Chapter 26

"I'm here as Ship's Counsellor." Deanna said with her arms folded.

He looked up from his terminal in Engineering. "God forbid you should visit me as my wife." he replied and rolled across to the other console in his chair.

"This is serious, if you're having a relapse of your holo-addiction…" she said following him.

"I'm touched that you care enough to check up on me when I stay out all night. Were you disappointed that I wasn't with Prior?" he told her without taking his eyes off the readout. "The real one anyway." he added silently, knowing she would pull it from his mind, and know the only guilt he felt was of using her image without permission.

She grabbed the arms of his seat and turned him to face her. "Reg, what's happening to you?" she asked. "You've become so angry, so bitter all of a sudden."

"I'm tired." he replied. "I'm tired of you condemning me for crimes that are only in my mind. I'm tired of the…the disappointment on your face when the door opens and I walk into our quarters. I'm tired of feeling…" He looked at her and frowned, took her chin in his hand and turned her face to the side. "Who is he?" he said coldly as he looked at the bruise on her neck, just below her jaw. What really surprised him was his utter lack of jealousy.

"What?" she asked, pulling away. Her hand rose to the bite on her neck. "The Praxian Ambassador tried it on while I was dancing with him. At the time you were watching Prior shaking her boobs in the face of that Tellarite." she spat angrily. It was true that one of the shorter members of the Tellarite delegation had asked her to dance and was nose to breast with her, however she maintained her 'dance space' carefully. Reg admittedly got a little carried away making certain of that. "Where were you when my backside was getting groped?" she asked. "You didn't fly to my defence and start punching people. You saved that honour for a chit of a girl nearly half your age who belongs on sale at a slave market, not the bridge of a Starship."

"The Captain asked me to bring you this." Taryn said dropping a padd on the console. "He wants to meet with the senior team in half an hour when you've read it." she told Reg softly and turned and walked away.

"Oh my God." Deanna said and rubbed her temples. "I can't believe I said that."

Reg picked up the padd. "You have a right to be angry," he conceded, "with me. Not her. That was a low blow Deanna. That will have cut her to the quick and any other officer would make an official complaint. Think about that?" He looked at her as she turned on her heel and left and he shook his head as he watched her go. Did she really think he was so dense he wouldn't notice Worf couldn't look him in the eye anymore? She should stick to saying her hickeys were from Mok'bara practice seeing as Worf seemed to get them too, and on the same days. Besides he saw the Praxian Ambassador sucking face with Taryn's cousin Nareev as they were leaving. He doubted Deanna was his type.

…

The senior team exchanged glances around the table, Guinan and Geordi were also present. "I c…came up with this?" Barclay asked as he looked at the padd.

"You certainly did." Geordi confirmed with a smile.

Barclay shook his head in disbelief and chewed at his fingers, the idea of firing a tachyon beam at a pulsar to create a micro-wormhole and sending a com signal through it was inspired, let alone a matter stream. That was the work of a genius to accomplish.

"Can you recreate the transporter experiment?" Data asked him.

"No." he replied. "We don't have an interdimensional deep space transponder array." Reg said plainly. "I don't know of another way to create a sixty terawatt tachyon beam or a gravimetric surge of five million teradynes without one."

"No MIDAS?" Geordi asked with a horrified expression.

"The Vulcan's proposed building one in the Mutara Sector but Starfleet didn't have the resources to join the venture. It's still on the drawing board." Taryn stated. "We're at war. Research and development, what's left of it is focused on offensive and defensive weaponry. Communications arrays are low on the list of priorities."

"Even if we did have a way of firing a tachyon beam of the necessary magnitude we don't have access to the Bajoran wormhole." Barclay reported. "It's in Dominion territory."

"The Bajoran Orb of Time generates a surge of chronoton radiation right?" Taryn suggested. "If we can do the same we could create a temporal vortex."

"Yes, but we have no way of producing such a surge, much less focusing it." Worf stated.

"Yes we do." Barclay responded. "We have the prototype interphase cloaking device the Romulans were messing with."

"Oh yeah, when Ro and I got phased and declared dead." Geordi stated. "That happened here right?" he asked and everyone nodded. "We didn't confiscate the device though."

"We did." Worf intoned with an air of superiority.

