11BBY: Planet Dasoor

It was another month on Dasoor when Jyn found she was becoming more and more skilled with a blaster. Saw had her training daily on aiming, assembly and proper blaster maintenance. In her first year he had been adamant that she only ever use a blaster if necessary, preferring she begin her training in hand-to-hand combat and basic survival skills. Jyn loved the few occasions Saw had taken her and a select few out into the wild on whichever planet they were currently on to go camping with minimal resources, teaching Jyn the lay of the land and what to do should she ever find herself alone. Nowadays she was learning more serious combat with Saw gifting her dagger from his home planet of Onderon and a blaster strap small enough so she could wear it around her petite frame. Her first blaster was a Glie-44 pistol. It was small and lightweight; Jyn was told to carry it wherever she went and to treat it like an extra limb. Kenna's current blaster was an L-23 pistol which she had acquired in the first few days after their arrival. Jyn noticed Kenna always changed styles, saying she preferred to find the 'perfect one'.

"I like Dasoor," Kenna said, late one afternoon. The two girls had been given permission into the small city Saw's base of operations was located in. They were being shadowed by guards, giving the girls enough freedom to appear on their own. Kenna and Jyn had their fingers entwined as they walked along a line of market stalls, not particularly observing anything. "One day, I am going to come back here."

A group of aliens bustled past them, a barabel eyeing them keenly as they passed by. Jyn turned to look back at the group noticing the same creature staring at them. "I think he wants something."

Kenna turned to follow Jyn's gaze and shrugged. "He'll regret it if he does." She glanced down at Jyn's side, "Got your dagger?"

Jyn brushed her fingers over its hilt. "I never leave without it anymore."

Kenna nodded. "You're learning."

The girls continued on their path, weaving around into some of the back alleyways, passing shady creatures and the occasional hawker trying to sell them their merchandise. "Is he still following us?"

Jyn turned around and to her relief found nobody trailing them. "No."

Kenna hummed and led Jyn over to a water fountain coming out of the side of a low wall. "Have you ever killed anyone?"

No," Jyn replied, sitting on the edge of the fountain. "Saw doesn't let me go with him on missions."

"No, silly." Kenna had sat down on the fountain's edge, slipping off her boots and placing her bare feet into the cool of the water. "You can kill anybody anytime."

"You shouldn't do that."

Kenna scratched at her leg, picking off dirt. "What? Killing whenever or putting my feet in the fountain?"

Jyn smirked. "Probably both."

"I killed my first person when I was seven," Kenna continued. She splashed some water at Jyn's legs.

"Why?"

"Because my mother told me to." Kenna cupped her hands and drank some of the water. "It's not hard – killing someone."

Jyn placed the tips of her fingers into the water. "Saw does it a lot. Sometimes he comes back with blood on his armor." The last time that had happened it was his own blood and he had tried to usher Jyn away, but she stood firmly in her insistence on remaining. He showed her how to clean the gash to the palm of his hand and how to provide proper medical aide. She enjoyed making Saw feel better, just like he would make her feel better when she became scared or had a bad dream about her mother dying.

"Your mother doesn't sound very nice," Jyn remarked.

Kenna scoffed, "And what? Your mother was? She abandoned you."

"No she didn't," Jyn insisted. "She went back for papa."

"You said the plan was for her to go with you to hide, but did she? No, she went back, knowing full well what would happen. If my mother had done that I would hate her."

Jyn refused to look at Kenna. It was times like these when she wished her companion would just disappear. Saw had made some of his men disappear on occasion; maybe she should ask him on lessons on how to do that.

Later that night as Jyn tucked herself into the warmth of her blanket and makeshift bed she couldn't help but think over Kenna's words. In Jyn's eyes her mother tried to save her papa, or maybe she went back to see where he was. The more she thought of those scenarios and the more she saw the true reflection of the galaxy around her, maybe there was some truth in Kenna's words. She didn't hate her mother, but Jyn started to feel something niggling away deep in her heart. Later Jyn would come to recognise this as resentment.

The next day Jyn and Kenna walked hand in hand through the top level corridor of their Dasoor base. Saw had summoned them both which was most unusual as he tended to keep Kenna at a distance. Jyn was never sure why he did this and Kenna showed no emotion to the fact. Sometimes, Jyn wondered if Kenna even liked Saw.

Saw was sitting on an old chair, a datapad on his lap. He was in deep thought as the girls waited several moments as they stood in front of him waiting for his voice to finally sound. Their hands never left each other's grasp.

