0BBY: Planet Eadu
"Does he look like a killer?" Chirrut asked Baze.
Jyn, who had been watching Cassian and Bodhi descend out of sight from the crashed U-Wing, turned to face the guardians.
"No," Baze replied. "He has the face of a friend."
"Who are you talking about?" In the back of her mind, Jyn already knew the answer.
Baze looked over at her. "Captain Andor."
"Why do you ask that?" She was looking at Chirrut now. "What do you mean, 'does he look like a killer?'"
"The Force moves darkly near a creature that's about to kill," Chirrut answered matter-of-factly.
"His weapon was in the sniper configuration," K-2 answered from the cockpit.
Jyn clenched her jaw, not wanting to believe the possibility. Cassian had listened to her father's message, just as they all had done. Why would he kill Galen Erso – her father? She remembered seeing Cassian assembling his weapon before he exited with Bodhi. Jyn felt her heart quickening as she turned to place on a raincoat. After, she sped down the boarding ramp and into the cold, wet night. Deep in her mind, Jyn still wasn't convinced the captain was out to kill her estranged father. Mon Mothma had made it clear he was to be extracted and bought to the senate for hearing. Then came the message Bodhi had delivered to Saw, who in turn delivered it to Jyn who had allowed it to be played for all in the U-Wing to hear. She had seen the understanding in Cassian's eyes as they spoke of her father's rebellious work behind enemy lines. Worse, Jyn was starting to trust him, even like his manner. Perhaps her time away from Kenna and the cold solitude of prison had made her soft. No, she thought, determined. Maybe whatever Chirrut sensed around Cassian was his intent of killing troopers to protect her father. Maybe he intended on sending Bodhi down while he picked off enemy targets one by one. There had to be an obvious explanation. There had to be.
"You said we came up here just to have a look," Bodhi said.
Cassian had been looking through his quadnocs. "I'm here; I'm looking. Go!"
Bodhi ran off to – hopefully – find them a ride off this desolate and wet planet.
Cassian had his orders.
This is what Cassian kept telling himself as he switched over to his newly configured sniper rifle. Rain trickled down his features causing his fringe to stick to his face. He wiped his eyes attempting to gain a better view. He had his target, and it had just stepped into view of his scope. He placed his finger on the trigger only to be delayed by a trooper taking position next to Galen Erso, blocking Cassian's view.
He had his orders.
Cassian had been on many missions; so many he had lost track many, many years ago. He had been tortured, interrogated, shot, punched and once he was even drugged. He had worked undercover, as an assassin, a saboteur, a spy and a soldier. In some ways you could say that Cassian had seen and done it all. But this was a first for him, leaning on him stomach as he waited for that one stormtrooper to get out of the damn way. This was the first time Cassian truly believed his orders were wrong. He had not been keen on the assassination to begin with - that wasn't a new feeling to him – he had never relished in the sensation that resulted in exercising a clean kill. It was all for the rebellion, and right now the rebellion wanted Galen Erso dead. Well, General Dravin wanted him dead. Mon Mothma had been adamant on extraction, and even though intelligence worked outside of the senate for most assignments, Cassian felt himself siding with Mon Mothma. If it were up to him, he would be down there with Jyn at his side planning an extraction.
He had his orders.
Cassian knew he would need a story fabricated to tell Jyn, and he knew that no matter what tale he could come up with, she would not believe him. This assassination would break Jyn, especially after viewing that message. That message! If his mind could record things he would play that message over and over again, stripping it down to its very core. Cassian had expected a simple, to-the-point message that would confirm the existence of the planet killer. What he heard instead was a man – a father speaking to his daughter, using all his might to suppress what emotions remained. A man who admitted he had sacrificed himself for the rebellion, admitting he played a hand in the planet killer's existence and that through revenge and malice for the empire he had created a fatal flaw in order for its destruction. Cassian would never admit it aloud, but he was impressed by Galen Erso. Cassian knew firsthand what is was like to work behind enemy lines – it was tough, emotionally draining and always leaving one on edge of being caught. He had been caught out once and the torment that followed had left him waking in cold sweats for months.
