Come to Light

by happylikeafool

Blindsided by a diagnosis that threatens the semblance of the life she's built for herself, Emma finds herself a patient at the Boston Cancer Center, where she meets Regina, a volunteer waiting on an adoption that can't come soon enough. They're two lonely people crossing paths in the dark and maybe, just maybe, they'll be exactly what the other needs. Slow burn Swan Queen AU.

12. Endings and Beginnings

A/N: Just wanted to warn that I've changed the rating of this fic from T to M for a brief NSFW scene. I don't think it's especially graphic but I still thought it merited the rating change.

Chapter 12: Endings and Beginnings

Emma hadn't really realized that when Regina said move in with us, she'd meant, like, right then that day.

But late afternoon, when Henry started getting fussy, Regina suggested that they just pack up whatever Emma needed for the next week and a half, pointing out that they'd be back in Boston at that point for Emma's next treatment and they could get more of her things then.

Regina's suggestion that they pack, turned out to mean less they and more Regina.

Regina wouldn't Emma do anything more than lie on the bed with Henry and point out whatever she needed.

Emma didn't need much and Regina had everything gathered up in no time, leaving Emma with Henry while she carried things downstairs to load into her car.

Curled up on her side, Emma looked down at Henry lying beside her on his back. She rubbed his belly gently, smiling softly at him, "I guess we're going to be roommates, buddy. I hope that's okay with you."

Looking up at her with wide eyes, Henry flailed his arms, his little hands balled into fists.

Emma smiled fondly, "I'm going to take that as enthusiasm." Still smiling, she lifted her head from her pillow, bending forward to press a kiss into the soft down of hair haloing his head.

He waved his arms some more as Emma resettled her head on her pillow, still rubbing his belly. "Want to hear a secret?" she asked him, pausing as if he might answer her before continuing even quieter, "No one's ever told me they love me before. Your mom is the first." It was true, she couldn't recall a single instance in her life where someone had uttered those words to her. Perhaps the very first couple, the ones who'd kept her for three years, had but she couldn't remember that. Certainly none of her other foster parents had. And she'd never had a serious relationship before.

Emma shook her head, shaking those thoughts away, her focus back on Henry's face, although she was still pensive, "Want to know something else? I've never said it to anyone before either."

She thought that she maybe, probably, did love Regina. It was hard to know for sure, hard to correctly recognize emotions she'd never been on either the giving or receiving end of before. But what she did know was that she'd never felt about anyone the way she felt about Regina. Regina could make her smile even when she felt her absolute worst by just being there. The other day, when she'd thought for a brief moment that something had happened to Regina, it had felt as if the whole world was ending. That must be love? Right? The possibility of telling Regina that though was actually sort of terrifying in the overwhelming kind of way.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the apartment door opening and closing and a moment later Regina was leaning against the door frame of the bedroom.

Emma looked up from Henry and over at Regina, who was watching them with the softest of expressions. "Time to go?" Emma asked.

"Yes," Regina smiled softly, fondly, "time to go."

xxxxxx

Curled up in the passenger seat with two blankets that Regina had tucked carefully around her and her head resting on a pillow that had been placed between her and the window, Emma was asleep within the first ten minutes of the drive to Storybrooke.

Henry seemed to be asleep too and Regina spent the next hour driving with nothing but the sound of soft breathing to keep her company.

She didn't mind.

Emma was coming home with her. Emma was going to live with her and Henry - even if it might be just until chemo was over.

Regina glanced over at her sleeping girlfriend, her heart fluttering with fondness and love.

She couldn't remember ever feeling quite so content in her life.

xxxxxx

Emma woke with a groan to someone nudging her shoulder gently. She groaned again, stretching slowly as she righted herself in the seat and looked over at Regina.

"We're home," Regina supplied unnecessarily.

Emma's heart did a weird flip at the way Regina called it home so naturally, as if the word applied to Emma too, as if this was where Emma belonged.

Emma just nodded, her head still foggy with sleep. She was slower than Regina to get out of the vehicle and by the time she pushed the passenger door open, Regina was already pulling Henry in his carrier out of the backseat.

Emma couldn't contain the moan of pain that came as she pushed herself out of the car stiffly, already aching bones protesting having been in the same slightly awkward position for an hour.

A hand was instantly on her lower back, hot breath near her ear as Regina asked, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Emma said but didn't protest when Regina left her hand on her back as they moved slowly towards the house.

Another moan of pain escaped against her will when she had to raise her knee high enough to climb the porch steps. Regina's hand pressed firmer against her back and Emma answered the question written all over Regina's face before she could ask it, "My bones just ache."

They climbed the last step and Regina finally withdrew her hand from Emma's back so that she could unlock the front door. She set Henry's carrier down and turned the key in the lock, pushing the door open and glancing back at Emma, "You need a bath." It wasn't a question but a statement.

"It would help," Emma agreed. Hot water was really the only thing that she'd found that helped with the growth factor shot induced bone pain. She usually took two or three baths on the day after she gave herself the shot but today she hadn't had a single one - there had just been her failed attempt before Regina had found her.

Regina nodded, picking Henry's carrier back up, still holding the door open. She waited for Emma to pass into the house and then she followed. "You can use the tub in the master bathroom," she said as she set Henry's carrier down in the entranceway, removing her jacket and then lifting the baby out of the carrier.

Emma just shrugged, "Shouldn't we bring the stuff in from the car first?"

Regina shook her head, "I'll take care of it later."

Emma shrugged again and let Regina lead the way up stairs through the master bedroom into the master bathroom. Emma's eyes widened at the size of the room. It was gorgeous, all grey and white marble, with a double sink vanity, a large shower with glass doors, and a large corner jacuzzi style tub.

"Could you hold Henry?" Regina asked, carefully transferring the baby to Emma when she nodded.

Emma cradled Henry close, leaning against the counter while Regina fiddled with the taps on the tub. Emma considered saying that she knew how to fill a tub with water herself but Regina seemed on a mission, testing the water and adding bubbles of some kind, and turning on jets, and setting a fluffy looking towel down within arms reach of tub, and, so Emma just watched.

Once the tub was filled and Regina was finally done fussing with it, she moved over to Emma, taking Henry back from her.

"Thanks," Emma smiled.

Regina nodded, "If you need anything else…" she trailed off, not finishing the thought but hovering almost awkwardly near the door.

Emma eyed her curiously. Regina seemed almost nervous all of a sudden.

They stared at each other for a long moment before Regina said uncertainly, "I guess I'll leave you to it."

"Are you okay?" Emma frowned.

"Of course," Regina answered immediately but it didn't quite ring true.

"Regina," Emma said in the tone Regina usually used on her when she was pretending to be fine even though she clearly wasn't.

Regina sighed, her eyes shifting uncertainly between Emma and the tub, "You'll be okay to climb into the tub?"

It was only then that Emma realized that the emotion Regina was exuding wasn't nervousness - it was fear. Emma felt a bit like an idiot. She hadn't really considered how her failed attempt to climb into a tub, literally just this morning, might have affected Regina. It had been fairly mortifying to be found that way but she hadn't considered how it must have felt from Regina's perspective. Emma could only imagine how she might have reacted if she'd been the one to find Regina in that position. "I'm sorry I scared you this morning," Emma said quietly.

"You didn't," Regina said a little too quickly.

"Regina…" Emma said carefully, in a tone that was gentle yet clear that she didn't believe her. She pushed herself off of where she was still leaning against the vanity and took the few steps required to close the distance between herself and Regina, her gate still stiff. She didn't say anything else, just wrapped her arms around Regina from the side, one arm up around her shoulders, the other around her waist, hugging her tightly, mindful of Henry in her arms.

Regina sagged into the contact, her eyes fluttering closed, taking slow deep breaths as Emma's hug seemed to comfort her.

When Regina's eyes fluttered back open, Emma kissed her cheek, loosening her grip but leaving her arms around Regina. "If I need help, I'll call for you. I promise. But I really am okay. It's not as if what happened this morning happens every time I try and get in a tub."

Regina sighed softly but she seemed calmer now. "You did scare me," she admitted quietly.

"I know," Emma smiled gently, kissing Regina's cheek again, "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," Regina turned her head so that she could kiss Emma chastely on the lips, "Just try not to do it again."

Emma smiled that same gentle smile, "I'll do my best."

xxxxxx

Bedtime came early that night.

Her almost two month old, coupled with worry over her fight with Emma, had prevented Regina from getting much sleep the last few nights, so when eighty thirty rolled around and it was clear that Emma's eyes were barely open any more, Regina stretched on the couch and said, "I think I'm going to go to bed."

Emma rubbed at her eyes with the back of her hand, "Yeah, me too."

Regina carried Henry upstairs, Emma trailing just behind her. Once they were on the landing that things got slightly awkward.

Emma's gaze drifted uncertainly between the door to the guest room she'd stayed in all the previous times she'd slept here and the door to the master bedroom.

Regina shifted Henry in her arms and said carefully, "Do you think Henry waking up through the night will bother you too much? He usually wakes up three or four times." Henry was still too young to sleep in his own room. Currently Regina had his bassinet set up right beside her bed.

Emma gnawed her lip a moment but then she shrugged, "Probably not."