"Girls," he said, a faint smile on his lips. "Something has come up and we need to leave Dasoor today."

Kenna groaned. Saw ignored her.

"What's happened?" Jyn asked.

"A crucial piece of information I have been seeking has sprung up elsewhere and I will need to travel fast and light if I am to meet with my informant." Saw stood up and knelt before them. "I will be travelling on a different ship. I need to travel with few personnel."

Jyn hid her emotions well for this would be the first time she and Saw would be separated. Whatever it was he intended on seeking it must have been important. "How long will you be gone?"

Saw turned his gaze directly to her and smiled warmly. "Not long, my child. You will be taken to a safe house on Tatooine under the command of Karmack. You will remain there until I find a more suitable base of operations for us to stay."

"Why can't we stay here?" Kenna demanded. She snatched her hand from Jyn's and folded her arms. "I like it here."

Saw turned to her, his smile fading. "Our location has been leaked to imperial forces in a nearby system. A local gang has decided credits are more worthy than the cause. It is no longer safe."

Kenna huffed and mumbled, "For the cause."

Saw nodded, "For the cause."

"How long will you be gone?" Jyn asked.

"Not long hopefully, and no – before you ask – I cannot tell you where I am going. It is safer that way." Saw did something he had never done before. He gently grabbed one of their hands and clasped them back together.

"I want you both to promise me something in my absence." His voice had turned more serious, a frown etching on his brow. "While you are on Tatooine you must protect each other from any matter of harm. Neither of you are to venture out of the safe house without Karmack personally. You will be isolated from most of the civilized life forms that reside on that planet, so it will be easy to get lost in the sandy dunes." Saw placed his large, rough hand over theirs. "You must be each other's guardians; for now you are all that each other have. Do not forsake that bond for petty quarrels. Love each other like sisters. Say you will promise me this."

"I promise," Jyn said, nodding.

"I promise too," Kenna added.

Saw stood up, satisfied in what he hoped had gotten through to the girls. "And keep up your training. I will inform Karmack to teach you higher forms of survival training, and we can get you both started on learning how to use blaster rifles."

Jyn grinned at Kenna's sudden burst at enthusiasm. While she felt morose at the thought of being away from Saw for a period of time, she had to admit she was beginning to like the sound of their new adventure.

The three weeks Jyn ended up staying on Tatooine, a day did not go by that she did not think of Saw and where he was.

...

0BBY: Planet Jedha

The hood was lifted off Jyn once they reached the monastery. Many of the soldiers who worked around her as she was escorted she recognised. Not just in appearance but in the way of their proud stance and compact manner they maintained. While she fell easily back into the similar stance those around had taken, she could feel their hatred. They had lost comrades, some of which blamed Jyn for. She understood their anger and pain, but it would do any of them little good if she attempted to sympathise or find common ground. Jyn had wondered briefly where Cassian had been taken, but she could feel the static force that emitted from Saw; he was close by. While Jyn had fantasised about this very moment, now that it was in hand, she began to wonder if she was truly ready for this confrontation. So much had happened in the years since he abandoned her.

Jyn conversed briefly with a woman who thought she recognised, but Jyn could not put her face to any name she remembered. She asked after other comrades and found that those she asked after were long gone - dead. She foolishly asked after Maia, even though Jyn had been present at her death. Poor Maia, Jyn thought, tying down her emotions. If Jyn was asked who she thought was the kindest and most innocent person she had ever met, Jyn would have answered with Maia. Of course it made sense that the most merciless and cold person Jyn had ever met was responsible for Maia's death. Kenna.

"He'll see you now," the Tognath said, returning to cut the bounds around her wrists. So the time for distractions were over, and Jyn held her head high as she made her way into the room that was occupied by the man who had raised her far longer than her real father.

"Jyn, is it really you?" an old, weary voice asked.

Jyn turned to look at Saw, preparing her whole body for anything he may throw her way. To her great surprise, the man who stood before her was not the man she remembered. He appeared older beyond his years, hair whitish grey and unkempt with his body held together by blue armour. This state of being she witness made her body relax and for a moment she wanted to cry.

"I cannot believe it," he whispered. "After all this time."

"Must be quite a surprise," she replied coldly as he strode towards her leaving a metallic rhythm echo.

"Are we not still friends?" he asked with a quizzical look on his face.

