Chapter 11
"I thought you were taking today off?" Taryn said as she entered the holodeck.
"I'm not working." Reg replied, or rather his legs did as they stuck out from under a console.
"This is what you do for fun?" she asked as she crouched next to him.
He shuffled out from under it and leant on his elbow with a photon scanner in his hand. "It's something I've been thinking about for a while now. But…it's not exactly within the protocols laid down by Starfleet for holographic constructs."
"How naughty." she smiled. "If you tell me about it will you have to kill me?"
"Only la petite mort, ma chérie." he assured her as he took her hand and kissed it tenderly. "Nice ring. Someone's a lucky guy." He craned his neck as she leaned in to kiss him. "A very lucky guy." He kissed her again.
"Well," she said as she moved to sit cross legged next to him, "my French is matched only by my appalling Vulcan but I'm fairly sure la petite mort is an orgasm. I think I can make the ultimate sacrifice and risk asking what you're up to."
"What do you know about Ira Graves?"
"He's dead. He was a randy old bastard with an inflated opinion of himself and his abilities but he probably came closer than anyone else to cracking the Human Equation with his synaptic scanning technique. Although from the notes Noonien Soong left when he died he may have beaten Graves to it."
"In that case you know more than me." Reg admitted. "Do you have a copy of Soong's notes?"
"There is only one copy, and it certainly isn't in the public domain." Taryn replied cryptically. "If you ask Data nicely he may let you look at Soong's handwritten notes too."
"You see, I knew there's a reason why I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He smiled and kissed her again.
"So," she prompted, "Ira Graves…"
"I've been studying his work, and thinking about," he reached up and activated something on the console he was working under, "that." he pointed to a large device that hovered ominously over a seat that appeared in the middle of a room.
"Oh my God." she whispered and stood, walking towards the device with a fascinated expression on her face. "Is this…? Holy crap it's an interface with…" she looked up. "Are those dynamic synaptic scanners?" She touched the arm of the seat. "This is streets ahead of anything I've ever seen."
"Thank you, although I can't take all the credit." He walked to her side. "There was a probe and I was briefly made the most advanced Human being to ever exist. Not that I like to brag of course." He waited for her to laugh and was surprised that she was still awestruck by the Neural Scan Interface.
"Oh my God, have you tried it yet? Does it translate into a functional matrix?" she asked desperately.
"Last time I used it…let's just say I didn't win any friends and nearly wound up spending the rest of my life in that seat. But as for what I'm planning you're way ahead of me, I've only just got the thing plumbed in."
"I know you promised me a little death…dear God." She put her arms around his neck. "I knew you were clever but…this is brilliant."
"If this gets you off, wait till I power it up." he laughed.
"We have to speak to Data. The notes he has go further than Graves work. If we can get a matrix to work on a grid, nurse it to stability and build it a body…"
"We can take it off the grid." Reg reasoned. "In theory maybe. Don't forget Maddox stripped Data down and still couldn't build a working positronic brain."
"I'm not Maddox. I haven't been trying to reverse engineer someone else's work. I've been studying real neural tissue in action and… I may not have cracked it yet but I have some new ideas. I haven't followed them up because I don't want my work confiscated by Starfleet and misused."
Reg drew a deep breath. "So we resign our commissions. Then what?"
"We find somewhere to live and work."
"It'll have to be outside the Federation." Reg pointed out. "How will we fund our research?"
"Finance isn't an issue." she assured him.
"If you think I'm living off your husband then forget it." he snapped angrily and pulled away. "I have at least some pride. If we're going to have a family we're supporting it ourselves."
"Whoa! Easy Tiger." She smiled and grabbed his sleeve, pulling him into a hug. "You happen to be shacking up with a princess in her own right remember? An independently wealthy princess thanks to her obscenely rich grandmother who adored her Little Flower." She smirked. "How do you feel about being my kept man?"
"I could get used to that I suppose." He returned her embrace a little reluctantly. "Your Nanna called you Little Flower?" he asked with a smile. "That's adorable."
"My Human grandma calls me Sweat-Pea too." she admitted. "I already contacted the bank. I thought we'd have to call in at the Homeworld to add you as co-signatory but they say they can do it if you give permission for them to access your biometric data held by Starfleet command."
"No, It's your money…" he argued.
"And you are my mate in every way that counts. This is the only legal commitment I can make to you and I'm doing it. I already left instructions that you get everything if anything happens to me when I called them anyway. It's our money now." She sighed and held him close. "There's something else…"
"Don't tell me. Let me guess." he said sarcastically. "You have three kids? You used to be a man? You lost your virginity to a Targ? What?"
