A thank you once again to my wonderful Beta, DracoWinchester! Hope you enjoy.

I carried Eleanor into the Room of Requirement. It looked a hell of a lot different than it usually did when I was in here. The cathedral sized room piled with mountains of junk had been replaced by a small room with a bed and some aspirin already sitting on the nightstand. I saw an empty glass as well and knew it was for me to fill with the water she'd undoubtedly need. Her head rolled to the side and she caught sight of the bed. Her eyes widened and she immediately started thrashing in my arms, almost causing me to drop her.

"NO PUT ME DOWN DON'T TOUCH ME STOP ―"

I placed her gently on the bed and stepped back, giving her space. I tried to control the anger that washed through me. What the fuck had Finnegan done to her? She had flopped back on the bed, an arm flung over her face. I could see pink beginning to spread across her cheeks and knew she was embarrassed, even through her drunkenness. I wanted to comfort her, but I didn't want to scare her again.

I settled for handing her the aspirin and whispered "aguamenti" before handing her the now full glass. She took them both and downed the water, so I refilled it for her again. It was clear she had never been drunk before. What in Merlin's name had she been doing?

She leaned back against the headboard, eyes closed, and I let myself look at her like I hadn't done in so long. Chestnut curls had come loose from the bun she had twisted them in, framing a perfectly heart shaped face. Her cheeks were slightly pinker than normal from blushing and now matched her lips.

I let myself focus on those for a few moments longer, remembering how they felt on my skin. My trousers tightened slightly, and I made myself instead look at the blood that was on her chin. That effectively made me angry instead of aroused. I pointed my wand at her, saying "tergeo" and making the blood disappear. That was better. Dark eyelashes fanned out across her cheek, and I could see dark circles below them.

Why hadn't she been sleeping? Her eyelids fluttered briefly, showing crystal blue eyes that were slightly bloodshot from the alcohol. I noticed now that her flowy dress matched the blue almost exactly. Had she done that on purpose?

I thought of the brief moment I had seen her at the party tonight. She had been laughing, face glowing and making her dimples pop. The dress had made her look otherworldly as it rippled with every movement she made. Even with the heels she had been wearing, she was still tiny, shorter than even Finnegan and much shorter than me. I frowned at her bare feet. Where had her shoes gone? I shook my head, slightly angry that I had just spent the past five minutes thinking like a lovesick wanker. Eleanor was bloody sexy, and every bloke in the school thought so ― but of course she was oblivious. Maybe that was part of the reason I wanted her so badly. Seeing her spread out on the bed in front of me made my thoughts go in a distracting direction, but I pushed them away. It was my father who preferred his women unconscious. I was just beginning to think she had fallen asleep and was preparing to leave when she sat up. "Malfoy?"

I turned.

"Will you...will you stay with me?"

Her voice was quiet and still slurred, and I knew I couldn't say no. Fuck. I cautiously sat on the end of the bed, making sure I didn't touch her. I had seen enough drunk people to know that once they had a fear or worry in their mind, it was hard to get rid of. Hell, I had been drunk enough to know that. And, as her next question showed, I knew it was almost impossible to not be honest.

"Why do you hate me?"

My stomach sunk as those blue eyes found me and pinned me down. Shit. I couldn't have this conversation with her. The day we had snogged in that empty classroom after fighting seemed so long ago. I had been cruel that day, hoping she would just go away and save herself. I unconsciously flexed my left arm, knowing that all I had to do was show her the Mark there and she would never speak to me again. But I was fucking selfish and couldn't do it. I didn't want her to hate me, but she would. I knew what the Death Eaters had taken from her, I had known forever. I knew more about her family than she would guess, and that was dangerous. She would hate me.

She was watching me steadily, waiting on my answer. I sighed, running a hand through my hair. She wasn't going to give up on this easily. "Why do you have blood on you?"

She dropped her gaze immediately and started fiddling with the hem of her dress. A smirk broke over my face before I could help it. We were both too curious and too bloody stubborn for our own good. An idea suddenly came to me, and I considered it carefully. Surely she wouldn't remember this conversation later. She was more drunk than I had seen someone in a long time. I would remember it, though, so I had the perfect opportunity to get answers without really giving any.

"Alright, Mousseau, here's the deal. You answer one, I answer one."

She looked up at the mischievous tone in my voice. My stomach swooped when she smirked back, and I felt oddly pleased that I was rubbing off on her. Distractedly, I wondered why I still called her by her surname. Probably because she called me by mine. I made a mental note for one of my questions to be why she did that.

"So answer me. Why do you hate me?"

I should have seen that coming again. "I don't. I just don't think you should be around me."

She opened her mouth to speak again, but I cut her off. "My turn. What happened with Finnegan tonight?"

"We got drunk along with most of Gryffindor. He made a move, I pushed him off, he didn't get the message."