"Alright, then sleep in the master bedroom," Regina said. It was phrased like a statement but her words still carried a question with them. The few times she'd spent the night in Boston since they'd become a couple, they'd shared Emma's bed but Regina didn't want to presume anything. She wanted nothing more than to snuggle up next to Emma but only if that was what Emma wanted too.

"Okay," Emma agreed easily, her previous tension melting away.

Regina smiled at her and led the way into the master bedroom. She settled Henry into his bassinet, and then slipped into the bathroom to change into her pajamas and brush her teeth.

Emma, who Regina knew had started only brushing her teeth in the morning when her mouth was sore, was already under the covers when Regina reemerged from the bathroom.

"I assumed you sleep on the side beside Henry's bassinet?" Emma mumbled, blinking her eyes open a crack to stare over at Regina.

"Yes," Regina smiled, climbing up onto the bed beside Emma.

Emma, curled up in a ball on her side, immediately shuffled closer, her head bumping against Regina's shoulder. Regina smiled again fondly as she wrapped an arm around Emma's back, encouraging her to move even closer.

Emma didn't need much encouragement and she shuffled until her head was resting on Regina's chest and she sighed in what seemed to be contentment.

Regina rubbed Emma's back, dropping a kiss to the top of her bald head and whispering, "I'm glad you're here."

"Me too," Emma mumbled, her voice thick with sleep and within minutes her breathing had evened out as dream land claimed her.

xxxxxx

Emma's slept restlessly that night. Regina kept murmuring soft apologies any time Henry woke screaming and Emma's eyes cracked open but Emma actually thought that she'd slept better than usual. She was always unsettled the Saturday night post chemo and she felt like she'd tossed and turned and woken less than usual.

Sun was now streaming through the blinds and she stretched slowly, her eyes blinking open as she realized she was alone in the bed. She definitely hadn't heard Regina or Henry get up and a quick glance at the alarm clock told her it was after 10 o'clock. The last thing she remembered was it being 2 am, which meant that she'd definitely slept better than usual.

Emma stayed in bed awhile longer until the pressure on her bladder became too insistent and she was forced to leave the warm cocoon of blankets in the most comfortable bed she'd ever slept in.

After she was done in the washroom and had brushed her teeth, she tugged on a hoodie, and headed down the stairs in search of Regina and Henry.

She found them in the kitchen, Henry in his baby seat and Regina sitting at the table reading the newspaper, glasses perched on the bridge of her nose. Emma leaned against the door frame and just watched them. It felt surreal, that these people were hers. It was the Sunday post chemo, four and a half months into rigorous treatment, she felt absolutely awful, but standing here watching Regina and Henry she sort of didn't even care. This must be what love was, right?

Probably sensing the eyes watching her, Regina looked up from her paper, brown eyes locking with green ones. "Emma," Regina smiled, "You're awake."

Emma nodded, smiling back, but she didn't immediately make a move, just stayed where she was leaning against the door frame.

"I'm sorry Henry woke you up so much last night," Regina looked truly apologetic.

"He didn't actually," Emma shook her head.

Regina quirked a disbelieving eyebrow.

"Honestly," Emma told her, "I slept better than I usually do Saturday night post chemo."

Regina's eyebrow quirked just a little higher, "Really?"

Emma couldn't help but chuckle at the expression, pushing herself off of the door frame and walking over to the table. "Yes, really," she smiled fondly, kissing Regina's cheek and dropping into the chair beside her.

Regina pulled her glasses off, setting them on the table and pushing her chair back, "I'll make you breakfast."

"I'm not hungry," Emma shrugged, slouching down in the chair.

"You have to eat," Regina said firmly, eyeing Emma with the look that meant this wasn't up for debate.

"Fine," Emma grumbled but she couldn't stop the smile that tugged at her lips when Regina paused to kiss the top of her head before moving towards the fridge to make Emma the promised breakfast.

xxxxxx

Later that day, Regina worked on dinner while Emma and Henry slept in the living room.

Or, at least, Regina thought that they were sleeping in the living room. They'd both been out cold when she'd left them - Emma on the couch and Henry in his swinging chair. But she'd only been in the kitchen twenty minutes when she heard Emma shout.

"Regina!"

Regina's heart immediately began to race, panic and fear bubbling in her chest as she rushed from the kitchen to the living room, sliding to a halt at the sight she was met with.

Emma was sitting up on the couch, Henry was in her lap, facing her with his feet pressed to her stomach, Emma was holding his hands and grinning down at him.

As Regina approached the couch, Emma looked up at her, her grin widening even further, looking perhaps happier than Regina had ever seen her look. "He's smiling!" Emma rushed out, the joy in her voice obvious.

"He is not," Regina said in complete disbelief, her heart rate slowing, her panic ebbing, as she moved over to the couch and sat herself down beside Emma, pressing close to her side so that she could see Henry's squishy little face. He didn't seem to be smiling now. "He isn't smiling," she repeated, this time more disappointed than disbelieving.

"Oh come on kid," Emma moved his arms, "Aren't you going to smile for your mommy?"

Henry's eyes widened at the sound of Emma's voice and then it happened, his lips tugged into a gummy baby smile.

Regina's heart was so full of love in that moment that she thought it might burst. This was perhaps the best thing she'd ever seen. Her precious baby boy was smiling up at Emma. Henry was smiling the most adorable smile of any baby she'd ever seen. She didn't care that she would probably be called biased for that opinion.

"Good job," Emma cooed at him, grinning that dopey happy grin again, "Good job Henry." She glanced over at Regina, "See?"

"I do see," Regina smiled. She pressed even closer to Emma, Emma leaning over slightly so that Regina's head would appear directly above Henry. Regina settled a hand on his belly and Henry stared up at her, all wide eyes and long eyelashes, "Can you smile again for mommy my little prince?"

At the sound of her voice, just as he'd done at the sound of Emma's, Henry's eyes widened and he flashed her a gummy baby smile.

Regina was grinning just as idiotically as Emma now.

xxxxxx

Regina assumed that with Emma still recovering from chemo, Monday would be much like Sunday - spent curled up on the couch watching movies. But when they moved into the living room after a breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast that Emma barely touched (one more thing for Regina to cross off her list of foods that Emma might actually want to eat), Emma refused to lie down.

Instead Emma sat upright on the couch, one knee constantly bobbing up and down, her fingers fidgeting - sometimes twisting together in her lap, sometimes tapping against the side of the couch.

By halfway through the movie, Regina couldn't ignore it anymore. Looking over at Emma she asked carefully, "Are you okay?"

Emma's fingers stilled their current rhythm against the couch cushion, although her knee continued to bounce up and down. She turned her head slowly to meet Regina's worried gaze, "Yeah, I'm fine."

Regina was unconvinced and she quirked an eyebrow, reaching over and settling a hand on Emma's shoulder, rubbing a gentle pattern with just the pad of her thumb, "What's with the fidgeting, then?"

Emma looked from Regina down to her still bouncing knee, stilling the motion as if she just realized she was doing it. She looked back at Regina and shrugged, "It's just a Monday thing."

Regina eyed her curiously, "A Monday thing?"

Emma shrugged again, her knee resuming its bounce almost of its own volition, "Yeah. I don't know. I'm just restless." She sighed, "I'm always restless on the Monday following chemo. It's not a big deal."

Regina ignored Emma's it's not a big deal and instead focused on the other part of what she'd said. "Restless how?" She asked, her thumb still rubbing gently against Emma's shoulder. She wanted to understand what exactly it was Emma was feeling, wanted to understand what was making her so very clearly uncomfortable.

Emma shrugged yet again, "I don't know…" her forehead scrunched up, as if she was thinking hard about the question. After a minute the wrinkles in her forehead smoothed and she held up a hand, palm facing outwards, and she shook it side to side, "That's what my insides feel like. Like... vibrating. My brain feels the same. It's like... all I want to do is get up and run."

Regina's head tilted, the motion of her thumb finally stilling on Emma's shoulder. She wasn't quite sure she understood what Emma meant by vibrating but she understood enough to know that sitting here wasn't what Emma needed right now. "Do you want to do something? Go for a walk maybe?"

Emma sighed deeply, "No. I…that's the problem with Monday's. Everything is humming. My brain is screaming. But my body is still a mess. I couldn't walk around the block right now if my life depended on it."

Emma sounded so defeated and it made Regina's heart ache. She'd never been with Emma on a Monday post chemo before and she hadn't had any clue that it was a day where she felt so awful. She was glad, at least, that Emma was willing to be honest about how she felt. Regina was sure that there must be something she could do to help. There must be a better option for Emma than sitting here on the couch. She glanced around the room, her eye catching a painting of a horse mounted on the wall, an idea striking her. For many years when he'd been alive, her father had bought her horse themed puzzles. She hadn't done one in many years but the entire collection was carefully stored in a closet in one of the guest rooms upstairs. "What about a puzzle?" she made the suggestion.

Emma's brow crinkled in confusion, "A puzzle?"

"Yes," Regina nodded, "Like a jigsaw puzzle. We could set it up on the dining room table. It doesn't require much energy or thought but it is something different than just sitting here."

Emma's brow remained crinkled a moment but then she shrugged, "Sure, why not."

xxxxxx

Regina showed Emma the carefully stacked puzzles lining the closet shelves of one of the upstairs guest rooms.

