Chapter 10

Lily was taken to the Ministry of Magic with Severus, but while she was ordered to wait in the waiting room outside the Aurors' Department, he was taken downward in the golden, standing erect and blank faced between the Aurors who held him.

Lily spent the next few hours attacking anyone who came through in an attempt to explain to someone that she was guilty and not Severus. No one would listen. At some point Dumbledore himself got out of the elevator and crossed the corridor with a stride, accompanied by Aurors, and he didn't even look at Lily as she called out to him.

Tears of anger and frustration filled her eyes. A few moments later Slughorn appeared, panting and red- faced, and walked over to Lily as soon as he saw her. She was relieved that at least he was paying her attention. She and Severus were his two favorite students, maybe he would be willing to listen to the truth.

"Miss Evans," he said softly between his heavy breaths. "What are you doing here?"

"Professor, Severus didn't do it," she said at once. "It happened at my sister's house. It was me, I did that magic – "

"Slowly, Miss Evans, start from – what is Mr. Potter doing here?"

Lily turned to see Potter and Mrs. Chambers walking toward them. She hadn't even considered that Mrs. Chambers was expecting her return. She wore a scarlet robe and a matching hat and walked with characteristic vigor; Lily tried to asses from a distance the depth of her anger. But to her astonishment the first thing she did was to hug her.

"Thank Merlin, I was so worried when you didn't return home for dinner," the housekeeper said against her shoulder with pure relief.

"How did you find me?" Lily asked, looking between her and Potter.

"My dad had a lot of friends in the Department," Potter said, remarkably calm in compered to Mrs. Chambers, though a wrinkle had appeared between his eyes. "When you didn't come back I started sending owls to ask if anyone had heard anything. They wrote me that a wizard used magic in front of an entire Muggle street and that there was a redhead girl with him. I knew it had to be you."

He smiled at her and she returned it weakly. Somehow his presence managed to calm her a little.

"Excuse me, my student needs me," Slughorn said and turned to leave. Lily blocked his way.

"Wait, Professor, you have to listen to me! Severus didn't do it, it was me! You have to tell them that!"

"I'll do what I can," Slughorn said wearily, and Lily had a terrible feeling that he didn't believe her. Before she could say anything else he stepped into the Auror Department in a limp step.

"I'll see if we can take you home," Mrs. Chambers said and followed him inside.

"Can anyone hear me at all?!" Lily shouted into the office in frustration.

"I heard you," Potter said in a voice so calm that it almost startled her. "What were you doing with Snape?"

"I wasn't doing anything with him," she replied, his tone irritating her. "I went to see my sister. He followed me there."

Potter raised an eyebrow. "This guy has some serious problems."

Lily would've laughed if it wasn't so sad. "And then I used accidental magic – I couldn't control it, I was just so angry – and he told these people from the Ministry that it was him..."

Potter looked impressed. This wasn't the response she would have expected from him.

"He could go to Azkaban!" She shouted at him, feeling that he didn't comprehend the gravity of the situation.

"He won't go to Azkaban if no one got hurt," Potter assured her. "Why did you do magic?"

"It doesn't matter now," Lily replied, hugging herself, forcibly repressing the memory of the terrible conversation in Petunia's living room.

"It does matter," Potter said calmly, "If you had a good reason the punishment would be less severe."

Lily sat down in one of the waiting chairs heavily, rubbing her arms. "I didn't," she said heavily. "I was angry and it just happened. Something like that hadn't happened to me since before I went to Hogwarts. Only it was much stronger than before, and someone could've gotten really hurt if I wouldn't have stopped..."

Potter sat down in the chair beside her and put his jacket over her shoulders. Only then she realized how cold she was, so she didn't object.

"Can I tell you a secret?" He said, "It still happens to me too, all the time. It's a bit embarrassing, because it's something that's only supposed to happen to children... But sometimes I feel so angry or helpless and it just happens."

"When was the last time you nearly brought a house down?" Lily answered, and immediately regretted her sharp tone. Potter shared a personal and even shameful secret with her in an attempt to encourage and sympathize with her.

To her utter surprise, he replied, "When they told me that my parents' been murdered."

She felt terrible. "I'm so sorry..."

"It's all right," he said so honestly that she didn't dare look at him. "As someone who tends to attack people who are trying to help him, I can't judge you."

"It's not funny," she said, knowing that he meant the way he had treated her, Black and Dumbledore when they tried to explain to him why he can't go after Voldemort by himself. Still, she felt herself smiling.

"I'll tell you what," he said, standing up suddenly. "I'll try to squeeze out some information about what's going on. Stay here."

He entered the office and she missed him immediately. She didn't reckon that anyone had ever consoled her like that, without blaming or criticizing her. Perhaps only her mother has, when she was a very young girl.

