A/N: So this is my take on how drunk/dehydrated/rapidly-sobering Puck might behave. This one's super fluffy; like ridiculously so. Probably my favorite chapter to write thus far. Rated T for language.

Also, sorry about the missed update last week. I'm thinking I'm going to go every other week for a little bit.

Chapter 12

"So I need to talk to you about something important," Puck announced loudly upon returning upstairs, the bedroom door closing behind him with a click.

Finn was already curled up on his cot, snug in his new Cincinnati Bengals pants with the blanket pulled up over his head. He wasn't quite sure what to say. How was he supposed to address Puck after all that they'd done? They'd totally crossed that proverbial 'invisible line' and were now well beyond a hop and a skip into gay territory. He wondered vaguely if it might just be best to pretend to be asleep.

"Cut the crap, Hudson, I know you're awake," said Puck resolutely, kicking Finn's mattress as he padded by.

For a moment, Finn considered keeping up the charade in what he felt was a really convincing imitation of sleep. But then he felt Puck crouch down beside him and he couldn't stop his mouth from twitching into a traitorous smile.

"Ha! I knew it! You're such a bad liar!" said Puck emphatically, punching Finn on the arm.

"…Fine. You got me," Finn grumbled, pushing himself into a sitting position. Puck perched on his bed, his eyes glinting in the low light from the streetlamps outside. "What is it you need to talk to me about?"

Puck clasped his hands together and took a deep breath as if summoning the courage to broach a very difficult subject. "Okay. I wasn't going to say anything at first because I didn't want to sound like a whiney little bitch. But in light of you jizzing your pants all over my bedroom floor, I feel like I deserve at least one free pass."

"Hey, fuck off, dude!" said Finn, feeling his cheeks heat up. "You promised you weren't gonna talk about that!"

"Yeah, well, I won't. Starting now," said Puck, waving him off. "Do you want to hear what I got to say or not?"

"Fine, yes, get on with it," said Finn flatly, rolling his eyes.

Puck took another deep breath, getting serious again. Finn watched him expectantly. "I'm gonna be honest with you here, dude. I'm still pretty freaked out about the demon."

Silence followed that statement and Finn blinked. "You're…what?"

"I'm still pretty freaked out about the demon!" Puck repeated, louder this time, as if the issue had been with the volume of his voice and not the content of the sentence.

"Okay…" Finn said slowly, wondering briefly if Puck was just fucking with him. But he'd never seen his friend look so sincere in his life.

"I know it sounds crazy, but I almost couldn't rub one out because I kept thinking…'What if the demon appears and tears my dick off?'" He wrung his hands in his lap, his voice a half whine. His eyes were so wide and pleading as they searched Finn's for a sign of understanding. Finn had to be very careful not to let his face twitch into a laugh, which it desperately wanted to do.

"Oh…I, uh, wow," said Finn, unable to stop the smirk from pulling at the corners of his mouth. He spoke carefully. "So what you're saying is…I should hide the baseball bat again in case you try and perform another impromptu exorcism on your desk lamp?"

"Fuck you, dude, I'm being serious!" said Puck indignantly, crossing his arms over his chest. When he spoke again, his voice was quieter. "…I keep imagining the demon stabbing me to death after he rips my dick off." Finn had to put a hand over his mouth to keep from laughing.

He just couldn't help himself. "The real question is…does he stab you with your dick that he's just ripped off, or something else entirely?"

"Really, asshole? I'm pouring out my soul to you over here and you're laughing at me?" Puck's hand lashed out, grabbing his school issued copy of To Kill a Mockingbird off his desk. He whipped it hard at Finn.

"Hey! Ow! Okay, watch it!" he said with a chuckle, throwing his arm up in defense. The book bounced off his elbow and landed on the floor with a thump.

"And this after I was so nice to you!" Puck said, shaking his head disappointedly. "I was so cool about it when you popped the weasel in your pants earlier, and now you're making fun of me because I'm scared of the demon?" He crossed frowned sullenly. "How is that fair? You know, you're almost making me reconsider my promise not to talk about your little 'Christmas in July' episode back there!"

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry!" said Finn hastily, putting his hands up in a sign of surrender.

But Puck wasn't done. He drew his feet up on the bed, wrapping his arms around his knees. He fixed Finn with one of his trademark glares that could've made the geeks at school shit their pants. But because he was rapidly sobering and so obviously over-tired, the effect was just funny and adorable rather than scary. Finn wasn't quite sure if he wanted to tease him or shake him or hug him—or maybe a combination of all three—so he settled with staying quiet and waiting.

"You said—" Puck began accusingly, but the rest of his sentence trailed off in a mumble.

