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When he had first woken up in his armor body, he hadn't had a chance to question things, to panic- His brother lay on the ground before him, bleeding to death while the monster that he had hoped to call mother writhed on the ground a few feet away.

He did the only thing he could think of- save Ed. That was all that truly mattered. He would worry about what had happened to himself later. Brother came first, always.

After that, it would take a long time before Alphonse could look in the mirror without wanting to break it.

Now was like then, really. He was beyond grateful to have his body back. Ecstatic.

It was also overwhelming and took some adjusting to.

Alphonse was truly alone for the first time since he had been pulled from the Gateway of Truth. It was a week into their hospital stay and Ed had been carted off for surgery to remove the remaining metal bits in his shoulder joint.

Ed had stalled and put it off as much as he could but as the days passed it was apparent he was suffering from the irritation in the muscle and risked infection if it wasn't removed soon.

Ed had acted like he was nervous about the surgery itself, but Alphonse could tell his older brother was nervous about leaving him alone. Finally Alphonse smiled and promised he would still be here when Ed got back and that was just enough to get Ed to go.

And so Al was alone with his body.

He lay on his back atop his blankets, eyes closed, in such a way that someone passing by might think he was sleeping. But he wasn't asleep. He was listening.

Not to the hum of activity that the busy hospital always generated, or to the low babble of the wind that tousled the trees and played with the drapes through the open window. He lay there and listened to himself, to the pounding of his own heart and the dull roar of blood behind his ears.

My body. He lifted a hand and laid it on his chest, feeling the steady beat. It's alive. And loud.

Breathing felt so foreign and yet it came so naturally. He listened to that too. In and out, over and over again.

He listened, and he felt.

His legs ached. His head hurt. He had begun physical therapy only a couple days ago and already his muscles screamed in pain. It hurt. The light pricked the back of his eyelids. He felt the wind stir and tickle his face with loose strands of long hair. He felt the softness of his bed and pillows all around him. He felt his stomach growl in anticipation of lunch. He felt everything. It was amazing. It wasn't enough and it was way too much all at once.

Alphonse finally sighed and sat up. His head swam at the sudden movement but he quickly steadied himself. Even the bad… even the bad feelings were a bit of a joy. The act of feeling at all. There was so so much to a human body and the way it felt… it was overwhelming, but also so amazing.

Al turned toward the private bathroom that was connected to their room. His hands clenched atop the covers and he sighed. After a moment of steadying himself he managed to swing his legs off the bed and stand. He knew Ed would kill him if he knew Al was walking by himself but Al's independent streak and dignity drove him despite the obvious scolding he would receive if he happened to trip or collapse.

He made it to the bathroom easily enough. Luckily, using the toilet was not what was on his mind (speaking of which, actually going to the bathroom after five years was one hell of an awkward experience that he would rather carry to the grave than share with anyone outside of his brother).

Al made it to the sink and leaned against the porcelain- it felt cool against his hands. He stared at the sink for a while, steeling himself before finally looking in the mirror.

The face looking back at him was not his face, in so many ways. First of all, he wasn't used to his new eye level yet. Second, he was not the intimidating titan of steel he had come to accept as himself. Third… he was not what he had expected.

Alphonse was not an idiot. Once he realized his body was still alive and existed within the Truth, he could easily put together that this meant his body would be different than the one he had lost. His body would surely age and change and grow, or so he presumed. He couldn't bare the thought of returning to the body of a ten year old with the mind of a fifteen year old, any more than he could bare the thought of his body wasting away and becoming a corpse due to not receiving any sort of nutrients.

Luckily enough, his and Ed's theory about his body surviving due to its link to Ed seemed to be true. His body had survived and lived and aged normally- well. Mostly. If you could call "basically a skeleton with hair" normally.

It just… wasn't what he had expected.

When Mei had asked him what he looked like back at Dr Knox's, he had answered automatically, without much thought. He had answered based off what he had fabricated to be himself in his own mind. Blonde, of course. Taller than Ed, always. Kind, patient, charming, gentle, - handsome? Looking at his sunken face and scrawny frame, that was laughable.

To be fair, he thought, he had already gained quite a bit of weight. His face was fuller, and his hands didn't look quite so bony. His ribs didn't show as much and the dark circles under his eyes were far less prominent. He was glad to see he had gone from scary metal man to scary skeleton boy to a young man that finally seemed to be healing and regaining some sense of himself.

Even though the face in the mirror was unfamiliar, even though he didn't get the chance to grow up with the face he saw in the mirror, watching it change little by little and day by day- it was his. It was him.

Despite this, Alphonse still frowned at what he saw in the mirror. He wasn't happy. He fingered the long plait of hair that one of the nurses had braided for him to keep it out of his way that morning. His eye twitched in irritation as he glanced back at the mirror.

He looked like Ed.