She sat there for a few long minutes until she could no longer contain the tension and went into the office. The Auror's cubicles were separated by wooden partitions that ran along a long hall with a high ceiling. The place was mostly empty – it was a long after work hours – except for a few diligent workers and some Aurors on the night's shift who were playing cards around one of the tables. They didn't notice Lily as she silently passed outside the cubicle, peering into the offices if search for Potter.

Finally she heard his voice. From a few steps away she could see him in one of the offices, talking to a young Auror. He looked familiar; She thought she remembered him from school, maybe from Gryffindor's Quidditch team. He must have graduated when Lily was in her third or fourth year if he was already an Auror.

"I barely know anything about it, I was only filled out the paper work while the senior Aurors questioned him," he told Potter in a hint of bitterness. "But I knows that under no circumstances should the girl be released. She's the only witness. The Muggle woman refused to talk to us."

"Well, your only witness says something else entirely had happened," Potter said, "She says that he's innocent and that she was the one who did the magic."

"Since when are you on Snape's side? I thought you couldn't stand him," the Auror said, sitting down on the edge of his desk.

"I don't. But he's innocent," Potter said with some pain.

The Auror shrugged. "I don't know what to tell you, Potter. I only know that my superiors are really eager to question him. If you ask me, they're just looking for a reason. Perhaps they suspect that he's connected to You- Know- Who – I know that they're always looking for excuses to investigate wizards who are suspected of being in contact with him. Snape's lucky that he's still in Hogwarts and Dumbledore can protect him, otherwise they would've tore him apart in the interrogation room."

As if it was planned, in that exact moment Potter looked outside and saw Lily standing in the hallway. She hid quickly in an empty cubicle just as the Auror said, "What are you looking at?"

"Nothing. I thought I saw something."

"Well, you better go. No one's supposed to be here."

"I see. Thanks for everything," Potter finished the conversation quickly. There was a sound of a chair being dragging as the Auror returned to his chair. After a few moments Potter appeared beside Lily and they left the office without speaking.

"How much did you hear?" He asked when they were back in the waiting room.

"Enough to understand why no one would listen to me," Lily said heavily, returning to her seat. Stretching her skirt over her knees, she added, "I'm sure that what they're doing is illegal."

"He did admit, after all," Potter said, "And if he's really connected to Voldemort – "

Lily didn't want to hear it. He must have understood it without her speaking, because he became silent.

They sat in total silence until Mrs. Chambers came back, telling Lily she had to stay until the Aurors decided whether to take her testimony. In her heart she wanted to be called to testify, so that she could tell these people that she knew what they were trying to do and that they wouldn't get away with such a terrible tretment.

She was so engrossed in her rage that she hardly noticed that Potter had sent Mrs. Chambers home, and that he remained waiting there with her.

The hours passed in total silence. Potter sat almost motionless, except every once and a while when he got up to stretch or to get them water. Lily was talking to Severus in her head, trying to understand why he had done what he had done, after making it clear time and time again that he didn't want them to be friends. At one point she fell asleep and dreamed that she was trapped in the dark, in the cupboard under the stairs in Petunia's house.

She returned to reality when someone touched her shoulder gently. She realized she was slumped in her seat, and that her head throbbing with terrible pain. Potter was looking at her with a trace of concern.

"You fell asleep," he said at her confused look. She straightened up and tried to stretch, but all her body ached. Suddenly he asked, "Who's Harry?"

Lily thought about it, her mind vague. "I don't know. Why?"

"You were mumbling his name in your sleep. I probably heard you wrong."

"Sorry..." she muttered hoarsely, running a hand through her hair. "What time is it?"

"Almost two."

Potter watched her trying to wake up. He looked eager to ask her something, but before he could Slughorn and Dumbledore came out of the office.

Lily leaped to her feet, but before she could say anything Dumbledore spoke, "He will be released home in the morning. He would be punished in school, being that no one got hurt."

"Thank you, Professor," Lily said, knowing it was thanks to him. "But you must understand that it wasn't him – "

"Horace told me your side of the story, Miss Evans," Dumbledore said sternly. He had never addressed her that way before. "You will have a personal conversation with Professor McGonagall on the first day of school. At the moment Mr. Snape denies you had anything to do with what had happened and takes full responsibility for it."

"Can I see him?"

"Not while he's in custody. Go home, Miss Evans." With these words Dumbledore ended the conversation and left. Lily looked after him, her stomach turning. She couldn't shake off the feeling that he was angry with her. Professor Slughorn tried to smile at her encouragingly and left too, looking exhausted.

