4ABY: Chandrila

Jyn sat on the expensive sofa, Kalei in her arms, as she watched Cassian and Han Solo admire and assemble a new line of weapons across from her. Han had arrived on Chandrila several hours after Jyn and Cassian and promptly set himself up in the back bedroom. Of course, Han had brought his new toys with him and Jyn felt her fingers ache for the touch of a blaster. Instead, Kalei cooed away in her arms, oblivious to the dangerous items being handled not far from her. Jyn thought she should feel a sense of concern for having her daughter in the same room as several loaded guns, but she trusted Cassian and Han. In a sad way, the presence of a large ensemble of weapons made her feel at ease.

"This one would suite you," Han said to Jyn as he lifted a smooth, light-weight blaster.

Jyn merely shrugged with a smirk. "My hands are full."

"I'll hold her while you test this one out," Han said eagerly. He stepped over the low table to sit beside her; Jyn carefully handed Kalei over. When she turned to Cassian, she saw disproval in his eyes. He quickly averted his gaze from his wife and down to the weapon he held. She wasn't sure if the disapproval was from their daughter being so close to such dangerous items or because Jyn was more than happy to replace their daughter with a blaster.

Jyn picked up the gun, measuring the weight in her hand. "Didn't think a blaster could feel this light. Where'd you get it?"

Han smirked. "Secrets of a smuggler cannot always be told."

Jyn rolled her eyes. "As much as I appreciate you showing us these weapons, I fail to see how I'm going to ever use them."

Han shifted Kalei in his arms as she kicked her little legs into his ribs. "I assumed you'd need some new gear once you get back out in the field."

"I'll be training recruits at the academy."

Han looked at Cassian before looking back at Jyn. "No one's told you."

Jyn frowned, looking at Cassian. "What is he talking about?"

Cassian sighed, placing the rifle down with a heavy thud. "There has been talk of transferring you to a pathfinder squad."

"When I heard," Han began, "I asked for you to join my pathfinders."

Jyn's mouth was ajar as she continued to stare at Cassian. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Nothing is certain yet," he defended.

"That's a poor excuse and you should have told me." The hurt in Jyn's voice was apparent that Han looked between the married couple uncomfortably.

"I might go see how Chewie is doing." He stood up. "I can take Kalei if you like."

"No, give her to me," Cassian said, standing up with his hands outreached. "She stays with us."

Jyn stood also. "Don't act so defensively. I trust Han with our daughter."

"This has nothing to do with trust," Cassian's voice was becoming dangerously low. "It has to do with the fact I have been away from my daughter for weeks and I'd like to have her close."

"It's okay," Han began, but Jyn raised her hand to silence him.

"And you have no problem with the idea of sending me away for long periods of time? Away from our daughter?"

"I only found out when I arrived back on Hosnian Prime," Cassian replied. "I was more focused on seeing you and Kalei."

"You had plenty of time to tell me between then and now," Jyn almost shouted. "The ride to the space port; the flight here!"

"Okay, okay," Han said loudly. "I'm leaving now." Cassian took Kalei into his arms as she began to cry.

Once Han had left the room, Jyn stormed over to Cassian. "Whose idea was this?"

Kalei began to cry louder causing her parents to look down at her. "We can discuss this later," Cassian replied, making his way to their bedroom.

Jyn wanted to follow; to grab Cassian by the shoulder and make him talk, but their daughter came first so she let him go. She let out an exasperated sigh as she flopped back onto the sofa. It wasn't just Cassian she was angry at; she was angry at herself for wanting to go back into the thick of it. She had been given the opportunity to settle down after the war, and for a while she wanted that lifestyle. These days she found herself daydreaming of travelling away, working a mission and enjoying the adrenaline rush from a good fight. She hated herself for wanting this.

Eventually the sounds of Kalei's cries subsided and the house quietened so only the birds outside could be heard chirping away. Jyn got up and headed for the bedroom. Cassian was sitting on the end of the bed while Kalei had drifted off to sleep in the bassinet before him. His eyes were weary as he looked up at Jyn; too tired to fight. Jyn edged her way over to sit beside him. They stayed that way in silence while watching their daughter sleep; the small movements of her chest rising and falling as she breathed. Cassian's hand found its way over to hers and Jyn squeezed tightly. She was so exhausted with everything and everyone.