"The last time I saw you; you gave me a knife and a loaded blaster and told me to wait in a bunker until daylight."

"I knew you would be safe," he said sounding wounded.

"Safe?" Jyn almost laughed if her fury hadn't become so high. "You left me behind!"

"You were already the best soldier in my cadre!"

"I was sixteen," Jyn shouted taking a step towards him.

"I was protecting you. You were the daughter of an imperial science officer! People were starting to figure that out! People who wanted to use you as a hostage." Saw's voice became gentler. "Not a day goes by I don't think of you."

Jyn was momentarily silent, going over his words. "Protecting me," she repeated, meeting his gaze. While his eyes showed sadness and a longing for a reconnection to his foster daughter, Jyn was livid.

"Protecting me," she said louder. "Did it ever occur to you where I would go after you left me behind? Who I would go to?"

Jyn waited for Saw to figure it out. "Did it ever occur to you that I would go looking for her?"

Saw tightened his grip on his walking stick. "That day I left you, I knew there was only one other place you could go - to her; to find her and continue the cause."

Jyn curled her fists into balls. "Your abandonment made me want nothing to do with the cause. I felt betrayed by it!"

"And yet you continued to fight," he retorted sadly. "You continued."

"No," Jyn said. She unclenched her fists. "I went to Kenna because - despite everything she was and had done - she was still my friend at the time." Jyn laughed bitterly. "You knew her. She only fought for the cause because she liked violence. Your cause allowed her to be enveloped by violence, but once you kicked her out, she no longer continued your campaign." Jyn noticed her revelation had struck Saw. "I traced her to Kessel where she was dealing in illegal trade dealerships with gangs. There was nothing noble about it. She was a thug and a thief; I became all that too because you left me no other choice!"

The pair remained in an unsteady silence, Jyn breathing heavily while Saw looked on. Jyn took a deep breath to steady her voice into a calmer manner. "I fought for you and the cause because growing up I witnessed how much it meant to you and the inspiration you gave your soldiers. I wanted to be part of that, and I supported your decision to let Kenna go. If you wanted me to be safe and continue the fight in your name you should have dumped me with the rebel alliance of some other band of resistant fighters. Not let me end up back with her."

"Is that why you have come," Saw finally said, taking another step forward. His gaze was unblinking. He gasped at the oxygen mask built into his armour, pulling it from his face before resuming. "Have you come here to kill me?" There was no humour in his voice. "There isn't much left of me."

Jyn shook her head slowly. He was still Saw Gerrera; the man who had raised and loved her like a daughter. She could not forgive him so easily. "No. If my time with Kenna has taught me anything, it was to appreciate those you care about – or used to care about – who are still alive. I'm not like her. I refuse to be like her."

"You were never like her, Jyn," Saw said. "Though I see destructiveness in your eyes. Never has it been this wild before."

Jyn lowered her head, gazing at the small distance between her and Saw. She felt exhausted – emotionally drained.

"So why did you come here then, Jyn? Why come to Jedha in the name of the rebel alliance."

The grasp back to her true purpose of being here made Jyn look up again. He knew it appeared.

"Apparently you have a defected imperial pilot here who was sent by my... by my father. They found me and more or less demanded I come here as a friend in the hopes you may actually help them."

"Who sent you?" he asked trying to catch her out. "Was it Draven?"

General Draven, Mon Mothma, the whole damn council," Jyn snapped. "I don't know any of them. Like I said it was a demand not an ask."

Jyn noticed his hand trembling as he leaned heavily against his walking stick. "So what is it that you want, Jyn?"

"They wanted an introduction, they've got it. I'm out now." Jyn remembered Cassian. "One of your prisoners would be better suited to where this discussion is going. They rest of you can do what you want."

Saw's eyes closed briefly, the walking stick wobbling in his grasp. "So the cause truly means nothing to you anymore?"

"The cause," she repeated. "We've been over this, Saw."

"You can stand to see the imperial flag reign across the galaxy?"

Jyn merely shrugged. Once she couldn't stand it, but her soul felt beaten up, her belief in something that inspired her to become so good a fighter had shrivelled. "It's not a problem if you don't look up." She knew those words would hurt him and had seen him spill blood over worse offences. She knew exactly how to twist the dagger deeper. "Kenna said those words to me when I found her."

Saw took another drag from his oxygen mask, closing his eyes once again. When he looked at her, he seemed to have found a new clarity. "I have something to show you."

