Disclaimer: Still don't own anything, still wish I did.

Chapter Twenty-Three

James hadn't thought it was possible to feel bad after just finishing Quidditch game, especially a game he'd won. Even if he wasn't having a particularly good day, the euphoria was usually contagious. But today, he didn't think it was possible to feel worse. He had only come down to dinner because Remus had insisted, but he wasn't eating and he could barely look at anyone else at the table.

He'd only managed to get a few hours sleep the night before, after sitting up and telling the other Marauders everything that had happened between him and Lily Evans over the past month.

Sirius had acted outraged that he hadn't been told earlier, but soon was insisting that he had known all along and would be having words with Lily about her behaviour.

Remus hadn't been surprised, but he was sad that between the two of them they couldn't figure out a way to work things out.

Peter hadn't said anything throughout the entire time James had been speaking, but once he'd finished the story, told him that he was far better than Benjy Fenwick and if Lily couldn't see that, then she was the idiot.

James was grateful to them all, but he hadn't exactly been heartened when he made his way down to the Quidditch pitch that morning.

He'd seen Lily sat at the other end of the table with Marlene at breakfast, but she hadn't once glanced in his direction and she didn't come over to wish him or Sirius luck before they left. Sirius hadn't mentioned her name, but he did glance in her direction as they were leaving the Hall.

As a result James felt terrible from the moment he mounted his broom, and didn't think he'd ever played worse. They still managed to win, thanks to Gwenog Jones scoring pretty much all of the goals and his seeker pulling out a spectacular catch just at the right time.

But James really needed to sort out his head before the next game, because he really couldn't afford to lose Gryffindor the cup.

Maybe Lily already hated him, he really didn't want the rest of his house to hate him too.

Although Sirius had insisted several times that Lily didn't hate him whenever he voiced these opinions, he had stopped in front of where she was sat with Mary at dinner that evening to speak to her about it. James had stood beside him silently, not really knowing what to do with himself. He had been forced to come to dinner in the first, the last thing he wanted was to get in the middle of a disagreement between Sirius and Lily.

They were both stubborn as old mules.

"Didn't feel like wishing us luck this morning then, Evans?" Sirius said loudly as they reached the point of the table where the girl's were sitting.

"Leave it out, Black" Lily sighed, keeping her green eyes fixed on him.

"Are we only friends when it's convenient?" He sneered.

"That's out of order" Marlene said, turning to glare at him.

"Me out of order?" Sirius sounded outraged, "We've been there for her this entire time, and she can't even wish us good luck before a lousy Quidditch game?"

"There's no need to talk about me like I'm not here!" Lily burst out, standing up and slamming her hands against the table.

"Sirius, just leave it" James muttered.

"Don't act like you're any better James Potter!" Lily lashed out, "He's only saying all this because of you!"

"I'm literally just standing here" James said.

"And Sirius hasn't been avoiding me all day because of things you've said to him" Lily said sarcastically.

"You know what Lil, not everything is about you" he said, then walked off before he could say something else he'd regret.

He huffed as he sat down next to Remus, not even bothering to see if Sirius had followed.

"Having a bad day?" Remus asked as he sat down.

"Is it that obvious?" James asked moodily.

"Cheer up Prongs" Peter said, scooping pie into his mouth. "You beat Ravenclaw today."

Sirius came and sat at his other side, "And Melody Jones is heading your way."

"What?" James whipped around just as Melody appeared at his other side.

"Hey James" she grinned.

He groaned internally as he turned back to face his empty plate. He was having enough trouble with one girl as it was, he really didn't need another adding to his problems.

"What's up Melody?" he asked as politely as he could manage.

"Just following up on my dare" Melody said, slipping into the seat next to him. "I owe you a kiss."

"I think Huntington is more deserving of it" James said, turning to smile at her. "After getting beat, I'm sure he needs all the cheering up he can get."

Melody flicked her hair over her shoulder, "I've already told you James, I'm not interesting in Huntington."

James ran his hands through his own hair, "Like I've been trying to say Melody, I'm just not available right now."

"It's Evans, isn't it?" Melody said.

"Don't be stupid" James said.

"Please James, the entire school can see you're not over her" Melody stood up and turned to look him in the eye. "Just so you know, I'll be around for when you realise she just isn't interested."

Melody turned and sauntered back to the Ravenclaw table.

