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Austin had ended up staying over that night. He spent the night in the guest room, aka Trish's old room. Three weeks ago she had moved out and moved in with her dream guy, who I had yet to meet. She wouldn't even tell me his name in fear of it being jinxed. He went by 'D'. 'Oh Ally, D is amazing, he knows me so well' she would gloat all day. Rubbing in my face that I had yet to find a guy to understand me and all my dark, twisty ways. Often my mind would hope that person would be Austin...in some ways it was him but the whole romance part wasn't there.
It had been a week since we made up, called a truce, and we had started meeting in the morning for our breakfast, no so date, dates. But, other than that once a day rendezvous we didn't talk or see each other. I couldn't tell if that was on purpose or just because we were both busy. Today was Saturday, Trish and the two high school employees had taken today's shifts, leaving me with nothing to do. I hoped Austin would call or text asking to hang out but he hadn't and sure it was still early in the morning but I needed to see him. I decided to go to the coffee shop, surely he would show up like every other day.
"Ally, you have been here for three hours and have only gotten one cup of coffee. What's up?" Jo asked, as she wiped the table next to me.
"I was hoping Austin would come in, he's been kinda distant lately."
"What do you mean? Every morning you two sit in here and have long, in depth, meaningful conversations. That doesn't seem so distant to me."
"Yeah, we do but that's just it. That's the only time we talk..ever."
Jo just nodded her head at the window and I looked in the direction to see a familiar mop of blonde hair. It was Austin, he was in his uniform. He walked in and went straight to the counter, I tried to catch his eye but it didn't seem to work. After he ordered his coffee he stood by the pickup counter on his phone, texting away. I wondered who he was texting so quickly, then my phone buzzed.
Austin: At our spot, missed our coffee date this morning.
I smiled at my phone before responding, he was so oblivious.
Me: Our spot? I like that, I would come visit but I'm staring at this really dumb and ugly firefighter right now ;)
His phone buzzed before I watched him glance over the text. After, his face scrunched in confusion then he looked around. When our eyes finally met, his brown orbs lit up and I felt my heart start to race. He grabbed his coffee before walking over to my table by the window, our table by the window.
"Is this seat taken, miss?" He asked, ever so politely.
"Actually, I'm waiting on someone." I smiled, playing along.
"Oh really? What's this someone like?" He smirked.
I sighed dramatically and leaned my chin on my hand. "Well, he is just so amazing. He saves lives for a living and he has these big brown eyes. But," I sat up and put on a straight face, "he has this habit of never calling or texting and it worries me, so much so that I waited here for three hours hoping he would come in like every morning."
His smile faded slightly as he took his seat, the game was definitely over. "Als, I'm sorry. I was working and then we had the funeral for the little boy."
I felt my heart hurt as he talked about the boy. "I totally forgot that was today, how was it?"
"It was fine, well actually it wasn't. There isn't anything fine about a little boy in a tiny coffin, only he wasn't. They cremated him, and it wasn't a big ordeal. There wasn't a burial or luncheon after. Just a simple mass, then everyone went home. I thought by going I would get closure, but I didn't."
I reached across the table to place my hand over his. "I'm sorry, Austin."
"It's fine, really it is. Want to get some lunch? My treat, for worrying you." He smiled and I couldn't help but smile back as I nodded.
We walked a few blocks down to a little bistro on the corner. It had a nice outdoor patio section where we sat. The late spring sun was beating down more than usual today so I put my sunglasses over my eyes.
"Why do I feel underdressed?" I asked, as I took in his class A uniform. Sure, I was wearing a skirt but I definitely didn't look as good as him.
"I don't know, because you look beautiful." He smiled knowingly as I gave him a look.
"Flattery won't get you out of paying for lunch" I joked as I picked up my menu.
"Fair enough, but I wasn't flattering you. I was simply stating a fact." He smiled again and this time I blushed before looking back at my menu.
"So, what else can I steal you from today?" He asked as we walked down the sidewalk after lunch, he had removed his coat and had rolled up his sleeves.