"I think we should ask Data to come with us." she whispered.
"I know it's cosmically unjust but Starfleet own him." Reg pointed. "He's property, materiel…"
"As my grandmother Edara would have pointed out… Property is a flexible concept in Orion culture. If we set up home on an Orion colony the Federation would never risk pissing off the Tahedrin by staging a raid to get him back. They're already on their uppers from liberating Bajor and the rescue operation, not to mention the Dominion threat with them still in league with the Cardassians, the Breen…" She gazed up at Reg. "Besides, they wouldn't look for him if they thought he was dead."
Reg sighed. "We can broach the topic I suppose."
"So what's the next step for what you have in mind here?" she said brightly.
"Try and get a scan of someone's synaptic pattern and see if it can be converted into a functional holomatrix." Reg stated.
"My neurology isn't exactly standard but I'd be happy to volunteer." Taryn suggested.
"In that case take a seat and we'll give it a try."
…
"You are Data." the Bajoran woman stated as she stopped him in a corridor.
"Yes Vedek, may I help you?" he replied politely and was a little shocked when she grasped his ear.
"You are a lost soul." she shook her head.
"Perhaps my artificial nature…"
"Lost in time." she stated. "You and another."
"Yes Vedek." he said with surprise. "You understand our predicament?"
"The Prophets have revealed some of it to me."
"Vedek Onara?" one of the other Vedeks took hold of her, a man Data recognised as Vedek Vornas. "I'm sorry she's disturbed by her experiences during the occupation. She doesn't always make sense." the man led her away along with another man in robes.
"Wait please?" Data pursued them and took her hand. "Is there something you wish to say to me Vedek Onara?"
"I'm glad Barclay found you Number One, but I am saddened that he is going to lose his wife. Those poor children. Three of them." she told the other Vedek. "So sad, a child without a mother is only matched by a mother without her child." She turned back to Data. "Tell him I'm so sorry, I wanted so much to help him. I hoped the Tear would be enough."
"Come on Lyra. We should be going. The Commander is a busy man." The Vedek smiled supportively and gently passed her to his colleague. "I'm sorry, she lost her son in the camp. A sweet little boy. It turned her mind but we hope one day she will return to us. She tends to ramble, her thoughts are scattered."
"On the contrary, I believe she has remarkable focus and clarity." Data replied. "She is welcome to speak to me any time she wishes," he raised a finger to stop the man's objection, "I will not consider it a bother. She is a guest on this ship and free to communicate with any of the crew. I trust you will not prevent her autonomy?"
"Of course not Commander," the man looked affronted, "I am, however charged with her welfare."
"Then I shall not detain you from your task Vedek Vornas." Data replied with a brief smile.
…
"Geordi, Onara Lyra is on board and she knows where we are from." Data stated blankly as he entered his friend's quarters.
"Kai Onara?" Geordi asked incredulously.
"In this timeline Vedek Onara and she is believed to be psychologically disturbed, but I suspect she has been in communion with the Prophets and is having difficulty distinguishing between this timeline and ours. She spoke of Barclay's three children, expressed sorrow that he would be losing his wife and told me she had hoped that giving him the Orb would be enough. She called me Number One Geordi."
"That's kinda tough evidence to argue with." Geordi replied. "Do you think she'll be able to help us at all?"
"I do not know. But we need all the help we can get."
…
"This table is taken." Lieutenant Barrymore told Taryn as she went to sit down.
"Sorry I didn't realise." Taryn replied and left the empty table to move to another.
"So is that one." Barrymore told her. "They're all reserved."
"I see." Taryn said and folded her arms. "I know you have a fat arse but I didn't think you needed that many seats."
"Get the hint, you aren't welcome here, you mongrel freak. You're only here in case that machine posing as an officer breaks down." Barrymore hissed into her face. "We don't need either of you on this ship, no matter what Picard says."
"Back off." Taryn warned coldly.
"Make me?" she replied as three other officers stood behind her.
"You really don't want to take me on Barrymore." Taryn said, standing her ground.
"Why, will you call your Daddy? Tell him you're being picked on? Or maybe your boyfriend the Holo-fucker?"
Taryn turned to walk away but found two more officers blocked her path. "Where are you going sweetheart? one of the men leered. "We're not done talking yet."
She snorted with laughter. "You're done Hargrove. I'll go through you if I have to."
"There's six of us and only one of you." he sneered, his face close to hers.
"Well call some more of your mates and it'll be a fair fight." she replied menacingly and took a combat stance. He looked a little taken aback. "Didn't you know? I grew up with seven siblings and was Mixed Martial Arts Champion every year I was at the Academy. Look me up. I can certainly handle two out of shape Stella Cartographers and four bone idle enlisted Techs."