For moment Jyn wondered if Saw had mocked her. Those were Kenna's words too. "Wait!"

Saw stopped at his console and cast a curious glance towards her. Jyn hadn't meant to speak aloud, but the ringing of Kenna speaking those words made her remember what it was Kenna had shown her. "Don't show me what you did."

"What, Jyn?"

"Whatever it is you did to the pilot," Jyn replied. Too close to Kenna. It scared Jyn sometimes how similar Saw and Kenna were.

"The pilot," he said. "I gave him to the Bor Gullet. He resides in a cell now, too weak and helpless for the alliance to use."

Jyn let out a breath she hadn't realised she was holding. She noticed a holochip in the palm of Saw's hand. "What is that?" She jerked her chin at it.

"This is the message from the pilot," he said. He went to insert it into the console but Jyn moved fiercely, placing her hand over his to stop him.

"Message," she breathed. "From... him?"

"Your father? Yes."

Jyn's throat felt tight and stepped backward, letting go of him. She didn't want to see this. "I can't."

"What are you afraid of, Jyn?"

Where to begin? What could she say that would justify her hesitation?

"I spent years resenting my mother and pretending you were my real father. You want me to go unravel all that? To undo all the barriers I placed up to protect myself from the sleepless nights and constant berating from Kenna when she accused me of being weak for holding onto the past." Jyn swallowed hard. "You kept her around so I could have a companion close to my age, but you never really saw her for what she was. What she did to me – what she expected of me after you threw me out. You were both family to me and you equally betrayed me; left me. For a time when I was truly on my own all I could think of to keep myself going was to move forward and forget you all – my father included. He made his choice fifteen years ago. You, my father and Kenna – you all left me behind. Can you blame me for not wanting anything to do with any of you?"

"Kenna left you," Saw breathed. "When?"

Jyn shrugged, "Does it really matter? It happened."

Jyn pointed at the holochip. "Give it to the alliance. Whatever my father has to say, it'll be better suited to them. Give it to their captain you have no doubt imprisoned and let me go. I am done."

Darkness came into Jyn's vision as Saw turned to look out the circular window behind him. She followed his train of vision and viewed a black mass covering the sun.

"What is that?" she asked. She couldn't take her eyes of it – a perfect eclipse.

"The rivalry for your father's attention," Saw replied.

Jyn tore her gaze away and faced Saw. "What are you talking about?"

There was a flash of green and everything around them shook. It caught her off guard as her balance caused her to grip onto the window's ledge. She had fallen to her knees losing sight of the window when the sound of a roar filled her ears. Jyn pulled herself up as the roar grew louder, simultaneously causing the stone around them to tremble in fear. She heard Saw shout as a great swell of dust billowed through the window and for a moment Jyn lost sight of her surroundings. Her eyes watered from the dust and she coughed violently. It was in that moment when Jyn realised something terrible was happening on Jedha.

The rivalry for your father's attention

What had that even meant?

Another great rumble caused Jyn to lose her footing, covering her head protectively as pieces of rubble tore away from the roof. She felt Saw's firm hand grip her shoulder.

"Jyn!"

Jyn grabbed Saw's hand that he had grasped on her shoulder and with her other hand tried to find something to help her stand up. She thought she could still hear her name being called in the distance, but she wasn't sure. Everything around her was deafening.

"Help her!" Jyn heard Saw yell. She looked around her to see someone running towards her. Cassian. "If you can save her, take her!"

Cassian grabbed Jyn's outreached hand and pulled her up. Saw held her other hand and felt a cool item being placed in it. Jyn stared at Saw, knowing it was the holochip – her father's message.

"Jyn," Cassian yelled, but she would not look at the captain. He was desperate, knowing K-2 would be arriving momentarily. Jyn tightened her jaw, continuing to meet Saw's gaze.

"I know where your father is!"

Jyn blinked at Cassian's words and turned to him.

"Go, Jyn," Saw shouted, giving her a nudge. "You must go!"

Cassian was tugging her towards to door causing her to stumble. Jyn turned back to Saw. She felt the urge to pull back towards her foster father. "Come with us!"

"There's no time," Cassian snapped, continuing to pull her away.

"The message!" Saw shouted as the distance between them grew. "Your father's message. Save the Rebellion! Save the dream!"

Later as Jyn sat in the U-Wing contemplating everything that had just transpired she realised that Cassian had come back for her. He had been thinking of her.