I still don't own anything but the plot.
When she lands at JFK in August, she's alone. Josh decided to stay back with his grandparents for an extra week and she'd left him with a kiss and a promise to see him as soon as he was back in the USA.
Dan picks her up at the airport, giving her a hug and carrying her bags for her. When she gets to the loft, all she wants to do is go to sleep. Her dad smiles at her and tells her to take a nap – he and Dan are going to brunch with Vanessa's family, but Jenny can stay home since she's jet lagged.
She opens her bedroom door and nearly jumps out of her skin when she sees Nate Archibald sitting on her bed reading her copy of To Kill a Mockingbird. That's the first book they bonded over when they were young. When he hears her enter, he looks at her. There is something burning in his eyes that he can't identify.
"Did you know there was a sequel?" is all she can think to ask. Seriously, Jenny, she thinks, that's what you say to him when you speak to him for the first time in months?
Nate smiles slightly and her knees go weak. His smile has never failed to lure her in. His hair is shaggy and he has a beard, very un-Nate like. He looks tired. "Yeah, but that's just blasphemy. I mean, a racist Atticus Finch? No way."
She smiles back at him awkwardly, shifting on her feet. "What are you doing here, Nate?" She speaks in a disinterested voice. She doesn't want him to know he affects her.
"I'm sorry. God, Jenny, I'm so fucking sorry."
Now she's really confused and her expression must show it because he stands up and marches over to where she is standing frozen. "I… Serena and I are over. I overheard her and Blair fighting. They were fighting over you. The way Serena treated you. I had no idea. I confronted her about it and she admitted it. She said I didn't need you because I had her. And she didn't even feel remorse. I broke up with her, Jenny, in July. I swear I didn't know or I would have done it long ago. Seeing her true colors, it brought everything into perspective. I've treated you terribly for all these years. Making you a dirty little secret and a second choice. You're not my second choice. You never have been." He takes her hands in his and the butterflies in her stomach go wild.
They stand there, hand in hand, for what feels like hours. He's looking at her with those eyes that say that he feels something and she can't help but wrap her arms around him. He chuckles and pulls her closer, giving her a hug that makes her feel safer than she's felt since the last time she was with him.
Her mind goes blank as they stand there together, him whispering how much he missed her and how much he loves her.
Then her cell phone rings and they pull apart. She pulls it out of her pocket and sees it's Josh, so she answers and steps out of her bedroom, leaving Nate behind, standing in the middle of her room looking shell-shocked.
He comes out of her room as she is saying goodbye to Josh, who just told her that he's heading home early and will see her the day after tomorrow.
"Who was that?" Nate asks as he wraps his arms around her from behind, his chin resting on her shoulder. She sighs and leans back into him.
"Josh. He's my boyfriend." She's surprised that she's able to keep her voice steady as she speaks.
"Oh," he sounds disappointed. "Right, the guy you were with at the Snowflake Ball. Sure, yeah." His arms let her go.
"Yeah, we were in Paris this summer together. He's coming home in a couple of days and wanted to let me know."
Nate just nods. "Yeah, Dan told me you were in Europe. I, uh, didn't know you and that guy were so serious, though."
"Uh, yeah, I guess. He's really sweet. Always makes sure I know how important I am to him." She didn't mean it as a dig at Nate, but he flinches anyway and Jenny can tell that it stings, but she doesn't apologize. It's true. She's angry, but she still loves him, despite his behavior. So she invites him to stay with her while she orders pizza and watches Marvel movies. He spends the night and they fall asleep on the couch.
When she wakes up in the morning, she is wrapped in his arms. She's cuddling with Nate Archibald and she hasn't done that since she was fifteen. But this time it feels different. It feels like more.
And she feels guilty because she has a boyfriend. So when Nate wakes up, she hastily makes an excuse so that he will leave. He does, with a kiss to her cheek.
He calls her that night and every night after.
They become friends again and she introduces him to Josh. Surprisingly, the two get along. Well, she isn't so surprised because they are a lot alike. They both play soccer and lacrosse and love sports in general and love action movies and her. But Josh knows she has a complicated history with Nate. She smiles at him when he is the bigger man, accepting Nate easily.
She knows that Nate is trying to get along with him, and she appreciates the effort. But she can feel his gaze every time she kisses Josh or holds his hand or even smiles at him. Jealousy. She can't say she doesn't relish it a little bit. She likes Josh, she really does. The butterflies aren't really there, though. And she can't help but think back to the feeling that she had when she came back to Brooklyn to Nate waiting for her.
School starts again and suddenly she's a sophomore. Dan and Vanessa (who somehow spend more time uptown than at their own university), Blair and Chuck, Nate, and herself become a tight circle of friends. Serena's brother Eric transfers to Columbia and joins their group. Jenny is happy to have him back, she's missed him. His new boyfriend, Eliot, fits in well too.
During winter break, Blair tells them that Serena has decided to transfer to UCLA in January. She thinks she'll fit in in California more than Manhattan. Jenny can't help but think good riddance to the demon. Nate squeezes her hand as Blair breaks the news and she notices that Josh notices the gesture. His eyes darken a bit and a scowl emerges on his lips.