"Nothing." I stated.
"Man, I really wanted to spend-"
"Because I don't have anything for you to steal me from." I smiled at him and he smiled back before taking my hand and spinning me around, causing a fit of giggles to escape me.
"That was the best thing I've heard all week" He said as my laughter died down. "So, what should we do? It's a beautiful day!"
"Do you want to go get changed first? You must be dying in that suit." I said, looking at his suit but secretly checking out his fit physique.
"Yes, and you can stop checking me out now. I already know I'm hot, perk of the job" He smirked and I blushed again. "Gosh, I love when you do that." He said, nonchalantly. Almost so much so that I wouldn't hear it.
"What?"
"I love when you blush. It's cute" He laughed and I blushed again, against my will of course.
"Well, stop loving it because I hate it." I pouted.
"Pouting won't work, it's incredibly adorable on you." He laughed again and I huffed.
"Come on." I said, walking at a faster pace due to my embarrassment.
We walked in a comfortable silence the rest of the way. When we arrived at his apartment building I planned on waiting downstairs for him but Austin had other ideas. Hence why I was now sitting in his living room. I looked around, trying not to snoop but failing. He had many pictures of him and his family and friends from what I could gather. On one wall there was a shelf of trophies and medals. Most were sports but some of the medals were medals of honor. I started to look at them but was soon interrupted.
"Ahh, you've found the 'wall of honor'" He spread his hands at the words.
"What are these for?" I asked, as he stood behind me.
I felt my stomach flip at how close he was, usually I was cool around him but lately everytime he got close my temperature shot through the roof and whenever we would touch or brush elbows I would get shocks.
"Well, this one" He reached over my shoulder to point at the navy and gold one. "This one is a medal of valor. It basically means bravery." He looked down at me and I felt my breathing hitch.
"What is it given for?" I asked, avoiding the slight stutter that my voice made.
"The Medal of Valor is awarded to a firefighter for performance above and beyond the call of duty at extreme personal risk and having been instrumental in rescuing and saving another person's life... or so the piece of paper says." He smiled.
"And this one." I pointed to the next one. "Gallantry?"
"Kind of the same thing." He shrugged.
"And these?" I asked, pointing to the last three that all looked alike.
"Firefighter of the year."
"Three times in a row? Impressive, you must be one hell of a firefighter." I smiled back at him.
"Yep, and I'm going for a fourth." He laughed, stepping away.
Instantly my body missed his warmth and the feeling of him being close. I turned around to see he was in jeans and a flannel, both pressed and clean. I walked over and sat on his couch as he went into the kitchen.
"So, what do you want to do?" I asked.
"Oh, I have a couple things in mind."
"Care to share?"
"Nope."
He walked back in and grabbed my hand, pulling me up off the couch. This time though he pulled me towards the door. I took the hint and started walking down the steps as he locked up. He quickly caught up to me before matching my pace.
"So, if you won't tell me what we are doing, can I at least know if I'm dressed appropriately?"
"You are." He stated simply.
"Is it in walking distance?"
"It is."
"Is it outside or inside?"
"Hmm...both"
I stopped with the questions and started to try to conclude in my head what we were in fact doing. As I thought I noticed the route we were taking, we were heading towards the park.
"The park!" I yelled, jumping a little.
"Yes, we are walking through the park to get to our destination. I thought we might as well take the scenic route."
I frowned as I still had yet to figure it out, and I hated surprises. Deciding to focus on something else I noticed how close Austin and I were walking. It was so close that sometimes our hands would brush, it could give me the feeling of wanting to hold his hand. But, that was something couples do and we were just friends.
"The market? You took me to the market?" I said as we arrived out front, grocery shopping was something couples did together...not friends.
"Yup, we have to get ingredients." Austin said, grabbing a basket and walking in.
"For what?" I asked, catching up to him.
"Well, I'm going to teach you my signature dinner and you're gonna teach me how to bake the perfect cupcake." He smiled.