It was late afternoon when Ed was rolled back into the shared hospital room. He had insisted he could walk but the nurses insisted the wheelchair was protocol. He was grateful for the wheelchair halfway through, though, seeing as he was still groggy from anesthesia and practically fell asleep on the way there.

He perked up when he was delivered to their room. Alphonse looked up from the book he was reading to smile and greet his brother. Ed grinned as he stood.

"Hey, look at you," he said as he socked his brother in the shoulder playfully and ran a hand through his shorter gold locks. "When did this happen!"

Alphonse grinned good naturedly but also tried to swat his brother's hand away from messing up his neat hair. "I asked one of the nurses to cut it this morning. I don't know how you do it, brother, long hair is such a pain!"

"Yeah, but you gotta admit," Ed said with a devious grin as he struck a cocky pose, flicking his ponytail over his shoulder in a showy way, "it looks cool!"

Alphonse had a face of total innocence when he said, "I think it makes you look like dad."

Edward froze then grumbled something about finding a pair of scissors.

Despite it being super confidential, it didn't take long for word of the Elric brothers' condition and location to get out, and soon their shared room was overflowing with presents.

Any flat surface was covered in vases of flowers so that the room constantly smelled perfumed and full of fragrance (Ed caught Alphonse sticking his face in them more than once).There were stuffed animals piled in the corner chair, which, both being teenaged boys, they weren't sure what to do with but decided to give them to Elicia when they checked out (though Edward had taken a liking to a particular stuffed penguin and Al wasn't surprised when, months later, he would find it hidden under Ed's bed).

They were sent get well cards, thank you notes, baskets of snacks and certificates to shops to be spent once they were well enough to check out. Ed and Al felt so indebted to so many people, they were shocked to see how many people felt indebted to them.

Well. They did help save the world and everything.

Ed and Al had just been given their mail for the day. Ed was laying across Al's bed, reading a letter from Winry while Al perused a magazine. They both snacked out of a tin of cookies they had been given.

"What's it say," Al asked when Ed sat up grinning.

"Looks like we don't have to worry about a place to stay anymore."

Both boys had been wondering what they would call "home" permanently from now on. They had stayed with the Rockbells before during their travels but had never really settled down. Now, they were worried about imposing or overstaying their welcome but knew that Alphonse would need a permanent place to live while he fully recuperated. They had considered all the options- the Curtises would welcome them like family, but their house was too small for four people, the military could make accommodations for them but then they would be in the thick of everything going on at Central and quite frankly they needed a break from everything.

"They said it's cool if we stay with them once we're released! And," Ed continued with a grin, "she said she'll have an apple pie ready when we get there if we just call first."

"Yeah!" Alphonse threw his arms up in glee. "We better remember to call, then!"

"Yeah, we'll have to remember this time. She also wants to know if she can come visit since the travel ban is being lifted?"

The last part was presented as a question to Alphonse with a quirked brow. Al's joyous smile turned to a reluctant frown.

"I don't know… I mean, I really want to see her! I just…," Al cupped his own face which was quickly reddening, "don't want her to see me."

"Are you sure?"

"It would just cause her to worry," Alphonse mumbled as he picked up another cookie. "I'd like to wait to see everyone until I'm a healthier weight."

"I know what you mean." Ed said, leaning over with a smile on his face, poking at his brother's stomach. "You keep eating like this though, you're gonna fat."

"Good!" Alphonse managed around a mouthful of cookies as he crammed four more into his mouth at once. "Ah'd radder be fat."

Ed laughed until tears were in his eyes but assumed Al got a stomach ache after that because he pushed the tin of cookies aside, out of reach.

Ed wiped at his eyes and asked, "Whatcha readin'?"

"Oh, it's just a magazine. I'm not really reading so much as looking at clothes. I can't wait to wear something other than a loincloth." Alphonse gave a small laugh as he turned the page, then brought the magazine up to his face and groaned. "Ugh, I just realized- I don't have any money for this stuff! I won't be well enough for a job for a long time too."

Ed rolled up the letter from Winry and playfully smacked Al in the head with it, making him drop the magazine. "Don't worry about that stuff, if you need it I'll buy it, like always."

"I can't just keep mooching off you forever though! I obviously couldn't hold a job as a suit of armor, but I didn't really need much then- hotel fair and the occasional book or can of oil. Now I need clothes, and food, and- and a toothbrush!"

It seemed like Alphonse was realizing a lot of things all at once with the way he was babbling.

"Little bro, I will buy you a toothbrush," he said almost deadpan then laughed. "Don't worry so much I've got enough money in my savings from being a State Alchemist…."

Eds voice trailed off and Al could see that he was the one suddenly realizing something as Edward babbled and clenched and unclenched his hands . "A job I won't have anymore… Because I can't do alchemy anymore...Oh yeah…"

There was silence while he processed that, then:

"What the hell! I can't get a normal job, alchemy's all I'm good at!"