"What did I say?" Finn asked indulgently, leaning in to hear him better.

His eyes flashed as he picked his head up. "You said it was okay to be scared. That you weren't going to make fun of me. Remember? Last night? You said that I'm not just any asshole, I'm your asshole. That means you gotta be nice to me…"

Finn bit his lip, vaguely recalling saying something along those lines while they did laundry in the basement. He sighed. Maybe Puck was only acting this vulnerable and childish because of the residual alcohol in his bloodstream, but that whole demon thing really was freaking him out. If nothing else, he needed Finn to be a good friend right now.

"You're right, I did say that," Finn said, using the most placating voice he could muster.

"So why're you making fun of me if you promised you wouldn't?" Puck asked, looking all dejected as he hugged himself, his chin resting on his knee. "I know I'm an asshole and all, but not to you. So when I promised I wouldn't tell anyone about you going all 'Mt. Vesuvius' in your boxers, I meant it! Did you mean it when you said you weren't gonna make fun of me?"

"Yes! I meant it!" said Finn quickly, starting to feel a little frustrated. "And I'm sorry! I won't make fun of you anymore. Jesus Christ, dude"

"You sure?"

"Yes!"

"…Positive?"

"Yes! Oh my god, dude, what do I gotta do to show you?" Finn asked, running his hand through his hair in exasperation.

"…Well, for starters, you could come up here with me…" said Puck, his tone flat and his eyes averted as he hit the back of his hand on the spot next to him. Finn's eyebrows shot up in surprise but Puck's whole demeanor made his heart clench. How could he deny such a vulnerable request?

"You mean like this?" he asked quietly, getting up and moving to sit beside Puck, slinging an arm around his shoulders.

Puck hesitated a second before slumping over, letting his head fall on Finn's chest. Finn felt him nod his acquiescence against him. Tentatively, he pressed his palm flat on Puck's back, and he could almost feel the tension evaporating off him. Feeling a little bolder, he absently rubbed a few circles on his friend's shoulder blade, which he seemed to enjoy, so he carried on like that for a few quiet minutes.

"See dude? It's alright, nothing to be scared of," Finn said. He gave his buddy a little shake, trying to buck him up. "No demons are gonna rip your dick off and stab you with it. Not on my watch."

"You promise?" Puck mumbled into Finn's shirt.

"Of course I promise," said Finn, biting back a snort of laughter.

Puck didn't open his eyes; he just stayed there, sagged against Finn's chest, letting the warmth of his friend's hands calm him.

Finn hesitated before voicing his next question. "So what else can I do besides sitting here with you?"

Puck shifted, looking up at him with big eyes, his cheek pressed into Finn's shoulder. "Um…you could tell me you're gonna sleep up here with me? And not on the floor?"

Finn smiled, suddenly feeling all weak, like his heart was going to explode in his chest. It was a strange and powerful feeling.

He chuckled, shaking his head in amusement. "You're cute, dude," he said.

"Well? Are you gonna?" Puck asked quickly.

The look on his face was so damn adorable that Finn almost couldn't handle it. Smirking, he dropped a heavy hand on Puck's mohawk. "So cute."

"Answer the question, Finn!" said Puck, almost belligerently, as he tried halfheartedly to squirm out from under Finn's hand.

"Obviously I'm gonna stay with you. How else am I gonna stop the demons from getting you, huh?" He ruffled up Puck's hair before pulling the blanket back and pushing him under it.

A week ago, Finn would have expected nothing short of an ass kicking if he ever got this touchy-feely with Puck. Yet here he was now, flat on his back in a twin bed with a face full of mohawk, his best buddy plastered securely to his side. His heart fluttered as he felt Puck's fingers clutch into his shirt. He could almost feel the desperation pour through his friend's hand and into his own skin. Finn's heart filled with a strange sense of pride; it just felt so nice to be needed. Here was Big Bad Puck, whose vile reputation was known throughout Lima, curled into his side like a giant baby kitten, his hand clinging to Finn's shirt like a life line. And all because of a stupid demon! It was really quite a spectacle. But for now Finn just basked in the feeling of pride he got from comforting his best friend. He pressed his cheek against Puck's raspy buzz cut, smiling when he felt him nuzzle back.

Heart aching, Finn raised a hand and laid it gently across Puck's cheek, feeling his eyelashes flutter shut against his fingers. He lightly traced his thumb across Puck's eyebrow, down the side of his face and along his jaw. All the while, his buddy cuddled closer, his fingers relaxing from Finn's shirt as they began tracing patterns into his chest. Finn could see the little smile playing on Puck's lips he ran his hand against the grain of his buzz cut. It gave him an immense sense of satisfaction knowing he had put it there.