Cassian saw Galen step forward, allowing Cassian his vital shot. He was breathing hard; a slight hand tremor caused his scope to shake. He tightened his grip feeling the intensity of the strained muscles. Cassian was tired of committing crimes he never answered for - crimes that were justified by Dravin and fellow intelligence officers. He looked at Galen – truly looked at him for the first time and saw a resemblance. He saw Jyn in Galen. Cassian let his finger drop from the trigger, dropping his head in defeat.
He had his orders.
He couldn't do it.
The Captain switched to his quadnocs to get a better reading of the scene playing out on the imperial landing pad. This would have been so much easier had he not seen that message. His orders would have been simpler, more understanding, and he never mistrusted Draven for giving the order. To the rebellion, Galen Erso was an imperial scientist who willingly worked for the imperial war machine. Cassian had believed it too, never truly vocalising his feelings in front of Jyn, given the delicate and emotional manner she attempted to hide from him. He was too good a spy not to pick up on it. Now he doubted himself and doubted the rebellion's belief on Galen. Everything had changed and it made Cassian wonder on how many other imperial officers he had assassinated without a clear understanding of their position. No, this situation was different to all the others and Cassian scolded himself for allowing his past memories to be dragged up.
Cassian could not work like this anymore.
So he sat among the rocks, rain still falling as he chose to watch, betraying his orders and oaths to swore to Dravin and the intelligence branch of the rebellion. He had witnessed the slaughter of the imperial engineers – a scene which seemed to corroborate Galen's message further. Still, the deaths of the engineers did not cause him an emotional downfall. He focused solely on Galen. Jyn's father was on his knees in front of his fallen comrades while the man in white – Cassian had identified as Krennic – loomed over him. Had Krennic arrived after discovering Galen had sent a message to the rebellion? Was this whole scene punishment? Cassian didn't need to guess what was about to happen next, so he searched through his quadnocs for anything in the vicinity that might disrupt it. Instead, to his great shock, he saw Jyn hoisting herself up and over the edge of the platform, taking down a trooper in the process.
"Cassian, can you hear me?" K-2's urgent voice carried through the comlink.
"I'm here," he replied, keeping his eyes focused on Jyn through his quadnocs. "You got the comms working?"
"Affirmative, but we have a problem! There's an Alliance squadron approaching. Clear the area."
Cassian's eyes widened. "No, no, no!" He was shouting into the comm. "Tell them to hold up! Jyn's on that platform!"
He heard the x-wings before he saw them approaching. He briefly glanced up before focusing back on Jyn. He felt panic – panic for Jyn's wellbeing. He couldn't comprehend why he felt like this, but he knew that if he had just been honest with her... well it was too late for that now. With a large explosion the landing platform burned and Cassian could see nothing besides smoke and flames.
"Jyn, no!"
He slung his rifle over his shoulder and began his trek down the ridge. He made for the research facility, not sure what he would find when he got there. All he knew was that he needed to get to Jyn. He had to save her.
Jyn felt like her lungs were on fire and the smell of burned remains filled her nostrils. She coughed and rolled over, climbing to her knees. She was alive and she needed her father. Where was he? She saw him, lying on his back not too far away. Jyn lifted herself up and ran over, ignoring the heavy rain beating against her face. The imperial shuttle roared to life, its engine backwash throwing Jyn over towards the platforms edge. She grabbed at the rubble, forcing herself up. She was not going to give up now, not when she was so close. As she hauled herself back up onto the flat level on the platform, she felt betrayal. Those were alliance fighters that had struck them. Why would they do this? They promised to bring him in for hearing. Jyn sprinted over to her father who hadn't moved an inch. Thoughts of betrayal were pushed back, but they were still there, lingering.
...
