Spirited Away: Wind and Sand
Notes: Okay, I have to admit that this chapter was rather quickly written and I normally don't get chapters out this fast. (Even if I would like to get chapters out this fast.) I had really made another serious kind of chapter, but I still like the content because it is essential main character development for the rest of the story. I am also happy to announce that there is more of Gaara in this chapter and he . . . kind of talks. Well what do you expect from Gaara, he only seems to talk more to people he knows like his siblings. Also, I am excited about my ideas for the next chapter, they are actually less serious since I got most of the serious things out in this and the first chapter. Enjoy!
Chapter 2: The Life of a Shinobi
The next day I woke up realizing that I hadn't eaten much since yesterday. It wasn't that they didn't offer me anything but that the food seemed really odd to me. I mean, desert food is nothing you would expect, I had something with lizard in it. I guess it wasn't that awful but the thought of it made me feel sick. This morning I had eaten something with rice and meat. I didn't dare ask what the meat was since I was starving and I really needed to eat something. Surprisingly I found that it wasn't bad but the meat stuff was a little slippery. I heard that they imported some foods like rice and noodles but not too much else since things have to survive a long journey through the desert.
My meals were brought to me which made me feel like I was some kind of prisoner especially when I had bars on my window. After I finished my breakfast I looked out the window to see people in the streets. Some were talking with each other, others looked like they were in a hurry and some kids were even chasing each other. The scene struck me as funny when I thought that I could see this kind of sight on the streets back home. I suddenly felt the weight of concern when I thought of home. What was my family doing now? Were they looking for me? Did I die in that world? What was happening there right now?
I thought of my own bed and the simple problems I dealt with there and of how I missed it already. I was getting so caught up with the problems I was having here that the ones I had before didn't seem like much. It was weird to have to deal with all these things on my own, it was like going away on a trip alone but I didn't know when I was going back. Thinking of it as a trip made it a little easier to bear since I really didn't know if I would actually ever be able to return home. Come to think of it, I didn't know how I got here in the first place.
I tried to go over the last things I remembered before coming here. I remember it was Saturday and I was going on a walk with my friends. We were walking along some trails in the woods and we weren't very deep in the woods or anything, it was just up some hills near a road. We stopped and ate some food near the top of a hill and then I don't remember much after that. It starts to get fuzzy, and the next thing I remember I am in the street at night with a light around me.
What happened before that? I tried to think of it but it just started to give me a headache.
"Hey there alien," I jumped and turned around to see Kankuro at the door.
"I'm not an alien," I glared at him.
"Could have fooled me," he responded but quickly changed the subject, "I'm here to tell you that you're going to start shinobi training today."
This news took me off guard, "What? Why?"
"If you really want to help us or be of use then the least you can do is learn what we're about," he said seriously, "But don't think it will be easy, it takes years to learn how to be a true shinobi."
Something didn't seem right, "Why would you train me? Wouldn't it seem like a waste of time? I'm not cut out to be any kind of ninja. I can't hurt anyone and I couldn't possibly," the words got caught in my throat as I thought of that night, "kill anyone."
Kankuro looked away from me and rubbed the back of his head, "Yeah, well."
I couldn't help thinking that this was an odd reaction. It was like he was trying to hide something.
He looked back at me and talked more casually, "Look, it's not like we are going to take you on any missions or anything. This training is strictly so you can protect yourself and know a little more about how things work around here. Understanding the way of a shinobi is understanding this village and its people. You're no use to us confused all the time or dead."
"I guess you're right," I couldn't argue that he had a point but thinking of me fighting someone was ridiculous, even if it was self defense.
I mean, I never had to fight anyone in my life and if I had to protect myself from someone that wanted to kill me I didn't know if I could do that. The mere thought of it made my stomach twist.
"You're actual training is going to have to wait until later but until then," he pulled out some papers and books from a pouch he had then held them out to me, "here."
I took them and looked them over for a second, "What are these?"
"Just a few concepts and things you should be familiar with. Takan told me you didn't have any of these things in your world. I thought they would help you understand things here a littler better. It's just a few basic things."
"A few basic things?" I looked at him like he was crazy, "This stack is three inches thick at least!"
He gave me an agitated expression, "I didn't know what you knew or not but if you want to be a clueless puppy then don't read them."
I knew he was trying to get on my nerves but I decided to be nice, "Thank you."
Turning my back to him, I then walked over and put the reading material on the small table in my room.
I heard him say, "Hmph, women," before he walked over to the door.
I opened one of the books and pretended I didn't hear that.
Just before he closed the door he commented, "Oh yeah, by the way, the one training you is Gaara."
