Thank you to DracoWinchester for being an absolutely wonderful beta reader!
I felt Malfoy hesitate, and I started to pull away in mortification. Before I could even get far enough to separate us, he wrapped his hand in my hair and drew me back to him. His lips molded to mine, and just as I was thinking this was an oddly tender kiss coming from Malfoy, he pushed me up against the wall, pinning me with his body. He tugged my hair, tilting my head back and giving him easier access to my neck; I thought distractedly that he was certainly going to leave a mark. I ran my nails down his back and felt a shiver go through him, and I smiled into the kiss. With that, it became a contest of who could get the other to react. He won when his hand slipped under the band of my skirt to grab my ass and I gasped audibly. He let out a low chuckle, and I opened my eyes to meet his. They had gone black so that his pupils were indistinguishable. Incomprehensible thoughts about dark angels crossed my mind again, and I yanked him back down to my lips.
The reconnected kiss became even rougher and more desperate, as he intertwined his fingers with mine to press my arms to the wall above my head. I could feel his growing hardness against my stomach, and I shifted into him, smiling again when he growled in frustration. He pushed his hips into me so that every inch of me was caught between him and the wall. I wanted to touch him, and it was only then that I realized I had wanted it for a long time. I tried to pull my hands free, but he just shook his head with a smirk and returned his mouth to my ear, my collarbone, my chest. This one snog had me more flustered than anything I had ever done with my previous boyfriends, but somehow I wasn't surprised. I found myself belatedly thinking that Pansy Parkinson was a lucky bitch.
A rush of footsteps suddenly came into earshot further down the corridor, and we looked at each other with some degree of alarm, me more so than Malfoy. For him, this would just be another conquest. For me, I would have some serious explaining to do. Keeping his hold on one of my hands, he yanked me behind a tapestry into an alcove I hadn't noticed. We were pressed tightly together, and I could still feel his growth pressing into my ass. Smirking, I wiggled back into him and heard his sharp intake of breath. I turned toward him and pressed a finger to my lips, gesturing to the corridor where people were returning from the match. He grabbed my chin and pulled me toward him for another kiss, and the next few minutes of waiting for students to get back to their dorms was well spent.
Once the crowd cleared, Malfoy and I stepped back out into the corridor. He looked about as disheveled as I felt, so I made a mental note to stop by a bathroom before going into the common room. We walked in silence back through the halls, glancing at each other out of the corners of our eyes. I made a concentrated effort not to start over thinking what had just happened — or think about it at all. We reached the place where we had to branch off, and Malfoy looked me up and down with that blazing look in his eye once again.
"Mousseau….I'm pretty damn glad you followed me today," he said, and sauntered off towards the Slytherin dungeons. On a whim, I called after him.
"Oh, hey, Malfoy, by the way — those times we ran into each other? I hadn't been off snogging." I gave him a half smile and started the climb to Gryffindor Tower. I don't know what made me admit that to him. I also don't know what possessed me to snog him like that. As I got closer to the common room, I felt my panic rising. I darted into a bathroom and suppressed a yelp at my reflection. My curls were wild and messy, and several marks spotted my neck. My eyes were too bright and my cheeks were too flushed. Even Ron, oblivious as he was to most things, would be able to tell what I'd been doing. I cast a few glamour charms over myself, mostly to hide the marks. With the problem of my appearance taken care of, new ones popped into my mind.
This was the boy who had spent the last eight months making my life hell. He had Death Eater connections, and he knew more about my family than he was willing to tell me. I had every reason in the world not to trust him. He played games with me, hexed me, and regularly made me feel worthless. Why the fuck had I just snogged him while my friends thought I was in the hospital wing? I closed my eyes to splash cold water on my face, but I saw him leaning over me, pressing into me, and I wrenched them back open. This was going to be an issue.
I was spared thinking about what had happened for about a day. I had entered the common room to a roar of sound, celebrating the Gryffindor win of the Cup. Ron was the hero of the game, and kept repeating key points with pride. I felt guilty that I had missed them, but I quickly realized Harry and Hermione were having the same reaction. Where had they been?
Sitting out by the lake on Sunday, they finally explained to Ron and I about Grawp, Hagrid's half brother. My mouth dropped open in shock, and Ron whirled around to face the Forbidden Forest as though he expected to see the giant coming towards us, causing the rest of us to laugh.
We spent the rest of the day lounging around outside, talking, laughing, and speculating about Umbridge, OWLs, and Grawp. We tried to enjoy the day as much as possible, knowing that with one week until testing began, our lives were about to be hell. As we all bid each other goodnight and headed to our separate dorms, I finally worked up the courage to talk to Hermione about the previous day.
She listened carefully to my concerns and fears, and spent a few moments in silence after I was done. She gave me a half smile and sighed.
"Well, as to the snogging, I can't say much, as I've only snogged Viktor Krum. And my situation was much simpler than yours. We weren't enemies, we were friends."
I couldn't help wondering at Hermione's reaction if she knew how complicated it truly was. I still hadn't told anyone about my connection to the Death Eaters, and therefore to Malfoy. The trio knew from hearing some of Malfoy's snide comments that he knew my family, but that wasn't uncommon in the small wizarding community, so they hadn't questioned it further. Hermione promised to think about it more, but I knew no amount of advice would fix what I was feeling. Whether I chose to continue seeing Malfoy or to ignore him completely, there was going to be a part of me that was very unhappy with the decision.
Before I knew it, OWLs were almost over. Weeks had passed in a blur of studying and slight panic, and I had been thankful for the distraction. Malfoy and I smiled when we passed one another in the corridors, but that was all the contact we had since the day we snogged. I tried to concentrate on the only two exams we had left and not the fact that I would soon have free time to spend with Malfoy, if that's what I wanted to do. Our tentative truce was unfamiliar, but I much preferred smiles to getting hexed.