Her words made it seem like not a big deal, but I could tell by the way she refused to look at me and the way her voice shook that she was upset by it. She looked at me, trying to focus through her haze of drunkenness. "Why shouldn't I be around you?"

I had been distracted by thinking of ways to cause Finnegan pain and had to stop to choose my words carefully. "I'm not a good person, Mousseau. I haven't been in awhile. You're a wonderful person, and you don't need to be infected by me."

She blinked at my words, and I asked my next question before she could think about them too deeply. "I know you're more upset about Finnegan than you're letting on. What happened that made you have blood on you and no shoes?"

Her eyebrows drew together and she eyed me suspiciously. Even while drunk she knew I was asking my questions in a way that fit several into one. I smirked at her. This is why you don't play games with a Slytherin. She took a shaky breath, and I felt momentarily guilty for making her talk about it. But I needed some sort of ammunition for when I hexed Finnegan into oblivion.

"He kissed me, which is when I pushed him off. But then we were up against the wall, and his hand was under my dress, so I bit his lip as hard as I could. It was his blood," she said, and pride washed through me.

Good girl, I thought.

"He jumped back after that, so I ran out of the common room. I took off my heels so I could run faster. I could hear him following me. I don't know if it was to apologize or to..." she trailed off.

I put my hand on her leg without thinking, but she didn't flinch. She just looked at me, ice blue meeting my gray.

"What makes you not a good person?"

Fuck. We stared at each other in silence while I tried to figure out what to say. "I'm making bad decisions. I don't want to make them, but I don't have a choice. It's life or death. Do you really care about Finnegan?"

She was still trying to make her hazed brain process my answer, I knew, but she answered immediately. "Yes, I do."

I tried not to show my disappointment, arranging my face into the position that I had learned from a young age made people falter. She didn't, however, and continued. "But only as a friend. I've always known he's had feelings for me, so maybe it wasn't fair of me to stay close to him. I needed someone, though, and you weren't around."

She blushed as she finished, and I knew she hadn't meant to say the last part. I felt inexplicably guilty. If I hadn't been pushing her away, would she be drunk and afraid right now? Would she have been harassed by someone she considered a friend?

"Do you care about me?"

That was the question I had dreaded her asking. Refusing to look at her, I said yes.

"Do you want to be with me?"

I didn't even notice that she had skipped me asking a question. My heart was pounding. I wasn't used to having touchy feely moments like this. "Yes, I do."

Her entire face lit up at that, and I hated myself. More than I hated myself for my repeated failures on the Dark Lord's mission, more than I hated myself for putting my family at risk. Those things weren't my fault. This was. I was being selfish, so fucking selfish that I was hurting myself because I knew I would end up hurting her too.

But then her expression changed. "That doesn't matter though, does it? You're going to push me away again."

Tears welled up in her eyes, and I hated myself again and again. I crawled up next to her and put my arms around her, pulling her to my chest. "I'm sorry," I whispered. I was so fucking pathetic. That's all I could say. I couldn't offer her any comfort because I knew she was right. We both knew. I heard her breathing slow and could tell she was tired. I was surprised she was even awake after all this time. Just as I thought she had fallen asleep, she stirred. "One more question."

I waited.

"What's your first name?"

A grin broke over my face. "Draco, love. Now go to sleep."

She snuggled into my side and something inside me burned and swelled. This girl was going to be the death of me. "Goodnight, Draco."

I kissed the top of her head, feeling oddly sad as though she had said goodbye instead of goodnight. "'Night, Eleanor."

I didn't sleep. I just watched her and wondered what good thing I had done to allow me to have this chance to be with her, even if it was just for one night. I wondered what time it was, so a clock appeared on the wall and said five in the morning. I slowly detached myself from her side, wishing I could stay. The train would be coming in a few hours and everyone would be waking up even sooner. It wouldn't do to be seen walking out of here. I already would need a good excuse for Crabbe and Goyle why I hadn't returned to the dorm. I decided I would just tell them part of the truth: I had been in here.

But I would tell them I was working on the Dark Lord's mission, because that always frightened them enough that they stopped questioning me.

I slipped out of the door, taking one last look at Eleanor. She was now curled into a ball instead of curled around me as she had been. Walking down the corridor, I called a house elf and instructed them to make sure she woke up in time for breakfast. I knew the Room would take care of anything else she needed. I entered the nearly empty Great Hall and sat down at the Slytherin table alone. I thought about the previous night and knew I was in trouble. Eleanor may not remember it, but I would never forget. It had been the first time I slept with a girl and didn't shag, the first time I had expressed my feelings for a girl and meant it, and the first time I wished to Merlin that I could be with someone in such a pure way. I took a long drink of coffee and went back downstairs to pack. I didn't know how I could return to my Manor and not see her for weeks.

I knew with a sinking feeling that it would only be preparation for the months to come. I had to protect Eleanor, and that meant I could never speak to her again.