"Wow," Emma said as she studied them, a finger reaching out to trace along the edges of the boxes, "I didn't know you liked horses so much."

"I used to ride a lot," Regina answered, a hand reaching up to smooth her hair.

Emma glanced away from the shelves and over at Regina curiously, "Really?"

"Yes," Regina nodded, "I actually had a horse growing up. Rocinante."

Emma laughed, a sharp loud chuckle filled with amusement, "Of course you did."

Regina shrugged a shoulder. Lots of her friends had had horses, it wasn't such a big deal. Although she supposed in contrast to Emma's childhood, having a horse probably did seem like quite a big deal.

Emma's head tilted, looking curious again. "You said used to ride. You don't anymore?"

"No," Regina shook her head.

"How come?" Emma asked, still looking curious.

Regina's lips pursed. She'd unintentionally started an uncomfortable conversation and now she wasn't sure what to do about it. She could push it off, say something vague. She knew Emma wouldn't push if she said she didn't want to talk about it. But, the odd thing was, she realized that she did want to talk about it. She wanted Emma to know what had happened. "Daniel," she said, and the way Emma's eyes widened told Regina that that alone could be explanation enough, but she continued, her words quiet and serious, "He was a stable hand at the stable where I boarded Rocinante. That's how we met," Regina swallowed thickly, "He was a good man. Kind and gentle. And he was so good with the horses." She paused. She'd never actually told anyone this before. Had never actually said it out loud.

Emma was watching her with green eyes filled with such compassion. Emma reached forward and snagged Regina's hand, lacing their fingers together and squeezing tightly, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

Regina blinked slowly, swallowing again, "I do want to." She squeezed Emma's hand back and then finished the story, her voice flat, "There was a fire. Daniel tried his best to save the horses but he got trapped in the barn…" she did stop there. There was no need to finish. No need to say what was clear - Daniel and Rocinante had both died in that fire and Regina had packed up all her things and moved with a broken heart to Storybrooke. After a decade it didn't hurt quite as bad as it used to. Saying it out loud actually hurt less than she imagined it would - as if she were sharing a weight that had always laid on her shoulders, lightening the load.

Emma dropped Regina's hand and closed the remaining distance between them, wrapping her arms tightly around Regina, pulling her so close that it almost seemed like she was trying to fold Regina into herself. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that," Emma whispered.

Regina said nothing, just buried her head in the crook of Emma's neck, breathing in the scent of body wash and what she was pretty sure was the shampoo she kept in the master bathroom - although she didn't understand why Emma would be using shampoo.

Emma pressed a kiss into Regina's hair, standing perfectly still for the first time that day, as if her own discomfort suddenly meant little to her, and all that mattered was comforting Regina.

Overwhelming emotion bubbled in Regina's chest and she wouldn't have been able to hold back the words that spilled out even if she wanted to. "I love you," Regina murmured quietly, her head still buried in the crook of Emma's neck.

Emma said nothing, just held Regina a little tighter and kissed her head again. Regina could almost feel the vibration under Emma's skin now, could sense her need to move, and yet Emma remained still, stable, strong, a calming presence. Emma remained exactly what Regina needed in that moment

It wasn't I love you but it felt the same.

xxxxxx

Eventually they broke apart and Emma picked out a 1000 piece puzzle with two horses and a foal galloping through a field of flowers, which they brought downstairs to the dining room table.

Emma upended the box, pieces spilling every which way onto the table, while Regina watched a bit horrified. Her horror only mounted when Emma turned over only half of the pieces and then started trying to fit together pieces seemingly at random with one hand, while her other hand tapped against the edge of the table, one of her knees resuming the bounce from earlier on the couch.

"What are you doing?" Regina eyed Emma like she'd lost her mind and started turning pieces over so that they were all face up. Who did a puzzle with half of the pieces facing down?

"Umm…." Emma looked up confused, "the puzzle?"

"You're supposed to start with the border," Regina told her seriously, shaking her head as Emma managed to snap two non-border pieces together with one hand, the other hand still drumming against the table. Had Emma never done a puzzle before?

Emma eyed Regina strangely a long moment and then she barked out a laugh, her eyes twinkling in amusement.

"Are you laughing at me?" Regina quirked an eyebrow at her, although she was having a hard time suppressing a smile at Emma's amusement, which was adorable.

"Yes," Emma didn't even try to deny it, laughing again, "I didn't know you were the puzzle police."

Regina swatted playfully at Emma's arm, "That's not nice."

"Owww," Emma rubbed her arm in an exaggerated manner, "How am I the not nice one? You just hit me. That's very not nice. I have cancer you know."

Regina rolled her eyes, laughing, "You choose now to play the cancer card?"

Emma shrugged, smirking in complete amusement, "Maybe."

Any response that Regina might have given was lost when Henry started wailing. Regina left Emma with the puzzle to go retrieve him. She made him a bottle and then headed back into the dining room, settling down in a chair beside Emma to feed Henry.

Emma still wasn't working on the border but her leg wasn't bouncing anymore and her hand wasn't tapping against the table, her full concentration on the pieces in front of her. Regina supposed she could live with Emma's unconventional approach so long as working on this puzzle was helping her unease.

As if reading her mind, Emma chose that moment to glance over at Regina, smiling.

Regina smiled back.

Emma reached over, rubbing the top of Henry's head gently as he guzzled his bottle. Her smile turned into a smirk. "You know, someday I'm going to teach Henry that the best way to start a puzzle is with the eyes."

"You most certainly will not," Regina said firmly, her eyes narrowed at Emma, even as her heart did a happy flip.

Emma laughed, "We'll see."

It wasn't I love you but someday and we'll see, words that promised a future together, felt the same.

xxxxxx

On Wednesday they finally left the house, taking the short walk to Granny's, Emma pushing the stroller and Regina walking in step beside her.

It was too early for lunch but Emma needed a break before she'd be up to walking back to the manor, so they went inside and slid into what was starting to seem like their usual booth.

When Ruby came over, Regina ordered a coffee but Emma just shook her head when Ruby asked if she wanted something.

Ruby returned quickly with Regina's coffee and a plate that she set down in front of Emma, "Granny says eat that. On the house."

Emma stared in surprise at the plate in front of her - it had a pastry on it. She glanced curiously back up at Ruby, the question written all over her face.

"It's a bear claw," Ruby explained, "Granny says you should eat more."

Emma's eyes narrowed in Regina's direction, "Did you put her up to this?"

"Yes," Regina said dryly, "We discussed it at the secret meeting of the Emma Needs to Eat More Club."

Ruby laughed and Emma scowled at both of them, rolling her eyes, but then with a soft sigh she told Ruby, "Tell Granny thanks."

"Sure," Ruby nodded and disappeared back towards the kitchen.

Emma looked back at the plate. It would probably be rude to not have at least some of this bear claw. She tore a piece of the pastry and popped into her mouth. It tasted surprisingly good. The dough was soft and sweet. It was probably the best thing she'd eaten in months. She could feel Regina's eyes on her as she tore another piece off. Emma looked across the table and shrugged, as if to say, 'so what'.

Regina said nothing.

By the time Ruby returned to top up Regina's coffee, Emma had eaten the entire bear claw.

"I take it you liked that?" Ruby motioned to the empty plate.

"Actually, yes," Emma smiled, sounding surprised, "I really did."

"Seriously?" Regina quirked an eyebrow at Emma from across the table, "I've been trying forever to find something you'd like to eat and this is it? This sugary, no nutritional value, pastry is the thing?"

"Sorry?" Emma shrugged almost sheepishly, smirking at Regina.

Regina shook her head but she smiled at Emma, "I suppose it's still calories. And you could certainly use those. If you really like it, we'll get one every day."

Emma laughed.

"You going to have them shipped to Boston?" Ruby joked.

"Actually..." Emma glanced quickly over at Regina. Regina was still smiling so Emma guessed it was okay for her to continue, "I'm sort of living in Storybrooke. For now."

Ruby's eyes widened in surprise and then her lips tugged into a slow, amused, smile. She waggled her eyebrows up and down, "Oh really."

Emma blushed.

Regina was the one to answer, "Really."

xxxxxx

Kathryn called just after lunch, wasting little time after Regina picked up the phone to say, "What is this I hear about Emma moving in with you?"

"I see that the gossip mill is still in working order," Regina said instead of actually answering and then after a beat added, "Ruby told you, I take it?"

"Yes, she did," Kathryn confirmed, "Although I don't understand why I had to hear it at Granny's instead of from you, my supposed friend."

"Kathryn…" Regina sighed softly, apologetically.

"Oh relax, I know you have a baby and a girlfriend with cancer. You're busy. I get it. I'm just bothering you," Kathryn laughed into the phone, "Emma forgave you then I take it?"

"Yes," Regina breathed out.

"Good," Kathryn's reply was soft now, sincere.

"Yes," Regina agreed. It was really good.

xxxxxx

"I think I'm going to have to go back to work after your next treatment," Regina sighed a few nights later after dinner. They were in the living room, curled up together on the couch, Emma's head resting in Regina's lap, Henry across from them, asleep in his swinging chair. Regina had put off her return to work as long as possible but she really couldn't leave the Town to run itself much longer. Not that she didn't trust the deputy mayor to do a good job in her absence - well, actually, who was she kidding, she didn't, which was why she really did need to get back to work.

