A/N- Throughout this story, I use several forms of communication. When there is spoken conversation, it's in quotes like normal. When something is written down, typed on a computer, or texted, it is written in italics like this. When angels are speaking to each other telepathically, 'it will be written like this with one apostrophe.' When sign language is being used, 'it will be in italics between a single apostrophe like this.' As you are reading, this will probably become a lot more clear.
He had texted Castiel on his way back so the angel had unlocked the door for him. He came in and found him browsing the internet on the laptop.
"Hey, Cas." He dropped his bag on his desk.
Castiel looked up and smiled. He held up a page he had written before Dean arrived.
How were your classes?
"Interesting." He sat on the edge of Castiel's bed that was close to the desk. "My teacher for angel studies is an angel."
Castiel looked away from the computer with a shocked expression. He opened Word on the computer and typed on a blank page.
Really?
"Yeah, I couldn't believe it. I didn't know that was even allowed. He seems really cool though. Not sure if he likes me or not, but it'll be interesting to be taught by an actual angel."
It would. What's his name?
"Balthazar. He said he was born here, but he was raised in England."
The name seemed vaguely familiar to Castiel but he wasn't sure why.
When did you want to get lunch?
"Any time you're ready. I'm hungry."
We can go now.
"Awesome."
They left to get lunch in the food court. He had chemistry and math starting at 2 and he wasn't looking forward to it.
After lunch, they went back to the room and watched some videos on his laptop. It was hard for them to find a comfortable way to watch the small screen together.
"We need to get a TV."
Castiel nodded in agreement and they both laughed.
Dean checked his watch a little later. He needed to leave soon to get to his chemistry class. He sighed and pushed himself up from Castiel's bed.
"I've gotta head out. I should be done with class by four."
Castiel nodded and waved. Dean waved and left for class.
At four, Dean texted Castiel to let him know he was on the way back. His last two classes had been mind numbingly boring. The only bright spot had been a cute blonde in his math class. She had left before he had a chance to talk to her, but he'd try again another day.
Charlie had sent him a text while he was in class that said they could meet for dinner before their first lesson with her. He sent a reply back that they would meet her in the food court.
He went up to his room to drop off his books and talk to Castiel for a little bit. When it was close to five, they went down to the food court to wait for Charlie to get out of class.
About twenty minutes later, she came running up to their table with a tray of food. "What's up, bitches?"
Castiel was surprised by the greeting, but Dean laughed. "Charlie."
"How was your first day?" She turned to Dean as she picked up a fry.
"Eh," Dean shrugged, "my angel studies class was probably the most exciting part of the day. The professor is an angel."
"Wow, that's cool." She took a monster bite of her chicken sandwich and looked at Castiel. "How about you, Cas?" The question was greatly muffled by the food in her mouth.
He just shrugged as well and waved a hand to say not so great. She nodded in understanding.
"I couldn't imagine being stuck in my room all day with nothing to do. I'd probably go insane." She took another bite. "Of course, if I had my computer I could do a lot to entertain myself."
Dean chuckled. "I bet." He smirked at her.
She smacked his arm. "Not like that, perv."
Dean raised his hands. "Hey, I meant that your awesome hacking skills could keep you busy. Get your mind out of the gutter."
Charlie laughed. "Yeah, I'm sure that's what you meant."
They spent the rest of the meal discussing classes and tried to plan out the best days and times for their sign language lessons. They agreed that a couple days a week would probably be enough and that from now on Mondays would be better between their classes at 11 instead of after and on Fridays at the same time.
The three of them went back upstairs and into Charlie's room. Her roommate was gone. Charlie said she was a theatre major so she would be gone a lot with play practices and auditions.
"I always liked the artsy theatre types. They usually tend to be more accepting and up for anything." She raised her brows a couple times and jumped to land on her bed with a bounce.
"Just be careful, Charlie. We don't want you getting thrown out for inappropriate behavior." Dean pulled a chair from Charlie's desk and pointed to a cushy chair in the corner for Castiel.
Castiel moved the big circular chair closer to the bed and sat down. He had to pull his legs up to balance in the chair properly.
"Okay," Charlie pulled a few sheets of paper out of a purple folder and held them out to them, "these are your cheat sheets for the alphabet. We'll learn that first and go from there."
They each took a page and looked it over. It didn't seem any more difficult to Castiel than learning how to write. He was excited to learn a quicker way to talk to Dean and Charlie.