"I should have told you sooner," Cassian spoke quietly. "Since it wasn't confirmed I thought it best not to tell you in case nothing happened."

"I'm not angry at you," Jyn replied equally quiet. "I'm angry at myself."

Cassian looked at her, confusion written all over his face. "Why?"

It didn't matter how long they had known each other or how long they had been in a relationship, talking through their problems had always been a major dilemma for the two of them.

Jyn lowered her eyes to look at Kalei. "I hate myself for wanting it."

"You want to join pathfinders?" Cassian asked incredulously.

Jyn couldn't face him; she felt ashamed. "I'm just not..." She sighed sadly. "I'm not suited to our life on Hosnian Prime. It's not me."

"It was never part of the plan," Cassian replied. "We expected to still be fighting the empire."

"You still are."

Cassian ran his thumb along her knuckles. "A civil war on Coruscant that's about to end is hardly fighting a war."

"It's still something."

Cassian sighed heavily, defeated. "What do you want, Jyn? I can't help you unless you tell me."

Tears formed in Jyn's eyes, but still she would not look at her husband. "I want to fight. It's all I'm good at."

"Jyn, that's not true and you know that," Cassian said firmly. "In the time we've known each other you have done far more than fighting. Times have changed and..."

"That's it though," Jyn interrupted. "I didn't think I'd live to see everything change."

"Me either." Cassian placed his free hand on Jyn's chin and made her look at him. "I'm having just as much trouble adjusting as you. When I left for Coruscant, I'll admit I was glad to finally be doing something I knew I was good at. But my time away made me realise that I don't want to fight anymore. I have you and Kalei now." Cassian kissed his wife gently, wiping a tear away with his thumb. "Maybe you just need to experience that revelation too."

Jyn took a shaky breath. "What are you saying?"

"Join Han's pathfinders; get this out of your system. Then come home."

Jyn leaned back, surprised. "I can't leave Kalei!"

"I'll work with Han and find an assignment that won't take long," Cassian replied.

Jyn shook her head. "No, I can't do that. Kalei needs me."

"Kalei needs a mother who isn't going to hate herself," he replied in a stern yet gently manner. "I don't want this anymore than you do, but I think it's for the best."

Jyn was still hesitant. "I will not be separated from her. What if something happens... what if I can't get home in time...?"

Cassian shushed her with another soft kiss. "I'm not saying you have to do this, but if you do, I will support it."

"I can't."

Cassian pulled Jyn into an embrace, stroking her hair. "I understand. We can work through this together."

Jyn smiled into his chest, curling her fingers into a fist as she clutched at his shirt. "Isn't that what married couples are supposed to do?"

Cassian chuckled. "You and I have never been an ordinary couple, not even when we got married."

Jyn hummed in agreement. "I hope Bodhi has better luck than what we did."

"Bodhi is one lucky man." Cassian lifted Jyn's chin again to kiss her. "But so am I."

...

0ABY: Delta Base

Rogue One's arrival back to Delta Base was met with extreme reverence. They had rescued stranded rebels from the Battle of Scarif; something no one thought would happen. Better yet, they also had a former storm trooper in their custody. Shaden had disembarked from Rogue One cuffed, escorted by Sefla and Tonc into the base.

"He better provide usual intel," Draven said as they watched Shaden leave the hanger.

"He's been cooperative," Cassian replied, "and has been very insistent on not wanting to return to the empire."

Draven didn't look impressed. "We'll discuss his future later. For now I must debrief you all on what happened on Etheron and Nelvaan."

And what a debrief it was. Four hours of constant questions, clarifications, note taking and evaluation. Jyn had been exhausted from the moment they landed on Delta Base and now she found herself daydreaming of crawling into a soft bed and sleeping her problems away.

"Erso," Draven said, bringing her out of her fantasy, "report to medical. Best to check you over ourselves just to be safe."

Jyn glanced in Cassian's direction who in turn gave an encouraging nod. She got up, happy to leave the drearily bland room. In medical they check her vitals, placed a drip in her arm after determining she was dehydrated and ordered she get some sleep with the help of sedation. The brightness of the medical wing was a welcome as she shut her eyes. It didn't feel as dark when she did so, sensing the bright lights on the other side of her eyelids. She sighed happily, shifting into a more comfortable position before drifting off to sleep.