"Is there a problem here?" Guinan asked.
"I was just leaving." Taryn told her with a smile and relaxed her stance as though nothing as wrong and the group dissipated, Hargrove slamming into her with his shoulder menacingly as he passed.
Guinan followed her into the corridor. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, it's not my first angry mob." She smiled and walked away.
Guinan turned and walked back into her bar. She headed straight to the table where Barrymore was sitting laughing with her gang of bullies.
"Barrymore, Hargrove. Get out of my bar, you're banned until further notice." Guinan stated.
"You can't do that." Barrymore protested.
"I can and I just have." Guinan told her plainly. "Unless you want to make an issue of it?"
They glared at Reg as they left the bar and he frowned and approached Guinan. "Has Taryn been here? We're supposed to meet for lunch."
"You just missed her." Guinan replied. "When you find her tell her she's always welcome in here."
"What do you mean?" he asked looking worried.
"She'll know what I mean." Guinan told him.
He finally caught up with her nearly an hour later in her quarters.
"Taryn, what's going on? You weren't answering your communicator and I've been all over the ship chasing you. Dr Crusher told me you dropped out of the theatre group…"
"I have. I joined to make friends and I got the opposite." she replied as she took a bite of her sandwich.
"You have got friends there. Lots of people like you." he argued. "Did something happen at the bar?"
"Nothing new." she said coldly. "It doesn't matter, I've resigned my commission."
"Already? I thought we were going to wait until we got to the refugee camp?"
"If I stay I'm liable to lose my temper and kill someone." she stated. "Captain Picard agreed to drop me at Starbase 192 and I'll hitch a ride to Earth from there. You can catch up with me later if you want."
"If I want?" he asked incredulously and grasped her upper arms, pulling her out of her seat. "Tell me what happened?"
"Barrymore and her cronies. They cornered me and tried to threaten me."
"What? Why?"
"Apparently I'm just here in case the 'machine posing as an officer breaks down' and both of us are surplus to requirement. They weren't exactly complimentary about you either."
"What did they say?" he asked.
"I'm not repeating it." she told him and avoided his gaze.
"Holo-fucker?" he said sadly and she sighed, dropping her head onto his chest. "That's not a new one. Why is it bigots have no imagination?"
"They're bigots because they have no imagination." She wrapped her arms around him. "I've had other threats too, since I came aboard. Some people are frightened of Data and all artificial life, what they represent and I'm outspoken on the topic. I've had articles published. I'm hated by extension." she admitted.
"I've had some flack too over the years. People, probably the same people who've been goading you, think I'm building a holographic army to take over the ship. My problem was never about that though. It was about feeling accepted and wanted. Included. Everything you make me feel about myself." He sighed and wrapped his arms tighter around her. "I'm going to see the Captain. I'll tell him I'm leaving the ship with you."
"I said I'd keep working till then." she whispered and he nodded. "In the meantime I'll try not to lose my rag and rip anyone's head off."
…
"May I help you Vedek Onara?" Taryn asked as the Bajoran woman entered Sickbay nervously.
"You are here." she beamed with joy as she took hold of Taryn's ear. "Your Pagh is strong, I can see why you are so important to him." She pressed a locket into her hands. "This is for you."
"I can't accept this." Taryn demurred and tried to give it back.
"The Prophets wish you to have it." Onara said and placed it around her neck, unzipped her uniform and tucked it inside. "It is yours child." she cupped her cheek. "Trust the Prophets. It will make the transition that is to come easier for you to bear."
"What did she give you?" Dr Crusher asked with a frown as the Vedek left.
"A necklace, a pendant. I'll return it to Vedek Vornas, he seems to be her minder, it looks valuable." She looked up as the ship rocked and they went to red alert. A medical emergency sounded and they dashed to the panel. "It's Sensor Control, an EPS interlink blew, I'll go." she said as she grabbed her medkit and broke into a run with Nurse Ogawa at her heels.
As they reached the corridor she held Alyssa back as there was another explosion. "Stay here." she told her as she pulled open a panel and grabbed a breathing mask from the wall nearby and ran into the smoke filled room. The first man she reached was dead, she scrambled over his body to his colleague who was screaming, his face and hands badly burned. She grabbed him and helped him towards the door. Data appeared through the smoke beside her and grabbed the man while she ran back for the other operator. She found a pulse and pulled him towards the door when Reg and Geordi appeared.
"That plasma conduit is going to blow." Geordi warned and pointed to the seemingly intact wall, his voice distorted by the mask as he grabbed the man.