"Seriously? Austin I spend all day baking cupcakes, do you think I want to do it in my spare time as well?"
"Most people, no, but you Ally, love to bake which means you would do it all the time if you could."
He had a point, a good point. "Touché"
"So you go and grab everything you need and I'll get what I need then we can meet back here"
With that he took off, of course we weren't grocery shopping together. Austin and I were friends and that was all. Just friends, but why did part of me ache for something more? Who was I kidding, I was falling for Austin and no space or time or lying to myself would change that.
"Did you get everything you needed?" Austin asked as we met outside.
"Mhmm."
"Why didn't you wait for me, I was gonna pay for your stuff. This was my idea after all."
I just shrugged, buying some time to think of a reason, but failing and letting the shrug be my answer.
"I'll let this one slide, but next time I'm paying."
"Why do you always insist on paying? I'm a working individual, my business isn't doing bad..I have money to pay for my own things. I actually have a lot more than you think, not to brag."
"Look at that, I love seeing old couples together." He said, motioning to the older couple sitting on a bench feeding the ducks.
"And that, you always change the subject when you don't want to answer the question" I shot at him, trying not to sound too defensive.
He shrugged. "I don't know why Als, I guess that's just how I was raised."
I nodded, dropping the subject. "I have to stop at home."
"For what?" Austin asked, his voice faltering slightly.
"Calm down, I'm not gonna ditch you. I just have to grab a few things. I'll meet you back your place?"
He nodded before we parted ways. I made a beeline for the bakery instead, if I was gonna impress Austin I needed some secret ingredients and my lucky apron. I walked in and felt comforted by the ding of the doorbell and the familiar smell of the ovens.
"Ally, it's your day off. I refuse to let you work." Trish immediately yelled, blocking my path into the back.
"I'm not here to work, I just need to grab a few things." I pushed past her.
"For what?" She asked, following me to the back.
"I'm teaching Austin how to bake." I shrugged, grabbing all the items and placing them in a tote bag.
"Ohh lala. Date night?"
"No, we are just friends."
"Yeah and Dez didn't propose last night." She scoffed.
"What?" I halted all movements and turned to her.
She blushed and held out her hand. "He proposed! It was simply amazing, he is simply," she sighed, giving a lovestruck face, "amazing."
"Wait did you say Dez?" I asked, knowing it couldn't be a common name in this small town.
"Yeah, I know I said I wasn't going to tell you but how can I not now, there's a wedding to plan and-"
"Wait, Dez..red hair, tall, lanky, kinda odd?"
Her face scrunched up in confusion. "Yeah...how-"
"Firefighter?"
"Mhmm….oh my god you met him when you visited Austin!" She screamed. "Well, then you know how amazing he is."
I nodded my head before catching a glimpse at the clock. "I want to hear all about it, just...later. I'm really late already."
"Go, tell lover boy I said hi."
"He is NOT my lover boy!" I yelled over my shoulder as I ran out the door.
I quickly navigated my way to Austin's apartment before ringing the bell.
"Hello?" His voice came over the speaker.
"Baker, reporting for duty."
He laughed before buzzing me in. "Took you long enough, I started to get the idea you weren't gonna show up."
"Yeah, well I received some weird news…" I trailed off as we walked into the kitchen.
"Is that so?"
"Yes" I said, pulling out my apron and putting it on. "Dez and Trish are engaged."
"They were dating?" Austin asked, coming over and taking the ties out of my hands.
"Yeah, apparently." I said as he tied the strings behind my back.
"There." He said, finishing up and placing my hair back behind my shoulders. "Is this what you stopped for?"
"Yeah, and some other important ingredients. It's my lucky apron, I never bake without it."
"Did..did your mom give it to you?"
"It was hers. I made sure to snag it before my dad burned everything else."
We walked over to the counter to start preparing the meal. I was chopping vegetables and Austin was marinating the meat.
"Burned?" He asked out of curiosity.