The lesson went on for about two hours and Castiel was already getting the alphabet down. Dean was pretty good but needed some practice. Charlie's roommate came back a few minutes before they finished. She was extremely nice and talked to them a few minutes.
It was close to 9:30 when they crossed the stairs to their room. Most of the floor was back and either heading back and forth to the bathrooms or locking the doors for the night. Dean was hoping Rick would be gone until they fell asleep like last night, but they weren't that lucky.
The door opened without the key and they both braced themselves for Rick. He was typing on his laptop again like the last time they entered. They both ignored him and went to their beds.
Dean put his cheat sheet in the top drawer. Castiel was still looking over his. He faced the angel. "I'm gonna take a shower. Do you need to?"
Castiel shook his head and pulled out his phone. He showed Dean the text without sending it.
I did earlier when everyone was at classes
"Okay." Dean gave him a pat on the shoulder and walked to his closet for his pajamas. He left the room to take a quick shower.
Castiel sat on his bed, still studying his sheet of sign language. He would practice while he was here alone. He saw Rick look around his computer to make sure the door was shut. Castiel moved to lean against the wall and tucked his wings behind him.
Rick stood up and turned to look at the angel. Castiel didn't look at him. "You didn't want to shower with Dean?"
Castiel looked over the paper to meet Rick's stare. He didn't want to give him any reaction so he raised the page more to block his face.
"What's that?" Rick moved quickly and took the page from Castiel's hands.
The angel jumped up quickly and tried to take it back. Rick turned and looked at the paper.
"Are you trying to learn sign language?" Rick laughed. "What good would that do? Can you even read?"
Castiel glared at the back of Rick's head. The urge to knock him with his wings was getting strong and he had to ball his hands into fists to fight it.
Rick turned around with a smile on his face that fell quickly when he saw the furious look on Castiel's face. "You gonna do something, angel?"
He felt his lip twitch as his glare burned into Rick. The guy actually took a small step back but still laughed.
"Go ahead. I dare you."
Castiel turned and grabbed one of Dean's notebooks and a pen. He flipped the book open and wrote quickly.
Give that back to me.
Rick watched in shock as the angel wrote. He read the words and looked back up to the angel's eyes. "Well shit, you actually can read and write." Contempt was clear in his voice.
Castiel shook the notebook to repeat the words. He raised a brow at him in insistence.
"Fine." Rick flipped the page at him, causing it to float ungracefully to land under Dean's desk.
He didn't look away as the paper landed. He had no intention of picking it up when Rick was near him.
Why are you like this?
Rick huffed through his nose. "Believe me, I would much rather not have to deal with things like you."
Castiel pulled the notebook back and wrote with a heavy hand.
I am not a thing. My name is Castiel.
Rick laughed. "Don't get all worked up. You should've just gone to shower with your owner. I'm sure he would've worked that tension right out of you."
Anger flared in Castiel.
Don't talk about Dean like that. We don't do anything like that.
"Too bad. He doesn't even get anything good out of having something like you around. Stupid bastard." Rick shook his head and turned back to his desk.
Castiel was shaking in anger. He underlined the sentence about Dean and slammed it on the desk beside Rick.
Rick jumped slightly at the sound but just laughed. "Settle down. I'm sure Dean will fuck you soon enough."
Castiel furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head. He pulled the notebook back sharply, wishing he could hit him with it. He dropped the book on Dean's desk and tried to take deep breaths to relax.
"That's what you want isn't it?" Rick had stood again. "Most owners use angels for that at some point. Especially ones as cute as you."
Castiel turned his head slowly. Rick was sneering at him. His heart was pounding loudly in his ears. He could hear the voice of his last owner at that moment. He'd said something similar towards the end of his ownership and his skin crawled at the memory.
Rick could tell he'd struck a nerve and wanted to push it. "If Dean doesn't want to do it, I'm sure someone else would."
Castiel pulled back away from Rick unconsciously. Every nerve in his body said to run, but he just stared at Rick.
"I bet you'd like that too wouldn't you?" Rick put a hand on the back of both his and Dean's chairs, blocking Castiel's exit.
The angel shook his head. Fear was beginning to make him panic. Memories were flooding back from his last owner and his breathing picked up. He needed to get out. He wasn't safe.
"You gonna cry?" Rick laughed as the angel started to bow forward.