"Leave him, he's dead." Taryn told Reg as he went towards the body on the floor. "We need to get out." She pushed Reg hard, sending him flying out of the door at the sound of the conduit giving way and the emergency safety field engaged behind him and the door closed. She was thrown back and pinned against the console by the blast and then the super-energised gas hit her. For a moment it felt cool against her skin and then it ignited, vaporizing her instantly and melting the console.
"NO!" Reg screamed and frantically tried to reach her, tearing at the door controls. "I can get her out. Open the door?" he begged Data.
"It is too late." Data told him. "The compartment is flooded with ignited Warp Plasma. She is gone."
"It can't be too late, it can't…" Reg wailed as Geordi and Alyssa pulled him away from the door sobbing hopelessly.
…
"You did this!" Data hissed as he pushed Andrews against the wall gripping the front of his black jumpsuit.
"It wasn't me." he argued. "I had nothing to do with it. These things happen."
"Do you ever listen to yourself?" Geordi asked Andrews as Guinan entered the room.
"What's she doing here?" Andrews asked.
She shook her head, "You'd think in five hundred years he'd learn some manners."
"It hasn't been that long for me. I see you haven't learned to keep your nose out of my business." Andrews whimpered as Data shook him hard. "Just put me down and we'll talk about this like rational beings okay?" Data lowered him to the ground and took a step back. "Thank you, now we may be able to salvage the situation…"
"What? Reg is a wreck. He's sitting in Sickbay hugging his knees and rocking back and forth, he's been catatonic for days and you think we can salvage something from this?" Geordi asked incredulously. "You really are a piece of work."
"He'll get over it." Andrews told them. "He has to, it's his destiny."
"I don't think he's interested in destiny right now." Guinan advised the temporal agent.
"He's not interested in anything, the man is bereft." Geordi stated.
"You do not seem to grasp her importance." Data stated.
"I know exactly how important she is. They slam together like particles in a hadron collider and their lives are never the same after that point. She's his muse, she inspires him. That is her role in this and she always dies before him. Sometimes when she's young." Andrews stated.
"I do not accept that." Data argued.
"You have to. It's a Universal Constant." Andrews told him. "It's sad but unavoidable. You have to help him get through this."
"We will, but because he's our friend, not as part of your agenda." Geordi advised him.
"Just do what you can, remember the Federation is at stake here." Andrews stated and disappeared.
"Engineering to Commander Data."
"Data here." he replied.
"Holodeck 5 is sealed and we can't get in. It's drawing a lot of power and it's locked under Commander Barclay's ID."
"Commander La Forge and I will investigate Mr Ashby. Data out." he looked at Geordi. "Are you aware of any simulations he is running?"
Geordi shook his head. "No, we'd better try and ask him. Was there anything you needed Guinan?"
"Just, I have the feeling Andrews is surprised this happened." Guinan replied. "He didn't see this coming. He's improvising."
"Surely he could check his temporal observatory?" Data argued.
Geordi let out a low chuckle. "Haydn bumped into him at the Langham remember." Geordi said to Guinan.
"He stole it?" she asked.
"I wouldn't put it past him." Geordi replied. "He'd swipe anything that isn't nailed down."
Data's lip quirked. "I believe we should keep that to ourselves for now." he looked at Guinan. "What happened after the ambush at Waterloo Station?"
"I don't know. I wasn't able to find anything out. There was a clean-up operation. Your guys were all rounded up and everything got swept under the carpet. It was like you were never there apart from the dead Londoners and even their deaths were hushed up." Guinan explained. "I wish I knew."
…
"Reg? Reg?" Geordi asked his distraught friend who was sat on a biobed in the corner of Sickbay, his face pale and his eyes red. "I know it's not a good time, but have you left something running on Holodeck 5?"
"Holodeck 5?" Reg repeated, it was the first thing he'd said in over seventy hours. "Yes, I um. It's not official." he looked around suspiciously. "I'll go and shut it down." he stood up and walked stiffly towards the door.
"Can we come along?" Geordi asked indicating himself and Data and Reg nodded his assent.
"Computer, release the door. Access code Barclay Omega Three Six Pii." Reg said dejectedly.
"Access code accepted." The door hissed open.
"Finally," Taryn stated as she stepped down from the seat under the neural scan interface. "The door wouldn't open and the holodeck wouldn't accept my voice commands. I've been stuck in here for…Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost." she commented and rushed towards Reg.
"Stop." Data shouted as she reached the door and pulled out his tricorder. "Please back away?"
"What's wrong?" she asked with a frown as she complied and stepped back as he scanned her.
"Reg, what exactly were you doing in here?" Geordi asked as he looked at the readings Data was taking.
