg looked at it briefly and lobbed it onto the coffee table beside the bottle. "Can I have some of that?"

"Sure." Reg pushed an empty glass towards him and poured him some. The blond Ensign downed it in one and Reg filled it again and topped up his own glass. "To fallen comrades." he toasted and drained the glass. "Sit down Ensign."

"I don't know how your woman handles it." Dan stated as he slumped into a chair. "The blood and the death…being part Vulcan helps I suppose."

"Not really. She doesn't control her emotions like a Vulcan, she just deals with it later." Reg replied offering Geordi a drink which he once again refused. "She holds it together at the time because she has to. Cluros she calls it, it's an Orion thing… or a Vulcan one…" he frowned as he tried to remember then gave up. "She told me she sometimes feels she missed a higher calling. That she should be fighting for the rights and moving the boundaries of inorganic life or something, she put it better." Data and Geordi exchanged worried glances. "That's why I thought she was nuts when she suggested the ship was trying to communicate with us yesterday. I thought she was justifying a pet theory." He took another drink and poured another in his glass and Dan's. "She deserved better and if I'd listened seven people would still be alive."

"I also considered the possibility and said nothing." Data added. "I was waiting for further evidence to support the theory."

"But a sentient ship? How is that possible?" Dan asked.

"We've been pushing the limits of computer science for centuries, making them faster, more responsive, more personable. We even introduced bio mimetic gel to mimic neural activity. You could argue, and Taryn does, at length to anyone who'll listen that a step to sentient starships is inevitable." Reg explained. "Of course Starfleet consider that heresy."

"I think heresy is a little strong." Dan defended. "No one's getting burned at the stake."

"I don't think it's too strong." Geordi stated.

"Nor do I" Data agreed.

"If Data's legal status was enshrined in law he'd be First Officer." Geordi argued, knowing that he would be for a fact.

"Starfleet has an almost morbid fear of artificial and inorganic life because they just don't understand it, and what little they do they want to wield as a weapon. The last thing they want is a redefinition of life and personhood. It doesn't fit their agenda so they don't accept it's happening." Reg argued. "That's the worst part, I agree with her point for point and I still didn't listen." He clenched his jaw and looked at the now empty bottle. "I'm not drunk enough, I need more booze." he stated and walked to the replicator. Taryn entered his quarters and stood at his side looking up at him. "I don't need a lecture about the dangers of drink." he told her as he took the bottle from the food slot.

"You won't get one from me." she stated. "In fact I'll join you."

"Another glass." Reg asked the replicator.

"No, I'll have a synthetic mojito please?" Taryn asked the device. "I don't like scotch." she told Reg as an aside.

"I thought you were going to have a proper drink." Reg chided.

"Make it a double?" she added. "The only real alcohol I drink is champagne, and I don't get drunk on it." she explained.

"You won't get drunk on synthehol either." he told her as they walked to the table and she smirked.

"I thought you were a lucky son of a bitch to get in the pants of a Green Woman Boss and she's a cheap date too?"

Reg smiled as he gazed at the face of the petite doctor sat on his knee downing her third synthetic drink. "You want another one?" he asked as she giggled and ran a lazy finger around his rank insignia, and gazed into his eyes.

"Another what?" she asked earnestly.

"Another drink…" he suggested and she silenced him with a torrid, frantic kiss.

"Yes, I'd love another drink." she whispered and began kissing softly along his jawline.

"If you guys are gonna start necking I need another bottle." Dan moaned and headed for the replicator. "What can I get you sirs?" he asked Data and Geordi.

"You know, I'll come with you." Geordi stated. "I need a real drink too but I'm not in the mood for scotch." he said and followed him.

"I really should have listened to you." Reg told her earnestly but a little glassy-eyed, sweeping her bobbed hair behind her ear affectionately. "It looks like you were right."

"It sounded a load of bollocks, I don't blame you for being cleptical…" she belched loudly and shot her hand to her mouth before giggling.

"I believe you mean skeptical." Data stated.

"I shouldn't have been cleptical," Reg replied, "you're so clever and… beautiful…" he kissed her neck.

"I could get you drunk too." she told Data pointing at him but missing. "It would just take a teensy bit of programming…" she picked up the padd from the table and began tapping into it. "I could even give you an orgasm."

"I'd rather you didn't." Reg frowned.

"Not perso…not like that." she told him. "A friend of mine did a study on humanoid sexual response…he's like…Masters and Johnson but less ethical about his research. A cut price Dr Mizan. Anyway he has all this data on physical response…I could make you come like a Klingon if I wanted. I'd just need to write an em...ulsification program."