"Really?" Emma rotated her head so that she was looking up at Regina.

"Yes. I don't think I can put it off more than a couple more weeks," Regina sighed again, "I wonder how Henry will do at daycare. What if he doesn't like it?"

"I've been thinking about that," Emma said.

"You have?" Regina looked down at her, eyeing her curiously, wondering when exactly Emma had been thinking about Henry going to daycare and why.

"Mmhm," Emma nodded, pushing herself into a seated position with a groan. She pulled one leg and then the other up onto the couch, now sitting cross legged facing Regina. "I know you've got it all lined up for when you go back to work...but I was thinking...what if I watch Henry?"

Regina's eyebrow arched towards her hairline of their own accord.

Emma held up a hand to stop her from saying anything, "No, no. Don't look at me like that. Hear me out. Obviously I can't watch him on cancer centre days. And probably not, like, the Friday or Monday following chemo. But my two worst days are Saturday and Sunday. When you're home. And all the other days but those ones are...manageable. I mean I sleep a lot. But Henry sleeps a lot too. I can nap when he naps. Why pay for daycare when I'll just be here by myself being all bored and alone…."

The rambling was adorable and Regina let it go on for awhile before she finally cut Emma off, "You're supposed to be resting and taking care of yourself. You shouldn't have to take care of an infant at the same time."

Emma just shook her head stubbornly, "Didn't you hear the part about all of the naps?"

Regina quirked an eyebrow, "And what about the dizziness?"

"I'm careful with Henry. I never stand up from a seated position while I'm holding him since that first time. And that's really the worst cause of dizziness," Emma said quickly, her posture suddenly just a bit defensive.

Regina reached over and settled a hand on Emma's knee, shaking her head and saying softly, "That's not what I meant. Of course you're careful with Henry. Of course you would do a great job watching him. I just worry about you. I don't want you to wear yourself out anymore than you already are."

"Oh…" Emma's eyes widened a little but she relaxed, waving Regina off with a hand, "I'd be fine." Emma eyed her with hopeful eyes then, an expression that could only be compared to that of a puppy, "Just...think about it, please."

Regina couldn't help the soft chuckle that escaped her lips at Emma's expression. "Okay," she agreed but then she sobered a bit, "But only if…" she swallowed, choosing her words carefully, "only if you really want to do this and it's not just something you think you should." She was worried that this offer might be an extension of Emma's guilt about the way her cancer impacted their lives. They hadn't really talked about it since Emma moved in. Regina was pretty sure her declaration of love followed by the offer for Emma to move to Storybrooke had abated some of Emma's feeling of not being enough but she doubted they'd just vanished completely. She knew that it would just take time. Maybe someday when they'd been together long enough, when Regina had really proved that she wasn't leaving, Emma would believe then.

Emma shook her head, looking mildly affronted that Regina would even ask, "I want to." She sighed, the tension that had suddenly crept up in her shoulders easing some, "Please just think about it." This time the request wasn't accompanied by the earnest puppy dog expression.

"Okay," Regina said.

"Thanks," Emma smiled softly, the remainder of her tension easing.

Regina smiled too. "I meant, okay, you can watch Henry some days. I'll talk to the daycare and work out a schedule," she clarified because she was pretty sure Emma had misunderstood.

"Really?" Emma asked, surprised and pleased all at once.

"Yes, really," Regina confirmed with a half-chuckle, half-sigh. She couldn't help but think Emma's expression was adorable but the question itself was a little too close to the self-doubt that Regina just wanted to take away. She rubbed Emma's knee gently, needing to reassure her, "If you say you're up for it, I believe you. And there's no one I trust with Henry more than you."

Emma's grin softened, her eyes reflecting how much that seemed to mean to her. She swallowed thickly but didn't say anything.

Regina quirked an eyebrow at her, adding, "And I also trust that if it ends up being too much for you, then you will tell me and not just pretend that everything is fine. Got it?"

"Yes dear," Emma barked out a laugh, leaning forward and kissing Regina's cheek.

Regina rolled her eyes at the yes dear but she twisted her head so that her lips connected with Emma's.

They both sighed contently, leaning into the kiss.

xxxxxx

Regina arranged it so that, once she went back to work, Henry would go to daycare on the Wednesday, Thursday, Friday of Emma's chemo treatment week and on the Monday, Tuesday of the week following treatment.

Before Regina actually went back to work though, Emma had to get through her next treatment, which also meant Henry having a trial run at the daycare.

The Wednesday morning of chemo 5B was filled with a flutter of nerves.

"But what if something happens? You'll be an hour away," Emma gnawed on her lip, sitting cross legged on the bed while Regina packed Henry's diaper bag.

They'd already talked about this, more than once. Henry would be fine. The home daycare he was going to was the best one in town, she'd made sure of it. Emma's worry was endearing though and in an odd way it made her feel calmer. If Emma was going to be panicked, then she had to be calm - they certainly couldn't both be panicked. "An hour isn't that far," Regina told her as she zipped the bag up, "And nothing is going to happen."

Emma gnawed her lip some more, "Are you sure we can't just bring him with us?"

"Yes," Regina nodded.

"Fine," Emma sighed exaggeratedly.

Regina shook her head, moving over to the edge of the bed, leaning over so that she could press her lips firmly to Emma's, "I love you."

Emma smiled into the kiss, sighing contently.

And it wasn't I love you but Emma's concern over Henry felt the same.

xxxxxx

Later, sitting in one of the recliners in the chemo suite, Emma watched bright red medication travel through the syringe up through the tube that connected to her port. She was only half listening to Mary Margaret drone on about the nice spring weather they'd been having. As Mary Margaret kept talking, Emma glanced over at Regina.

Regina seemed to be paying just as little attention to Mary Margaret's prattling as Emma was. She was actually looking at her phone. She must sense Emma's eyes on her though because she looked up.

Emma quirked a non-existent eyebrow at Regina, smiling.

Regina smiled back.

Mary Margaret finished pushing the Adriamycin and got the Bleomycin set up and dripping through the IV pump and then she walked away. Once she was gone, Emma asked Regina, "Should we call the daycare?"

Regina quirked an eyebrow at her, "Why?"

"To make sure Henry is doing okay," Emma said, as if that should have been obvious to Regina.

Regina chuckled lightly, "He's fine, Emma."

"How do you know?" Emma shook her head, "Why aren't you freaking out?"

Regina laughed again, reaching over and patting Emma's leg, "I think you've got the market on freaking out cornered."

Emma narrowed her eyes at her.

"Also," Regina added smoothly, "I just got this…" she held up her phone, showing it to Emma.

Emma grabbed the phone and studied the screen. It was a photo of Henry sound asleep at the daycare. Emma shook her head at Regina, her eyes still narrowed, "You're awful. You couldn't have just led with that?"

Regina chuckled again, shrugging a shoulder as she took the phone back from Emma,"What fun would that be?"

Emma rolled her eyes but it was impossible to keep the smile off of her face.

xxxxxx

There was a big difference between driving the ten minutes to Emma's apartment and driving the hour and a bit to Storybrooke after treatment.

By the time they made it to Henry's daycare, Emma was passed out cold, scrunched up in a ball in the passenger seat.

Regina slipped out of the car as quietly as possible, managing to get Henry loaded into the backseat and drive home without waking Emma. Once she was parked and the car was turned off she reached over and shook Emma's shoulder gently, "Emma, Emma, time to wake up."

Emma groaned, shrugging away from Regina's touch, curling into a tighter ball and mumbling something unintelligible.

"Emma," Regina nudged Emma's shoulder again, "We're home."

Emma grumbled something unintelligible again but she stretched, rotating in her seat and eying Regina with bleary, confused, eyes, "Home?"

"Yes," Regina smiled fondly at Emma's sleepy expression, repeating, "We're home."

"Mmm…" Emma smiled, her eyes closing.

"No," Regina said, nudging Emma's shoulder once more, "Don't go back to sleep. We're going inside."

Green eyes blinked back open slowly, "Do we have to?"

"Yes," Regina nodded, amused now.

"M'kay," Emma mumbled still clearly half asleep. She groaned as she sat up straighter, unsnapping her seatbelt and getting out of the car, letting herself be led into the house.

xxxxxx

Emma's recovery from her second chemo treatment of her fifth cycle was unremarkable.

There was a lot of lying around, warm baths, watching movies but missing half of the plot because she'd fallen asleep, working on the puzzle still spread out on the dining room table and, when almost a week had past, a short trip out of the house to Granny's mostly because Emma was going stir crazy.

This was the truth about cancer that Hollywood didn't tell, Emma thought. It was long, and monotonous, and often oh so very boring.

The Friday evening of the week following the latest chemo treatment, Kathryn and Frederick invited Regina and Emma over for dinner.

The meal was nice, mashed potatoes and green beans and chicken, but Emma mostly just pushed food around her plate. Kathryn had served and she'd put twice as much food on Emma's plate as Emma's stomach would ever be willing to accept, even on a day like today where she was feeling sort of decent, or as decent as she ever felt after five months of chemo. When Henry started crying from his seat beside the table, Emma took the opportunity to abandon her meal and she bounced up and out of her seat to get him. "Bottle is in his diaper bag, right?" Emma asked as she scooped Henry out of his seat and cooed softly to him, his cries dying.