He then closed the door at the same time I dropped the book on the desk. Gaara was going to train me?
The reading was actually more enjoyable than I thought. It must have been because every concept seemed like something I couldn't wait to try. Although, I knew in my heart that I still didn't believe these things existed. I know I had doubts about if I could even do any of these things. How could I gather chakra? I didn't even know if I had chakra. If I did, I defiantly didn't feel like I had any.
"Miss Aura," a woman opened my door and I turned around from my desk.
"Would you please stand up for a second," she said holding up a tape measure.
I didn't know what she wanted but decided to stand up anyway.
"No, over here," she said as she stepped to the middle of the room.
I walked over to her.
"Now hold up your arms," she casually commanded.
I did so but she then straightened my arms a little more then took measurements and even around my waist and other parts of my body.
"Um, what is this for?" I didn't quite get why she was measuring me.
"This is so we can find an outfit to fit you. It's important to have clothes that fit well when you are going to be doing any dangerous activity. You wouldn't want your clothes slowing you down or getting in the way," she explained.
I suppose I had never really thought about these things before. The careful choice of clothing, the education and training these people had to go through. I really wondered what kind of training I was going to be doing with Gaara. Why Gaara of all people? Wasn't he busy with his Kazekage duties?
The woman finished the measurements quickly and smiled.
"Oh I have the perfect outfit in mind for you," she said excitedly before leaving.
I wondered what she might have in mind, but before I had time to really think about it in too much detail, I saw a familiar face enter.
"Gaara?" I said in surprise.
There he was, standing in the entrance to my room. For one thing, I couldn't believe he actually came to my room to get me.
"Are you ready?" he asked in his same level voice as always.
"Um," I looked around kind of foolishly thinking that I might need something but I figured out that I really had nothing of my own here, "I guess I am."
"Come with me," he said as I followed him out the door.
I don't know why I felt so awkward following him around but somehow I felt like I had to say something. The only problem was I didn't know what to say to him at all. I didn't want to mention anything about his past because that probably would be out of line. I sighed as I gave into his silent guidance. Maybe it was better not to say anything.
He lead me to an area just outside of the village with wood posts where he then turned to me. We seemed to stand there for a while as I just stared at him. I wondered if his expression ever really changed.
"Do you know how to summon chakra?" he questioned calmly.
"Well," I felt a little embarrassed, "I read about it but I don't really know how to do that. I don't think I even have chakra."
He didn't say anything to this and kept staring at me. This silence thing was making me nervous. I was about to say something else but suddenly spikes of sand came at me at a high speed. I screamed and closed my eyes, putting up my hands to protect myself. I felt a strong wind sweep from behind me and everything stopped. I opened my eyes to see that the spikes of sand looked like they had been cut. The sand then fell back to the ground leaving me stunned as to what happened. I stared at Gaara wondering if he had done that. He seemed unmoved so it must have been him but why would he attack me?
"Did you feel it?" he asked.
"Huh? Feel what?" I didn't know what he was referring to.
"Your chakra . . . You seem to release it in when threatened," he stated, "Pay attention to the point when your chakra releases."
He lifted his arm as some small groups of sand lifted up with it. With a small movement of his hand, the sand turned into needles. I felt my heart skip a beat and my blood seemed to drain out of me. Maybe training with Gaara wasn't such a good thing. With a flick of his hand the needles came at me. I stared, stunned, as the barrage of sand needles come at me. I then felt it, the feeling I thought to be chakra. It was like a feeling of an electric water flow in my body. The flow exited my body naturally through my palms mostly, but seemed to exist randomly on my body. The wind would gusted from behind me and in a blink of an eye the needles were grains of sand again, blown upward. The feeling stopped as the sand rained down harmlessly.
He was staring at me and I knew what he was waiting for although I couldn't believe it myself, "I felt it, but I didn't do anything, it just happened on it's own."
"Learning to control your chakra is essential to using ninjutsu," he stated in his level voice, "Concentrate on summoning chakra then focus it to a certain area."
"Alright," I then tried to concentrate on that feeling I had before.
It was hard to find at first it but thinking of that electric smooth flow helped me notice it flowing through my body. I then thought of that flow and moving it to my hands but the best I could do was getting the electric flow in an area from my hands to my elbows.
"I think I might have it," I told him.
"Release it," he ordered.
I wasn't sure how to do this so I thought of letting it go but it only dispersed back into my body then I had to focus it again. I got frustrated when trying to release it and flung my arm out. That is when I realized that I released the energy as I felt the energy go hurling in Gaara's direction and I could only watch in helpless disbelief. I was about to yell when a wall of sand deflected the invisible attacks. The wall of sand fell again to the ground.