"Ready to go?" She could barely hear Potter talking to her. She let him lead her, her head hurting too much for her to think or feel anything. She was cold, and even his jacket was no longer helping her.

She couldn't remember the Apparition, nor how she got to her room, only that it was very cold outside at two in the morning. The next thing she remembered was lying in bed in her clothes, sweating under the covers, and Mrs. Chambers speaking to her.

She must have been very ill because she spent that whole day in bed, waking sleeping intermittently. She felt terrible in her waking moments, but the dreams she had when she slept were worse. At best, they took place in distant and noisy places and made no sense at all. At worst, she was a child again and had just lost her mother, or was spending her time with Severus and couldn't get away from him even though he frightened her. And sometimes she was locked up in Petunia's house or in a house she didn't know, a priest was scattering incense that confused her, and the cries of a baby filled her ears and wouldn't let her pray. At the end of every dream she stood in a blue room, haunted with the knowledge that someone had come to kill her.

When she came back to herself, it was morning. Only when Madeleine came into her room with a tray of food did she discover that she had had high fever for twenty-four hours.

She had no appetite, but she had to take a shower, though she felt dizzy. When she got back to her room, feeling a little better, she found Remus sitting on her bed with two books in his lap.

"You're not supposed to get out of bed," he said, noticing that she was dressed for work. "Mrs. Chambers' orders."

"I can't stay in bed for another day," Lily said as she combed her wet hair, though she still felt ill. "It's not bad enough that I made her come to the Ministry in the middle of the night, I've also missed a whole day's work. I'm surprised she hasn't fired me yet."

"She won't fire you. Things like that happen," Remus said patiently, then gestured to the tray that was still on the bed. "And you have to eat."

Lily sat down on the bed, feeling like her legs were too weak to carry her. "Only if you eat with me," she said. It touched her heart that he was worried about her. She sipped her tea and suddenly realized how thirsty she was.

"Fair enough," Remus said, buttering a piece of toast. "But if I so much as suspect you're trying to get out of bed I'll snitch you out, is that clear?"

They ate on the bed, taking their time, the conversation flowing. Remus brought her books to keep her busy while she was bedridden, and Potter sent with him a get-well card. On it's cover was a colorful picture of the Beatles in their famous colorful suits, waving and smiling, and every time she opened the card it played one of their songs. Lily liked it very much, so she put it on her nightstand.

"What happened that night, anyway?" Remus asked her when they had finished eating, pouring the remaining tea in the kettle into her cup. "We didn't even know you'd left the house."

"Didn't Potter tell you?" She asked suspiciously.

"No," Remus replied, "He said it was personal."

Lily was quite impressed with Potter's tact. She began to tell the events only in general, but Remus' patient and attentive gaze encouraged her to go into details, and in the end she found herself telling the whole story from the beginning to the end.

"She managed to hurt me in the most painful way," she signed her painful story about Petunia. "And the fact that she behaved as if all she wanted was to sit and talk made it worse."

"Why is your sister bothered so much that you're a witch?" Remus asked. His father was a wizard and a Ministry employer – he couldn't understand why being a wich would be a bad thing, when where he comes from a wizard is the noblest title one can have.

"It's something she doesn't understand, something her faith can not explain. It could be frightening – it scared me too at first, until I realized it didn't actually change anything, that I was who I've always been. It's a gift, after all... But Petunia always said it was the devil's gift..."

Remus almost choked on an orange slice. "She ... really said that to you?"

Lily tried to look as if it wasn't hurting her. "Yes," she said, concealing the bitterness. "It's hard for her to accept what's different..."

"It's a terrible thing to say to anyone, least of all your sister."

Lily shrugged. "It doesn't matter. I don't know when I'll see her again."

She hadn't thought about it until she said these words, and now she knew it was the truth – that the rift between her and Petunia was already too deep. She couldn't escape the understanding that she was left to drift in the world alone, without roots.

"And what about Severus?" Remus asked gently. "Are you going to talk to him about what happened?"

"I should, but I don't want to." Only the thought of Severus' dilapidated house at Spinner's End made her shudder. "At least not alone... Would you come with me?"

"I don't think that's a good idea," Remus said uneasily. "He could get the wrong idea..."

It took Lily a moment to understand what he was talking about. The fact that Remus was a werewolf seemed so unattached to reality that she had almost forgotten that Severus had discovered his terrible secret, which was revealed only in the light of the full moon.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" Remus said with sudden embarrassment. When Lily nodded, not knowing how the conversation could be more personal than it already was, he asked, "Were you and Severus ever... Together?"

The question made her very uncomfortable. It wasn't the first time she had been asked the question – her classmates had been very preoccupied with it when she and Severus were close – and the older she got, the more it bothered her.