"Yes," Regina confirmed from her seat still at the table.

Emma nodded but then paused, thinking twice about actually leaning over to get it from the bag on the ground. It was the kind of motion that might cause a wave of dizziness, something she wasn't willing to risk with Henry in her arms. She didn't really want to put him back down either.

Regina seemed to understand the dilemma though because she said, "Sit, I'll get it," already pushing herself out of her chair.

Emma didn't argue, just slid back into her chair at the table. She smiled appreciatively as Regina handed over the bottle, Regina's hand running across Emma's back as she passed by to settle back into the seat beside Emma's.

Emma shifted Henry carefully, giving him the bottle, which he immediately began guzzling. She watched him a few minutes before she looked up at the other occupants of the table.

Kathryn was watching her and when their eyes met, she smiled. "You know…" Kathryn said, her head tipping in Regina's direction, "You should have told me you were going to adopt a baby and start dating. That's better PR than anything I could dream up. You didn't really need my help."

Regina scoffed, shaking her head, "I'm not sure that's the kind of PR my mother had in mind when she called you."

Kathryn laughed, "No, probably not."

Emma's forehead scrunched up in confusion. She glanced at Frederick thinking he might be confused too but, if he was, he didn't look so. Emma glanced at Regina, her expression still conveying her confusion, "PR?"

Regina eyes widened slightly, looking almost startled, and she swallowed before she explained carefully, "I mentioned to my mother that I may consider running for congress someday. My mother, of course, took that to mean I was definitely running for congress in the next election and thought I needed a publicist if I was going to be successful. She called Kathryn."

Emma tried to follow but she was still feeling confused. She glanced down at Henry, pulling the half finished bottle out his mouth and setting it on the table. He fussed a little as she raised him into a seated position, his head supported with one hand as she patted his back gently with the other so that he would burp. "I don't understand. You want to be a congresswoman?" Emma asked uncertainly as she continued to gently pat Henry's back.

"No," Regina shook her head, "Certainly not right now."

Henry burped and Emma cooed at him, "Good boy," before resettling him in her arms and bringing the bottle back to his lips. Satisfied that Henry was drinking okay, she looked back up, glancing between Regina and Kathryn, "I still don't think I understand...if you don't want to run for congress...then what's Kathryn helping with?"

Regina and Kathryn looked at each other and Emma could tell by the expression on Kathryn's face that she was surprised that Emma didn't already know whatever she was about to be told.

Regina ran a hand through her hair and explained, "Kathryn convinced me that even if I didn't plan to run for congress a little PR might be beneficial to ensure that I won the next mayoral election. She suggested that most of the townspeople found me...aloof, I believe is the word she used." She shot a look at Kathryn.

Kathryn pulled a face, mouthing 'sorry' at Regina, although managing to not look all that sorry.

"Okay…" Emma said slowly, finally sort of understanding. She glanced back down at Henry in her arms, he was almost done the bottle now. "So what PR have you done?" she asked.

Regina looked suddenly hesitant, uncertain, "Well...Kathryn suggested that some volunteer work might go a long way."

Oh. Emma looked up from Henry, glancing between Kathryn and Regina and then she couldn't help but laugh.

Regina quirked a curious eyebrow at her but overall she seemed relieved. Emma could only guess that she hadn't been sure how Emma would take the news that her stint as a cancer centre volunteer had been for the sake of PR.

Emma shook her head, still laughing lightly a moment longer. Henry finished his bottle and she set it on the table, lifting him back up so that she could burp him again. "Well…" she said, her words directed at Regina, "I guess this means Kathryn is kind of responsible for us meeting?" She looked around the table, her eyes settling on Kathryn, "So uh…thanks Kathryn." She grinned, "If I'd known I would have brought you a thank you gift."

Everyone else at the table laughed then too.

xxxxxx

Emma rested her head against the window on the drive home from Kathryn and Frederick's. It was still early but she was exhausted. Social interaction had sapped any reserve energy she had to spend on the day. Still looking out the window, watching Storybrooke pass by, Emma said, "Your mom sure likes to meddle, huh?"

Emma could feel Regina's eyes on her and she pulled her head off the window so that she could look over to meet curious brown eyes.

"Yes…" Regina said carefully, her eyes turning back to the road.

They rode in silence a moment and then Regina was looking over at Emma again, almost suspiciously, "Are you just talking about her calling Kathryn?"

Emma tried to ignore the scrutinizing gaze, shrugging, "Yeah."

It wasn't convincing enough though because Regina quirked an eyebrow at her as she turned onto Mifflin Street. "Emma," she said knowingly.

Emma squirmed in her seat as they turned into the driveway. She hadn't really meant to bring this up. She just hadn't been thinking. This was what happened when she was exhausted.

Regina turned off the car and unsnapped her seatbelt, spinning in her seat to face Emma, eyeing her even more carefully than before. "Tell me what she did," Regina said evenly, her words so serious, so knowing.

Emma swallowed, unsnapping her own seatbelt, "It's not a big deal." There was no sense denying that Cora had done something because Regina so clearly already knew.

"Emma," Regina quirked an eyebrow at her again.

Emma rubbed the back of her neck, "She just said some stuff."

"What stuff," Regina implored, clearly not willing to accept anything but the full truth.

Emma sighed, "Just that you wouldn't break up with me because you couldn't see what was good for you and Henry and that what was good for you and Henry wasn't me. It's not a big deal."

Regina's jaw tightened and anger flashed through her eyes like flickering flames. "So when I told her there was no way I was leaving you, she tried to convince you to break up with me instead?" she asked tightly.

Emma shrugged her shoulders, "Yeah. But...I mean...it didn't work. Obviously."

"Emma…" Regina sighed softly, reaching across the divide between them and settling a hand on her shoulder, "Why didn't you say anything?"

Emma looked away from Regina, staring at her feet as she ran a hand over the top of her head, the feeling of the smoothness under her fingertips still impossibly odd, even after months. Emma looked up from her feet and back over at Regina but she just shrugged not sure what to say.

Something knowing flickered through Regina's eyes and she said certainly, "Because you believed her."

Emma sighed, seeing no choice but to confirm, "Yes. I believed her at the time."

"And now?" Regina asked softly, nothing but compassion in her eyes now.

Emma swallowed thickly, considering her response. "I'm working on it," she finally said, deciding the truth was better than platitude. And she was working on it. It wasn't easy to erase feelings of not being enough. Those feelings didn't just magically vanish because Regina had said she loved her. Not when Emma had been not enough long before cancer. Not Enough could probably be the title of her autobiography, she thought.

Regina rubbed Emma's shoulder gently. "You are good for Henry and I. More than good," she said certainly.

"I know you think so," Emma's words were nearly whispered. And she did know. Regina made sure she did all the time.

Regina smiled gently at her, "I want you to think so too."

Emma tilted her head, studying Regina carefully, silent a long moment. "I didn't leave you," was what she said when she finally did speak. And it wasn't quite a response to what Regina had said but, in a way, it also was. Because it would have been so easy to run. She was good at running. But she hadn't. And that meant something.

Regina smiled again, so gentle and understanding, "I know."

Emma smiled too, and suddenly unable to contain herself, she leaned over and pressed her lips to Regina's, a hand reaching up and tangling in Regina's dark hair as they deepened the kiss.

Eventually Emma pulled back, panting hard, her forehead resting against Regina's, green eyes staring directly into brown owns. "I didn't leave you," she repeated her previous words more firmly, but then her voice got soft, quiet, "I didn't leave you because...I-" the words nearly stuck in her throat like they had so many times before, but unlike all of those previous times, she just couldn't seem to contain them anymore. It didn't even matter that this wasn't at all how she knew you were supposed to say these things. It didn't matter that there was nothing romantic about sitting in the car in the dark in their driveway. What mattered was that her heart was racing impossibly fast and her breath was still just a little too ragged and those three little words that she'd never said to anyone before refused to be contained, escaping as a gentle whisper. "I love you."

"I know," Regina whispered back just as gently, "I love you too."

They kissed again.

xxxxxx

"I can't believe I'm starting back to work in two days," Regina said the following night, lying in bed beside Emma.

"I know," Emma agreed, rolling over and shuffling in the bed so that she was closer to Regina. She draped an arm across Regina's stomach, settling her head on her chest, content to listen to the sound of Regina's heart beating in her ear for awhile. But she had other ideas, and eventually she propped herself up, turning her head just enough so that she could press soft kisses into Regina's collarbone and up the side of her neck, nibbling on her ear lobe ever so gently.

Regina moaned softly as Emma's lips moved from her ear across her jawline over to her lips. Emma's tongue darted out and pushed into Regina's mouth as she readjusted her position on the bed, tangling one of her legs with Regina's, a hand reaching up to cup one of Regina's breasts through her silk pajama top.

Regina moaned louder into the kiss and Emma moved her hand so that she could slip it under Regina's pajama top. She palmed Regina's breasts without the obstruction of the top material now, rolling one nipple, and then the other, between her fingertips.