"The chakra distribution is erratic but practicing letting out a set amount of chakra should be your goal," he commented.
I was jubilant that I was able to get this far but what I didn't know is this was only the beginning and it was going to get a lot harder.
All afternoon I tried to focus chakra at certain levels, but after that I had to concentrate it in smaller and smaller areas, like the palms of my hands and then just at my fingertips. Although the hardest part I found was releasing a constant amount of chakra, especially in a small area. My arms started to feel a bit shaky and tired. Gaara had stepped away for a while, probably for some Kazekage business I'm sure so I kept at it on my own. I still wasn't quite getting it by the time the sun was staring to set and my fatigue in my arms was beginning to turn to pain. I couldn't believe how easy they made this look in the story.
For some reason I couldn't give up even with the pain. If every other ninja could do this then so could I. I didn't want to seem like a weakling in a place full of strong people. I released chakra at the pole once again only to miss. Not only was this hard to do but even my aim was off. I felt a little hopeless and fell to my knees. Who was I kidding? Even if I did master my chakra, what good is it going to do? It wasn't like I was going to become a ninja. The determination I had before was fading fast with my frustration.
I stood up and ran at the poll and punched it releasing some chakra as well. The chakra shredded a good chunk out of the poll. Even though it had cushioned my blow a little, the fact that I hit a solid wood poll coursed more pain through my arm.
As the tears welled up in my eyes I yelled what was really bothering me, "Why am I here?"
I knew this was the real question that bothered me deep inside. I missed home and didn't know why I was even here. I must have seemed so weak to these people. What could I really do in this world?
Holding my arm to my chest in pain I tried to stop the tears and wiped them away. I then got up and saw that Gaara was standing at a distance, watching me. How long had he been there? I felt embarrassed again in front of him. I looked away and heard him move from far away then all of a sudden he was near. Feeling kind of venerable at the moment, I got defensive and backed away when he came near.
I looked at him with what I am sure was a defensive glare but he held out one of his hands. I wasn't sure what he wanted so I stayed still. I felt a gentle pull on my arm and I looked down at it to see swirls of sand nudging my arm forward. So I moved my injured arm toward his where he held it. Only then did I notice that it was bleeding. He pulled out a small vile of something with a cloth and dampened it and rubbed it on the wound. At first I flinched because it hurt, then it felt cool and soothing.
Looking down at my hand he said, "You shouldn't push yourself too much on the first day."
He then put a small wrapping of bandages around it and let go of my hand but I stayed mesmerized. His face still hadn't changed which made me wonder what he was thinking this whole time. It's only at this moment that I realized that I was staring straight into his eyes which made me look away quickly.
"Come with me," he ordered as I looked up again and he was starting to walk away.
I knew that I didn't understand Gaara. He seemed to be honestly concerned and kind but had a strange way of showing it. He led me to a large hall where there were food vendors and it kind of reminded me a small food court at the mall except less flashy. There weren't too many people there but it was still lively enough. There were only about four different places to eat and Gaara had led me to one of them where a man greeted him with some surprise.
"Kazekage-sama, what brings you here today?" The man asked but Gaara then looked at me.
"Are you hungry?" he asked me.
"Oh no I-" but my stomach growled loudly.
What a coincidence.
The man behind the counter laughed, "Hold on."
Gaara sat down and I felt like I should as well. The man had motioned to one of his assistants who started preparing something I couldn't see very well from where I was sitting. After his assistant was done, he handed it to the man in front of me who finished it off by adding a few green things and eggs then offered the bowl to me. I held out my hands but they were shaking a bit from over use. I didn't know if I'd be able to hold the bowl but then Gaara had beat me to it and grabbed the bowl.
"Do you want another one?" the man asked and was about to motion to his assistant but Gaara interrupted.
"No," he then handed the man some money but he refused it.
"Oh no, it's on the house Kazekage-sama," but Gaara continued to stare at him while holding out the money and the man had got nervous and gave in.
"Thank you," he took the money and then Gaara placed the bowl in front of me.
I looked down at it and realized that this was ramen. I then looked back over at Gaara who was just watching me. I couldn't believe that Gaara had bought me ramen. It reminded me of when Naruto would go out and his sensei would buy him raman after training. I didn't know Naruto had that much of an impact on him. Gaara was doing what Naruto's sensei had done for him and it struck me as funny. I couldn't help the big smile creeping onto my face as I let out a little laughter.
"Thank you," I said happily.