"No, never," she replied. "At the beginning of fifth year I started to feel like he wanted something to happen between us... But he never really said anything, and then it was too late. I could never see him as more than a friend. Now were not even friends."

Remus nodded sympathetically. The subject embarrassed him more than it should have, and Lily immediately understood why. She crossed her arms.

"Did Potter tell you to ask me that?"

Remus hesitated for a moment and then nodded in defeat.

"So you can tell him that if he wants to ask me something, he can do it himself," Lily said, not sure why it bothered her so much that Potter had sent his friend to investigate her love life.

"You can't blame him for being a bit dense," Remus said in his friend's defense, "It's a sensitive subject. And he likes you. A lot."

Lily tightened her crossed arms, refusing to let the words touch her heart. "He went out with all the girls in our class," she said, raising one of the many claims she held against Potter.

"Like every other boy of our year," Remus said logically. "You wouldn't talk to him after what happened at the end of fifth year, so he tried to move on. It didn't exactly work out for him..."

Lily wanted to say that he deserved her treatment, but the old memory was muffled by the fresh memories of him from the last few weeks. He deserved to be punished for the repulsive things he had done when they were younger, but she could agree that he had served his sentence, at least for now.

"You should rest," Remus said. As he walked to the door it seemed to her that his kind smile was changing into something more mischievous.

After an hour of bed rest and an attempt to read Lily let the book fall over her face, thinking how much she would have liked to wipe that smile from Remus' face. She had always thought he was innocent and kind compered to his friends, but the way he had planted the thought of Potter in her head and just left was simply cruel.

In the afternoon she felt that if she stayed in bed for another second she would go mad, so she went to look for Mrs. Chambers. She found her in the empty dining room, repairing a magnificent ancient tapestry that had been eaten by dixies in the master bedroom, and begged her to let her work. Mrs. Chambers claimed that she wasn't yet fit for work but agreed she could continue repairing the tapestry because she had to go visit her niece.

Lily took her place in the chair and spread the thick fabric on her knees, pointing the needle at the loose patch of cloth over the head of one of James Potter's ancestors, who was in the middle of a battle against a dragon.

The afternoon was lovely and warm. Mrs. Chambers had left all the windows in the dining room are open, and the velvet curtains swayed in the wind like the petals of a large flowers, bathed in the sunlight, which was as thick and sweet as honey. After a few minutes of sewing Lily felt much calmer.

When she heard footsteps on the stairs she pleaded with herself to ignore it and concentrate on the blue and red threads. But somehow she managed to look up just as Potter came into the room. He smiled at her and she acted as if a loose thread demanded her complete attention.

"I'm glad to see you're feeling better," he said, abandoning his original reason for coming there and leaning against the wooden counter under one of the windows. "Did you like my card?"

"Yes," Lily replied, not bringing up the fact that he had marvelously remembered that she liked the Beatles. "I didn't know you could buy Muggle- related things in wizards' shops," she added to make the conversation more general and eliminate the strange tension that wouldn't leave her. She wanted to disappear and to glow at the same time.

"I don't think you could," Potter said, trying to hide his pride. "I made it myself. You said you liked the Beatles, and I got some of their records, and I also know some spells..." He must have realized he was talking in broken sentences because he went silent and looked out the window.

Lily went back to the tapestry. As she straightened the hero's figure to correct his magical- armor- clad elbow, she noticed that even though he was still, the magic in the drawing faded long ago, he's resemblance to Potter almost made her heart skip a beat.

She tried to say something and he spoke at the same time. He laughed and apologized. "You first."

She immediately wished she hadn't spoken. She looked down at the illustrated hero. It could be said to the creator's credit that he had decided to give up the maiden- in- distress concept, and instead he added a witch riding on a hippogriff who was watching over the hero from above.

"I'd like to see the Peverell's fort during the day," she said finally, looking up bravely. She felt like she needed to explain herself, but all the words had left her, so she just looked at him with a challenging look.

"Seriously?" He replied with genuine surprise.

"If you don't have time – "

"No, I have plenty of time," he said quickly, running his hand through his hair. He didn't try to hide how glad the request made him, and like whenever she saw him smiling those days Lily couldn't stop her own smile. "We can go tomorrow afternoon. If it suits you, I mean."

"Sure," Lily said, forgetting that she had planed to work overtime to compensate Mrs. Chambers for her absences.

"Good," Potter said and walked out of the room with a smile, as if he had to be somewhere urgently. After a few moments Lily heard the front door close.

Once she was alone, she buried her face in the tapestry. If a month ago someone would have told her that she would spend an evening alone with Potter, and on her own initiative, she would have laughed. Now she felt like laughing because of the butterflies that filled her stomach, a sensation she has never felt before.