Regina kissed Emma more urgently then, moving almost restlessly against Emma. Emma moved her hand again, sliding it down the plane of Regina's stomach and stopping at the waistband of Regina's pajama bottoms. She slid her fingers just under the waistband and stilled her hand, pulling back from the kiss just enough so that she could look Regina in the eye, looking for permission.

There seemed to be a question in Regina's eyes but Emma wasn't quite sure what that question was. "Okay?" Emma asked, her hand dipping just a little lower.

Regina's pupils were already wide but they dilated further at the question and all she seemed to be able to do was nod her head, yes.

Emma smiled as she crashed their lips back together and she slid her hand lower, dipping into Regina's underwear, stroking gently and then more firmly through the wetness she found there, over and over and over, until Regina was panting hard, breaking their kiss to call out, "Emma," her whole body shuddering as she came undone.

Emma continued to stroke Regina gently through the orgasm until Regina pushed lightly on her arm, clearly too sensitive for any more, and Emma withdrew her hand. She rolled off of Regina and over onto her back. She was panting harder than Regina was. Trying to catch her breath, she closed her eyes and took slow, nearly gasping breaths, her heart racing almost painfully against her rib cage.

When Emma blinked her eyes back open, Regina was staring down at her, that same question from before in her eyes again, except for now Emma understood what it was. "Are you okay?" Regina asked carefully.

"Mmhm," Emma nodded, not trusting her pitiful lung capacity to allow her to say anything else quite yet.

Regina seemed uncertain by the reply but she leaned over and pressed gentle kisses to Emma's jawline. "That was…incredible," she said almost breathlessly between kisses.

Emma smiled a small smile even though she doubted that was really true. She really did want it to be incredible for Regina. But she knew that she was currently woefully limited in capability. Her still heaving chest was proof of that.

Regina seemed to sense her unease, because she stopped kissing Emma's jaw line, propping herself up on an elbow so that she could kiss one eyelid and then the other. Then she kissed Emma's forehead, "Whatever self doubting thing you're thinking in that pretty little head of yours. Stop it."

Emma sighed softly, her heart rate and breathing finally starting to return to normal, her eyes fluttering closed as Regina kissed her forehead again and then moved back to kissing along her jawline and down her neck. Emma's eyes flew back open though when one of Regina's hands settled on her hip bone, dancing slowly towards the waistband of her pajama pants. She reached down and caught Regina's wrist before her hand could reach its destination.

Regina froze, sitting up so that she could catch Emma's eyes, the question written all over her face, "What's wrong?"

Emma gnawed her lip, her cheeks flushing as Regina continued to stare at her, "I don't think...I'm not…" she didn't know how to explain this. It was a little mortifying, even if Regina sort of already knew. "I'm in menopause," she sighed, as if that explained anything.

Regina's forehead scrunched up in confusion. She was still watching Emma with so much concern, "Okay?" It was more of a question than anything. She settled a hand back on Emma's hip, stroking the protruding bone through the fabric of Emma's pajama pants gently, reverently, "If you don't want me to touch you, that's okay. You can say so. You know that, right?"

Emma flushed a deeper shade of red, "I just…"

"Just what?" Regina prodded gently, studying Emma so seriously, her fingers still stroking oh so gently against Emma's hip bone.

"I don't know if I can. You know. I think it would be too difficult. I don't want you to have to…" Emma rambled incoherently. Knowing she wasn't making any sense. The problem was that menopause was awful. Menopause coupled with cancer exhaustion was double awful. Like. She loved kissing Regina. It definitely turned her on. But, where before stupid cancer, and stupid chemo, and stupid menopause, just the sight of Regina would probably be enough to have her dripping, now it was like the bloody Sahara Desert down there. She didn't know how to tell Regina that though. It was mortifying.

Regina was still staring at her with that same much too serious expression, like she wished she could see into Emma's brain. "Emma, I'd really like to know whatever it is you're thinking right now," Regina said gently.

This would be easier if Regina would just let it go and curl up beside her and go to sleep. But of course that was too much to ask. Because she had a caring supportive girlfriend who just wanted to be caring and supportive. Emma sighed heavily but then she decided it was probably better to just get it out before Regina got the wrong idea. "I just don't know if I can...come. Because of the menopause. Things are just weird."

Regina's eyes widened slightly in understanding. "Okay," she said carefully, understanding replaced quickly with worry, as she suddenly looked almost ill, "Is...is it not enjoyable for you? When we kiss?"

"No, no, that's not it," Emma rushed out, shaking her rapidly as she propped herself up on her elbows. She was fucking this up. "I love kissing you. It's great. So great. Like the best kissing ever. My favourite." Those weren't lies.

Regina sighed in what seemed to be immense relief at Emma's earnest over-selling. "Okay, good," she nodded, almost to herself.

"Yes, kissing is good," Emma agreed with a smile, lying herself back down on the bed.

Seemimg to take that as a request, Regina moved back up the bed to press her lips to Emma's, kissing her softly and then nibbling gently on her lower lip and Emma sighed contently. Regina's eyes dipped to Emma's chest, a hand reaching up to brush feather light against some skin exposed by Emma's askew pajama top, "Does it hurt?"

"What?" Emma asked confused until her eyes dipped to see the place Regina was touching. Regina's fingers were resting over the tube that snaked up under Emma's skin from her port to the vein in her neck. The tube was visible like a wire coiled under her skin. "No," Emma shook her head, her eyes closing, "It doesn't hurt. I can't even tell you're touching it. I don't like to touch it myself though. It feels weird when I do."

Regina's fingers stroked gently over it, just barely touching it, ghosting over it really, tracing its path down to press gently against the bump that was the actual port device under Emma's skin. Regina lowered her head and pressed a butterfly kiss to the raised bump that was Emma's port and then she moved up higher and pressed a soft kiss to Emma's cheek. Emma felt hot breath near her ear and then Regina was whispering, "Can I take your shirt off?"

Emma blinked her eyes back open, studying Regina almost confused. She'd thought her explanation about the stupid menopause, and her uncertainty about her body's ability to function correctly, would have made Regina give up. Apparently not. "Okay," she said carefully, hesitantly, sitting up so that Regina could help her tug her shirt over her head. Like Regina, she didn't have a bra on under her pajama top and Emma swallowed thickly as Regina eyed her bare chest.

At Regina's urging, Emma laid back down on the bed. She twitched uncomfortably as one of Regina's hands skittered down her neck towards her left breast and Regina instantly stilled the motion, quirking an uncertain eyebrow, wanting to know what had bothered Emma.

"Nerve damage," Emma explained quietly, "From the biopsy. It tingles when you touch." Her own hand reached up, fingers brushing against the long scar itself.

Regina eyed her seriously, leaning forward to press a gentle kiss to Emma's lips before she sat back up and said, "Show me where the tingling starts and stop."

"Umm…" Emma wasn't really sure herself. After a moment of hesitation, she reached up with her hand and circled Regina's wrist carefully, tugging gently and dragging Regina's hand slowly across the sensitive skin up to her scar, just above the line she stopped, "It stops there."

"Okay," Regina nodded, her fingers tracing the length of the scar but just above it, where Emma's skin didn't tingle. She bent her lips and pressed a row of soft kisses to the same place. "Where else does it stop?" she asked.

Emma reached for Regina's wrist again and dragged it sideways. The tingling extended all the way to her shoulder, and she finally stilled Regina's hand when her fingers were on her left arm, "There."

"Okay," Regina smiled softly, pressing a kiss to that place.

Emma dragged Regina's hand back across her front to the place where the tingling ended on the other side. It didn't spread quite so far on the right side and she stopped the movement of Regina's hand just under her collarbone and just above the swell of her left breast, "And there."

Regina smiled softly again, kissing that place too and then pressing kisses lower and lower, until she was laving Emma's nipple with her tongue, encapsulating the peak with her warm mouth and sucking.

Emma moaned softly as Regina moved from the left breast towards the right, pressing soft kisses in the valley between her breasts, before circling the right nipple with her tongue, paying just as much attention to it as she had the left.

Eventually Regina moved away from Emma's breasts, placing a flurry of kisses along every inch of exposed skin on her abdomen. When her head moved lower, pressing kisses just above the waistband of Emma's pajama bottoms, Regina looked up to meet Emma's eyes, "Do you want me to stop?"

"No," Emma breathed out and she lifted her hips so that Regina could pull her pajama pants and her underwear off.

Emma saw the slight hitch of Regina's eyebrows as she took in her complete nakedness and Emma couldn't help the twitch of a smile at Regina's slight surprise. She was completely bare - because hair was hair and she'd lost it all.

Regina looked up at Emma once more, confirming again with her eyes that this was okay, and then slowly she lowered her mouth to Emma's most sensitive part, licking slowly, gently, with so much care.

Regina reached one hand up the bed without ceasing her ministrations. Her hand fumbling against the sheets a moment until she found Emma's hand. Regina laced their fingers together, squeezing Emma's hand tightly, as she continued to lick and suck.

It was slow and then fast and then slow again, and oh so patient, as Emma's moans grew slowly and steadily until she was gasping out, "Regina, Regina, Regina," squeezing the hand that still held hers like a lifeline, and finally tumbling over the edge.

