A/N: We're getting closer and closer to the conclusion of this on-running fanfic (which, admittedly has become the bane of my writing life) - finally! This chapter was longer than I had originally anticipated but now that V is back, let's see what happens. This chapter is more focused on V's absence. Please let me know your thoughts.

Ciphertext - Chapter 31: V's Story

Luciel watched in disbelief as V just brushed past him and entered the kitchen so nonchalantly. "So … you're just going to waltz in here and pretend like everything's okay? You think you can revert back to your old life at the flick of a switch?"

"That's not what I-" V tried to defend himself, a little feebly.

"You know what? It's already been six months since you disappeared from the RFA. Why would it make any difference if you returned today or next year … or never?"

Choosing to ignore Luciel's hurt response, V placed his sunglasses down on the kitchen counter and cast his eyes over the place. "This was Rika and my apartment, so I should be really more surprised to see you, especially looking like that." Luciel assumed he was referring to the stark change in his appearance. "What are you doing here?" There was a sense of mistrust in his voice, and it seemed like V was just trying to avoid talking about himself.

"It's a long story," admitted Luciel fidgeting with the button on his shirt. "But nothing I shouldn't be doing."

"Hmm …" V sounded a little suspicious. After all, he knew the kinds of exploits the hacker was capable of. Opening one of the higher cupboards, he produced a brown paper bag with something inside and placed it on the table. "Well, I just happen to have time to listen to your long story." He took a bottle of whisky from the bag and unscrewed the cap. "Sit down. Let's talk."

Luciel sneered at him. "The first thing you want to do is drink, huh? I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you have a secret stash." V set out two tumblers, filled up one of them and started to pour whisky into the other too, but Luciel placed his hand over the top to block him. "No. I'll talk to you sober."

"Very well, but would you at least take a seat?" said V, motioning to the other side of the table.

Reluctantly, Luciel sat down opposite V, arms crossed, eyes averted. A long, drawn-out silence descended and neither of them knew where to begin.

"So …" V took a sip of his whisky, waiting for the right moment to ask the obvious question. "Who's in the bathroom?"

"My girlfriend, Eun-ji."

V coughed. "Your girlfriend? Since when did you have any interest in that kind of thing?"

That kind of thing!? She isn't a hobby!

Scowling, Luciel gave in and responded to V's slightly offensive insinuation. "It's not like I wasn't interested in dating, it's just that my boss had all these ridiculous security measures in place. I couldn't have even approached a girl in the street to ask for directions without the agency doing a detailed background check on her. But surely, that doesn't come as a surprise to you." He looked dejectedly at the floor.

"So, what changed?" V asked, swirling his whisky around in the glass.

"By some cruel twist of fate, I was finally able to meet properly with Eun-ji. I'd seen her at Starbucks several times. We didn't start things off too smoothly though. In fact, she was kidnapped, brought to this apartment and somehow given an RFA messenger profile. We still don't know who was behind it. Anyway, things happened and now … we're … together. It's all been a bit of a whirlwind but I'm happier than I've been in a long time."

V's eyes widened. "Wow. I guess I really did miss a lot."

"Yeah, you did," noted Luciel, sounding a little depressed. "It would have been helpful to have you around."

"I want to apologise to you all, but I just know that disappearing was the right thing to do."

"What!?" Luciel couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Why would that be a good thing? You're the head of the RFA and with everything that's happened recently, your guidance really wouldn't have gone amiss. If you'd at least contacted us …"

"I got a new number. It just made things easier. Actually, I phoned Jumin the other day. He said you'd been targeted by someone."

"You spoke to Jumin!? He never mentioned anything to us."

"No, because I told him not to."

"Why?"

"I have my reasons."

Luciel huffed at his lacklustre response. "Fine, whatever. As for the person who was targeting me, it was actually my most elusive boss. He was trying to get me to participate in some political hacking bullshit. Turns out he was someone we both knew quite well in the past."