"Well, that thing pumps out chronotons alright. We just need to find a way to focus it." Geordi stated. "I'm sure we could come up with something."

"Are we sure we're doing the right thing here?" Counsellor Troi asked. "We could make matters worse by interfering in the timeline."

"Believe me, things couldn't get much worse than they are now." Guinan stated. "The war with the Dominion should be over. We won."

"Starfleet is less than a quarter of the size it is in our timeline. You're going to lose this war." Geordi stated, "Unless we change the past back to how it was before the aliens intervened."

"I understand that you have your doubts, I have admitted that I am not the same person I was this time yesterday and it could be argued that I am not your Captain. I realize I am asking you to join me in disobeying orders and breaking the Temporal Prime Directive based on my word alone. If any of you wish to leave the ship you may do so."

"As your First Officer my place is at your side sir." Worf answered.

"You know my answer." Taryn smiled.

"It's not the first time we've played with Earth's history. Why change the habit of a lifetime?" Beverly agreed.

"I'd… like to be the man who came up with this." Barclay stated, waving the padd, glancing at Taryn askance.

"It's decided then." Deanna stated coldly.

…

"This cannot continue." Worf intoned as they were alone after the Mok'bara practice.

"We haven't done anything Worf." Deanna protested. "We've only kissed a few times."

"You know what is in my heart." Worf stated angrily and turned away. "In our souls we have dishonoured Mr Barclay."

"Worf… Don't please." She took his arm and turned him to face her, "I'm redundant here. The Captain hasn't confided in me since he married and he knows as much about diplomatic protocol as I do. I'm only here to comfort crewmembers who've lost loved ones in the war these days. Reg spent the night on the holodeck, he's fixated on this crush he has on Prior and he doesn't want me anymore. He doesn't even care that she couldn't possibly be interested."

"You are someone else's mate." Worf said as he pulled away his arm. "If you are unhappy you should seek a separation."

"I can't do that to him, he'll fall apart." she said incredulously. "He'll disappear onto a holodeck and never re-emerge."

"I believe he is more robust than you give him credit for. He is not the man he was when he first came aboard. He has proven himself time and again." Worf fixed her with his gaze. "Or is it that you wish him to be dependent on you? Just as you wish the Captain was still the socially awkward android that asked for your advice when he found the emotions of others confusing."

"That's unfair." she exclaimed, her lower lip quivering.

"Your wounds are self-inflicted Deanna. I was among those you counselled for loss or have you forgotten? I lost K'Ehleyr and Jadzia and then I lost Alexander in the war and you belittle your service to the bereaved as though it were a waste of your skills. You counsel others in their grief yet you cling to the memory of your child as if to love another would be a betrayal. You cling to a man long dead and took a mate you knew was vulnerable and who loved you more than you did him. You do not practice what you preach."

"I don't have to listen to this." she shouted and turned to leave. He grabbed her arm.

"Listen to this." he stated. "I love you, but I cannot take you while you are so encumbered in spirit. You must let go of the past."

She wrenched her arm free and stalked from the room, tears streaming down her face.

…

"He's called Widowmaker? Seriously?" Reg asked as the horse ate a treat from his hand and Taryn saddled her black Friesian, Obsidian. He thought it would be a struggle for her to reach, he was a big horse but she managed it easily. "For a stallion he seems a teddy bear, don't you handsome?" He cooed at his mount.

"We can swap if you're at all worried but he doesn't live up to the name." she told him. "Cadfael called him that after he refused at a hedge and he went flying into it, it stuck unfortunately. He likes an assertive rider and Cadfael was as assertive as a wet noodle." she explained the reason for the bay Standardbred's name.

"Do you have a western saddle?" Reg asked.

"I don't know." Taryn said with a frown and walked to the tack room. "You could use my side-saddle?" she joked.

"You ride side-saddle?" he asked incredulously as he finished brushing Widowmaker. He'd only seen holographic simulations do that, it always looked so precarious.

"Not often but I can." she replied. "Edara likes me to for some reason. I think you'll have to go English." she said emerging with a saddle for him.