I even thought I caught his expression softening a bit as if he was surprised and confused I was so happy about ramen. I then picked up some chopsticks and attempted to eat. I say I attempted since I hadn't used chopsticks much in my life and my hands were still a little shaky. I can say that it must have looked very odd to watch me eat and I know the ramen man was looking at me strangely. Even if I had trouble getting it to my mouth I really did enjoy the flavors.
I looked back over to Gaara to see he was just watching me. I guess he found the way I was eating strange too.
"Ummm," I stopped eating because I felt I needed to say something to break up the stares.
"Aren't you hungry?" I asked Gaara.
He kept his cool expression, "No, I'm fine."
"Oh," I said a little disappointed since I had never seen him eat before.
I finished up my ramen and thanked Gaara again. We got up and I followed him once again but this time I tried to stay beside him instead of behind.
I wanted to make a conversation, "So, how was your day?"
Oh yeah, that was a nice question. It seemed kind of cliché but it was all I could think of.
He looked over at me only with his eyes but kept walking, "Fine."
"What did you do today?" I wanted to get more than a few words out of him.
"I can't say," he said looking away again.
"Oh, is it confidential or something?" he just kept walking without a word.
"Okay well I know you trained me today and brought me out to eat. What did you do this morning before you came to get me? Anything that you can tell me?" I was determined to get him to talk.
This time he turned his head toward me more, "A funeral."
"I'm sorry," I looked away as things just got awkward again.
A funeral wasn't a good topic to go off of. He really backed this conversation into a corner.
"You're," I looked back at him when I heard his confused sounding voice, "sorry?"
"Yeah, I'm sorry to hear about your loss. It must be sad to have someone die. Did you know that person well?" I asked with concern.
He seemed thoughtful, "They were shinobi of the Sand."
I had figured that this meant they worked together and there was actually more than one person who died. This information made something tug in the back of my mind. Why did it seem familiar?
I stopped in my tracks, shocked, "Do you mean those people from that night?"
He stopped just ahead of me and half turned to look back at me. He didn't have to say anything for me to know I was right. This made me feel a lot worse about the subject since I had saw most of them die before my eyes.
"They died as shinobi," he simply said.
Was this really all there was to the life of a shinobi? They train and go through all sorts of physical pain and then endure the pain of death all around them. To me the death of those people was a deep blow, even if I didn't know them. Just watching them die made me feel sick and hurt. What kind of world was this?
"Is this all there is to a shinobi's life? Death and pain?" I asked out loud.
It was silent for a while and I felt like what I asked was right and just as I felt my eyes start to sting with tears he said, "No."
I looked up at him perplexed.
He was looking out of one of the windows near him, "A shinobi's life is filled with pain but there is much more."
I watched him in wonder as the last rays of the sunset burned a hard light on him. His red hair and outfit made him look like a bright and gentle flame.
"There is determination, dreams, joy and friends to share them with. The bonds between our comrades and allies allow us to accomplish our goals together. A shinobi lives to protect something important," he said still staring out to the setting sun.
To me he seemed like a beacon of hope. I had only concentrated on the worst sides of the situations I had been in so far, but I failed to see this place and even him for what they really were. Gaara had been through so much more than I ever had and here I was getting emotional over everything. This place was harsh but beyond that rough exterior there was a diamond.
I smiled softly as I felt something warm in my heart. No wonder he was promoted to Kazekage. He looked over at me as the rays of sun started to disappear and gave way to the night but in my mind he was still bright. He then turned and continued to walk onward.
I knew what I had to do now. I had to stop thinking as an outsider and be a part of this world. Even if I missed home I needed to walk onward too. Even if I didn't know my purpose here I would find it. I needed to be strong and start to a live like a true shinobi so that one day I might shine bright too.
I took a deep breath and then stepped forward to follow a beacon of hope.
Notes: I had a hard time writing the last part of this chapter. The emotions and feelings I wanted to get across were hard to write out so I am hoping I don't have to revise this chapter later. Also, you can imagine that this girl really has a tendency for giving up and getting emotional too quick, but I wrote this out to give her a reason to be strong and to work for a purpose. I wanted her to realize that being a shinobi is more that just the fights. She was so used to the simple problems people have here, problems that usually only apply a few people, but in the shinobi world and especially for the Kazekage, the problems were on a much larger scale with people from all over involved. In that kind of world people need to stay strong and do their best not to lose their selves and hold fast to their ideals, dreams and compassion for others. I still don't know if I can get exactly what I want to say across but knowing that this person, that was real had overcome so much then she could too and hopefully become someone with the same light. Although I have to admit that the light Gaara got was from Naruto originally, he had a way of getting to people. Anyway, I'll have things that are more fun in the next chapter so everything isn't always so serious all the time. A little more comic relief in the next chapter I promise.