IMPORTANT: I did change my name, so make sure you're now looking for Broke Dujor

I constantly have to apologize to my readers because I'm terrible at updating my stories and this time is no different, if you are regular readers of mine I have no idea why you've stuck with me but I'm always grateful to you, I don't deserve you one bit! If your new here . . . I hope I stop disappointing with my lack of updating but real life is not the best right now. I'll try though.

School passes by me in a daze of tests that I aced, juicy gossip I'd usually partake in and nerves of the unknown.

I've been to the shooting range many, many times. I can shoot a target the size of a cherry from a mile away. But this obviously won't be a regular trip to hone my marksmanship.

If I'm being honest with myself, I know what I'll have to do. Emmett's never said anything about tests, neither has Papa, but only an idiot would be blindsided by tasks to prove your worth. But even though I know I'll have to end someone's life today for the very first time, a part of me prays, to a God I'm not sure I even believe in, that I'm wrong.

My friends are laughing beside me and I join in mindlessly but my brain is too occupied to really mean it.

This is what I've been training for since I was seven. I've dedicated my life to being something other than a housewife stuck in a prison of her own marriage. I knew this day would come, fought for the right to take my place in my families outfit and now that it's encroaching upon me, I'm floundering on the inside.

What was the point of Papa risking everything he has ever worked for, training me, if the thought of doing the hardest part of the job makes my insides twist?

"Bella? Bella, are you listening?" My friend Angela says through giggles.

I quickly turn to her with a fake sheepish smile, "Sorry, I got caught up thinking about next period, I have a killer math test after lunch."

She accepts my story with no second thought and joins back in on the conversation. Something about Jessica Stanley caught giving Mike Newton head in his car last night in the school parking lot.

What an idiot, we live in New York, there are much more conspicuous places to do that shit than a school parking lot. Lucky for her, her father is a councilmen so she didn't get expelled. And since she didn't, the school couldn't expel Mike either and keep face, so even though he's a son of a nobody, he gets to stay too. Pity.

The bell rings for lunches end, and I'm glad for it, I do have a test but it'll be cake and I can continue worrying myself sick.

"Wait, Bella, are you coming to Lauren's place tonight? Her mom is out of town and Tracy scored some X!"

I smile at Angela, wishing I could go and partake, but it wouldn't be wise to get high off ecstasy than kill someone for crimes committed against my family.

"Sorry, can't, got family stuff tonight."

She pouts but accepts my answer easily enough.

I spend my last two classes like I did my first four, on autopilot, tormenting myself with thoughts of everything that could go wrong.

What if I'm unable to kill?

I know how this is going to go. My father is going to walk me through the front of the shooting range that acts as a store, where you can buy your guns and ammo. It's says it's open to the public, but everybody knows that's for political reasons. Civilians steer clear, knowing if you are not a part of the Swan outfit, you're not welcome.

We'll bypass the store that will be empty. It always is, nobody can see Papa leading me to the gun range in the back. Nobody can witness him teaching me to shoot. Nobody can know I'm not going to settle into the traditional female role this life wants to force me into.

Today will be different. Today we'll bypass the shooting terminals. We'll go deeper into the building. A soundproof room, we like to call the Deep End. If you find yourself falling into it, you never surface again. If you have even an iota of an inkling that you're going to be taken into the Deep End, you're already dead.

If I can't pull the trigger everything my father has invested in me will have been for nothing and it will be all my fault.

Honestly, that would be worst than being outed, found out and stopped by outside forces, I.e. Grandpa James. At least then it wouldn't have been my sole fault for ruining almost 11 years of hard work.

"You're going to throw up afterwards." Emmett whispers in my ear, making me gasp.

I turn suddenly, startled by him, which is not like me at all.

"What? What are you talking about? Are you sick?" I play dumb, as my heart resets itself.

Emmett smirks down at me as we wait at the front of our school for our ride to pull up.

"I know what you're going through. And trust me, if I could do it, you can. But you will throw up afterwards; try not to in front of Dad, but even if you do, he'll forgive you."

I just stare at my twin, shocked he's speaking so candidly about me not only killing someone within the next few hours but everything leading up to this day. Eleven years of broken protocol, spitting in the face of hundreds of years of tradition. And taking what would have rightfully been his place beside our father.

"How long have you known? Aren't you angry at what Papa and I are doing? How can you be so calm about this?" I blabber semi-hysterically under my breath.

Emmett grins down at me, his dimples popping proudly.

"I've know what you and dad have been doing since our 13th birthday, but I'm guessing you and him have been working at it a lot longer than that. No, I'm not angry. And very easily, actually."

"How did you find out?"

Em looks around us to make sure no one is eavesdropping.

"When we were sent off to bed that night, I remembered I had a present for you, remember? That necklace?"

I giggle, remembering he had found a necklace that said 'Fuckity', at a naughty novelty store he snuck into.

"Ya, I remember, I actually think I still have it somewhere in my closet."

"You better! But anyways I went to give it to you, when I overheard you and dad talking . . . " he looks at me expectantly, wanting me to fill in the blank.

And it dawns on me.

That night dad gave me my first gun. One that I could keep.

Emmett sees that I remember my present from dad and nods his head.

"To be honest if I hadn't overheard him giving you that gift, I probably would have continued being clueless, I mean you're a very good actress, you never gave a single hint to what you were up to, kept on complaining about dance lessons —"

"Yeah! 'Cause I was forced to keep doing them!" I point out angrily.

Even when I got my way about being trained, I still had to do what the other girls were expected to do. And what did I get for it? A useless, to me, skill and feet that curve too much. Seriously they're fucking weird looking.

"Ahaha sucker," Emmett mocks, until I punch him on the shoulder halfheartedly.

"But Em . . . You do understand, that um, I'm gonna, um," Fuck, I don't know how to say it and not hurt his pride.

"Gonna be dads' right hand? Yeah, I know, and I'm fine with it. You're the right person for the job."

I bite my lip, not sure I completely believe him.

"I know this isn't the life you want but wither you like it or not, this is our life and when the rest of them see that dad chose me over his son, they're not gonna go easy on you."

I'm gonna have a very hard time being taken seriously, the men are not going to want to follow a woman, I know I'm going to have to prove myself at literally every turn. But Emmett will too. He'll be humiliated, coming in behind a girl.

"I may not like what we're about to become, but I will do it. I won't abandon my family. And anybody that wants to give me shit, is free to do so. Don't worry about me, sissy, I'll take care of them. I'm not always against the violence." He grins and I do too, a little less worried now.

It pleases me I'll have him by my side, even though I'll be Papas chosen successor, Emmett will still be by our side. But it also saddens me it's not necessarily where he would want to be if given a choice.

But at least I'll be taking the bulk of the responsibility. It's then I realize, me taking this role from Emmett is kinda setting him free. Not completely, but as much as possible.

I look up at my brother and know that I cannot fail. My actions will not only shape the future I want, but also the future Emmett wants or more precisely the future he doesn't want. If I fail he'll have to take my spot besides Papa. The last place he wants.

You would think that would make what's a head of me easier, this new weight upon my shoulders should have helped my resolve to strengthen — to protect my brother.

But instead my gut twists again, fear of failing suffocating me twice fold.

Please review and tell me what you think, once this is posted I'm gonna try and write the next chapter and post it as soon as possible and when I'm in a writing mode, like now, reviews always help me move along.