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Chapter Sixteen

James felt a slump as January began and they all had to return to lessons, he'd gotten used to having an empty common room and no one to share it with but Lily, Sirius and Remus. He would miss spending nights alone with Lily, drinking hot chocolate and making her laugh.

He was almost jealous that he had to share her with the rest of the school.

He didn't feel it more than the afternoon of the second day of term when he popped into the library to get a book for Defence Against the Dark Arts and found her huddled around a table with Damocles Belby. They were sitting too close together in James' opinion, but they appeared to be pouring over sheaths of parchment.

He walked over to them quietly; just before he reached them Lily pointed at a page in a textbook they had open on the table. "I think you'll need more Aconite root than you've specified" Lily was saying.

"It's very toxic" Damocles pointed out, "And I hear it tastes foul."

"Who care about the taste as long as it works?" Lily laughed.

"What are you two up to?" James asked, effectively announcing his presence.

Lily jumped and looked around, "Oh, hello James" she said, looking suddenly embarrassed as her cheeks pinked, "I'm just helping Damocles with some Potions ingredients."

"Really?" James asked, turning to regard Damocles suspiciously. "What would Slughorn's Seventh year star pupil need help with?"

"Are you saying that Evans here isn't smart enough to keep up with me?" Damocles asked, raising his eyebrows as he looked up at James. "Or that she isn't worthy to be spending time with a pureblood?"

"James would never say that!" Lily said sharply, her eyes narrowed in Damocles' direction.

"You hope not, you mean" Damocles laughed. "Clear off would you, Potter?" he said, turning back to his parchment, "Lily and I have work to do."

"Evans?" James said, turning to Lily.

She smiled weakly at him, "I'll catch up with you later" she said, before she too turned to face the table again.

James huffed but didn't try to persuade her, just stormed out of the library without even looking for the book he needed.

He had been under the impression that Lily liked Benjy Fenwick. Clearly he had been wrong.

Then thinking about it, this made so much more sense. The reasons why Lily had been so upset about not being understood by the pureblood community and why Sirius and Remus had talked about her marrying a Pureblood suddenly fit together like the pieces of a jigsaw.

Damocles Belby wasn't a Voldermort supporter, and as far as James could tell he didn't believe in blood purity either. That didn't mean being around him would be safe for Lily, most Slytherin's wouldn't take kindly to her being so close to one of their own.

James remembered only too clearly the Hufflepuff girl's distain at the thought of Lily and Sirius being together.

It might not be fair, but it was the way things were done. Pureblood wizards were considered to be first class citizens and muggleborns were third class. James' and his parents didn't believe in such things, but that didn't mean he hadn't been raised around it. There were very few pureblood wizards who didn't see themselves as above muggleborns, and James had spent plenty of evenings gritting his teeth at dinner while he listened to other people's prejudice.

Of course they were wrong, how anyone could look at Lily Evans and think she wasn't one of the greatest witches there ever was, he certainly didn't know.

He only hoped Belby felt the same.

Of course he should be happy, happy that Lily had found someone who could make her so happy.

Wasn't that what he had always wanted?

He should be happy that he and Lily were finally on good terms. That was something else he had always wanted. So what if he'd thought Lily sneaking glances at him suddenly meant there was something more between them? Did it really matter that he'd taken her wearing his necklace as a sign that she might have feelings for him?

What did all that really matter as long as Lily was happy?

He could convince himself of happiness, as long as her knew that she was. He wouldn't be selfish and childish and try to force her to be with him just because it was what he wanted.

She deserved to be happy.

Through his pondering he hadn't realised where his feet had been taking him, and suddenly he found himself in the castle grounds with no real idea of how he'd gotten there.

The bitter cold still lingered and the snow crunched under his feet as he moved around to the courtyard. It was cold and the middle of the day, James was thankful to have some time alone to think.

Sharing a room with the people he did rarely gave him time to breathe, let alone think.

But he didn't seem to be getting his wish today either.

As he rounded the corner into the courtyard he found two girls huddled together on one of the stone benches, they wore thick cloaks and bright yellow scarves. One had her arm around the other as though in comfort.

James would have turned around and left them in private if the ground crunching under his feet hadn't drawn their attention to him.

The girl with her arm around the other turned to look at him with sharp grey eyes, and James recognised her immediately as the girl who had accosted him outside of Gladrags during his date.

"What are you doing here?" She demanded.

"I'm sorry" James stuttered, stumbling as he took a step back. "I didn't mean to disturb you."

At the sound of his voice the other girl looked up, and he saw it was Daisy. As if his day could get any worse.

"Well you should be sorry" Gemma shouted, standing up and abandoning Daisy on the bench to point an accusing finger at him. "Have you any idea what you've done to her?"

James looked around to see Daisy had hidden her face in her hands, but it was obvious she had been crying."I- Daisy if I've done something to hurt you then I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to."

She finally looked at him then, and despite her tear stained face and messy hair scraped up into a bun on top of her head James again noted how beautiful she was. It was often times like this that he wished his vision wasn't so clouded by Lily Evans. No matter how beautiful any girl might be, she would never be as beautiful as Lily in James' eyes.

"Then why do you continue to pick a lowly mudblood over her?" Gemma about spat.

James felt the anger surge through him as he looked back at Gemma, "Never use that word in front of me" he warned her.

"Why? You might as well hear what everyone else is calling your filthy little girlfriend! "

"She's not my girlfriend!" James burst out, sparing Gemma one last glare before turning his attention back to Daisy. "I really am sorry if I hurt you, you're a brilliant girl and I'm sure you'll make someone really happy one day."

Before she could reply he turned and left, thinking how this day really couldn't get any worse