"Do you mean an emulation program?" Data asked, interested in what she was suggesting.

"It's true, she made me come like a Klingon last night." Reg laughed.

"Shouting qapla' at the crucial moment isn't exactly what I mean." she joked. "At least you didn't come on a Klingon, they don't like it in their hair." Taryn laughed and handed Data the padd, leaning on his shoulder as she became helpless with laughter. He read the program she had written with interest. It used his own knowledge of the effects of intoxication and accessed his sensory and behavioral algorithms. He was surprised he hadn't thought of it himself. He opened a file to contain it, debugged it and was surprised to find only two errors and parsed it. As soon as he executed the file a smile spread over his face and he felt a warm sensation in his face and a not unpleasant buzz. It was very similar to the polywater intoxication he had experienced shortly after joining the Enterprise. "No seriously, I had a patient a few years ago. His Klingon mate had been watching Human porn and wanted him to spunk on her tits. Of course he flicked it everywhere like a fucking idiot and she went apeshit because it was in her hair. Broke nearly every bone in his body." Data giggled at her anecdote and she smiled, realizing he'd run her program.

"Is it true what they say about people…with objects… inserted?" Reg asked nervously.

"I removed a gravitic caliper from a blokes arse once. He said he was working and fell on it."

"Working naked?" Data asked.

"Apparently so." she replied with an arched brow, "Oh and some idiot tried to use the collar from an antimatter injector as a cock-ring. It turned so blue you'd think he was Bolian. We had to split it with a plasma cutter to get it off."

"Shit." Reg winced and adjusted his groin nervously.

"A colleague of mine claimed he knew someone who delivered a million baby Krellian lobsters from a woman who'd used one as a dildo but I suspect it's an urban myth."

"We got tequila!" Dan grinned as he shimmied over to them and took his seat clutching a bottle with another under his arm and a cluster of shot glasses. "And synthetic tequila for our green lady." Geordi appeared with limes and salt behind him.

"Thank you." she smiled sweetly at the Ensign.

"No sweat baby." he replied

"I've never drunk tequila." Reg commented.

"I know what to do, my brother loves tequila." Taryn stated.

"Which one?" Reg asked. The rugby player, the bank robber, the nerd, the cellist, or the cadet?"

"Actually all of them now I think about it." she replied.

"You have five brothers?" Dan said incredulously.

"And two sisters, another cadet and a high school student." Reg replied.

"Are they green too?" Dan asked with interest.

"I'm the only one with coralfluff…" Taryn frowned.

"Chlorophyll?" Geordi suggested.

"Yes, that's it." Taryn pointed at him. "Lick my neck." she ordered Reg.

"Certainly." he whispered and happily complied.

She giggled at the sensation. "Okay, you lick the salt, drink the shot and suck on the lime." she explained.

"That sounds easy. Oh…" he gasped as she sprinkled salt on her neck and he sucked at it hungrily.

"The shot?" she reminded him.

"Oh yes..." He smiled and knocked it back then looked around for the lime wedge grimacing. She was holding it between her teeth.

"If your brothers taught you that you're from one weird family." Dan stated as he sprinkled salt on his hand and watched his senior officer sucking face passionately opposite.

"No, I learned that trick from an old Earth situation comedy." she replied after their lips parted.

"I love tequila." Reg told her softly and poured another shot.

"I thought you would." she replied and nibbled at his earlobe with her arms around his neck.

"I'm gonna call Laraby, see if she's off duty." Dan frowned.

"Is that your girlfriend?" Geordi asked.

"No, we're just fuckbuddies." he replied and left the table.

"Did you ever have a fuckbuddy?" Data asked Geordi.

"I'm not even sure what that is." Geordi replied and sucked salt from his hand and drank his shot.

"It's a friend you have casual sex with." Taryn explained.

"I'd have liked one of those when I was his age." Reg said wistfully.

"Me too." Geordi replied.

"I may have had one, she was certainly a friend but it only happened once." Data frowned.

"That doesn't count." Taryn replied, "It has to be at least a semi-regular thing." The three men all stared at her. "Are we playing 'I never' now?" she asked with a giggle, licked salt from Reg's neck and took her shot then sucked on the lime wedge in a sensual way as he watched intently.

"If I am interpreting the rules of that particular game correctly, that means she has indeed had a fuckbuddy." Data stated with a slight quirk of his lip.

Reg looked at her with a hurt expression. "He was rubbish compared to you." she stated and kissed his nose softly. "Okay, my turn. I've never given a woman oral sex." she looked at the trio expectantly and smirked as they all downed their shots.

