Hello everyone. We're still nearing the conclusion, I promise. This chapter has a bit of a reveal that might make or break your personal impression of Eun-ji. However, remember that this is technically an AU, so it's not supposed to follow the story in any case. I wanted to add a twist to Ciphertext that celebrates everyone's uniqueness, no matter who they are. I'm all for that.

Ciphertext – Chapter 32: Flip-side

The next morning, Luciel and Eun-ji woke up early, gathered the few possessions they had at Rika's apartment, and headed back across the city to Luciel's place. Now that V had returned, there was no reason for the two of them to be hanging around there. The place was just a little too cramped for three people. Luciel had no doubt that he probably had an awful lot of paperwork to catch up on. The pile of bills that had accumulated during his absence was frightening. Luciel was both surprised and relieved that the debt collectors hadn't come around while Eun-ji was stuck there. That would have been an awkward situation to explain.

On the way home, Luciel put on some music to make the time pass quicker. He rarely drove his Spyder with passengers in tow. It only just occurred to him that it was the first time he'd willingly let someone enter his car without saddling them with a long list of dos and don'ts. In Eun-ji's case, there were plenty of exceptions to be made. If anything he was just happy to be driving together with her, knowing she was safely beside him now.

The sunrise looked strangely beautiful on that morning, like a giant split egg yolk ascending upon the city. They meandered at a steady pace through the city streets with Enya's "Even in the Shadows" playing softly. It seemed like such a perfect accompaniment to the scenery that was surrounding them.

Even in the silence

I hear my heart

It's still a part of you

And even in the morning

When light has come

I don't know what to do

"This is a beautiful song," said Eun-ji, staring at Luciel as the sun cast itself over his face. "It's Enya, isn't it?"

Although his focus was on the road, he couldn't help but turn slightly to look back at her. He was surprised. "You know her music?"

She nodded. "I'd recognise that voice anywhere. She sounds just like an angel."

"As you know, I don't really speak much English. Honestly, I'm shocked I have never needed to use it for work. Still, I've memorised all the lyrics to the songs that I enjoy. This album usually helps me get to sleep when I'm alone, but I also listen to it when I want to calm myself down."

"So, are you trying to calm yourself down right now?" Eun-ji asked, cocking her head to one side cutely.

Luciel turned a little red and cracked the driver's side window open a notch to let some air filter through. "Well, not exactly but it is kind of exciting letting someone else into my car." He laughed a little. "Also maybe I'm just nervous about showing you my home."

Eun-ji giggled quietly. "Is it really that much of a mess?"

"Ah, no. I didn't mean from that point of view." She gave him an unconvinced look. He gave in. "Well, okay there may be a few empty Honey Buddha Chip packets lying around here and there, but it's more that there's a lot of embarrassing stuff around the place."

"Embarrassing stuff?" Eun-ji echoed. "Like what, porn magazines? That's totally normal."

"Eh? You're full of questions this morning, aren't you?" he replied, smirking as he thought about it. "You'll find out when we get there. It will probably mean nothing to you anyway. Don't expect too much."

She shook her head. "Oh? But I'm definitely interested to see whatever it is you're hiding. That's part of your charm after all – that ever-present sense of mystery." After everything she'd been through over the past few days, Eun-ji felt pretty confident in her ability to not freak out. Still, she was innately curious about what he classed as 'embarrassing stuff'.

Luciel wanted to clear one thing up. "Sorry to dash your hopes, but it's not a stash of dirty magazines." He stopped at a red light and turned to face Eun-ji. She appeared to be lost in thought.

"Hmm. Is that right?" Eun-ji sounded doubtful. "Well then I'm going to have to keep guessing until we get there." Not that it really mattered too much to her what his secret hobbies were, it was fun to taunt him a little since she was determined to figure it out before they arrived.

What kind of things would Saeyoung be embarrassed about keeping?

Her intent gaze was fixed on him for so long, he knew she was just trying to scrutinise him for clarification without needing to ask any direct questions.

"Why are you looking at me like that? I REALLY don't have any porn!" he asserted, giving a brief simultaneous cough and laugh. "I know I've been involved in a lot of dangerous things for my job, but owning or distributing that stuff is illegal in this country. It's just not worth the risk."

Eun-ji believed him, but it was giving her pleasure watching him wonder what conclusions she was jumping to inside her own mind.

Luciel felt nervous and gripped the steering wheel a little harder as he focused his attention fully on the road. "Don't think about it too hard sweetie. You'll be wondering why you were ever curious when you find out what it is. It's just … how should I say … unconventional?" He paused for a moment. "Anyway, don't you have any embarrassing secrets of your own?"

She cast her gaze down and studied her feet that were resting on the pristine car mat beneath. The atmosphere grew tense. She could feel tears quickly welling up behind her eyes.