When Jyn awoke she found Chirrut sitting by her side in the small chair meditating. She smiled faintly as she adjusted her eyesight, still groggy from the sedation. Chirrut sensed her movement, opening his eyes. "I can feel your smile."

Jyn smiled wider. "It's good to see you."

"I have often contemplated our next meeting while we waited on Nelvaan. I sense the Force has changed recently."

Jyn rubbed her eyes as she sat up. "What'd you mean?"

"I sense... something new," he replied as if listening to his surroundings. "Goodness in the Force; hope."

"I met a boy on Yavin IV called Luke," Jyn began as she shifted through her recent memories. "He knew a Jedi."

Chirrut smiled. "A padawan?"

Jyn frowned. "What?"

"Was Luke his padawan? His student?"

"I think so," Jyn replied unsure. Everything leading up to the destruction of the Death Star had been a haze for Jyn. Everything happened so quickly and she had been so worried for Cassian... "We didn't speak much. He's a pilot; he destroyed the Death Star."

Chirrut nodded appreciatively. "The Force must be strong in him for such an achievement."

"I don't know where he is now. Probably helping scout for a new base."

"You will cross paths again," Chirrut confirmed.

"I hope so." Jyn looked around the room. "Where's Baze?"

"Getting much needed rest," Chirrut replied. "He was uneasy the entire time during our stay on Nelvaan."

"I think we all need rest."

"The Major has not rested since your return here. He is still working with the Generals."

Jyn swung her legs over the bed, preparing to get up. "How long have I been asleep for?"

"Fourteen hours."

Jyn blinked hard. "And he hasn't slept?"

"The Major is planning a major operation."

"What operation?"

Chirrut smiled. "You must ask him yourself. He will tell you with the rest of Rogue One."

"You're part of Rogue One," Jyn replied.

Chirrut was silent for a moment as if thinking on how to phrase his next words. "Baze and I will not be joining Rogue One."

"What?" Jyn couldn't believe this. She would not accept this.

"It is not our path," Chirrut replied. "We helped you accomplish the goal you were born for; we helped bring justice to those who died at the power of the Death Star, but now it is time we return to Jedha."

"Jedha is destroyed." Jyn still couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"The Holy City was destroyed," Chirrut clarified. "It was not the only settlement on the moon. There are survivors and refugees who need us more than you do. Our sacred duty to the temple is no longer required, but our duty to the people remains."

Jyn hated what she was hearing, but understood completely. "Does Baze want to do this?"

"He wants revenge on those who destroyed our home. That revenge will never be fully sated."

"That wasn't a clear answer."

"He needs sanctity or I fear he will travel down a dark path," Chirrut said. He reached out his hand so Jyn could take it. "This is not goodbye. The Major has taken on the task of returning us to Jedha." He squeezed Jyn's hand. "We will see each other again, and many times after that. Our paths must divide if we are to accomplish peace."

"I... I just..."

Chirrut stood up and placed his other hand over theirs. "This is not goodbye. You will take us to Jedha and see us off. Your alliance has agreed to send supplies with us to help those affected. The people of Jedha need us more than you do right now."

"And when I do need you?"

Chirrut smiled. "We will always be there for you when you need us most."

...

Jyn found Bodhi hunched over a cup of caff in the mess hall. She sat down opposite him. "I take it you heard we're going back to Jedha."

Bodhi continued to look down at his mug. "Yeah I heard. Its good Chirrut and Baze want to help out with rebuilding. Not many would do that."

"It's their home," Jyn replied softly. "I don't want them to go, but I get it."

"It's my home too," Bodhi replied.

Jyn swore her heart briefly stopped. "You're leaving too?"

Finally Bodhi looked up at Jyn. "What? No, no! Of course not!" He sighed heavily. "I... I'm just... well I'm afraid to go back there... after what happened; what I saw."

Jyn smiled sadly. "I know. What I saw during our escape will forever haunt me. But it's over now."

"My family is gone."

Jyn reached over and held his hand. "I'm sorry."

"I'm never going to see them again."