"Yeah, about a week after the funeral he took all of her things out back and lit a match. I watched from my bedroom window. It was heartbreaking but I just figured that was his way of coping. I realize now he just wanted to forget it all. When that didn't work he started to drink the memories away. He was never an aggressive drunk, just neglective. Then, one day I told him I was going to away to college and he told me he wouldn't be there when I came back. Believe it or not, he wasn't. I haven't heard from him since. My aunts tell me his is on his 4th wife now and hasn't spent a day sober since my mom died. Sorry, what was your question?"
"I don't remember, but I'm sure you answered it."
"What about you, lieutenant? Are your parents still together?"
"I remember growing up and wanting to find someone who loved me as much as my mom loves my dad. They did everything together, they were always laughing and never had a dull moment. They would fight like any other couple, but they never went to bed angry. They taught me that, that's why I had the worst time sleeping that night after our fight. After a while during those weeks my body took over and I had to sleep in order to function. But, um...yeah my parents are still together. My mom was diagnosed with lung cancer last year and ever since then my dad and her have been traveling and crossing things off her bucket list. It's a pretty cliche story but it's one of my favorites."
"That's sweet, I can understand why you're such a hopeless romantic now." I nudged him playfully.
"Not to pry, and don't feel like you have to answer but-"
"How did my mom die?" I finished for him and he nodded weakly. "We were going on our weekly Sunday brunch outing. We did it every week since I can remember, we would go get brunch then stop at this little bakery on the way home and I could choose whatever sweet treat I wanted as long as I was good that week and stayed out of trouble. Well, this particular day there was a storm forecasted to hit mid-afternoon. My dad told us to stay home, but my mom insisted on going since we had never missed one ever. So we went and all was fine, then as we were driving home-" I stopped, trying to contain myself. "Sorry, this part always gets me."
"It's fine, take your time and if it's too much you can skip it." His hand rested on my shoulder for a second but his eyes never left me, I could feel his concern.
"No, I'm fine. Um, where was I? Oh, so we were driving home and uh well like any good tragedy a truck lost control and slammed into us. It would have been head on, but she had swerved and it hit her side. I'm not sure if she did it intentionally or just out of reaction, but it saved my life. Honestly, I don't know which one I want to believe because they both don't make me feel any better. I got off with a broken arm and concussion, my mom...well you know."
"It's terrible to lose your life, but to lose your life saving another is one of the highest honors. I hold your mom with utmost respect. She is a true hero, I believe she saved your life that day. I will ever be grateful for that, because saving your life led to me meeting the most amazing, talented, strong, beautiful," he lifted my chin with his fingers as I had lowered it, "young woman I have ever met."
"Thanks." I said, wanting to look away from his gaze but failing as he was still holding my chin with his fingers.
"Were you crying?" He asked, wiping a stray tear off my face.
"No, it was from the onions" I laughed, taking this chance to pull away.
I needed to stop letting him have this effect on me. He only liked me as a friend and sadly the feeling wasn't mutual and until I could control my raging feelings I needed to keep my distance.
"So," I said, now on the other side of the counter. "After we throw the meal into the oven are we going to start dessert?"
"Well, I usually save dessert for last, bit I mean if ya wanna..." I felt my cheeks heat up, surely he didn't mean it in that way. "It was a joke Als, come down. Yeah, whatever you want to do."
"I don't know what you are talking about I didn't say anything." I said, regaining my confidence.
"Yeah, but your face is very easy to read." He said taking the cutting board of ingredients and placing them in the pan with the chicken. He added some stock and water and stuck the meat and veggies in the oven. "So, how about those cupcakes?"
"Ok, we'll need flour, eggs, sugar, butter, and vanilla to start." I said, laying out the supplies.
After the baking process started the talking died down. Mostly because I was so focused on baking the best cupcakes Austin would ever taste.
"That was amazing!" I said, sitting back after finishing my plate.
"Only the best for you" He said, smiling widely at me.