All we had left the next day was our practical Astronomy exam and our History exam the day after that. I wasn't overly concerned about either of them. I had loved the planets and stars since I was a small child, and had known almost all of the course material without any studying. History was the opposite; I knew it was a lost cause no matter what. The next night as we climbed to the Astronomy tower, I felt happier than I had in weeks. The stars were bright and the air was cool for June. The first hour of the exam went perfectly, and I had just finished when I noticed light spilling out onto the grounds. Harry and I made eye contact and he shrugged, turning back to his telescope. I checked back over my chart, making slight adjustments mostly to take up time.
Then I heard the barking of a dog, and peered out toward Hagrid's cabin. There were several people suddenly illuminated by the light from it, and minutes later there was a roar that could have only come from Hagrid himself. Harry and I looked at each other once again, disturbed. His eyes were as wide as mine felt, and he jumped when the examiner reminded us of the time. I saw Hermione jump back to her chart as well, but I continued staring at the cabin. A moment later there was an incredibly loud noise followed by a panicked scene: the people were trying to Stun Hagrid. I barely noticed Hermione cry out, or the examiner admonish her, as the fight was quickly escalating. Soon, I saw Professor McGonagall rushing across the grounds, only to be struck by multiple Stunning Spells herself when she reached the scene. She didn't get up, and I felt sick to my stomach. Hagrid began fighting in earnest, yelling at them for being cowards, before fleeing into the dark.
The exam ended, and we headed back to our common room. Everyone was awake and talking about what had happened. I kept replaying the glowing body of Professor McGonagall over and over in my mind, sickened by its similarities to my brother's. A shudder ran through me, and I felt an arm go around my shoulder. Seamus was looking at me with concern.
"Alright there, Ellie?"
I just nodded and mumbled some excuse about being worried for Hagrid. He squeezed my shoulder reassuringly, and left his arm around me. I was surprised to find I didn't mind. The last time I looked at the clock it had been around two, but soon Hermione was shaking me awake and the clock said almost four. I grinned in apology at Seamus, who I had fell asleep on, but he just smiled back and headed to his dorm. Hermione and I drifted up the stairs, not talking, but I was sure we were thinking the same thing. What the hell was happening at Hogwarts?
The next day's History examination went awfully, as I predicted. Not as much because of my own poor study habits, but because of my concern for Harry. Towards the end, he collapsed onto the floor, screaming and writhing in pain, and everyone panicked as he was escorted from the Hall. Hermione, Ron, and I looked at each other in shock, and the same idea seemed to come to each of us at the same time: Harry had just had another vision. I couldn't write any more after that, and the last few minutes stretched endlessly. The moment the examiner called time, the three of us sprinted into the corridor and began our search for Harry. Hermione spotted him coming down the stairs and called to him. He sprinted down the last few steps and dragged us into an empty classroom, confirming our suspicions.
"Voldemort's got Sirius."
We erupted with various questions, mostly why and where and how could he possibly be sure. He explained about the Department of Mysteries, and as he sat down on a desk, I could tell he was coming apart.
"How're we going to get there?"
I realized with a jolt he wanted to go after Sirius. As Hermione and Ron argued with him, I thought about my brother. If I had been given the opportunity to go after him and help him in any way I could, I would have done so. I just thinking how impressed I was that Harry was keeping his composure in this situation when he let out a yell, causing Hermione to step back. A shouting match ensued, but I just sat there, not wanting to take sides. I couldn't agree with Harry for any logical reason, only emotional ones, and that would raise questions. After a few tense minutes, the door opened and Ginny and Luna walked in.
Harry snapped at Ginny over something I hadn't heard, and she retorted something about his tone of voice. He was about to reply when Hermione cut in. "They can help! We need to get you into Umbridge's office so you can try to contact Sirius."
He looked ready to object when she cut him off. "Please be reasonable. We need to at least check."
He nodded, and planning began. I was to go with Luna and Ginny to keep people from going towards Umbridge's office while Ron distracted Umbridge herself. Hermione was going with Harry to the office. We agreed to meet back shortly, and without another word Harry sprinted to his dorm to get his Invisibility cloak. He returned minutes later, out of breath, and we all took our designated places. Luna and I went to the other end of the corridor from Ginny and told people to take a detour. It couldn't have been five minutes later when Malfoy came striding towards us. I gave Luna a nod, letting her know I'd take care of him. I walked to him, trying to head him off before he came down the hall. I greeted him with a smile, wanting to play nice.
"Malfoy. You can't go that way, someone's set off Garrotting Gas and —"
Suddenly, he raised his wand and I felt my entire body go rigid. Before I could fall to the floor, he caught me and dragged me into an alcove, propping me up behind a dragon-shaped vase. Fury and confusion swept through my body. I tried to scream before I remembered I couldn't. Luna was preoccupied trying to keep people moving and hadn't noticed a thing.
"Mousseau, listen. Not that you have much of a choice. I'm doing this to help you, believe it or not. Umbridge knows Harry is in her office, she's coming. You don't want to be caught by her right now, she isn't exactly following the rules anymore. She won't hesitate to hurt you."
Horror filled me, not for myself, but for my friends who were about to be caught. I struggled uselessly against the curse and tried to convey as much hatred as possible through just my eyes. Who the hell did he think he was keeping me out of the fight that was sure to come? And why did he think he had the right to decide what was best for me? If he knew me at all, he should have known I would want to be with my friends. He was staring at me intently, as though he knew what I was thinking. And in a motion that gave me twisted deja vu, he leaned down and kissed my forehead.
"I'm sorry."