"I have never given a man oral sex." Data stated when he took his turn.

"That's very interesting." Taryn replied as she drank her shot. "Are you programmed to be heserotexual?" she said as she applied salt to Reg's neck again and he did to hers in readiness. Geordi laughed at her spoonerism.

"No." He replied. "I simply am. Although others have been the initiators in all my romantic liaisons so far." he admitted. "Perhaps my being modelled on my creator who preferred women is a factor. It is your turn Geordi."

"So I say something I've never done and if you guys did it you take a drink?" Geordi confirmed. "Does it have to be a sex thing?"

"No." Taryn replied. "But it's more fun if it is." she grinned.

"I've never made out with a Bridge Officer." Geordi replied and Taryn and Data both did a shot. "Interesting…" Geordi said as he looked at his friend of many years.

"I am not saying who it was." Data told him.

"I can guess." Geordi grinned.

"She's busy. Apparently she'd rather get her toenails clipped than drink with us." Dan said moodily.

"It's called a pedicure, and it's a serious matter." Taryn advised him. "I can't even get an appointment."

"Why not?" Reg asked.

"The bitch in charge of appointments at the parlour wanted to be Tanya." she pouted. "She's like…a…a….bitch, she tells everyone she doesn't like there are no appointments and cancels them if you book through the computer."

"I'll book one in my name and you can turn up for it." Reg told her.

"You'd book a pedicure?" Dan asked.

"Why not? Foot care is very important. It's in the Officer's Handbook." Reg argued. "Besides it's for her not me."

"Officer's Handbook?" Dan said incredulously. "From when? 1916? Does it mention trench foot?"

"It is in the Officers Handbook." Taryn stated.

"Page 184, paragraph 2." Data informed him. "And while it does not contain information on trench foot it does advise on foot care in water logged environments."

"Where were we in the game?" Geordi grinned.

"Your turn." Taryn told Reg.

He sighed. "I never…shaved my balls."

"Oh we're playing that are we?" Dan grinned.

"I don't have balls." Taryn protested, then laughed as Dan and Geordi were drinking.

"I do not have hair on my balls." Data giggled.

"That's more than I needed to know dude." Dan stated. "So have you shaved your pussy?" he gave her a lecherous look with his brow raised.

"Watch your mouth Ashby!" Reg shouted angrily and Taryn calmed him with a hand on his chest.

"Does waxing count?" Taryn asked. Dan nodded and she licked the salt from Reg's neck before drinking her shot. "Not for a while though. I can't get an appointment for that either."

"Reg, you could book in to get your bikini line done as a placeholder?" Geordi teased.

"That's a bad idea. They'd have to replicate so much extra wax beforehand no one would get in the door." Dan grinned. "Okay," Dan frowned thoughtfully. "Let me see, what haven't I done?"

"We may be here some time." Geordi joked.

"I've never had sex with a hologram." Dan stated eventually.

"Oh that's just hysterical Dan." Reg complained.

"What?" he asked incredulously.

"No one will ever let it rest, will they? Who told you?"

"Oh my God, you…" Dan stifled a laugh. "Oh Reg I didn't know."

"Yeah right." Reg said as he noticed Taryn was sprinkling salt on her tongue. At least he was going to enjoy the shot. "Hold on. You told me you fell in love on a holodeck once?" Reg asked Geordi with a scowl.

"Yeah, but I didn't bone her." Geordi replied. "It wasn't like that. It was…romantic."

Taryn turned Reg's scowling face to hers and waggled her salt covered tongue at him. "Oh sorry." he replied and delicately licked off the salt before downing his shot and grabbing the lime.

"I've never done a strip tease for anyone." Taryn stated.

"Kivas Fajo asked me to wear a special outfit." Data suggested hopefully.

"That's…disturbing but not really a strip tease Data." Geordi commented.

"Really, you've never…" Reg asked her and she shook her head. "Would you?" he whispered.

"What? Now?" she asked with a frown.

"God no, not now." he cast his eyes around. "Later? Just for me?"

"If you like." she smiled.

"I have never played hop scotch." Data stated and everyone took a drink.

"I never bought a Horgon." Geordi stated and only Dan took a drink, they all appraised him with arched brows.

"What? I was on vacation." he defended. "I never…no I did that…" Dan mused. "Um…I never mated with a Klingon." They all sat exchanging glances.

"Okay, I was never breast fed." Reg stated. Taryn, Geordi and Dan all took drinks but Data abstained.

"I've never been beaten at arm wrestling." Taryn stated.

"No way." Dan argued. "You're like… really tiny. Someone must have beaten you at least once. Back me up Reg."