In a sudden burst of panic, Castiel ran forward and easily pushed Rick aside to get through the room and ran out the door. He was steps away from the bathroom Dean was in but he ran to the stairs instead and descended the flights a little too fast and tripped on the last step. He stumbled into the door at the bottom and hit his forehead with a painful thud.
Tears stung his eyes as he opened the door and kept running until he was outside. He needed air. He had to get out. He wasn't safe.
Dean entered the room feeling better than he had in a couple days. Showers always made him feel good. He was confused to find Castiel gone. He hadn't seen him in the bathroom. Rick was on his computer like nothing had happened.
"Where's Cas?"
Rick shrugged. "I don't know. I asked him about that paper he was looking at and he ran out the door."
Dean knew that didn't sound right. He looked at the bed and saw Castiel's phone on it. There was also an open notebook on his desk. Castiel's heavy writing was a quick read for Dean. He could guess some of what happened. The page of sign language under the desk added to it.
"Where the hell is he?!" Dean kicked the leg of Rick's chair.
"I don't know! God, don't blame me if you can't contain your angel." Rick rolled his eyes.
"Fuck you, dick." Dean slipped his shoes on without socks and pulled out his phone. He texted Charlie as he started walking around the boy's side of the floor.
Have you seen Cas? Rick Dick did something while I was in the shower and he's gone.
Oh no. sorry I haven't seen him. Try his phone?
He left it on his bed. Thanks if you see him let me know.
I will. Good luck
Dean checked every bathroom on the boy's side and didn't find him. He was getting scared. He wouldn't leave the floor without his phone, would he? As he passed Benny's room, the door was open and he stopped.
"Benny?" Dean knocked.
"Yes?" Benny appeared from around the corner. "You okay, Dean?"
"No, I can't find Cas." He held his phone with both hands.
"What happened?" Benny was alarmed by that.
"I was taking a shower and I think Rick said some things that upset him. When I came back, he was gone. He left his phone behind and I've looked all over the floor and he's not here." Dean grew more panicked by the word. Castiel wouldn't run away, right? Why would he do that?
"Okay. I'll help you look for him." Benny looked around the corner he'd come from and raised a hand. Dean figured he was motioning to Andrea.
They both went into the common area. Benny shut the door behind them. "I'll take this stairway. You take the other and we'll see if he's there. Just go down until we're on the ground level. He may've just gone outside."
"He wouldn't do that without telling me."
"We don't know what happened, Dean. Let's just check." Benny kept his voice calm and gently led Dean toward the stair doorway.
"Okay." Dean nodded and entered the stairway. Benny walked down to the other side and entered that stairway. He walked down a few steps and called out the angel's name.
He continued down until he reached the bottom floor. He went through the door and saw Benny waiting alone by the elevators.
"Nothing?" Benny walked over. Dean shook his head. "Alright, I'll look around inside on this floor. You go outside and check around the building." Dean nodded and took a step. "Hey," Benny put a hand on his shoulder, "we'll find him."
"I know." Dean gave a tight smile and went out the door. The cool night air only intensified his worry. How long had he been gone? He shook the thoughts away and started searching.
He had circled around to the back of the building and gotten a text from Benny saying he wasn't inside and that he would start looking outside too. There were a few trees across the sidewalk from the building and Dean could see the tops of a pair of wings behind the tree.
Dean ran, fear pounding in his chest. He circled the tree quickly and saw Castiel sitting against the trunk with his knees pulled up to his chest and his hands in his hair. He had jumped when Dean appeared in front of him but dropped his head when he saw who it was.
He sighed and fell to his knees across from the angel. He called Benny.
"I found him. He's okay. Thank you for helping me."
"No problem. If something like this happens again, let me know."
"I will." Dean put his phone in his pocket. He took a few quick breaths, trying to calm his fear. Castiel was okay. He was right there. Fear turned to anger.
"What are you doing?" It came out harsher than he meant, but he was scared. "Why would you leave like that, Cas? I was terrified that I'd never find you. What were you thinking?"
Castiel covered himself with his wings and shook his head. He felt so guilty for scaring Dean. He should've just stayed in the room.
"Cas?" Dean lowered his voice and sat in the grass. "Look at me." The angel shook his head. "Please?"
Castiel sniffed and slowly lifted his head. Tears stained his face and he was still having trouble taking regular breaths.