Self-confidence soaring, Finn trailed his fingers slowly down Puck's side, from his shoulder down to his hip bone and back up again. He noted with amusement that Puck shivered whenever his fingers danced around the curve where his neck met his shoulder. It seemed he liked being touched there almost as much as he enjoyed being kissed there…Finn carried on like that for a little while, running his hand up and down the length of his friend's back, circling his thumb over his hip bone every so often. And whenever he did it just right, Puck's breath would hitch and his hips would roll forward. He made a little game of it, lying there on his back in the dark with his best buddy glued to his side. How often could he make Puck twitch using just his fingertips alone? Turns out, he was getting pretty good at it, or at least he assumed he was seeing as Puck was making no attempt to hide his excitement from pressing sharply into Finn's thigh.

"What're you doing to me, man?" Puck asked gruffly as he squirmed around in Finn's arms.

"Nothing," said Finn innocently, running his fingertips feather-light up his buddy's back. "Just playing with you…warding off the demons…"

"Is that what you're doing?" said Puck as his hips bucked of their own accord. "'Cause I'd argue you were trying to turn me on."

"Why?" teased Finn, grinning. "Is it working?" He ran a finger down Puck's spine, making his back arch.

"You know damn well it's working!"

"You can't handle it, can you?"

"A lot better that you could!" Puck said contentiously, shifting to put a little space between himself and Finn. He was breathing heavily, his cheeks flushed. "You'll notice I haven't jizzed myself yet!"

"Hey," said Finn, pulling back to point a finger at him warningly. "If I can't make fun of you for the demon thing, then you can't make fun of me for…for the other thing."

Puck scowled. "Oh come on! But your thing is funny."

"Fine," said Finn, throwing the blanket back and making to get up. "I guess you want me to go sleep on the cot—"

"Hey! Alright, alright, I'm sorry." One of his hands shot out, wrapping itself tightly around Finn's wrist.

"Nope, sorry dude, you had your chance," Finn said, continuing to pull away. "I'm gonna go sleep on the floor where no one will make fun of me. Good night." He only meant to tease him a little, but Puck looked uncharacteristically scared.

"No! Come on, I'm sorry! Don't—don't leave me!"

The look of panic in his eyes made Finn feel a little guilty. He quickly settled back down, wrapping his arms around Puck again. "Hey, relax buddy, I'm not going anywhere! I was just fucking with you."

Puck glared at him. He was tense in Finn's arms, his hands clenched into fists on his T-shirt. Finn petted soothingly along his head and shoulders, trying to make him calm down.

"See?" he said, continuing his ministrations until Puck settled his head back down against his chest. "Only kidding. Just fucking with you. I'm staying right here…"

"You're a dick," said Puck in a muffled voice, his face pressed into Finn's shoulder. "But I totally knew you were kidding …"

"Yeah, yeah, sure you did, tough guy," Finn said, shifting so Puck was flush against his side one again with his mohawked head tucked neatly under his chin. Where he belongs, Finn's conscience said strangely. "Just don't make fun of me and we won't have a problem."

"Okay, Finn," he said sleepily, nuzzling his forehead into Finn's neck until he was comfortable.

Finn smirked and resumed running his hand up and down the smooth skin of Puck's back and side. He found that with only slightly more pressure, he could easily make things go from arousing to relaxing. Soon he felt Puck's breathing level out and could feel his hand clenching and unclenching sleepily in the material of his T-shirt. He was growing heavier and heavier in Finn's arms.

There was no greater feeling in the world, Finn mused, than the way his heart melted as Puck drifted off in his arms. He'd give up a thousand blowjobs if it meant he could continue experiencing this feeling. It was funny. So many of his friends were so hung up on the idea of having sex, yet he was willing to bet money that this level of intimacy felt a million times better than sex ever could. He supposed he'd have to try it one day to know for sure, but in the meantime, he'd continue to enjoy the cuddling.

"…I don't wanna do that," Puck said suddenly, jerking Finn out of his thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"I don't wanna go ice skating with Lauren Zizes. She'll break the ice…" His words were slurred and thick with sleep as he snuggled closer to Finn, his buzz cut tickling his neck.

"Just give her a chance, dude, she might surprise you," Finn coaxed him, stifling a laugh.

"But I wanna go with you instead…"

"Just go with her," said Finn, patting his back. "We'll go some other time."

"Promise…?"

"Just go to sleep, dude," he chuckled, letting his lips graze across his friend's forehead as Puck drifted off into what promised to be a very bizarre dream.