Jyn bit her bottom lip as she saw tears forming in Bodhi's eyes. She wanted to hug him badly; to take all the pain away. She knew all too well what he was going through; that aching feeling in your chest. "Tell me what to do?"

Bodhi quickly wiped his eyes. "It's okay. I need to go back. I need to see Jedha without the explosion; without the land falling from the sky."

"You need a new image to take away with you."

"Exactly."

Jyn let go of Bodhi's hand and leaned back in her chair. "When I think of Jedha, I think of Saw Gerrera; the man who raised me. I think of how he insisted that I leave without him. I miss him." She noticed how uncomfortable Bodhi became at the mention of Saw. "Sorry."

Bodhi shook his head. "It's fine. I'm glad you have those memories of him."

"I guess he hurt and tormented so many people, few would have such pleasant memories of him."

"I'm glad he had you," Bodhi replied. "I think he needed you more than you knew. He might have been different had you... well if things went differently."

Jyn grimaced. "Maybe, but I can't keep living in the past. I've been thinking about it for a while now. Hyperspace travel is so boring."

Bodhi managed a small laugh. "Yeah, it sure can be. Makes you think too much."

Jyn smiled faintly as her mind wandered to Cassian. "No, it doesn't."

...

4ABY: Chandrila

Cassian lay in bed with Jyn snuggled up to his side. They had agreed to nap before they headed out for dinner with everyone else. The sky was starting to set into a beautiful pink and orange shade and Cassian smiled at the thought of finally being home with his girls. Being separated from Kalei had been far difficult than he predicted and he often wondered how Jyn was coping alone. Their daughter was beautiful; taking after her mother (though Jyn disagreed). On the flight to Chandrila, Jyn had fallen asleep quickly while Cassian held Kalei, more than happy to just sit there and watch his daughter wriggle about in his arms.

Jyn stirred next to him, running her leg up between his legs. He felt himself arouse at her movement, missing their intimate connections far more than he was letting on. It had been months since they had slept together and Cassian was hoping that would change here on Chandrila. He lifted his head at the sound of Kalei gurgling and noticed one of her tiny hands waving up in the air. He felt guilty for her sudden outburst earlier that afternoon. Arguing with Jyn in front of their daughter was not something he was proud of. He was just glad she was too young to remember. Never again.

"Time is it?" Jyn mumbled half asleep.

Cassian checked. "We gotta be there in two hours."

Jyn groaned, rubbing her face into his neck. "Can we call ahead and say Kalei is being fussy."

Cassian chuckled. "I fear our daughter is well too behaved tonight."

Jyn lifted her head to look over at the bassinet. "She's only behaving because you're home."

Giving his wife a quick kiss on the forehead, he got up and headed for the refresher. Jyn sat up, stretching her tired limbs. The sound of the shower running calmed Jyn as she remembered Cassian was home again. She crawled over to the end of the bed and picked Kalei up out of the bassinet.

"How long have you been awake for," Jyn asked playfully. "I hope you won't be too cranky at dinner tonight. Everyone is going to want to hold and admire you."

Kalei wriggled about, gurgling away happily.

Jyn smiled with utter joy. "You're going to meet Uncle Baze and Uncle Chirrut tonight. No doubt Uncle Baze is going to spoil you!"

Kalei placed her fist into her mouth, chewing away.

"One day I'm going to take you to their home world, Jedha. Their home was destroyed years ago, but they founded a new settlement far to the west. It's small but beautiful; plenty of space for little girls to run wild."

It was true. The small settlement had been founded not long after the Guardians returned to Jedha. A small population of less than three hundred; all mixed species. It had been hard, but they prevailed. It had taken Jyn ages to accept that Chirrut and Baze needed to return to Jedha, and it was only after seeing what they had accomplished there that Jyn felt at peace with all that had happened to Jedha.

Cassian exited to refresher while buttoning up his shirt. Jyn placed Kalei down on the bed as she stepped over to embrace him.

"Mmm, what's this?" he asked, running his hand down her back.

"For putting up with me," Jyn replied.

"It's not easy," Cassian replied light-heartedly. "I sometimes wonder what I have gotten myself into."

Jyn leaned up to kiss him. "You got a home."

Jyn and Cassian held each other while watching Kalei. "I can accept that."