"Here let me." he said and grasped it, his hand brushed hers and he blushed. His holodeck adventure with her alter-ego paled in comparison to the inadvertent touch of her fingers against his. Her jodhpurs, riding boots and tight polo shirt were doing strange things to his blood pressure too. He was also dressed for riding but with short boots and long sleeves on his shirt.

"I had no idea you had anything so powerful between your legs Commander." She smirked as he joined her in the lane, both wearing riding helmets. They trotted along at a steady pace for a while before turning into a field and breaking into a gallop. Her horse was beautiful, a worthy steed for a knight in armour with a dramatic mane and tail that flowed in the wind and she rode him as though he were an extension of herself. Widowmaker was a great horse, pacey and proud but responsive. He understood what she meant about him liking an assertive rider. He could tell he had a distinct personality while he was brushing and saddling him.

Ahead of him she jumped the gate on the black gelding. He had to admire her form and followed her, acutely glad he was using an English saddle as he would most likely have gelded himself on the horn of a western. He tore after her across the next field, catching her up. He reached the next gate before her and jumped it catching his shoulder on a low branch he didn't spot until it was far too late and was unseated. He landed on his side on the other side of the gate in a heap and was grateful Taryn had insisted he wore a helmet. He heard Taryn's horse bray, an alarmed squeal and turned to see her flying forwards over her horses dropped head and land against the gate before hitting the ground. Obsidian stumbled and rolled over, narrowly missing her and scrambled to his feet, shaking his head. A seventeen hand, fifteen-hundred pound horse doesn't find it easy to stop on a dime.

"Are you okay?" she asked desperately. "I thought we were going to trample you." she was shaking.

"I'm fine but my pride's a little dented." He looked up, Widowmaker was sniffing at his shirt and Reg patted his cheek. "Are you alright?" he asked and took hold of her hand through the gate. Their eyes met for a moment and it seemed to Reg that time stood still, the warmth of her hand in his and the sound of her quickened breath all that he was aware of. She tore her hand away as if burned, along with her eyes.

"I'm just shaken up." she said and stood, going to check her horse. "Easy 'Sidian." she whispered as she checked his legs and patted him. Reg opened the gate as she swung back into the saddle and she trotted through after ensuring her steed was fine. He closed it behind her, mounted Widowmaker and they rode on at a slightly more sedate pace with a lot less showing off.

…

"I really don't know what you want me to say Deanna." Beverly stated as she swiveled in her office chair sipping her coffee.

"So you're on her side?" Deanna snapped.

"No, but I'm furious with you. I told you she wanted to hold off on the implantation as Ship's Counsellor and you tell me you used that personal information as ammunition in an argument with your husband and never spoke to her at all. Then you tell me you made a public, racist comment in her earshot and want to know if I've heard anything about a complaint? What's happened to your objectivity? Your professionalism?"

"Maybe they went off riding planetside with my husband?" she asked acidly.

"For pity's sake they aren't having an affair! Engineering and Ops always end up working closely and she sees him as a friend. God knows she can't confide in the Ship's Counsellor." Beverly argued and nibbled at a biscuit.

"So this is my fault?" Deanna replied.

"Well maybe it is. We both know you haven't exactly been faithful over the years or hidden that fact from Reg. Despite that you've always kept him on a tight leash, even more so since Prior was posted here and I've often wondered if you aren't choking him. You say he's become bitter and twisted? Maybe a long hard look in the mirror wouldn't hurt? Yes, he's obviously attracted to her and she regards him fondly and yes, this situation is somewhat unusual since this other Data arrived but… Can you honestly say you're happy with your marriage? Because you've bent my ear about it often enough." Beverly sipped her drink. "Maybe Worf is right and you need to make a definitive choice? Maybe you do need to let go of the baggage you've been hauling around since you heard about the accident on the Potemkin?" Beverly paused and quirked her lip. "Maybe it's no coincidence you married a man with a morbid fear of transporters?"

Deanna sighed and unfolded her arms. She picked up her mug of hot chocolate as she considered her friend's words.

…

"You'll feel it tomorrow." Taryn told him after they returned to the ship and were headed towards the turbolift. They were now in Earth orbit and the crew had been granted shore leave before their unauthorized mission began.

"I'm feeling it now." Reg told her with a smile. "Are you sure you don't want to call in to Sickbay? That was quite a tumble you took."

