4ABY: Planet Hosnian Prime
Jyn was sitting on the large bed she and Cassian shared. Kenna's red box was next to her as she went through each of her former friend's documents. Cassian had returned earlier in the evening and it did not take long for an argument to erupt. He was currently showering in their private refresher much longer than he usually took. Jyn knew he was intentionally avoiding her. The baby kicked – it had been an unsettling evening for the three of them. Cassian had looked at her the same way he had done when she compared him to a storm trooper all those years ago. She was torn between feeling she deserved his anger but also not deserving for he should have known by now that she would never have left the safety of Hosnian Prime in her condition if she felt it would jeopardize her or their baby.
Jyn was fiddling with the recorder Kenna had left her. She had not listened to it; part of her fearing its contents. What could Kenna possible say from her grave that could justify her actions or give Jyn peace? She tried to imagine what Kenna would do if their situation had been reversed. Would Kenna listen to Jyn's recording? Of course she would. Kenna always had to sate her curiosity.
Jyn clicked the play button hearing static from the practically antique piece of equipment.
"I'll skip the pleasantries," Kenna's voice started. "Part of me always expected you to track me down and blow up whatever shanty town I was living in at the time. I know you hated me for the things I did – the way I sometimes treated you."
Jyn clicked the pause button. She hated Kenna for a lot of reasons – making Maia leave her medic training to join a fatal ambush, or that time she made Jyn believe Cassian had left her to prove a point. The latter was supposed to teach Jyn tough love. That particular event had lead to the last fist fight she and Kenna ever had. Thankfully, Jyn had been able to leave with her dignity and only minor bruises.
Jyn glanced over at the closed door to the refresher. The water had stopped running and she could almost picture Cassian leaning over the sink trying to regain his calm manner. Jyn clicked the play button.
"But despite all that, you were the only person I considered a friend. Everyone else – Saw, Maia and Luella and those other idiots – they were just tools. I guess part of me was jealous of the attention you gave to others. That alliance major who was with you when we last met – the second I saw the two of you I knew you were going to fall into that cowardly abyss Luella had fallen into. I didn't want that for you, nor did I want to share you."
Jyn clicked the pause button, glaring at the adjacent wall. Kenna had no right to even claim she was jealous of other's gaining Jyn's attention. Share her? Kenna had left rather happily from Saw's insurgence without blinking an eye in Jyn's direction. She never came back for her on Corellia after the imperial bombing. Worst of all, she had tried to take Jyn away from her newly balanced home in the alliance with Cassian and Bodhi – Han and Leia.
The door to the refresher opened and Cassian stalked into the bedroom in his night clothes. He glanced at the red box, his face darkening. Jyn met his firm gaze defiantly. She would not have a repeat of their argument.
"It's late," was all Cassian said as he pulled down the blankets.
Jyn got up, moving the red box to her side of the bed. After she was standing, she picked it up heading for the door.
"Where are you going?" she heard Cassian ask.
Jyn opened the door, stepping out. She didn't respond to him; didn't want to. Jyn simply shut the door and walked down the hallway into the living room. The lights were dimmed low provided a calm environment around her. Jyn placed the red box onto the dining table and slid open the glass door that led out into the small, private grass enclosure. She sat down in one of the few chairs that resided outside and pressed the play button.
"I also wasn't impressed when I saw you had joined the Rebel Alliance. Seriously, Jyn? I wanted to slap you across the face then and there. You spent your childhood idolising Saw Gerrera and doing whatever he wished of you. Did you somehow forget what he told you about them? If the Rebel Alliance ever found out who you truly were, they would use you to their advantage."
Jyn hit the pause button. Those where Saw's words once and they had rung true in the end. But by the time Kenna and Jyn had met again, the Rebel Alliance had already used Jyn for what they wanted and if she was completely honest, Jyn was relieved for it. Short-lived as it ended up, Jyn was glad to see her father again one last time and to hear his voice. The mission to Eadu, Scarif and the destruction of the Death Star had given Jyn a sense of closure to her lost childhood on Lah'mu. It gave her a sense of purpose once more.