"I know!" Al agreed. "That's what I'm saying!"

"What the hell, they can't just fire me right? I mean, the contract never said had to be able to perform alchemy right!?"

"I don't know, you signed it not me!"

"Little brother," Ed said, suddenly in Al's face, dramatically taking both his hands in his, eyes big and watery. "You're gonna have to carry on the family business, I don't think I can do it anymore."

"Ed I can barely walk!" Al groaned, unsure if his brother was being melodramatic for comedic effect or just being dramatic.

The older blonde boy wilted right there on the bed and buried his face. "I'm gonna have to get a normal job. Say goodbye to my youth, time to sign myself off to some sweatshop."

He was being dramatic. Al smiled a bit and reached out to pet Ed on the head. "There, there. I'm sure the job market is in high demand for shorter-than-average ex-military men with an automail leg."

Ed shot him a glare, the reaction he knew he would get. "Hey, I'm taller than you."

"Yeah," Alphonse agreed, totally not smug at all. "For now."

"Ya know what," Ed said as he sat up, a bit huffy. "I changed my mind. I'm not gonna buy you a toothbrush after all."

Alphonse couldn't help but laugh and shortly after Ed joined him. Any of the earlier tension or fear was dissolved completely.

"Have you transmuted anything, yet," Ed asked seriously once he sat back up.

"No, not yet."

Al looked around and grabbed one of the plastic cups from the bedside table. He set it on his lap tray, hesitated a moment before finally bringing his hands together then gently pressed them to the cool surface.

There was the familiar bright blue spark and when the light cleared, a small plastic cat sat in the middle of the tray.

"Ooooh, that feels weird," Al said as he flexed his hands open and close. "I forgot using alchemy felt like that!"

"Haha, yeah, it'll definitely wake you up." Ed had to admit he was envious but he was glad to see that Al's ability to use alchemy seemed to be unaffected by his current health. Al tried not to look too happy about it but he was glad too. He didn't want to gloat when Ed was still mourning the loss of his ability to transmute.

"Looks like you really will have to carry on the family business for me."

Al laughed that off, turning the cup back to normal. "Please, I'm nowhere near as skilled you are."

"I dunno, you did some pretty badass stuff when fighting Father. You were already a better fighter than me, you just might surpass me in alchemy too," he said, ruffling Al's hair, 100% aware of how it annoyed him.

"Well, I'm sure you could knock me flat right now, so,... equivalent exchange, huh?"

"Yeah. Equivalent exchange."

That night Alphonse listened to Ed as he lay asleep. He had spent so many nights doing just that, it was a hard habit to break even as sleep made his eyelids heavy and his mind fuzzy.

The worst part of being trapped in the armor were the nights alone. Most of the time he had to stay confined to whatever hotel he and Ed checked into since a large man in armor walking around at night would be quite alarming. He spent a lot of his nights reading history books and trashy romance novels, anything he could get his hands on to occupy his mind. He would have killed to have the ability to just sleep away the endless hours rather than stomach another dime store novel.

Now he found sleep was the last thing he wanted. Not because anything had changed, he still hated being up alone at night. But when he closed his eyes he found he was not alone in a horrible way- his dreams were haunted with all the horrors he had witnessed in the past five years and they shook him to the core every time.

His eyes grew heavy and he began to drift off to sleep- and he saw her face. Their mother. And the thing that was not their mother.

His eyes snapped open and he grumbled in irritation. He rolled and tried to sleep again. This time he saw Nina.

Again his eyes snapped open and he fought back the tears that threatened to well up and spill over.

It happened over and over again.

Winry. Rose. Martel. Lan Fan. Mei.

Al jolted awake, trying to block out the sounds of a young girl sobbing his name. His hands shook a bit as he reached over to turn on the lamp and double check that his hands were not made of leather and were not covered in a woman's blood.

A low grumble came from Ed's side of the room as he rolled over and managed a sleep muddled, "Mmmbwa? What… what's going on? Whys the light on?" He muttered as he rubbed his eye, rolling over with the stuffed penguin under one arm.

"Sorry, brother," Al whispered, hoping Ed didn't see how pale he looked, or hear the tremor in his voice as he switched the lamp off.

"You okay?" Ed asked, a little more coherent.

"Yes, just… dreams, you know?"

Ed gave him a long even look. Then without saying anything he stood up, grabbing his pillow, his blanket and the stuffed penguin. "Scoot over."

Al made his brother some space on the tiny bed.

"Get some sleep," Ed said, still groggy, as he curled up under Al's blanket. He gave his brother's short hair a few reassuring strokes before settling down.

Al smiled and didn't question him. He was grateful that his brother knew what bothered him without having to say it aloud.

Eventually he could tell Ed fell asleep by his breathing. Eventually he did too, and this time he slept through the night.