"We were trying to build a sentient hologram using Taryn's neural pattern as a basis." Reg replied blankly. "It didn't work. This is just a simulation that must have spawned from the raw data during EPS overload. Computer delete…"
"No, I remember being in Sensor Control, there were wounded crewmen. You three were there." she argued. "I'm not a program."
"You can't possibly remember that." Reg argued. "You can't be Taryn, she's dead. She was sprayed as vapour all through the…relay panel." he paused and raised his hand to his mouth. "The sensor relay panel." he repeated.
"I died?" she asked. "I can't have died, I'm here. I'm me."
"You are photonic." Data stated and handed her the tricorder.
"Oh God, what if…what if part of her got caught in the sensor relay and somehow she found enough of herself in the holographic buffer to fill in what was missing?" Reg asked.
"What the hell am I?" she asked Data plaintively. "I'm not even a normal hologram, look at these energy readings?" she asked pointing at the tricorder in her hand.
Reg took her by the shoulders and turned her to face him. "Is it really you?" he asked her earnestly.
"I don't know." Her eyes filled with tears. "I feel like me but the tricorder…" He pulled her close and held her tight.
"It's going to be okay." he whispered into her hair.
"We should check the sensor logs at the time of her death to see if there is any evidence of what happened." Data said to Geordi. Reg took Taryn by the hand and led her over to the console.
"What are you doing?" Geordi asked.
"I'm looking at her program." Reg replied. "Checking that she's stable. I'm not losing her again."
"Reg, we aren't even certain this is Taryn." Geordi argued.
"I'm certain." Reg said earnestly. "Look in her eyes. She's not just a simulation."
"Okay, you're the expert here Reg, you and Data investigate further and I'll tell the Captain." Geordi said tiredly.
"No you can't." Reg protested. "Starfleet can't know about this. They made the Captain hand over Moriarty and they'll do the same with her. They'll call her property and take her away and experiment on her just like they did with Data."
Data steered Geordi to one side. "Captain Picard told me we not only lost the hearing I was dismantled. He said he had to fight to get me back and it was you and Dr Crusher who finally reassembled me. I was almost tested to destruction by Maddox' experiment."
"Delete me." she sobbed. "I'm dead anyway. Maybe I am just a freak simulation."
"No, Taryn. I know this is hard but you can handle this. You have to. I need you." Reg told her earnestly.
"But I'm dead. Do I even have a soul anymore?" she wailed hysterically. "I shouldn't exist. Delete me?" she pleaded with Reg. "Please delete me? Or I'll find a way to delete myself." She sniffed and looked around the room. "Open the door for me? Open the door and let me step into the corridor?" She begged desperately. "I'm just a thing, not even that…I'm spurious code…let me leave? Please let me leave?"
"No, I can't…" Reg shook his head.
"Computer freeze program." Data stated and she stood still, gripping the front of Reg's uniform.
"I won't delete her and I'll kill anyone who tries." Reg stated. "We can't let her hurt herself."
"No we cannot delete her. Her outburst supports the theory it is indeed her." Data replied.
"But she can't handle it." Geordi stated.
"Maybe we can help her." Reg suggested, "Break it to her gently over time."
"But she already knows." Geordi argued.
"She's a hologram, I'll purge her memory." Reg stated. "Shut her down and I'll take her with me in my hand luggage when I leave. No one else has to know."
"Moriarty felt the passage of time while in memory. She may find it distressing." Data stated. "But I do have another suggestion."
…
"Good morning." Reg whispered as her eyelids fluttered open. "Did you sleep well?"
"Yes, but I had a weird dream." Taryn told him and stretched in the bed.
"What about?" he asked with a smile and stroked her cheek with his finger.
"It was dark and I couldn't move or feel my body. It seemed to go on for hours." she whispered.
"It was just a dream." Reg whispered. "Did you want some breakfast?"
"I'm not really hungry, but I should eat something really." she replied.
"Fennel tea and toast?" he suggested.
"Yes please." she replied with a smile. "I think I'll have a shower."
Reg got out of bed and walked across the room in his pyjamas, he went into the living room and picked up his combadge from the table as he headed for the replicator.
"Barclay to Data."
"Data here."
"She's aware of the time she was in memory, as we hoped she thinks it was a dream." Reg stated.
"Acknowledged."
"Who were you talking to?" she asked as she hugged him from behind in her bath robe.
"I was wangling the day off so I can spend more time with you." he said as he turned around and hugged her.
"That's nice." She smiled up at him. "I love you."
"I love you too." he replied and kissed her. "Maybe breakfast can wait a while." She giggled as he picked her up and carried her back to the bedroom.