1BBY: Planet Corellia
11 months earlier
Ringing was all Jyn could hear as she attempted to blink away her blurred vision. Was that screaming she could also hear in the distance? Or was that the sound of another TIE raid coming round for another strike? Jyn coughed, tasting blood on her lips. Crawling onto her hands and knees, she coughed up a ragged piece of shrapnel that had made its way into her mouth, cutting her tongue. Leaning back on to her knees she inhaled deeply and tilted her head back, scanning the sky for incoming danger, but all she could see was the thick, black smoke that rose from a targeted building above her. She scanned the horizon and then the ground; bodies strewn everywhere – blood, debris, scattered fires. It was a living nightmare, and she knew that her current situation would have made Saw disappointed in her. She had grown lax in the years following his abandonment. That wasn't her fault though was it, she thought bitterly, swallowing the pain in her throat every time a pleasant memory of her surrogate father attempted to rear its ugly head.
It was the sounds of wheezing that bought Jyn back to reality, and the source of it; a small body, pale, golden-haired now splattered in blood.
Maia!
Jyn jolted up to her feet, only to stumble back down to one knee as her head still swam from the obvious concussion the empire had the pleasure of gifting. She staggered over to Maia, sweet Maia who should never have been part of the fight, let alone Saw's militia. Her friend was lying prone, against a broken cement wall, a piece of debris sticking out from under her ribcage.
"Maia," Jyn breathed, wiping away her own blood with the back of her hand. Maia squinted her eyes open and attempted to speak, but nothing other than hot air came out. "Don't speak; just take deep, slow breaths."
Jyn inspected the metal rod sticking out of her friend. It was angled in a way that had definitely punctured a lung. "Out," Maia breathed. "Get it out"
"You'll bleed out if I do that," Jyn retorted, removing her jacket and placing it around the rod. Maia coughed up blood, splattering Jyn's face.
"Sorry," Maia breathed, coughing again. Jyn only smiled, feeling tears welling up.
"Always with your politeness," Jyn said sadly. "I always told you that politeness would only get you so far in this galaxy."
Maia smiled sadly, her own tears welling. Jyn saw the thought cross Maia's mind; the same thought she herself had once she saw how badly injured Maia was. Her time had run out.
"I'm scared, Jyn," Maia said, breathing more shallowly. Jyn grabbed her hand and squeezed it, briefly closing her eyes to hide the grief that was now welling up inside her. She could not wait until that grief turned to burning hatred for those who did this.
"Remember our mission on the Spire?" Jyn finally said, opening her eyes. She wiped away the blood that had started to trickle from Maia's mouth. "Remember that day we all played in the pool, while we attempted to compose a new song for the mission?"
Maia attempted to smile, but it came out as a loud sob. Jyn wipe away Maia's tears. "Remember that party we entertained at that lasted all night, and at dawn we raced down to the viewing room to watch the sun rise over Anthan Prime?" It was one of Jyn's favourite memories. Briefly, very briefly she had imagined herself in a time where they was no war; no empire and no rebellion. It had all been so peaceful watching that sunrise.
Maia closed her eyes, frowning in pain. "I... I can't feel..." Her face relaxed as she slipped away. Jyn's face contorted with grief, but she quickly swallowed it down. Hastily, she removed the rod protruding from her now deceased friend, and covered her body with her jacket. Maia had deserved better than this. She had deserved better than to die in a street, gasping for her last breath, tasting blood as it left her body. Out of all the people Jyn had crossed paths with, Maia had always been the kindest and most innocent. Fate had been cruel to her.
It was not even an hour later when Jyn was carrying Maia's body down the street in her arms that she came to realise that there was nobody. She had expected to come across some resistant fighters along the way, helping their injured or at least scouring the area. She made it to a crashed speeder, where she gently placed Maia down and searched the bodies of dead resistance fighters for a comlink.
"Is anyone out there?" Jyn spoke into one. "This is Tanith of the resistance, can anyone hear me?" She was met with radio silence. The sound of static echoed around her. "Is anyone out there?" She began shouting, cursing into the comlink. "Kenna," Jyn finally screamed into the small device. "Kenna, where are you?"