She can't bring herself to care. Nate grounds her to reality.
Josh goes out of town with his parents for the holidays. Jenny stays behind to spend the holidays with her dad and Dan. Her mom tells her she's driving down with her new boyfriend for Christmas Day and she smiles happily at the chance to see her mom again. Even Rufus is excited, having moved on with his new girlfriend, Bex.
On Christmas Eve, Jenny and Nate go skating at Rockefeller Center. She stumbles on the ice because she gets distracted by how beautiful he looks gliding across the ice gracefully. Of course, he skates back to her and helps her up. But he also laughs hysterically at her. His ridiculousness triggers her laughter and soon they are laughing and skating and holding hands.
She's warm and happy when they go get hot chocolate after and take the subway back to Nate's apartment to exchange gifts. She's wet from the snow and ice that surrounds her but she's never been more comfortable.
The tree that Nate and Dan picked out is beautifully decorated (by herself, Blair, and Vanessa, of course) and it lights up the dark apartment. Dan is with Vanessa's family for Christmas Eve, so it's empty other than the pair. Nate starts a fire and gives her some dry clothes to change into.
Jenny scurries into his bathroom and changes into his basketball shorts and tee shirt. She rolls the shorts about ten times and they are still too big, but they smell like him and she smiles to herself in the mirror. As she tosses her wet clothes in Nate's dryer, she checks her phone and sees that Josh has called twice. Oh well, I'll call him tomorrow, she thinks. Then she returns to the living area to see Nate sitting on the sofa with a three gifts in front of him.
When he hears her return, his eyes snap to hers. They quickly scan her body and darken slightly. She flushes, embarrassed.
She tugs her curls into a ponytail and sits next to him, reaching into her purse for the envelope with his name on it. "Why do you have three gifts there, Nate? I thought we agreed!"
He snaps out of whatever haze he was in and smiles broadly at her. "I know, but I couldn't help myself. Don't worry, you'll like them, I promise."
At her insistence, he goes first, ripping open the envelope. As his blue eyes scan the paper that was inside, Jenny bites her lip anxiously. He's stoic for a moment before a huge smile breaks out on his face. "Jenny, you got me season tickets to the Knicks? Really? This is great! They've been sold out for months for next season. How did you do it?"
"I actually bought them for you when they first went on sale," she says shyly.
His eyebrows furrow. "We weren't even talking then."
"I know. I was going to slip them to you via Blair. It's just – one of Eleanor's clients is the owner's wife, and I'd mentioned it casually when I was fitting her for a gala and she did me a favor. I couldn't think of anyone who deserves them more than you. I hope you like them!" She's smiling widely now, too.
"Of course I do! Jenny, they are amazing!" He engulfs her in a hug and kisses her cheek. "Now it's your turn." He hands her the first gift, a relatively large, square box.
She opens it quickly and discovers a build-a-bear teddy bear. It's just like the one that she'd told Nate about a lifetime ago that she lost on the subway when she was kid. It had been her best friend when she was the awkward little girl that she was. Tears spring to her eyes. "You… you remembered."
"Of course I remembered, Jenny. I remember everything you've ever told me," he says seriously.
She whimpers.
He doesn't dwell on it though, handing her another box. It's a Marvel movie box set. "Now we can watch them whenever we want and get ready for the next one!" he says as they laugh together.
The third box is small and when she pulls off the paper it is made of velvet. Her heartbeat speeds up. She cracks open the box and sees a ring. It's a stunning ring, something she could only ever imagine owning until now. It doesn't look new, but it is impeccably maintained.
"It was my grandma's. I… I thought it would look good on you. You know, go with your retro style and whatnot," he says nervously.
She doesn't even think to reject this gift, doesn't find it inappropriate at all. And she's crying as she slides it on to her right ring finger, whispering "thank you" over and over again. Soon she is sitting on his lap, her arms wrapped around him and her face tucked into his neck. She's still crying. She leans back and one of his hands rises to wipe the tears away.
It lingers on her cheek and it feels like she's burning.
He leans in. So does she. And before she knows what is happening, his lips are on hers and she's definitely on fire. Their mouths open and the kiss intensifies. Her fingers go into his hair and he groans and pulls away.
"You don't know how long I've wanted to do that," he says. She's still on his lap.
"Me too. Since I was fourteen, I think," she whispers.
It washes over her like a cold rain, though – the realization that she just cheated on her boyfriend with Nate of all people. And she doesn't know what to do. She says she needs to go home and think. Leaves him with a 'thank you' and a kiss on the cheek. He still looks stunned as he closes the door behind her.
The next day, when Josh calls her to say Merry Christmas, he hears Nate in the background talking to Dan. Of course Nate is there, she tells him. He has no family around and deserves a real Christmas. Josh gets angry and hangs up on her.
She doesn't mind. She doesn't cry. Because Nate is out there in her living room with her family and it doesn't hurt.