"She has a point, Prongs" Peter said, "There are other girls than Lily Evans."

The three if them stared at him for a second before Sirius snorted and said, "Don't be thick, Wormtail."

"Let's have an excursion tonight" James suggested.

"It isn't a full moon" Remus pointed out.

"So?" James shrugged, "Let's just get out to the castle and get into some trouble."

"Yes Prongs!" Sirius grinned, "Now you're talking."

It had been a long time since he and the Marauders had done anything fun together. The darkness that was seeping around the castle seemed to have effected them more than they were willing to admit, and their plan to try and bring a little bit of happiness into this overwhelming darkness just didn't seem to be working.

James felt exhausted just with the effort of it all.

Sometimes it felt as though the entire school was against him, including people that should be on his side.

He knew the others felt it too. Sirius had family problems, not to mention a younger brother with possible ties to the wrong side. Remus was always exhausted thanks to his monthly excursions, but recently he'd been looking even more worse for ware. Peter was the only one who didn't seem effected by it all, and James has to wonder what his secret was.

Just making it through Potions without hexing a Slytherin these days was difficult.

So it was refreshing to go out into the grounds with his three best friends and just pretend that none of it was happening. He felt better than he had all day as the four of them entered the Great Hall just past curfew.

"You need to make up with Lily, Prongs" Sirius said as he shook his hair out and looked even more like a dog than he had just minutes earlier. "The world feels off kilter somehow, with you not speaking to her."

"I'm not really sure what to say to her anymore" James shrugged, "I can't force her to like me."

"Of course she likes you" Remus rolled his eyes.

"She sure looked jealous when you were talking to Melody earlier" Peter said.

James sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, "Lily acts like she's carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders" he said awkwardly, "sometimes I wish she'd just lighten up."

"Well you can't really blame her" Remus reasoned, "She did just lose her entire family."

"Plus she spends most of her time at this school hated for something she can't even control" Sirius put in.

"And if she did actually tell people she was your girlfriend, the girls who don't hate her now definitely would" Peter finished.

"Gee guys, thanks for making me feel like even more of a jerk" James sighed.

"She'll get over it" Sirius nodded knowingly, "Evans might be stubborn but she can't ignore her feelings for you forever."

James was about to turn and ask Sirius what he knew about Lily's feelings when suddenly Mary came skidding into the hallway, her eyes were wide and her hair was haphazard around her face. She almost ran into Remus but he caught her under the arms, "Woah, Mary" he said softly, "Where's the fire?"

"Oh thank God!" she sighed, her shoulders visibly relaxing when she saw them. "You have to come with me!"

"You're such a drama queen McDonald" Sirius rolled his eyes, "What, did Marlene break a nail?"

"No!" Mary burst out, "You're such an asshole, Black!"

"Come on now Mary, that's just rude" James sighed.

"So unlike you" Remus shook his head.

"You don't understand!" Mary practically yelled, leaning against the wall as though she needed to brace herself.

"Because you're not making any sense" Sirius pointed out.

"Look, she was in the library okay?" Mary tried again, eyes wide as though she was trying to convey how serious this point was. "She lost track of time with Potions, or she wouldn't have been there so late."

"Mary, take a deep breath and tell us what you're talking about" Remus said slowly.

"It was those people" she whispered, shaking slightly as though she was terrified. "Those people in the masks."

She had turned back around when Sirius grabbed a hold of her arm, "Who was is Mary?" he demanded.

She looked straight into James eyes with such fear the hair prickled on the back on his neck. "It's Lily" she whispered, her eyes wide with fear.

James entire body went cold as though he'd suddenly been doused in freezing water.

At Mary's words something inside him seemed to snap, and both he and Sirius were running towards the Gryffindor Common Room as though a fire was at their heels.

His mind was suddenly completely blank of everything but Lily. Both of fear because of what might have happened to her, but also of guilt because of all of the things he'd said to her just before it had.

He and Sirius burst through the Portrait Hole with the others close behind them and James was the first to spot Lily.

She was sat on a sofa by the fire between Marlene McKinnon and Dorcas Medowes, both appeared to be trying to comfort her.

Lily wasn't looking at either of them but her green eyes were staring into the fire as though it might provide some answers. Her legs were drawn up to her chest with her arms wrapped around them, her face was chalk white and she had a deep gash down her cheek.

"Lily" Sirius said, pushing past James to kneel in front of her. "What happened?"