"I'm fine, it's not the first time I've come a cropper. You should go to Sickbay, for a moment I thought you were going to be no more than a fond memory. You scared me to death."

"It was nothing, just a few bruises aside from a mortal wound to my ego…" he smiled. "It was fun, we should ride more often… if it all goes horribly wrong and this timeline continues."

"It was fun." she replied shyly as they stepped onto the turbolift.

"There's something…" He stopped and looked away, "something I…well I…" he sighed as they reached the floor both of their quarters were on. They stepped out and she turned to face him.

"What is it?" she looked up at him plaintively.

He fidgeted with his hands, "The other night…when you took responsibility for what happened…why?" he asked with a puzzled expression.

"I'd already decided to help Data correct the timeline and my career didn't seem important compared to what was at stake. I couldn't let you take the blame."

"But it was my fault. I should have been the one to take the blame."

"I thought you charging to my rescue was…gallant if a little melodramatic and I was touched." She smiled that shy dimpled smile. "You're more important to the ship than I am. I could have still helped Data as his dependent. It would be more difficult for you to work as Chief Engineer in the same position."

"So you and he are working things out?" He tore his eyes from hers. "That's…well that's good…good news…really good news. Great in fact." he said trying to convince himself more than anything.

"There's nothing to work out." she stated, indicating her empty ring finger that he was shocked he hadn't noticed. "I'm only staying in our quarters because he doesn't need to eat or sleep and we're short on accommodation at the moment."

"So you aren't? I mean you're not…I…well…um." he stammered, desperate to confirm that she wasn't having hot android sex anymore, suddenly terrified by the thought of how he'd fare in comparison. "I wanted…I mean I thought…It's understandable of course…if you were…" she looked at him with a puzzled expression on her face, patient as always as he tried to articulate his emotions. "Oh fuck it." he exclaimed and grabbed her, his lips seizing hers in a searing kiss, his hand gently cupping the back of her head as he held her firmly against him with his arm around her waist. To his utter amazement he felt her hand slide over his back and shoulder, the other slid up his chest to his open collar and caressed the base of his throat, her lips returning his kiss feverishly. Her response was worlds apart from his photonic Galatea, her hands stronger as he held him, her kiss more heated and passionate. "I'm in love with you." he whispered and kissed her again, softly and gently. "I have been since the day I first saw you."

He slammed into the bulkhead as she slapped him hard across the face.

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" she screamed. "You're married! I'm married at least technically! Your wife is a fucking empath! You can't kiss me like that!" she scowled angrily. "You can't say things like that!"

"Hold on a minute." Barclay said as he blinked, his ears ringing and cheek burning from the blow to his face. "You kissed me back!" he argued.

"I did not." she pouted and stormed off.

"Liar." he shouted after her.

…

"Taryn, you cannot mean this." Data said entering the quarters they shared as man and wife in another life. He held a padd in his hand. "You cannot really wish to resign your commission?"

"I can and do." she said as she packed what was left of her belongings since her last packing fit. "I'll be staying with Miffy. Can you see that my things get sent to the riding school?" she advised him.

"What has happened?" Data asked, reaching out to touch her arm, but she pulled away.

"Troi's right, I don't belong on the Bridge of a Starship. I'm a liability. It's only a matter of time before I really lose control and what happened at the reception will be an everyday occurrence. There's a reason why only a handful of Green Women have ever joined Starfleet. We're toxic, we poison the people around us making women sick and men irrational."

"I have met few people more deserving than you of a Bridge post." Data told her. "I do not know what Counsellor Troi said but you must have misunderstood…"

"I didn't misunderstand anything. Apparently I'm 'a chit of a girl nearly half her husband's age who belongs on sale at a slave market, not the bridge of a Starship'. Admittedly she didn't know I was there when she shouted it in the middle of Main Engineering." She picked up the statue of a wolf from the coffee table and flopped onto the couch. "That's the other reason why I've resigned my commission." She felt the contours of the metal figurine. "I think I broke the senior team." she admitted guiltily.

"You…broke the senior team?"