...
0BBY: On Route to Eadu
The ride out of Jedha had been tense and a close call. Jyn had sat in the U-Wing watching the Holy City and its surroundings being decimated at Cassian jumped them into hyperspace. Jyn's left hand had remained clenched the entire ordeal, keeping the holochip safe. She wanted to unclench her hand but found she couldn't. This tiny holochip held the voice of a man she once adored and often dreamed about in the early months of her life with Saw. She hated herself for the weakness she currently felt and avoided the faces of her companions. The Guardians had been rescued by Cassian along with another young man Jyn didn't recognise.
"Baze, tell me," Jyn heard Chirrut say softly. "All of it? The whole city?"
Jyn slowly let her eyes drift across to the blind man's companion. She had never heard his name spoken before. She looked for a sign on his face that may show similarity to Saw's soldiers as they had gazed upon her with contempt – blaming her. She detected no such feeling.
"Tell me," Chirrut insisted.
"All of it," Baze finally answered.
Jyn swallowed hard, turning her gaze back to her clenched hand. The Holy City of Jedha was gone; destroyed by a weapon that eclipsed the sun.
The rivalry for your father's attention
Those were the words Saw had used to describe it. Did this mean her father had built this weapon of mass destruction? When she heard Cassian speak of its possible existence back on Yavin IV, Jyn hadn't believed it. She closed her eyes and thought of all those who had died – Saw and his soldiers along with that little girl she had dived into the fire fight to save.
"Understood. Set course for Eadu." Cassian's words made Jyn open her eyes.
"Eadu?" she asked. "Is that where my father is?"
Another father-daughter reunion played in her mind. Her fantasy with Saw had been designed with anger and hurt, but with Galen – her real father – she couldn't fantasise anything. She went through her years accepting he was dead, believing it with an intensity that made her fight harder. She needed that; she couldn't go backwards anymore.
"I think so," Cassian said, turning to her. Jyn stood up and walked over to him.
"You're Galen's daughter?" Jyn stopped midstride to turn to the stranger she noticed earlier. She took in his appearance and realised he was wearing an imperial flight suit that had been kept in poor state. The pilot! Saw had mentioned he had given the defector to the Bor Gullet. How was it that he could talk so clearly?
"You know him?" she asked.
"Yes."
A flood of question poured into Jyn's mind – questions she never thought she would ever get the chance to ask.
"He said... he said I could get right by myself. He said I could make it right, if I was brave enough and listened to what was in my heart. Do something about it." Jyn's gaze studied him intensely as he spoke, looking for anything to connect her to her long lost father. "Guess it was too late."
Jyn flicked her eyes down to her clenched hand which she had lifted up to her chest. Slowly she opened her palm to gaze at the holochip. She looked back to Bodhi. "You sent the message."
Bodhi nodded, refusing to look at Jyn.
"Did you see it?" she asked with anticipation. "Do you know what he said?"
The defector shook his head. "No."
Jyn turned to Cassian who had stood by the communicator the whole time, just behind Jyn. His gaze met hers but she could not read his face. Ever the spy.
"My father's message," she all but whispered. She saw Cassian look down at the holochip. He instantly pushed away from the communicator and for a second reached out to grab the holochip. He refrained, unsure what Jyn would do.
"Have you seen it?" he asked, his eyes focused solely on her.
Jyn shook her head. "I... Saw, he was going to show me it, but we had... well everything went dark and started shaking and I fell..." She reached her hand out to Cassian allowing him to take the holochip. "Maybe it's time I did see it."
The entire presence in the U-Wing was quiet – deathly quiet. K-2 was co-piloting; the occasional beeping sound coming from his direction was all that broke the silence. Chirrut was unmoved, looking directly ahead, but Jyn could see the grip on his staff become much tighter. Baze was staring at the holochip, a look in his eyes that made Jyn wonder if he was going to bolt out of his seat in their direction. Bodhi had finally lifted his head, also staring at the holochip that now resided in Cassian's hand.