"Eun-ji? Are you alright?" It was clear that Luciel's question had unexpectedly touched a nerve. "Did I say something wrong?"

Clutching onto her skirt with both hands, her vision blurred and wet clustered splashes soaked through the material. She started to sniffle as the sudden onslaught of emotion caught up with her.

"Hey …" he sighed and tried again. "If you're still feeling guilty about anything, you don't have to. I thought we had moved on from that already."

"Th-that's not it …" Eun-ji tried, not wanting to involve him in her problems.

"I'm going to pull over so we can talk this through properly."

"N-no Saeyoung, it's okay. Keep driving." Eun-ji attempted to wipe her eyes but it felt as though the tears were beyond her control. "We can talk when we get to your place."

"We're still a good distance away. I'm pulling over." Luciel wasn't going to let this go.

Finding a safe place to stop, Luciel pulled the Porsche in the car park of a medium-sized supermarket and turned off the engine.

"I won't move off until I hear what's on your mind," he confirmed.

Eun-ji already felt a little better just knowing that Luciel cared enough to try and understand her feelings. But she was unsure what kind of approach to take. She couldn't just dismiss her secrets as being simply 'embarrassing' pieces of information. Truthfully, she had been meaning to talk to Luciel about it before, but the timing never seemed to be right.

She caught herself spacing out and jolted in her seat as she did.

"Eun-ji?"

"Y-yes." She brought her skirt up to her face and started to wipe away the tears that were clinging to the corners of her eyes. Luciel reached into the glove compartment, took out a pack of pocket tissues and extended them to her. "I'm sorry," she said, ruefully taking the pack from his hand.

"I'm pretty sure crying isn't a crime, so please stop apologising to me." Unbuckling his seatbelt, he shuffled a little towards the passenger seat and ran his fingers through Eun-ji's hair. He leant inwards so he could smell the shampoo she'd used that morning. It gave off a pleasant fruity aroma which he liked. "Look at me," he said.

She raised her head and stared longingly at his face, the glinting wet hazel pools reflecting his concerned expression back at him.

"Tell me what it is that's bothering you. After all, you know more than anyone else does about me. I want to help you Eun-ji. So please …"

It was going to be feeble to turn down his request. He knew something was wrong and she was doing a terrible job of hiding it from him. "There's a reason I haven't told you about my family or friends. I'm sure you've been wondering about them all this time."

Sure. It's just natural that I was curious about her life, but I was never going to force her to talk about it. I guess now might be the right time.

"Go on," he said, taking a small gulp to clear his throat. "Say as little or as much as you want to."

"Actually, the truth is …" began Eun-ji, her words slightly shaky. "My family and friends have nothing to do with me anymore. I don't really have a place to go back to."

"What!?" Luciel couldn't believe that anything she would do would warrant that kind of reaction from the people she cared about, or anyone for that matter.

Feeling nervous, Eun-ji broke eye contact with Luciel. "I-I haven't been entirely honest about who I am. There's something you should know about me."

Luciel felt his heart beating with anticipation. What kind of bombshell was she about to drop? Or would it be something so trivial that he wouldn't even bat an eyelid about it? He nodded for her to continue.

"I-I was born as a guy," Eun-ji began, rubbing her arm in an effort to comfort herself. "I underwent gender reassignment surgery as soon as I was able to. I took to it pretty fast and my body adapted at a faster rate than usual. My previous name was Ji-ho Moon." She paused and stared at Luciel, waiting for him to say something. Any response would do, but silence wasn't what she needed to hear. "I suppose you're repulsed? It's okay … I'm used to it."

"No," he said, a little too impulsively for her liking. "You're so beautiful just the way you are."

Her eyes widened. "What?"

"I said you're beautiful, inside and outside."

Looking bashful, she looked away. "It doesn't even bother you one bit that I used to be a guy?"

"Why should it?"

"Well, I mean …"

"You heard what I said to V yesterday, right? As it happens I'm actually interested in both."

"But this is-"

Luciel put his hands on her shoulders. "It doesn't change anything for me. I just see someone I can connect with on a deep level, and I want to hold onto that. It's like you contain some kind of electrical charge that just keeps spurring me on."

"S-Saeyoung." Eun-ji reached out and took off his glasses, studying the depths of his golden eyes. They looked sincerer than ever. "You're such an interesting guy, but I'm lucky to have met you."

He laughed. "I'm seriously open-minded. So don't feel like you have to keep these things to yourself anymore, okay?" He beamed her a reassuring smile.

Eun-ji said nothing, but showed her gratitude through a single nod of the head.

"Let's go home."

"Then we can finally have pizza?"

"Heh. That's what I'm talking about!"

Actual pizza to follow