"Someone … we both knew?" V wondered aloud.

Luciel straightened up and clasped his hands together on the table. "Tom Park. You remember him from when we used to live in Busan, right?"

V felt sick all of a sudden and pressed a hand over his mouth in an effort to keep himself from vomiting. His face had turned noticeably pale.

"V?" Luciel tried to meet the man's trembling eyes. "You don't look so good. Is it the whisky?" he asked, knowing full well that the whisky wasn't the problem.

"Th-that guy … all he ever did was cause trouble."

"What are you talking about?"

V buried his head in his hands and rubbed his temples in frustration. There was a long pause before he spoke again. "I was involved in a development project for a game company called Cheritz …"

"Wait! Did you just say … Cheritz!?"

"Yeah. You know them?"

"Well, not exactly but … when I tracked the information from the hacked RFA back to the original source, Cheritz came up. So I looked in their records and they were completely clean. No history of anything illicit or suspicious at all."

"But Tom was the one who hacked into the messenger?"

"Yeah. Looks like he was trying to hide his identity that way. I soon realised my boss was trying to target me specifically, but I would never have suspected it to be Tom, not in a million years. He's too distant from us now."

V's complexion paled even more, a horrid realisation dawning upon him. "What if …." He began, but stopped himself as he realised that spilling the truth could just lead to more hatred.

Luciel waited for him to continue. "What if ….?"

"Never mind. It's nothing."

"No. Tell me V. We shouldn't have any more secrets between us when things have gone this far."

V let out a deep sigh and cupped his face in his hands. "What if … it wasn't actually you he was targeting?"

"But there's no question, he was after me. I'm sure of it. He even stole Eun-ji just to force me to go and meet him. What other explanation is there?"

"…"

There was no answer.

"I don't like this awkward silence, V. If you know something just-"

V took a gulp of his whisky. "We were … having private meetings." He looked especially troubled as he admitted this.

Luciel stood up, pushed his chair backwards and started pacing around the kitchen, trying to understand what his friend had just told him. It was obvious he wasn't just talking about any kind of meeting. It had to be sexual. He groaned and ruffled his hair as he struggled with the pure confusion of it all. There were just no words to express what was running through his mind.

Knowing that this news wasn't anywhere near what Luciel had expected to hear, V opened his mouth to try and clear things up. "Luciel, I-"

"How long?"

"What?"

"How long had things been going on between you?"

V held the whisky glass down onto the table as though it might jump off at any second, gripping it tightly with both hands. He pressed his fingers harder and harder around the shape of the glass until tiny cracks started to form at the edges. He gritted his teeth, trying desperately to hold back his deep, repressed anger and hung his head in despair.

"V!?"

"Please don't make me answer that question Luciel."

"Just tell me!"

"You're not going to like what I tell you."

Luciel gave a dissatisfied laugh. "I probably won't, but you sure as hell need to be honest with me right now."

"Two years," replied V, as bluntly as he could manage. "We were meeting once a week, and …" he decided not to dig up the graphic details. "I-it was two years."

"TWO YEARS!?"

"Yeah …" V sounded extremely resentful.

"So … are you … I mean … do you like men?" He never thought he'd need to ask V this question.

V rubbed his arm in a display of obvious discomfort. "No."

"You're not gay? Then … why? Just tell me so I can understand."

Taking a deep breath, V started to shiver a little. "I can't even begin to verbalise it. I can't-"

Luciel was furious. He just wanted a straightforward response and grabbed V by the collar of his shirt roughly. "What is there to verbalise, V? Just tell me why the fuck you felt inclined to sleep with Tom for two years, whilst married to Rika if you're not even gay!"

V flinched and looked up at Luciel who was now towering over him, seething. "I didn't … feel inclined to do it."

Luciel didn't like the hesitant tone he was using as he said this. "Explain to me clearly what you're talking about."

"I wasn't … exactly forced but …"

"Are you telling me he raped you!?"