"Ha-Ha very funny, you little flatterer!" I shoved his arm
"Still wasn't flattery and I believe it is time for dessert." Austin exclaimed.
"I don't know...I don't think you really deserve on. You did spill the flour everywhere" I joked as I moved the plate of cupcakes over in front of us.
"Oh shush up and give me one" he said, reaching for the cupcake I had just brought my lips to.
"Hey! That was mine!" I pouted.
"Mmm" he groaned, "here try some"
Austin reached over and placed the last bite against my closed mouth before pulling it away and smirking.
"Als you kinda have to open your mouth to eat"
"I know but I wasn't expecting that."
"Well then here. Ready?"
I went to protest but instead he shoved the cupcake into my mouth, shushing me. I got lost in the flavor and shut my mouth to savor it more, letting out my own sound of my pure cupcake bliss. Only to discover upon opening my eyes that Austins finger what still in my mouth. I felt my cheeks heat up and I instinctively pulled away, shielding my face. After a few seconds of silence I dared to look up only to see Austin staring right at me with wide eyes. He almost looked shocked or nervous, almost.
"Sorry" I said, voice small.
He didn't speak, he just sat there staring. I was starting to worry I had ruined everything. I felt my heart start to race and my temperature rise. That's when it happened, the world stopped spinning and the room started. It was immobilizing, breath taking, it caused my stomach to do flips.
He smiled.
No, not a nice friendly smile. This smile was pure evil, I knew from the moment it spread across his face he was plotting something. I could practically see the wheels moving in his head. I began to feel my palms sweat as he stood up. The whole thing was practically happening in slow motion. He pushed his chair in and walked over to me, standing behind my chair. I didn't dare look back, I was too nervous. I was sure he could hear my heart beating out of my chest as he lowered his head next to mine.
He whispered in my ear, "I'll get you for that one Dawson, not right now. Oh, no. I'm gonna wait until you let your guard down and that, that is when...I'll get you."
I felt my heart drop to my stomach. What did he mean? Get me? I couldn't find my voice so I just nodded my head. He pulled away, brushing against my hair as he left the room with the dirty dishes. I felt my brain hurt from trying to solve this head game he was playing with me. Did this mean he liked it? Did he think I was teasing him? It was a harmless mistake, right? Yeah, just a mistake.
"Are you gonna come help or not?" He yelled from the kitchen.
I regained my composure and fixed myself before walking into the other room. I had to play this off, I couldn't him get to me..well I couldn't let him know it got to me.
"Don't you know it's rude to make the guest do the dish-"
I was halted mid-sentence as I had laid my eyes on the now..shirtless Austin. Oh, he was evil..very muscluar and toned but oh so evil. I tried not to stare but how could you not, he was perfectly sculpted like David and had muscles that I wanted to run my fingers over again and again just to feel and know all the curves and bumps of them all. I took a deep breath and looked at his face. I had to play it cool, if we were gonna play this game then I would have to win. I refused to lose to him.
Luckily he didn't say anything. He didn't have to the smirk on his face said it all. Instead this time I found my confidence and decided to challenge him.
"Ok, you wanna play this game? Lets play. But I must warn you when I win, because I know I will, you are gonna regret starting this."
"So this is a game now?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. "Ok, rules?"
"What?"
"Well, all games have rules."
"No rules. Everything and anything goes….until one of the players admit defeat."
"Fine, what are the stakes?"
"Hmm." I said, rubbing my chin.
"Sex, then there's no losers." He said and I felt my eyes bulge out of my head.
"Um, no. It has to be something good." I said, containing my calm, cool persona.
"Oh, believe me it will be good." He smirked and I shoved him.
"You are such a typical guy, no sex. It's not really worth it if we both win."
"Geez, ok..how about who ever wins gets to hold hostage one item from the losers bedroom?"
"Odd...but sure why not. I hope you keep your valuable stuff in your room."
"Oh, believe me that's where all the magic is kept" He winked and I knew it was just part of the game, he was trying to get under my skin.
"So how will we know when it's over?"