"Play it," Jyn said to Cassian. "We all saw what happened on Jedha. If there is something – anything on that holochip that could tell us what it was that destroyed the Holy City then we need to know now."
Cassian was moved by Jyn's sudden burst of passion. He had seen a kindling in her eyes as they fought through Jedha, but now that kindling had lit and was burning brightly. Nodding, he placed the holochip into the panel of the comlink holoprojector and a small, blue image of her father appeared.
"Saw, if you are watching this then perhaps there is a chance to save the Alliance."
Jyn was motionless, facing the holoimage of her father as he spoke at attention. She had told Cassian to play it, but that didn't make her any ready to hear his voice or see his face. It had been so long.
"Perhaps there's a chance to explain myself and, though I don't dare hope for too much, a chance for Jyn, if she's alive, if you can possibly find her. A chance to let her know that my love for her has never faded and how desperately I've missed her."
Jyn didn't notice Cassian's eyes flicker over to her. She couldn't take her eyes away from her father's image. She felt angry and betrayed by his words. How could he claim to love her when he had let her mother die and allowed himself to be taken?
"Jyn, my stardust, I can't imagine what you think of me. When I was taken, I faced some bitter truths. I was told that, soon enough, Krennic would have you. Part of me longed for those mentions. I realize now it was a kind of torture."
Torture, Jyn thought with bitterness.
"As time went by, I knew that you were either dead or so well hidden that he would never find you. But I knew if I refused to work, if I took my own life, it would only be a matter of time before Krennic realised he no longer needed me to complete the project. So I did the one thing that nobody expected: I lied. Or I learned to lie. I played the part of a beaten man resigned to the sanctuary of his work. I made myself indispensible, and all the while I laid the groundwork of my revenge. We call it the Death Star. There is no better name."
The image on an eclipsed sun came into Jyn's mind – the one she had seen on Jedha. In a twisted sense Jyn felt the name of her father's work fit perfectly to that image. A bright star shining light and giving life to all on Jedha had been swiftly eclipsed by another star intend on bringing darkness and dealing death.
"My colleagues, many of them have fooled themselves into thinking they are creating something so terrible and powerful it will never be used. But they're wrong. No weapon has ever been left on the shelf, and the day is coming soon when it will be unleashed."
A message too late received.
"I've placed a flaw deep within the system. A scar so small and powerful, they'll never find it."
Jyn felt a sudden weakness sweep over her. The desire to sit made her grip Cassian's wrist. She felt his gaze turn to her briefly but she kept her view forward and focused. Jyn could feel how much her father's words mattered to him as if it comforted him late at night when he feared sleep.
"Jyn, if you're listening... my beloved, so much of my life has been wasted. I try to think of you only in the moments when I'm strong, because the pain of not having you with me... your mother - our family. The pain of that loss is so overwhelming I risk failing even now. It's just so hard not to think of you. Think of where you are."
Jyn felt her composure crumble as if all the walls she had placed up to protect her from this man were finally falling. Her gip tightened on Cassian's wrist, not realising who it actually was she was holding onto. Tears began to form in her eyes but she refused to let them fall.
"Saw, the reactor system, that's the key. That's the place I've laid my trap. It's unstable, so one blast to any part of it will destroy the entire station. You'll need the plans, the structural plans. I know there's at least one complete engineering archive in the data vault at the Citadel Tower on Scarif. Any pressurised explosion to the reactor module will set off a chain reaction that will destroy the entire weapon. I know what I am asking for is nigh impossible, but it's all I could do in my situation. If anything, I have given the Rebel Alliance hope."
With that last word the holoprojector went off. Jyn blinked, feeling her knees sway beneath her. Cassian grabbed hold of her, keeping her level with him. "Jyn."
She frowned, torn from wanting to see her father again and the words he had just spoken.
"Jyn," Cassian said again.
Finally, Jyn turned her gaze away and to Cassian. His face was masked with concern, a change from his constant innocent and blank reflection. She let go of his wrist and stepped back. "I... I'm fine. I just need a moment."