"NO!" V protested, to try and counteract Luciel's sudden outburst. He pushed the hacker's hands away and patted down his shirt. "No … I wouldn't say it was rape. It's just that … he had an agenda, and if I didn't agree to his conditions, Rika would-" He started to sob. "God, I wish it had never happened this way."

Luciel needed more answers. "I need to ask. Did you ever willingly engage in sexual activities with Tom? Anything that would have given him the impression you were interested in him in that way?"

V's stomach was churning with regret as he continued to sob, the bitter tears flowing into his whisky glass. "Y-yes."

"Wha-? But you said …"

"I was only really willing to do it the first time. We'd been out drinking together in the city. I hadn't seen him in more than ten years. We were talking about the old times in Busan and I don't know, we just had this … mutual attraction. One thing led to another and … you know how these things end up … it just happened. I didn't even really try to rationalise the situation at the time. It wasn't bad, the sex. I thought I'd be able to put it down to a drunken mistake and forget about the whole thing in the morning."

"You couldn't forget about him?"

"I could have done. Probably. It would have been easy to me to go back to Rika and pretend nothing ever happened." His gaze drifted towards his lap, as though by instinct. "But it was Tom who got hung up on me. He wanted my body. He craved me so much after that first night together that wouldn't let me go. Each time, we would meet for at least one hour and do whatever he wanted. I couldn't help the way my body reacted to his touching me. He was extremely skilled in seduction."

"I don't get it. If you didn't feel the same way about him, why would you keep going back for more?"

V "I did it for no other reason than to save Rika, and for the RFA."

Luciel sat down opposite V once again and handed him a tissue. "So then, you were technically blackmailed by Tom?"

"I … guess so," stated V meekly, as he accepted the tissue with a grateful nod of the head. "I was given an ultimatum. Do what he asked, or Rika would be killed outright."

Although it was certainly an odd situation, Luciel seemed to understand. "Rika was sick. You would have done anything to make her better, and keep the organisation you started together running. Right? Isn't that a totally normal reaction?"

"I wanted Rika to get better. But ultimately her death was still my fault. I can't forgive myself for what happened to her."

"Why are you blaming yourself? You made a mistake and Tom used that to take advantage of you. That's all there is to it. You did nothing wrong."

"Well, no. In exchange for the sexual favours, Tom paid all of her medical expenses for at least a year, after the insurance money stopped coming. She was making good progress with her recovery and Yoosung was so happy to see her smiling again, at least for that short time."

"Yeah, I remember talking to him on the phone after visiting her in hospital once. He seemed more hopeful about life," Luciel reminisced. "Isn't that a good thing? I mean, it's awful that you were being blackmailed, but despite that you still managed to make the people around you smile again."

"No. It wasn't a positive thing at all. I became too selfish. I saw how well everything was going on the outside but I felt sick, like this glossy medical drama couldn't possibly have a good ending. If Rika survived, Tom would have found new ways to break me. If she discovered our little secret, she wouldn't have been able to take it. I didn't want to lose her like that."

"And?"

"My body just felt so dirty, so damn tainted …" V hugged himself, as though he was trying to protect what little dignity he had left. "So one day I just decided to run away … so far away that I couldn't be traced by him. I moved around from country to country, keeping my trail as invisible as possible. Rika was left behind, just waiting for me to go and visit her. I knew Tom would be angry with me. I knew it wouldn't be long before he kept up his side of the deal, but I just wanted to be alone to contemplate what I'd done. I didn't want to be near the hospital; the smell, the nurses, the doctors, the prospect of bitter disappointment. Looking Rika in the eye after doing the things I'd done was just unthinkable. After just a few days of being out of contact with Tom, he cut off payments for the treatment and her health deteriorated quickly." He paused for a moment to collect his thoughts again. "By the time I returned, she was already dead. He didn't have her killed right away like he threatened to, but this way was much worse – she suffered slowly and painfully. It was all my fault."