Dean's anger melted the second he has the angel's face. He looked so upset that Dean couldn't be mad. "God, what happened? Are you okay?" He moved closer and reached out a hand.
Castiel jumped and pulled in closer to the tree. Dean pulled his hand back. It was like the first day on the street again. He moved back and back up to his knees.
"How can I help?"
The angel sniffed again and wiped his face and nose with his sleeve. He didn't want Dean to leave, but his panic jumped when he got closer. His breathing started skipping and he felt like he was hyperventilating.
"Cas?" Dean was alarmed by the way the angel was breathing. He seemed to be having a panic attack and he didn't know what to do.
He was getting light headed and he felt his arms reach out for Dean. The other boy took his hands and tried to make eye contact.
"Cas, look at me." Dean ducked his head down. Castiel's eyes were starting to glaze over. "Look at me, please."
Castiel looked up at Dean's wide eyes. He could tell that Dean was scared but he felt better when he looked at the green in his eyes. It made him think of freshly cut grass and the smell it had.
"Breathe with me, Cas. Stay with me." Dean waited until Castiel seemed to be more focused and took a deep breath. Castiel copied him. He held it a second and then let it out. Castiel followed. He did it a few times and felt Castiel's grip loosen.
He felt his panic fade and his heart rate slow. He breathed with Dean until he felt relaxed. He bowed his head and let go of him.
Dean grabbed Castiel's shoulders. "Are you okay?" The angel nodded. "Thank god." Dean pulled Castiel close in a tight hug.
The angel was surprised by the hug and held Dean close. He dropped his head onto Dean's shoulder and felt tears well up in his eyes. Shame burned inside as he thought of what he'd put him through.
Dean was going to pull back but Castiel held him tighter so he stayed where he was. "Okay, you're okay." Dean held him and just let him find whatever comfort he needed.
Castiel took a few shaky breaths and tried to keep the tears down. He was fine now. Dean was here and he was safe.
"Did he hurt you, Cas? Did he touch you at all?" The very thought made Dean angry again. The angel shook his head. "Good. What happened?"
Castiel pulled back slightly but kept his hands on Dean's arms. He wanted to tell him, but he was nervous about how he'd react.
"You can tell me, Cas." Dean could tell Castiel was worried or maybe embarrassed. "Did you want to go back inside?"
He didn't want to go back to the room yet at all. Castiel shook his head and gestured to Dean's phone. He handed it over so Castiel could type.
He was mocking me about learning sign language. Then he said some things about you that made me mad. I shouldn't have left. I'm sorry.
Dean read over the text slowly. He doubted that was everything that happened, but Castiel didn't want to talk about it.
"Alright, it's okay now. Maybe I should bring you to class with me, if you're worried about being alone with Rick again?"
Castiel shook his head. He didn't want to put him in that position. Castiel began to doubt his readiness to be here with Dean. Maybe he should've just stayed behind with the family. He took the phone back from Dean.
Maybe it would be best if I went back to stay with your parents. I can't have a panic attack every time someone says something mean.
It was hard for him to hand the phone back with that on it, but he thought it would be for the best. He felt like he might cry again when Dean started reading it.
"No, Cas." Dean looked up with wide eyes. "I don't want you to leave. I mean, I won't force you to stay, but I want you here."
Tears formed in his eyes and Castiel dropped his head. He wasn't sure he was strong enough to deal with Rick and others like him. He typed as much on the phone.
"You are strong. If you let that asshole chase you out of here, he wins. Don't give him that power over you."
You don't understand
"No, I don't. I can't ever understand what you've been through or how you feel. All I know is that I want you here with me." Dean grabbed Castiel's hands. "Please, don't leave."
Castiel looked Dean in the eye and knew that he wouldn't be able to say no to him. He nodded and pulled his hands free to hand the phone back to Dean.
"You'll stay?" Castiel nodded again. Dean felt relief wash over him. He moved to sit beside Castiel and leaned against the tree. "We can just stay out here as long as you want."
He was grateful for that and sat silently with Dean for a couple minutes. He was feeling a lot better, but he didn't want to go back to the room. He just wanted to forget what happened and what it brought up.
"Oh shit!" Dean jumped, making Castiel jump too. "Sorry, I just remembered that I need to let Charlie know I found you."
He texted her and she was relieved. Dean apologized for not telling her sooner, but she was okay.