Emma was still panting lightly moments later when Regina's arms were wrapping tightly around her, pulling Emma close to her body and pressing kisses into the crook of her neck, murmuring, "I love you."

The light panting was ceasing and Emma's eyes were fluttering closed, a mixture of pure bliss and exhaustion tugging her urgently towards unconsciousness. "I love you," Emma mumbled her response, a smile tugging at her lips as she tried unsuccessfully to force her eyes back open.

The last thing she remembered before dream land claimed her was Regina voice whispering in her ear, "Sleep."

xxxxxx

Monday, Regina's first day back at work, came much too quickly for Regina's liking. Regina was surprised at how difficult it truly was to leave Henry and Emma to come to Town Hall. For so many years her job had been everything. But now her everything was back at home.

She'd only been at Town Hall a few hours but she was already debating ducking out and heading home for a short break when her cellphone buzzed. She opened the message and couldn't contain the smile that broke out on her face. It was a message from Emma.

Hope you're having a good day so far. xo.

The phone buzzed again and this time a picture came through. It was of Henry and Emma, lying side by side on the bed. They were both smiling - Henry with his wide gummy baby smile and Emma with a bright smile that made her eyes shine. Regina's own smile widened at the sight.

She was still smiling dopily at the phone when Susan poked her head into the room, asking if she wanted a coffee. Regina swallowed, setting the phone down on her desk, "Yes please, Susan, that would be great," she agreed and her secretary nodded and disappeared to fetch the coffee.

Regina glanced back over at the phone, the picture still up on the screen - this was most definitely going to become her phone background.

It was exactly what she needed to make it through the rest of the morning.

xxxxxx

Regina had two different meetings that afternoon and by the time the second one ended it was thankfully time to head home. Receiving the picture earlier had been nice - but she was ready to actually be home with Henry and Emma now.

The house was oddly quiet when she came in through the front door and she found herself feeling oddly disappointed. It wasn't exactly that she'd expected Emma and Henry to be waiting for her but she'd expected to come home to a house filled with some noise. This was too quiet, too reminiscent of all of the days for years and years when she'd come home to an empty house, all alone.

She left her briefcase in the entryway and moved carefully through the house, searching for her girlfriend and her son. She found them in the living room.

Emma on her back on the couch, Henry lying on his stomach on her chest, both of Emma's arms wrapped protectively around him.

They were both sound asleep.

Regina's heart fluttered.

Yes, it was quiet. But she'd been wrong, this was not the kind of quiet she'd come home to for years. This was a peaceful kind of quiet.

Regina smiled fondly at her two favourite people in the entire world. She ran a gently hand along the top of Henry's head and leaned down to press the softest of kisses to the top of Emma's head, not wanting to wake either of them, but unable to keep herself from reaching out to them.

She watched them a moment longer and then she slipped out of the room and into the kitchen to start making dinner.

xxxxxx

Two days later, Emma and Regina stepped into the elevator at the cancer centre, Regina pressing the button for the chemo floor. They were the only two people in the elevator today and Regina used the opportunity to wrap her arms around Emma's waist, pulling her close and pressing their lips together in a sweet kiss.

Emma sighed contently, her forehead resting against Regina's a moment even after they'd finished kissing, straightening only when the elevator dinged, signaling their arrival on the chemo floor. "That's the way to get someone to love you forever, you know," she said as they stepped out of the elevator.

Regina couldn't deny the way her heart did a flip at the way Emma, who had struggled to say I love you, now said love you forever like it was no big deal. She quirked an amused eyebrow, asking, "How's that?"

"Kissing them in an elevator on the way up to a chemo floor," Emma grinned at her, as if that should have been obvious.

"Yes. That was my master plan all along," Regina said in faux-seriousness.

Emma laughed, reaching over and lacing her fingers with Regina's, "Well it was a success."

It was the kind of teasing that also held truth and Regina couldn't help but smile, "Good."

xxxxxx

August came to Storybrooke to visit on Emma's good Saturday following chemo treatment 6A. Regina stayed home with Henry and they headed to Granny's.

Sitting across from her in one of the booths at Granny's, August took a sip of his coffee and then asked, "So you've only got one treatment left, huh?"

"Yes," Emma nodded, picking slowly at the bear claw Ruby had brought her, "I sort of can't believe it. It feels like it was forever ago that I had that first chemo."

August nodded knowingly, "The finish line kind of sneaks up on you. It's the only thing you think about for months. Like a countdown. But then it's there and..." he trailed off, not really finishing the thought.

Emma regarded him a moment and then she asked carefully, "What's it like? Finishing treatment?"

August titled his head and Emma could practically see the wheels turning in his head as he seemed to contemplate something. "It's like turning on a light switch after you've been in the dark long enough for your eyes to adjust to the lack of light," he said finally, "You know what that's like, right? The light is so blinding at first. Blinding enough that it seems like you're actually seeing less than you could when it was dark. And for a second you wonder if it was better to just be in the dark. But then slowly your eyes adjust. And you can see again. Better. Because it's light now, not dark."

It was clearly an analogy that he'd thought a lot about and the honesty of it really struck Emma. She swallowed and found herself admitting, "It's sort of scary, thinking about just...being done. Like. After next Wednesday. There's no more chemo. And I can't wait for the feeling better part. Because, like, I'm so over it. I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired. But at the same time...no more chemo means that it will be just me and my body fighting the good fight. And. Let's be honest here. Last time my body was in charge it did a pretty piss poor job of managing things…" she trailed off. This was something she'd been thinking about quite a lot lately but hadn't been able to figure out quite how to say it out loud. There was something about saying it to a person who might understand, who might really get it, in a way that no one else could, that made the words tumble out.

August nodded, his hands wrapping around his coffee mug. "I wish I could say that the scary part gets better right away. But, honestly, I was more scared after I finished chemo both times, then I was during. It's kind of what I meant by the whole turning on the light thing. When you're in treatment, it's like you're so focused on getting through it physically, that you just sort of push off all of the other stuff until afterwards. And then treatment is over and you start to recover...slowly, mind you, because you never recover as fast as you think you will...but you do recover and then what you're left with is all those thought and feelings you pushed away."

Emma sighed, offering sarcastically, "You always have the most inspiring things to say."

August chuckled, "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you any more than you were already feeling. I just...I wasn't prepared the first time I finished chemo. I thought I'd just hit some pause button on my life and I'd finish treatment and un-hit that pause button and everything would go back to the way it was before. I wish someone had told me that's not how it works. That there was no pause button. Life was still moving forward the whole time."

Emma considered that a moment. It was easy to believe what he was saying. Sometimes she could barely remember who Emma before Cancer was anymore. She didn't doubt that Emma before Cancer didn't exist anymore. Didn't doubt that Emm before Cancer had ceased to exist that day so many months ago when the word cancer had first been uttered at her. That thought might have upset her even just a few months ago but now she wasn't so sure. "To be honest," she admitted to August, "I don't really want to go back to my life before cancer anyway."

"Yeah, fair point," August chuckled, "It's a pretty sweet little family you've got yourself now. I wouldn't want to trade the wife or the baby back in either."

"She's not my wife," Emma narrowed her eyes playfully in his direction.

August chuckled a little louder, "If you say so."

Emma shook her head at him but she didn't correct him a second time. Maybe, if she was lucky, someday Regina would be her wife.

They lapsed into silence, Emma picking at her bear claw some more and August sipping his coffee.

August was the one who finally broke the silence, "You should tell her."

Emma eyed him quizzically.

"Regina," August clarified, "you should tell her how you feel about crossing the chemo finish line. Talking about it helps."

xxxxxx

It took up until the night before her last chemo treatment for Emma to actually broach the subject with Regina. They were doing the dinner dishes, Emma washing, while Regina dried.

"I can't believe tomorrow's the last one," Emma said as she rinsed a plate.

"I know," Regina agreed putting away a glass, "It's great."

"Mmhm," Emma nodded, handing the rinsed plate to Regina, "Great. And…" she swallowed, "kinda scary?" It came out almost like a question.

Regina paused the drying motion she'd been in the middle of, the tea towel resting ineffectively against the plate, water dripping onto the ground as she studied Emma. "Scary how?" she asked.

"I don't know," Emma shrugged, gnawing her lip a moment. It had been easier to explain to August. What if Regina thought she was being ridiculous? "Just...chemo got rid of the cancer. But what if...it didn't really get rid of it so much as it is just sort of kept it at bay. And what if...no chemo means…"

Regina's eyes widened in understanding, "What if you relapse?" The question was so quiet, almost a whisper, as if saying those words out loud might make them true.

"Yeah," Emma sighed softly.

Regina set the plate onto the counter, dropping the tea towel on top of it as well. She reached for Emma's wrist, tugging on it gently, "Come here."

Emma let herself be pulled closer to Regina, let Regina wrap her up into a tight hug, and she buried her head into the crook of Regina's neck, dark hair tickling against her nose.

Regina rubbed Emma's back in a gentle pattern, admitting quietly, "I'm scared about that too."

"You are?" Emma mumbled into Regina's shoulder, surprised.