Eventually, Jyn threw the comlink, smashing it against the building opposite her. She kicked some rubble, placing her hands on top of her head. She was breathing dangerously hard, biting her lower lip. They were gone. All of them, gone. She turned back to the sight of Maia, causing the final tipping point for Jyn. She screamed in rage at the sky, before collapsing, hugging herself. She was crying, not caring anymore that she had let her emotions win over. She didn't care. She had been left behind by Kenna and those damned resistant fighters. Jyn mentally kicked herself for expecting something more, something worthwhile.
Evening had set in as Jyn laid Maia properly into the speeder. It wasn't an elegant funeral, but as pyres went, it was better than leaving her body to rot on the streets, or to be picked up by scavenger and thrown into an incinerator. Jyn watched as the speeder burst into flames, consuming Maia and all physical memory of her. Another to the list of people this galaxy had taken from her. Why couldn't it have been her that the rod had impaled? As past records went, Jyn deserved it more than Maia. It was Jyn who had done acts and crimes more violent than Maia could ever have done, and Maia's plans to become a medic on Corellia were more noble thoughts and deeds Jyn ever would have thought or done. In any event, what's done is done and Jyn knew the longer she stayed on this warzone, the higher chance she had of being captured. Maybe that's why she had stayed so long?
...
Eadu – Present
Jyn was numb; her emotions hollow from the shock of what had just transpired. Her father had died in her arms and Cassian had arrived to drag her away, just as he had done on Jedha with Saw. That was twice now. Her two father figures had died, and Cassian had been there each time to take her away – away to safety. Her clothes were drenched as she stood in the dim light of their stolen imperial freighter. She heard Bodhi and K-2 conversing in the distance while Cassian moved in her peripheral vision, stripping off his wet gear. She felt Chirrut grasp her hand – for emotional support or to stop her from going over to Cassia, she wasn't sure. But he did not prevent her as she stepped forward; Cassian had his back to her.
"You lied to me," she started, her face hard as stone. She noticed him flinch slightly as if he had expected this very moment to happen.
Cassian glanced at her. "You're in shock."
Yes, she was in shock and equally betrayed. "You went up there to kill my father."
Cassian replied instantly. "You don't know what you're talking about."
Jyn wanted to laugh bitterly. Liar. "Deny it – you went up there to kill my father."
"You're in shock," Cassian repeated, "and looking for someplace to put it. I've seen it before."
"I bet you have." She pointed to the others. "They know! You lied about why we came here and you lied about why you went up there alone."
"I had every chance to pull the trigger," he replied, "but did I?" Cassian looked over to the other. "Did I?"
Nobody replied to his confession except Jyn. "You might as well have. Those were alliance bombs that killed him!"
"I had orders! Orders that I disobeyed," Cassian replied walking over to her. He no longer wore the mask of a spy. He was raw. "But you wouldn't understand."
"Orders? When you know they were wrong, even after hearing my father's message?" Jyn searched for a spike to drive straight through Cassian's heart and found it. "You might as well be a stormtrooper."
To his credit, Cassian did not flinch, instead, moved even closer to her, staring down with raw fury. "What do you know? We don't all have the luxury of deciding when and where we want to care about something. Suddenly the rebellion is real for you? Some of us live it. I've been in this fight since I was six years old. You're not the only one who lost everything. Some of us just decided to do something about it."
Jyn refrained herself from grasping the front of his shirt and slamming him against the wall. "You saw my father's message! How could you do this?" She didn't care she was shouting, probably loud enough for the entire system to hear.
"I had orders," Cassian repeated, his voice starting to level Jyn's.
"You're orders were to bring him back," Jyn accused. "And even if they weren't, you saw the message! You saw my father wasn't the monster everyone believed him to be. How could you do this?" Jyn felt her emotions bubbling in her chest. Both captain and former rebel were so close now, not breaking eye contact. "I thought..." Jyn laughed bitterly. "I thought you understood. I trusted you!"
If Cassian was moved by her words, Jyn could not see it. His face remained hard and cold. Jyn had to turn away before she lost her dignity. Cassian stalked off towards the cockpit.
Why did betrayal happen so often in her life?