"You ready to head up yet?" He didn't want to rush him, but it was getting late. Castiel shook his head. "Okay."
It was about fifteen minutes later when Castiel felt ready to leave. They stood and entered the building again. They'd gotten up a couple flights of stairs when Castiel started to get nervous. He pulled on Dean's arm to stop him.
"Its okay, Cas. I'm right here." Dean held his shoulders. "We can wait."
Castiel's heart was thudding loudly in his ears. He wished he didn't feel this way. He knew he would be okay but he couldn't make his feet move.
Dean held Castiel's hand and took a slow step up, leading him up with him. They got up a couple steps before Castiel stopped again. Dean couldn't imagine what he'd been through for him to react like this.
He took a few breaths and tried to move forward, but he was too scared. He was frustrated with himself and dropped Dean's hand.
"Cas?"
The angel was angry and kicked one of the steps. Dean grabbed his shoulders again.
"We can stop again. It's okay."
Castiel looked down and dropped his wings. He moved forward quickly and buried his face in Dean's chest. Dean huffed in surprise and hooked an arm around Castiel's neck and waist.
"It's okay. Just stay with me, Cas. You're okay." Dean held Castiel briefly and then started moving them both up the stairs. It was a little awkward moving sideways, but he managed. Castiel seemed okay with it while Dean held onto him.
They finally made it to their floor and Dean released Castiel. "You ready?" Castiel nodded.
Dean unlocked the door and walked in with Castiel. The angel held his hand and followed close, like he used to do in public.
Dean hesitated at the door to their room but he opened it. Castiel's grip tightened but he followed. Rick's light was off and he was in his bed.
Castiel locked the door and let go of Dean. He was taking slow breaths to calm himself. There wouldn't be any more conflicts tonight.
"My first class isn't until 11 tomorrow so I'll be here if you need anything." Dean looked at his pajama pants and they were covered in grass stains and mud. He sighed and slipped them off. He would just sleep in a shirt and boxers.
Castiel turned to the closet and opened it to find his pajama pants. Dean patted his arm and then walked over to their beds.
Dean noticed the page with the sign language alphabet on it under his desk and bent down to pick it up. He held it out for Castiel when he came over after changing.
"Don't lose this. We need to keep practicing." He smiled at the angel.
Castiel took it and nodded. He pulled his sheets down as Dean put everything back in his desk before climbing the ladder to his top bunk.
"Goodnight, Cas."
He looked up to smile at Dean as he leaned over the edge of the bed. He turned the light off and slipped under his covers. Being able to hear Dean move and breathe above him helped him feel a little more calm as he tried to fall asleep. Hopefully he wouldn't have any bad dreams tonight.
Dean and Castiel were sitting on his bed and going over the sign language alphabet together. Rick had left early without a word. Castiel seemed to already have the alphabet down. Dean was struggling. He didn't feel too bad since they'd only had one lesson.
"And what's G again?" Dean made the signs through F and got stuck.
Castiel smiled and showed him the sign.
"Right, duh." Dean laughed and made the sign.
Castiel held up his board. Ready?
"Yeah, go." Castiel was signing random letters and Dean was guessing what it was.
They did this for about twenty minutes. Dean had gotten most of them right and he and Castiel were laughing as they spelled curse words at each other. His first class of the day was starting soon, but Dean didn't want to go. He was having fun with Castiel.
Castiel looked at his phone to check the time. Dean needed to be going soon. He held his phone in his left hand while he signed with his right.
'Class soon?'
As Dean processed the letters Castiel was signing, he squinted his eyes. "Oh, yeah. I should be going soon." He sighed and let his legs fall over the side of Castiel's bed. "Text me if anything happens. I'll keep my phone in sight. I'll come right over if you have trouble."
Castiel nodded. Since they didn't know Rick's schedule, neither one of them knew when he'd be in the room. He still felt a little nervous about what happened the night before, but he hoped he'd be able to handle it next time.
Dean stood and gathered his things for class. "I just have the one this morning so I'll be back in about an hour."
Castiel waved and watched him leave, locking the door behind him. He picked up his alphabet sheet again and studied it. He planned to practice more while he was alone.
Dean checked his phone frequently during class, but he never got a text. He returned to his room and found Castiel still alone. They went to get lunch together and then Dean worked on some of his assignments from his Monday classes. It was a quiet day for them.