The ride back to Brooklyn is awkward for reasons Jenny doesn't fully understand. They sit hand in hand, but are silent the entire way.
When they get to the loft, Nate walks her up. He doesn't release her hand as they approach the door. Before she can unlock it, his hand pulls on hers, turning her towards him. "You have to tell your dad and Dan, Jen. I'll be here to support you, but you have to tell them."
She just nods numbly. He gives her a peck on the lips before she opens the door.
And there is Rufus, already in his PJs, clearly waiting up for his only daughter. When he sees the bruise on her cheek, he is understandably angry. "What did you do to my daughter, Nate? You're supposed to take care of her!"
"Dad stop!" she yells. "Nate didn't do this to me. It… it was Josh. I broke up with him and he freaked out. Nate stopped him and he punched him. Nate defended me, Dad."
"Josh did this?" Rufus isn't asking Jenny and she knows that. Nate finally tears his eyes away from staring at Jenny and looks up at Rufus, showing off his own bruises.
"Yes sir. You know I would never disrespect Jenny like that. I will always protect her." He is still holding her hand as he talks to her father and she squeezes it as a silent thank you.
Rufus is silent for a minute, just looking at the pair and their injuries. Then his harsh eyes soften. "Okay," he finally says. "I'm sorry, Nate. And thank you." Nate smiles sadly at her father and nods.
Jenny asks if Nate can stay the night, says she needs him tonight. If Rufus notices a change in the relationship between the pair, he doesn't mention it. He says Nate can stay and even gives him pajamas to sleep in. With a directive to leave the bedroom door open, and a warning that his will be open and he is a very light sleeper, Rufus goes to sleep.
They take turns changing in the bathroom and crawl into bed. At first, she feels awkward. She doesn't know what they are. They are in this uncomfortable grey area where cuddling in bed seems like so much more than it used to be but they aren't a couple. She's confused and upset and it's been the longest day of her life. After a couple of minutes, Nate scoots closer to her and wraps an arm around her shoulder, pulling her into him. Her head rests on his chest and her hand on his stomach. She sighs, comfortable and relieved.
So much has changed but this hasn't. Nate makes her feel safe.
His hand combs through her hair and it's relaxing and she starts to doze at the feel of his heart beating under her. "Jenny," she hears him say. She hums in response.
"I love you," he says.
She falls asleep before she can say it back.
In the morning, it feels like the entire previous day was a dream. Nate isn't in the bed when she wakes up, but the pillow is still warm and it smells like him, and that's the only reason that she knows it really happened. She looks at her face in the mirror when she finally drags herself out of bed and winces at the bruise that covers her entire cheek. She debates putting some cover up on, but decides not to. She needs to face what happened.
When she makes her way out of her room, Nate is the first person she sees. He and her dad are both still in their PJs and inhabiting the kitchen as though it is normal for them to cook together. Nate is making eggs while her dad makes his famous waffles. When they hear her come in, they both look up.
Nate smiles brightly and abandons his eggs and comes over to her. Sweeping the hair out of her face, his eyes immediately fall to her black and blue cheek. His eyes plead with her to be okay, a silent prayer that she feels radiating off of him.
"I'm okay, Nate. I promise."
He just nods and moves, allowing her to say hello to her father. Minutes later, Dan and Vanessa arrive for family breakfast.
Jenny recounts what happened, the whole story, for her family. Again, Nate holds her hand as she tells them everything. She feels his strength supporting her as she speaks. They all feel terrible, and Dan threatens to murder Josh if he ever sees him again (Nate offers to help and Rufus doesn't condemn the violent threats), but she says she is okay and she doesn't want any more trouble on her behalf. She just wants to forget about him and move on. They believe her, mostly because they see how Nate is taking care of her.
After breakfast, she decides to go with Nate back to his place. She needs to get away from her family for a bit, and she isn't ready to leave him. Plus, they really need to talk about where they stand.
They settle into his living room and put on a movie. This time, they are cuddled together with no space between them.
"Nate, what are we?" she asks halfway through the movie, seemingly out of the blue, although she has been thinking about it since the previous night.
He seems surprised by the question and her heart drops. She was so stupid. How could she ever think he would be interested in her in that way? It's clear that he was just scared for her and let his fear guide him into doing stupid things. She can't make the thoughts stop as he sits there.
"Jenny, I told you I loved you last night." He says it in such a straightforward way that it shocks her. Like him loving her is just a fact.
"You've said that to me before and I've said it to you. I'm your best friend," she replies.
"I've never said it after practically dry humping you in my best friend's apartment. Or giving you my grandma's ring." She laughs at that and he smiles at her like she is the world. "I love you. Not as a friend. I want to be with you. I've wanted it for a while. Actually, if I'm honest with myself I've always wanted you. I just didn't want to admit it and risk losing you. But you should have seen me when you moved away, or when we weren't speaking. I was a mess, Jen. My hair was so long that Blair called me a hobo and I didn't shave for weeks. I could barely eat and didn't sleep. All I wanted to do was talk to you. I didn't realize what that was then – but it was heartbreak. I loved you and you were gone. Even Dan wanted you to come back so I would 'stop moping.'"
She's surprised by his declaration, but he looks serious. He's staring into her eyes, his conviction never wavering as he speaks.
So she takes a breath and decides to spill her guts to him.