She turned to look at him but she didn't answer, as James got closer he could see that she was visibly shaking despite the warmth of the fire.

"She was just leaving the library when two Slytherin boys attacked her" Marlene explained, reaching out to touch Lily's arm before thinking better of it and pulling her hand away. "She said they were wearing those masks and she didn't see their faces."

"Hey" Sirius said softly, reaching out to push her chin up and force her to look into his eyes. "Lil, what did they do to you?"

She opened her mouth before closing it again.

"They didn't…" James took a deep breath and rubbed the back of his neck, "Evans, tell me they didn't use an unforgivable?"

Lily took a deep, shaky breath and looked up at him with those big green eyes, "Cruciatus" she said so quietly he almost didn't hear her.

Sirius swore loudly and stood up, moving away from her as though he was afraid of what he might do if he remained close.

Anger like James had never felt before surged through his body, he wanted to find whoever had done this and make them pay. Make them hurt ten times more than they had hurt Lily.

Lily Evans, the kindest and most compassionate person he had ever met, did not deserve this.

"How did no one hear you?" Remus asked quietly, his eyes wide with shock.

Lily cleared her throat, "They used the Silenco charm" she said, her voice gaining a little strength despite the tremors still shaking her body, "I don't know what might have happened if Dorcas hadn't come around the corner."

"I'd been studying late in the Library" Dorcas explained, "I'm so glad I was there."

"Did you get a look at them?" Sirius demanded, he was curling and uncurling his hands into fists and his eyes were dark with fury.

"Sirius they were wearing masks" Lily said softly.

"It wasn't Reg was it?" Sirius asked, swallowing.

Regulus Black was Sirius' younger brother, he had been sorted into Slytherin when he was a first year but the brothers had always been close. That had been up until Sirius had been disowned by his family last year, and their parents had told Regulus he had to choose between his family and his elder brother. Though he had never been overly callous about it, it had been obvious which side Regulus had chosen.

Sirius had always been disappointed, but no more so than when he found Regulus hanging around with known supporters of Voldermort, which seemed to be happening more and more frequently. He had often voiced concerns for his brother, being trapped in that house with parents obsessed with their bloody purity, practically considering themselves to be royalty just because they had the surname Black. Now Sirius was worried about what would become of Regulus once he left school, if he would follow the path of so many Slytherin's before him.

If he would follow Voldermort, and the brothers would end up on opposite sides of the war that was coming.

"Don't be silly, Sirius" Lily said quietly, looking down at her hands. "Regulus is only a fourth year."

"An unforgivable curse takes really powerful magic" Remus added.

"Takes a lot of hate too" Peter added.

"I think we all know who did this" James said quietly, "We're just too afraid to say it."

"James" Remus said quietly, "Severus would never-"

"We have no idea what he would do!" James burst out, "None of us actually know what he's capable of!"

Lily stood up, her shoulder still shaking as she crossed the room to place her hands on James' arms and smile up at him, "I know you're determined to hate him, and I don't really blame you" she said softly, "But I promise you, Severus would never do this."

"You know who would though, don't you" James said softly, reaching out to touch her hair.

She glanced down at the carpet but didn't say anything.

"Mulicber and Avery" Mary said quietly.

Everyone had known that they had been the two behind Mary's attack at the end of last year. That had been when the muggleborn attacks had first started, and Mary had been the first person older than a third year who had been targeted. They had worn masks back then and no one had ever been able to prove what had happened.

If they were willing to attack Lily Evans then they must have been getting seriously bold, she was one of the most gifted witches in the entire year.

"I'll wring their scrawny necks" Sirius practically growled, making a move towards the Portrait Hole.

"No!" Lily cried, reaching out to grab his arm before he could leave, "Sirius, it's not worth it!"

"They deserve it!"

"You'll get expelled!"

He turned around to face her, his black eyes burning, "Getting expelled for you Evans, would be my genuine pleasure."

"I don't want you to go" she said, reaching out to take hold of his hand. Her other hand was still grasped around James' arm and she gave Sirius a firm look before she turned to him, "I feel safe when you're here" she told them.

Sirius' shoulders deflated and he let out a long sigh, but he reached out to pull Lily into a ferocious hug. James didn't really know what to do after that statement, so he walked over and wrapped his arms around her too.

Thinking that maybe, just holding her like this he could keep her safe.