Jyn walked over to the cockpit, leaning on the back of the pilot's seat watching the view of hyperspace from the front window. She felt like she had run miles and needed to catch her breath. K-2 turned to look at her. "If you are worried about the chances of the alliance believing your father, it's high."
Jyn turned back to look at her companions. They were all staring back at her except for Chirrut. She could tell – no sense – how deep in thought he was. What she would give to hear his opinion.
"We have to send a message to the alliance," Jyn finally spoke.
"I've done that," Cassian replied.
Jyn pushed off from the back of the seat. "They need to know there is a way of destroying this thing. We need to send them my father's message now!"
"I can't risk sending that," Cassian said, moving towards her. "We are in the heart of imperial territory."
"You still want to go to Eadu?" she asked. "Even after what you just heard my father say?"
Cassian was silent, watching her carefully. He had his orders, and while he had his scruples regarding them from the start, having heard Galen Erso's message; a message that gave hope to the rebellion, Cassian felt torn. He had his orders.
"Yes."
"Then we'll find him, and with his message he can give more intel to the council."
Cassian nodded, but Jyn could not read his emotions – he wore his spy face.
"Your father," Jyn heard Chirrut say, "is a very brave man to do what he did under the scrutiny of the empire. He must have known the consequences of his actions had they found out."
Jyn wanted to smile but found she could not.
"The consequences of his actions were felt today on Jedha," Baze said gruffly. Jyn noticed Baze tighten the grip on his weapon.
"We can still beat the people who did this," Jyn insisted. She looked at Cassian. "Like my father said – he knew they would do this without him, so he helped the cause from behind enemy lines. How many of your agents have done the same thing?"
Briefly – ever so quickly, Jyn saw understanding in Cassian's eyes as if he himself had worked behind enemy lines. Jyn straightened her back. "To Eadu, then."
Cassian nodded. "To Eadu."
...
4ABY: Planet Hosnian Prime
Jyn hit the play button.
"If you are expecting an apology from me..." Kenna chuckled, "well you're not getting one. I have never regretted any of my decisions in life. I know you have, and I suppose that makes you the better person. If I'm honest, I'm not entirely sure why I am recording this. I guess in a way I miss you. We were together for so many years – inseparable. Then when I left Saw's insurgency and you didn't follow, I felt like I had made a mistake leaving. Then you found me again, and again we lost each other. And one final time together where I learned you had essentially replaced me with that... that man. You could say I overreacted, but I don't think so. For a while I thought he was using you as any rebel agent would use a pretty face to get what he wanted. Tough love, Jyn."
Jyn hit the pause button. She heard the sliding door open behind her. Cassian came to stand behind her, placing his head gently on her shoulder.
"Jyn, it's cold out here. Come to bed." His voice was the softest it had been all evening.
"I'm listening to this." Jyn showed Cassian the recorder. "Kenna's final words to me."
Cassian sighed, kneeling down to her level. "Why – just tell me why you feel you owe her this much."
Jyn placed the recorder on her lap and placed both hands on Cassian's cheeks. "Because she was once my only friend." Jyn smiled sadly. "She was my K-2."
She kissed him softly, allowing her husband to nuzzle his face into her neck, inhaling deeply.
"Please don't fight me on this anymore," she whispered. "I am so tired of fighting; so tired in general."
Cassian leaned back to look at her, smiling. "Then come to bed."
"Only if you promise."
Cassian picked up the recorder and placed it into Jyn's hand. "I promise. Listen to the rest in the morning."
Her husband helped her stand up, keeping his arm around her shoulder. Jyn felt the baby move. "Our child doesn't seem to want sleep tonight." She placed his other hand over her stomach. "I have my last scan in a few days. I think we should finally let them tell us if it's a boy or girl. Han has a betting pool on the gender and I think it's only fair we find out and not tell them. You know, rig the bet in our favour."
Cassian kissed her forehead. "Will you ever stop being so devious."
Jyn laughed. "We'll be able to start thinking of names."
"So long as 'Kenna' is not an option," Cassian said, keeping his tone light.
Jyn slid into bed. "I could say the same about 'Kay'."
With one last kiss goodnight, Cassian said, "Deal."