"I've loved you since you were my brother's best friend all those years ago. It physically hurt to see you with Blair and it destroyed me to see you with Serena, especially when she was so awful to me. I felt like I was always a second choice. When you had a better offer, I was forgotten. And so I had to protect myself, I couldn't let myself break. So I ran away. Again and again. But I can't run from you anymore, Nate. You have my heart. I can only hope you'll take care of it."
He kissed her forehead. "You're it for me, and with time I know I will prove it... Hold on one second." He gets up and disappears into his bedroom and emerges with a box. As he takes his seat again, he hands her the box. When she opens it, she sees that it houses the largest collection of letters that she has ever seen. "There is a letter in that box and two other identical boxes for each day we didn't speak. One for every day you were in Hudson, and one for every day I didn't speak to you after you came back to the city."
And then Jenny is crying. She moves the box to the coffee table and stands up, offering him her hand. He takes it and stands before following her into his bedroom. As soon as the bedroom door closes behind them, he lays her across his large bed. He stands over her, smiling and seeming to be completely at peace.
"Nate, I have to tell you something…" She pauses until he nods. "I… I'm a virgin."
To say he is surprised is an understatement. He thought for sure she'd lost it to Josh, if not earlier. "I… Jenny, if you don't want to do this, we can wait. I love you. I'm willing to wait for you."
Her arms reach for him and pull him onto the bed until he is next to her. "No, I want this, Nate. I want this with you."
She brings her lips to his softly, savoring the feeling his soft lips on hers. Her tongue runs against his lips and he eagerly opens them, accepting her tongue into his mouth. Their teeth clatter together as their kiss deepens. Nate's hands hover over her waist, hesitating. She pulls her mouth away, kissing his neck, her hands roaming his body.
"Touch me, Nate," she whispers against his neck, her hands tangling in his hair.
He groans and moves closer to her. "Are you… are you sure?" When she licks his pulse point, he gets the hint and his hands move to her hips as he rolls, pulling her under him. She feels him hard and steady above her and shivers. Jenny's body is on fire; every nerve ending is on edge.
She slides her hands underneath his t-shirt and feels the hard plains of his sculpted body. Her nipples tightened in anticipation. She had never wanted before, not like this. She thinks she will combust if she doesn't have him soon.
They undress each other quickly, without much grace. Jenny feels cherished and loved. And when she notices that Nate's hands are shaking as he undoes her bra, she blushes. Nate is nervous!
When they are undressed, he pulls his lips from her body and smiles at her. "We'll take it slow. You tell me if you want to stop. Okay?"
She nods eagerly, running her hand down his chest and following the trail of hair leading down his body. He groans loudly as she palms him, his hands traveling from her waist to her chest, massaging her breasts. She revels in how soft he is, his length feels like velvet in her hand.
Nate's lips move from her mouth to join his hands on her breasts. He takes one taut peak in his mouth as his hand rubs the other one. For a few minutes, he just lavishes her chest with attention until she is writhing beneath him with anticipation.
Before she knows what is happening, he has moved down her body and his breath is on her center, where she wants him most. She groans, frustrated that he isn't touching her. He must get the hint because, with a chuckle, his tongue moves up and down her slit before wrapping around her clit.
Jenny keens. She's never felt anything as amazing as Nate's tongue on her. "Oh, oh, oh my god," she moans as he puts a finger inside of her, his tongue still stimulating her clit. "More." He adds another finger. The tension is building inside of her, stronger than she's ever felt in her entire life. He changes the angle of his hand and suddenly she is convulsing, wrapped in pure, white-hot pleasure. As her orgasm abates, she opens her eyes to find Nate staring at her, looking enraptured and slightly stunned.
"You're so beautiful, Jenny. I love you," he whispers before kissing her gently once more. She tastes herself on her lips and it makes her ache for him.
His cock rubs against her wetness, her clit pulsing with every slight movement. "Are you ready? And sure?" he whispers in her ear, holding her close.
"Yes. I'm okay, I promise. I just need you." Her legs wrap around his hips as he aligns himself with her and slowly slides inside of her. At first, she just feels full. He is stretching her. His lips continue to move against hers as he continues to push forward. It hurts for a second and she winces. Nate stops moving, frozen above her, his blue eyes staring into hers. She leans forward, her forehead resting against his. They continue to lay like that.
A few minutes later, she feels ready. The pain has subsided and turned into unimaginable pleasure. "Move," she urges him. He pulls out of her before pushing back in.
"Jenny, oh my God, you make me feel like a virgin again…" His eyes are closed and he looks like he is concentrating on something as he moves smoothly in and out of her. She kisses him and begins pushing her hips up, meeting him thrust for thrust. His pelvis skims her body in just the right place as they meet over and over again.
"I love you, Nate. I do. I've never… oh god." He changes the angle, kneeling and lifting her leg over his shoulder. She feels the tension building inside of her. Her stomach is tightening as he continues thrusting. One of Nate's hand snakes between them, gently flicking her clit with his thumb.
"I, Nate, god, I'm come… Nate! Fuck!" She screams and thrashes as her back arches and her nails scratch his back. White light flashes behind her eyes as the pleasure radiates through her whole body from her toes to her hair. She feels him still and hears him groan her name before he spills into her.
For a few moments, they stay connected, just savoring the moment. His hand moves up to tuck her blonde hair behind her ear.
He's smiling as he finally pulls out of her and wraps her in his arms. "I've never felt that connection before. Ever. You're, Jenny, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me." Tears prick at Jenny's eyes when she hears the sincerity and emotion in his voice. This is all she's ever wanted.