"I'm not disagreeing with her, I know how strong she is." Reg stated with a smirk.

"Was that a challenge Dan?" Geordi asked.

"Yeah," the young officer replied with a scowl. "Okay, it was." He stood up and walked towards the dining table in Reg's living room

"Do you mind?" Taryn asked Reg and he released his grip on her waist to let her stand. She walked over, sat down and grasped his thumb with her much smaller hand.

"Okay, take the strain. Go." Geordi stated as the others stood around the table. Taryn's face showed strain as he slowly pressed her hand towards the table with considerable effort. Suddenly she smirked and pushed back, driving his hand to the table's surface.

"Holy crap." Dan exclaimed. "She toyed with me…."

"And it was my right hand and I'm left handed." she admitted, rubbing it in as she stood up. "Sorry Dan." Reg wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed her cheek.

"I'm proud of you." He smiled and squeezed her tight with a growl before picking her up by the elbows and walking back to the couch. He fell backwards on it and she landed giggling on top of him.

"I have never…done a lot of things." Data frowned and looked sad as he returned to his seat. "So many experiences I will never…experience."

"Oh strewth he's gone all maudlin." Taryn stated. "Reset the program." she told him as she struggled to sit with Reg wrestling her and he smiled again. "That's better." she patted his cheek and smiled at him.

"I have never been married." Data stated.

Taryn's face fell. "I don't want to play anymore." she said and climbed off Reg's lap. "I want to dance. Computer, play file Prior Dance Mix 3." She stood up and pulled at Reg's hand. "Dance with me?"

"I'm not drunk enough to dance to that kind of music." he protested.

"Please?" she begged.

"I will dance with you." Data offered. "If you teach me the steps."

"It's not that kind of dancing. You just move to the music." She took his hand and they moved to an open space and she began to gyrate in time to the driving beat. Data shuffled awkwardly opposite her. "Er…okay, let's try something else." she stopped dancing." Computer, Play…. Prior Disco mix. I'll show you some moves and then you'll know how to throw some shapes okay?"

"Throw some shapes?" he looked around, "We do not have any shapes, or a potter's wheel…"

"No not like you throw a pot…Never mind. Like this." She struck a typical disco pose with her finger in the air then switched to the other side three times while wiggling her hips and pointed to the side striking a pose.

"Ah…you make shapes with your body." Data realized and copied her.

"That's it, you're groovin' like Travolta!" she said and did another classic disco move for him to copy.

"Accessing…. Ah John Travolta. 20th and 21st century actor. Known for dancing in his early works." he said as he followed her moves.

"You should watch Saturday Night Fever. It's a classic." she smiled as Dan got up and joined in.

Data stopped dancing suddenly and walked over to the terminal. He sat impassive, his eyes shifting rapidly for a few moments, light flickering on his face. He stood, walked over, and took Taryn in a Tango pose.

"You want to do the Tango Hustle?" she asked with a smile.

Reg smiled as he watched them dance around the room, Taryn laughing as Data swung her around and dipped her. Then his expression changed and he sighed. "I'm too old for her." he said to Geordi. "Maybe I should end it. The longer it goes on the more it'll hurt right?"

"Do you know what the average lifespan of an Orion is?" Geordi asked. "Ninety years."

"Ninety?" Reg paused and chewed his finger. "I'd outlive her if we both live an average lifespan?" He shook his head. She's more likely to age like a Human surely? Or even a Vulcan?"

"It's obvious the age difference doesn't matter to her and let's face it, you're not exactly beating them off with a shitty stick." Geordi said as he drank some tequila. "You'd be an idiot to let her go Reg. She adores you and it's obvious how you feel about her."

"You're not getting maudlin on me too are you?" Taryn asked as she leaned over and kissed Reg softly.

"A little." he admitted as she straddled his lap and put her arms around his neck.

"I'm extremely drunk." she advised him. "I may…exhibit… a lack of self-control."

"No kidding?" he smiled.

"Don't let me do anything silly…" she told him as she grabbed the bottle of synthetic tequila and took a large swig. "I may try to fuck you later, just so we're clear I give consent. I won't bitch later that you took advantage."

"That's useful to know." Red replied as she took another swig. She handed him the bottle and unzipped her uniform, separated the jacket from the jumpsuit and pulled it off awkwardly.

"This isn't the strip tease, don't worry." She shook her head as she unzipped her polo neck and removed that too to reveal a vest top. "I just got hot dancing."

"You are so smashed." he replied with a smile.

"I'm smashed on you." she touched his lips with her finger and tumbled backwards off his lap banging her head on the coffee table.