"V …" Luciel felt anger bubbling up inside him, but he bit his lip to try and contain himself. "You know Yoosung was extremely upset that you didn't attend her funeral. No, we all were. She was your wife, it wasn't normal that you weren't there."

V trembled viciously. "I-I …. How could I bring myself to face you all, with such a heavy shadow hanging over me? I had basically been selling myself to cover those hospital fees, and for what? To stand there, at the lectern, just feet away from where she lay, and make a speech about how much I missed her. My words would have been nothing more than a fabrication of sentiment. Such a bittersweet lie."

Luciel was torn between his feelings of empathy and hate towards V. It was tearing him apart. They had known one another for many years and had shared so much. Even after his long absence, this new side of V was different from usual. V had been the most trustworthy member of the RFA; everyone felt that they could approach him with their problems. His advice always rang true, no matter what the issue. V was like a father figure in so many ways, but now that image was beating down on Luciel like a thunderstorm.

The bathroom door finally clunked open and Eun-ji waded out with only a small white towel wrapped around her, drops of water falling from the strands of her hair onto the floorboards. She jumped backwards a little as she noticed the visitor sitting opposite Luciel in the kitchen and clutched her towel closer to her body instinctively. Luciel didn't look over at her, but just continued to stare blankly ahead, seemingly devoid of any emotion. It was an expression that Eun-ji knew all too well even in the short time they'd spent together. Something wasn't right.

"Saeyoung …" she tried. "Who is this man?"

Both V and Luciel turned around to see Eun-ji standing in the doorway half naked.

"Not the pizza delivery guy," said Luciel, stating the obvious. He found himself momentarily getting lost in the way the water was dripping down her bare legs temptingly, but then quickly averted his gaze. It was neither the time nor place to contemplate how sexy she looked like that. "Could you … uh … put something on please?"

Eun-ji reddened as the reality of the situation dawned on her. "Oh … " She bowed in V's direction apologetically. "I-I'm sorry, sir. Let me go and get changed."

With that, she darted into the bedroom and threw on some clean clothes. On the way out, the photograph of Rika with the turquoise-haired man on holiday caught her eye again. Even with his sunglasses on, he had the same shape face. It was clear he and the visitor were one and the same person.

She re-appeared in the kitchen and stood sheepishly in the doorway, fiddling with the sleeves of the top she was wearing. V looked up at her.

"Are those … my wife's clothes?" he said.

Eun-ji didn't know how to respond and she felt awkward all of a sudden being in the presence of someone else who knew Rika, much more intimately than the rest. "I … um." She tried to form the words, but got tongue-tied very quickly.

V let out a soft chuckle. "It's okay. I was just a little surprised to see someone else wearing them, that's all."

"I'm sorry. If it's too much, I can go and take them off," she suggested.

"Don't. They look much better on you anyway. When she wore them, they just seemed so fake and frivolous."

Luciel balked. "Really? You would say that about your own wife?" He looked angry. "Did you even care about Rika one iota?"

"Hey …" V began. "Of course … I cared about her."

"In what way? Because I'm having a hard time taking your side on this right now."

"I cared enough to try and take care of her medical expenses."

"Yeah, but you were too much of a coward to ask for our help? What about Jumin's assistance? Why couldn't you have just done that? I'm sure you wouldn't have had to pay it back. It was for Rika's sake after all. We all wanted her to get better."

"Jumin …" V began. "Why would I ask for his help?"

"Why wouldn't you? He's one of your oldest friends."

"He told me … a long time ago, that if I went ahead and married Rika … he would never help me out financially, no matter what the situation. So we made a promise."

"What!? Why would he say something like that?"

"Jealousy …. Probably."

"But Jumin is …" Luciel wondered whether it was the best time to bring this up, but given everything else he'd just heard, he really couldn't care less. "Jumin is gay. It doesn't make sense that he'd be jealous of your relationship with Rika."