"Barclay kissed me and told me he's in love with me, and Troi is going to kill me, she already hates my guts and has since the day I arrived. Even if he manages to hide it from her empathically the handprint I left on his face is a dead giveaway. Everyone is going to take sides and I'll be the green slut. I always am." She sighed. "That's not the worst part…" She looked at Data and tears welled in her eyes. "I liked him kissing me and I kissed him back. I think…I wish you never told me about the other timeline, everything is a mess. I can't stay now." she shook her head. "I just can't. You're all better off without me." She grabbed her bag, shoving the statue in it and left their quarters.

…

"Come in." Barclay said and stood up from the couch, he'd showered and changed into uniform although his jacket was open and he had an ice pack held to his face. He'd thought about going to Sickbay but Beverly was Deanna's friend and the last thing he needed was a lecture. He felt bad enough as it was. "Taryn." he whispered, surprised that she was out of uniform, much less carrying a bag over her shoulder.

"Is Counsellor Troi here?" she asked softly, looking around.

"No." he replied. "There's something you need to know…"

"Please, I came to apologize." she stated. "I shouldn't have hit you, you didn't deserve it and you were right, I did kiss you back."

"Taryn…" he began.

"I came to say good-bye, I've resigned my commission, effective immediately. I couldn't just go without saying anything." She sniffed and wiped her face with her sleeve. "Take care of yourself okay?" she whispered and turned to leave, avoiding his alarmed expression.

"I asked Deanna for a divorce." he said. "I think she was relieved. We should have done it years ago."

"You shouldn't have, not because of me." she whispered.

He shook his head. "We want different things and always have done. We fell in love with an illusion of each other that bore little relation to reality. Besides, she admitted there's something between her and Worf, not that I didn't already know." He looked at her. "Please don't leave?" he pleaded and stepped towards her. "There's so much I need to tell you…"

She cupped his cheek, still red from where she slapped him and stood on tiptoes to kiss him gently on the lips. "I'm sorry." she whispered and turned away again.

"My father has a painting that looks just like you, and I tried to make a hologram of her when I was eighteen and she never seemed right but she was…nothing like you and the moment I met you I knew that I'd been waiting for you my entire life," he blurted. "I did something awful after the reception, on the holodeck as usual. I made a…a you and I spent the night with her and boy am I sorry I did it but I felt… lost and I wanted you so much and you should have that baby that's waiting for you in Sickbay. I know you planned to raise her with Data, but you should raise her with me and I don't care that I sound like a maniac because this may be my only chance to say this..."

"Reg…" Taryn began.

"No, let me finish…" he gestured frantically with his hands. "I meant what I said, I'm in love with you and if there's any possibility that you could give me, give us a chance…" She kissed him again. "Was that a kiss good-bye?" he whispered dejectedly.

"No." she replied, with a smile. "And the baby isn't in Sickbay, I couldn't just leave her behind."

"She's in your bag?" he asked with alarm, "Is she okay in there?"

"She's not in the bag." Taryn admitted, looking a little nervous.

"You're pregnant?" he asked with a smile.

"It's a bit early to be classed as pregnant, but…I went back to Sickbay after you pounced on me in the corridor, once I decided to leave."

"Oh Taryn, you have to let me be with you." he whispered, holding her against his chest. "I'll love both of you so much and I'll, well I'll do my best to be a good father. If you still want to leave I'll resign too."

"I don't want to leave." she told him. "But it's not going to be easy to stay. I'll be the green femme fatale that broke up your marriage, and my own. The rest of the crew aren't going to believe it's a different captain from another timeline."

"Just, put me out of my misery for God's sake?" he wailed. "I don't expect you to love me back, I just want to prove to…" She kissed him again.

"How many times do I have to kiss you before you get it?" She smiled and kissed him again and he held her tight in his embrace, never wanting to let her go. "Oh crap, I have to see Data." she exclaimed, pulled away and ran from the room.

"You're going back to him?" Reg called plaintively down the corridor after her. "But I thought…"

"I have to stop him submitting my resignation to Starfleet Command, and ask for an annulment." she shouted back.

"You're not keeping it quiet then?" he yelled back with a smile.

"No, because I think I love you Reginald Barclay." she hollered at the top of her lungs.

"She thinks she loves me." he repeated, grinning like an idiot then frowned suddenly. "She thinks she loves me?" He frowned again. "An annulment? That can't be right."