"Shit, are you okay?" Reg asked desperately as he and Geordi moved to help her.

"I'm okay." she said, struggling to her feet. "I just need another drink." she snatched the bottle and drank some more. "That's much better." She stepped onto the coffee table and pointed at Reg dramatically. "The minute you walked in the joint…"

Reg watched wide-eyed and a little horrified as she belted out Big Spender, complete with bump and grind action. Dan and Data ceased their disco dance-off and turned to watch with interest.

"I think she may have had enough." Geordi told him as she moved on to All That Jazz.

"Okay, the show is over. Time to go. No one gets to see this Sheba shimmy shake but me." Reg stated and grabbed her around the waist. "Goodnight." he said as he carried her off to the bedroom still singing. "See yourselves out."

"We could take the party to my quarters?" Data suggested and Geordi and Dan both nodded and followed him.

"Let me look at your head?" Reg asked as he wrestled her onto the bed.

"It's fine. Trust me. I'm a doctor." she said as he looked through her hair. He grabbed a tricorder from his nightstand.

"You've got egg on your head." he told her and took her hand to let her feel the bump. Then he scanned it and showed her the readings.

"It's just a haetamoma." she said. "I'll be fine."

"A what?"

"A hae…a big bruise." she looked at his tricorder and frowned. "I should constipate that. You shouldn't have a tredical micorder. You're a hycopondriac."

"If you remember any of this tomorrow feel free to confiscate it." Reg snorted as he hid it back in the cabinet. She really was an adorable drunk. He was more than a little hammered himself and he sat on the bed beside her watching her struggle to take off her boots. "Here let me?" he offered but she pulled away and stood up.

"I promised you a trip sease and a trip sease… you will get…" she slurred. "Da-da-da da da-da-da." Reg giggled as she wobbled about while singing to the tune of The Stripper while moving the bottom of her top from side to side with both hands before pulling it over her head. "Shit, that hurts…" she swore as she caught it on the bump on the back of her head. She resumed singing as she swung it around violently and let go, narrowly missing Reg's eye and taking out the bedside lamp with it. She nearly fell taking off her remaining boot and there was a yowl from Zimmerman as he dodged it when she threw it over her shoulder as she fixed Reg with what was clearly meant to be a sexy stare. "Fuck, sorry Mimmerzan." she said with her hands over her mouth. "Is he okay? Did I hurt him?"

"You just missed him. He's fine, but he looks a little vexed. Come here before someone loses a limb." Reg said taking her in his arms laughing heartily. "God you're wonderful."

"I'm a sterrible ripper aren't I?" she said gazing up at him, her eyes unfocused.

"Yes, but I love you anyway."

"I love you too… Maybe I'll strip for you when I'm a leeettle less smashed." she snuggled against his chest. "You're a wonderful lover you know. I don't just mean the physical stuff…You're gentle and kind. Being with you is one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life."

"You really are drunk." he smiled and nuzzled her hair.

"No I mean it. If people realized how sweet you are I'd have competition lining up halfway around the saucer." She held him tighter. "You deserve so much better than me."

He tilted her face to his by the chin. "I get the sweeter deal, believe me." He dipped his head to hers and kissed her. They began to grapple frantically, desperate to touch each other's skin as she tore at his uniform. He lifted her, kissing the soft skin of her neck, her shoulder as he deposited her on the bed. "Wait right there." he told her, "I'll be right back, don't move a muscle." he ordered and disappeared into the bathroom. He emerged moments later having relieved himself and emitted a disappointed sigh. She was face down on the bottom of the bed snoring. She appeared to have passed out half way through removing her trousers, which were by her knees and was still wearing her bra and panties.

"Typical." Reg tutted. He pulled off her trousers, pulled back the covers and dragged her up the bed. Then stripped to his underwear, tucked in behind her and pulled the covers over them both. Part of him, the part between his legs, hoped she would wake up while he was putting her to bed. He was definitely in the mood for some drunken debauchery but apparently it was not to be.

"I will tell him," she murmured in Low Orion. "I don't want to hurt him, but he has to know..."

He shook his head and sniggered, she was speaking Orion in her sleep again. Another of her quirks that he found adorable. One of these days he'd fire up the Universal Translator and find out what she was talking about. She made an anguished noise and stirred.

"It's okay." he whispered as he stroked her hair and tenderly kissed her shoulder. "It's just a bad dream." Her breathing settled and he held her close, breathing in her scent as he drifted off to sleep.

Author's Note:

I do not own Saturday Night Fever, or The Big Bang Theory where Taryn learned her Tequila trick.