"…"

These moments of silence and hesitation really put Luciel on edge. "V. Don't make me dig for information here. Just tell me what you mean by that."

"I know Jumin is gay."

"How long have you known?"

"Quite a while."

"Specifically?"

"Ten years."

Luciel was shocked. "WHAT? Then why has he been keeping it a secret from us? It's not like it's a big deal if he likes men or women."

"Of course he would keep that information private. He's the Heir to a huge corporation. The last thing he needs is a scandal that could hinder his succession. His father would disown him and his fortune would be lost. If you're born into, you've got to nurture it."

"So why … would he be harbouring jealousy towards you?"

"Not towards me … towards Rika."

Luciel knew where this was heading, but he just needed to be sure. "You're saying that you … and Jumin-?"

V nodded glumly. Now he really felt like his life was over.

"I don't believe this! I thought you weren't into guys!"

"It was just once, but I was the one who urged him not to let people know about his sexuality. For me, it was just experimental, but for him … that experience was a confirmation of what he already knew. Jumin is such a calm man. It's difficult to tell what he's thinking, but I knew that every time he pretended not to be interested in what Rika and I were doing, inside his heart was probably crumbling little by little. I knew we couldn't be together, and in all honesty I wasn't interested in a long-term relationship with a man or Jumin, who I'd known for years. I wasn't gay. I'm not gay now, but sometimes I really question where my desires lie."

Luciel forced a laugh, breaking the tension a little. "It's not uncommon to be attracted to both men and women you know. Hell, even I can be attracted to men sometimes." That was the first time he'd said that to anyone.

Upon hearing this, Eun-ji nearly dropped her tea cup onto the floor, but managed to catch it with one hand. Her reflexes could be pretty snappy at times like these.

Noting the perplexed look plastered all over her face, Luciel sought to reassure her. "Ah, don't worry sweetie. I guess I never even thought to mention it, but you know, none of that even comes into the equation now that we're together." He walked over to her, wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck tenderly.

Smiling back at him, Eun-ji turned to face him and stroked his soft red hair. "Saeyoung. That information isn't important to me right now. Please … just sort this out with V. I can't stand the atmosphere in here."

V stood up. "She's right. We can't afford to leave anything unspoken from now on, Luciel. After all, I've got to protect you all. You're more like family to me than my own relatives. Please believe me when I say that I truly did love Rika, but I was just too weak to save her. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't regret how things ended for her. But the past is the past. We have to move forward. That's why I came back."

Luciel sighed and approached V, extending his hand though he looked hesitant to engage in a handshake.

"What's this?" said V, looking down in surprise at Luciel's hand.

"As a religious man, it's just part of my DNA to believe that every sin should be forgiven and that everyone deserves a second chance. Of course, I can't guarantee the others will feel the same way, but I have to trust that you will make up for being away for so long."

V took Luciel's hand and squeezed it firmly as a sign of his dedication. "Fine. I'll accept any punishment you want to throw at me. But know that I am truly sorry for everything and that my time away has given me a chance to reflect on what the RFA really stands for. You guys can stay here tonight. I've already arranged to stay at a hotel." He slid across the threshold and inched towards the front door. "We should all meet together, face-to-face, so I can explain things properly."

"Yeah. Let's do that." Luciel seemed satisfied with V's words. "You should explain things properly to Yoosung. He will have the hardest time accepting what you've told me."

V nodded slowly, saying nothing as he slipped on his sunglasses and left the apartment.

Eun-ji smiled awkwardly. She was still technically an outsider to the group, having accidentally wound up as a member of their organisation. She had grown close to Luciel and he had unwittingly been her inroad to the RFA. He was the only reason she ever woken up in Rika's apartment to begin with. Listening to their conversation and understanding how deep the blood ran scared her. At the same time, she couldn't help but feel intrigued by it.

She wanted to explore these wounds and make them hers too.