"Of course I am," Regina said as if that should be obvious. Her hand continued to rub the gentle pattern across Emma's back as added, "But your doctor thinks that this is enough treatment. So I just...I try to believe that. And I remind myself that...if it isn't," Regina's voice hitched, as if she were struggling with just the thought. She took a moment to collect herself and then she finished strongly, "No matter what happens in the future. We'll get through it together."

Emma's eyes were suddenly moist and she buried her head deeper into the crook of Regina's neck, her voice cracking as she got out an, "O-okay."

Regina held her impossibly tighter, kissing the side of her head and murmuring, "I love you."

"I love you too," Emma sighed into Regina's neck.

xxxxxx

At the cancer centre the next day, Emma paused outside the front doors, looking up at the building a long moment.

Regina stood beside her, lacing their fingers together and squeezing tightly. "Ready?" she asked with so much care.

Emma swallowed, tearing her eyes away from the building to look over at Regina. "Yes," she nodded.

She was. She was ready to cross this finish line. She was so ready to be done with chemo. And with Regina's hand in hers as she walked into the building, she suddenly wasn't quite so scared about what might come next.

xxxxxx

A while later up in the chemo suite, Mary Margaret set the drip rate for the Dacarbazine - the very last chemo drug Emma would hopefully ever have to get. It was a nearly surreal moment.

"This is it," Mary Margaret said, "The last one." She smiled at Emma, glancing between her and Regina, and suggesting, "You should take a picture to commemorate the moment."

Emma wasn't sure she really needed a picture of herself looking pale and awful, even if it was hopefully the very last time she would have to look pale and awful, but Regina seemed to agree because she was already pulling out her phone.

"Here," Mary Margaret held out her hand, "Give it to me. That way you can both be in the picture."

Regina looked uncertain and Emma said in her grumbliest voice, "If I have to be in this picture, so do you."

Regina shook her head in amusement at Emma, smiling as she handed over the phone to Mary Margaret to take their picture.

Regina showed Emma the picture after Mary Margaret handed the phone back. Emma had been right - she looked pale and awful even with a smile on her face. Regina, on the other hand, looked perfect, of course.

"I'm going to frame it," Regina said, still smiling as she slid her phone back into her purse.

Emma didn't bother to protest. She doubted it was an argument she would win. It didn't matter that she looked awful in the picture, after all - it was what the photo represented.

xxxxxx

The next five weeks passed slowly. August had most definitely been correct - recovery was a slow process. Emma still couldn't walk further than Granny's without being too out of breath to function, she still slept ten or more hours a day, and the chemo induced menopause was still in full swing. But in five weeks, she hadn't set foot in the cancer centre once, and that was a nice change.

That would change tomorrow. Tomorrow they were going to the cancer centre to find out the results of the CT scan and the PET scan she'd had the previous week. Emma was trying not to worry about what those results might show but that was, of course, easier said than done.

She was currently curled up against Regina on the couch. They were watching a movie but Emma couldn't even remember the name of the main character, that was how little she was paying attention to the TV.

Regina seemed to sense that Emma was distracted because she reached for the remote and paused the movie, glancing over at Emma, "You aren't watching this, are you?"

Emma sat up, shrugging, not admitting it but not denying it either.

Regina reached over and settled a hand on her knee, "Thinking about tomorrow?"

Emma just shrugged again.

"So, yes?" Regina smiled knowingly.

Emma shrugged a third time but she smiled almost sheepishly back at Regina.

Regina squeezed her knee, "It's okay to be nervous."

"Are you nervous?" Emma asked, gnawing on her lip.

"Yes," Regina confirmed easily, "But I'm trying not to think too hard about it."

"Yeah…" Emma sighed.

Regina squeezed her knee again, "I actually wanted to talk to you about something. Before tomorrow."

Emma stiffened a bit, her head tilting as she studied Regina uncertainly, "About what?"

"About you living here," Regina said.

Emma blinked slowly, a hand reaching up to brush across the fine hair that was just starting to grow back on top of her head. It was so soft, like Henry's. "O-okay," she stammered out, still not completely sure she knew where this was going.

"I know when you moved in we said it would just be until you finished treatment…" Regina suddenly looked almost nervous, "But I...I don't want you to move out. No matter what happens tomorrow. Whether we hear the news we want to hear. Or if…" she trailed off, not voicing the fear out loud, swallowing instead, "Either way. I want you to stay with us. Permanently." Regina still looked nervous and before Emma could get a word in edgewise, she began to ramble in the way she rarely did, "If you want to that is. And I know once you're feeling better, you're going to want to work again. But Boston isn't so far. And as a bail bondsperson you can really be based anywhere. And I also know that a deputy position will be coming available at the Storybrooke police station within the next year because one of the guys is slated to retire. So if you ever wanted to consider a career change, there would also be that option..."

"Are you done?" Emma couldn't help but quirk a just-starting-to-grow-in eyebrow at Regina, barely capable of containing her amusement.

"Yes," Regina's eyes narrowed playfully at her.

"Okay then," Emma grinned.

"Okay then?" It was Regina's turn to quirk an eyebrow.

Emma laughed lightly, her eyes twinkling, "Yes. Of course it's a yes. Of course I want to stay here with you and with Henry. I love you both. You're..." Emma swallowed thickly, the next words catching in her throat but she forced them out, quietly, "You're my family."

Regina smiled then, so lovingly, so fondly. "We are," she agreed, her hand leaving Emma's knee to reach up and cup her cheek again, the pad of her thumb running along Emma's jaw line as she repeated, "We are."

Emma smiled, closing the space between them and pressing her lips tenderly against Regina's.

It wasn't long before the kiss became more urgent.

xxxxxx

Since Emma wouldn't have to set foot in the chemo suite, they brought Henry with them to the cancer centre the next day. Regina held him on her lap in the exam room they were waiting in, while Emma's leg bounced nervously, up and down and up and down, in the chair beside her. She wished she could wipe Emma's anxiety away but there was really nothing she could do. There was only one thing that would cure Emma's nerves - it was the door opening and someone coming in to tell them the verdict.

From his seat in Regina's lap, Henry gurgled gibberish, waving his arms around.

Emma's knee continued to bounce but she turned her head away from the spot she'd been staring at on the wall to look over at Henry. She smiled fondly, leaning over and pressing a kiss to Henry's cheek, which only made his waving arms flail harder. Emma smiled a little wider, "Well I'm glad someone is having a good time here."

Before Regina could say anything the door swung open and they both froze, heads turning slowly towards the entrance.

"Hi," Belle greeted as she stepped into the room, Emma's chart under her arm, "How are you?"

The question was directed at both of them but it was Emma who answered with an almost gulp, "Alright."

Belle smiled, settling herself into a chair across from them, "Let me guess. A bit nervous?"

Emma shrugged but Belle wasn't looking at her, she was looking at Regina who nodded almost imperceptibly.

"I'm just going to cut right to the chase because I'm sure you want to know," Belle said, "Your scans were clear."

"C-clear?" Emma's face was suddenly unreadable as she stuttered the word out.

"Yes," Belle smiled, nodding her head as she glanced quickly over at Regina and then back at Emma, "You're cancer free."

Regina was already smiling and she watched Emma, waiting for her reaction.

The smile that spread slowly, lighting up Emma's face, as the news seemed to really sink in, was the brightest smile Regina had ever seen Emma give.

"Really?" Emma's voice was quiet, the word almost disbelieving, even as the smile continued to spread.

"Yes," Belle confirmed again.

Emma was looking over at Regina now, the smile impossibly wider, her eyes bright and shinning. "Cancer free," she whispered the words, as if testing them out.

"Cancer free," Regina repeated back to her, the feeling of elation that settled in her chest nearly overwhelming. She leaned over and pressed her lips quickly to Emma's, not really caring that Belle was still in the room. She wanted to jump up and spin Emma around in circles. She wanted to scream the news from rooftops.

Emma laughed as she pulled back from Regina, actually laughed, and the sound was like music to Regina's ears.

Emma was cancer free.

xxxxxx

Not long after that, once Dr. Eldridge had been in to talk to them as well, they were walking back out the front doors of the cancer centre.

The sun was shining and Emma was still grinning. Cancer free. She was officially cancer free. It almost felt surreal but in the best possible way. She felt so light. Like she might just be able to fly if she tried. She'd never been so thrilled in her entire life.

They paused just outside the doors of the cancer centre. Regina glanced down at Henry in the stroller and then over at Emma. "What do you want to do now?" she asked.

Emma squinted into the sun a moment, and then she looked back at Regina. "Honestly?" she said, "I just want to go home."

"Okay," Regina smiled, "Let's go home."

Emma didn't know what would come next but, in this moment, she didn't particularly care. She was leaving the cancer centre, bolstered by the news that she was cancer free, to head home with her family. In an odd sort of way, it felt like an ending and a beginning.

Home. Family.

It was a beginning Emma had never dreamed possible.

xxxxxx

A/N: And...somehow just like that we're at the end. This was a difficult chapter to write, mostly because I think I wasn't quite ready for this fic to be done. Thank you so much for all of your support throughout. This was a story that I wanted very badly to tell, even though I wasn't 100% confident in my ability to do it properly, so having your continued support throughout has meant quite a lot to me.

Although this is the end (or the beginning as Emma called it), I do have a short epilogue planned. So be on the lookout for that, likely sometime next week! :)