"When the other person surrenders. Which will be you, since I'm irresistible." He motioned to his body, causing me to want to look again but I was smarter now. I looked everywhere but Austin and his amazingly hot body.
"Sure you are." I said sarcastically, walking over to put the leftovers away while he finished loading the dishwasher. "But, I'm also not a hormonal, sex-driven man. I know how to control myself."
"Oh naive little Ally, I have more control in my pinky then you do in your entire body. I work long gruesome hours, I'm used to concealing my hormonal sex-driven man desires."
"Or you're just gay." I shot back, quickly.
"I am definitely not gay." He scoffed.
We both finished our tasks and met face to face on either side of the island. He had put his flannel back on, thankfully. I let out a small sigh and yawn before smiling at him.
"Thank you for dinner. It was another real panty dropper, but I must be going as it's getting late." I said, almost sarcastically.
"Funny, one of these times it's gonna actually work. Let me walk you home."
"Oh don't worry, the creeps who usually rape innocent, beautiful young ladies like me have off tonight. I'll be fine." I smirked as I turned to walk to the living room.
I grabbed my purse off the couch, purposefully bending over slowly. I would have never done something so courageous in front of Austin but, I had to win this game. I felt my skirt rise up and knew his eyes were on me. This game probably wouldn't be so hard after all, like I said he was a man.
"I'm walking you home." He said instead of asking like the last time.
"Now, now Lieutenant. I told you I'll be-"
"Ally, there is no way in hell I'm going to let you walk home at 11:30 at night looking like that." He said. "Now come on."
I stood there shocked for a second as his words rang through my ears again. He was serious, this wasn't part of the game.
"Oh..ok." I said to no one since he had already started walking. I quickly caught up to him and we walked in silence down the street.
I shivered as the wind picked up, it always got chilly after the sun went down and I should have brought a coat.
"Here" Austin said, putting out his arm and offering a spot in between him and his jacket. "Come on, you're not gonna get sick on my watch."
"Thanks." I said, snuggling into his side. As we walked, I felt the warmth transferring from his body to mine.
"You really should get a car." He said after a few more steps of silence.
"I don't need one, but...I do have one."
"Then why don't you use it?"
"Because I like walking everywhere, it keeps me in shape and is good for my health and the environment."
"Wow, didn't know Ally Dawson had a green thumb." He chuckled.
"I mostly do it for the workout part. I mean I do own a bakery."
"Yeah, I see what you mean, you need every step you take." He joked and I hit his side. "I'm kidding, you are perfect just the way you are."
He gave me a warm smile and I couldn't tell if he was serious or not. Was this part of the game? I had changed my mind, this would not be fun. I wouldn't be able to tell when Austin was serious or when he was playing the game. It was like permanent mixed signals.
"Well, I guess this is goodnight." He said, stopping in front of my building.
"Now I feel bad that you have to walk all the way home by yourself."
"I'll be fine, I'm sure no one will jump me. It seemed pretty quiet right?"
I knew he was joking, but I still was nervous. "Are you sure? Trish's room is still vacant if you wanna just stay the night..in there of course."
"Well, I guess..if you insist."
I let out a weak laugh as I led the way up to my apartment. We were on my turf now and this game had to end as soon as possible. We walked in and Austin immediately plopped down on the couch.
"So what movie are we watching?"
"Movie?"
"Uh, yeah?"
"Um..I don't care. You pick, I'm gonna go get changed. Your gym bag is actually still in the room from last time when you stayed over. I kept meaning to give it back to you but forgot."
"Thanks." He said, jumping up and walking into Trish's old room.
I walked into mine and beelined it for the basket of clean clothes in the corner. I searched through both piles before finding the large shirt Austin had allowed me to borrow when I sat in the rain. I shed my clothes before changing into a pair of pj shorts that were shorter than my typical ones and the shirt. I ran into the bathroom and fluffed my hair before washing my face. I knew Austin hated makeup.
I walked out, turning off both lights and noticing the living room was dark also. The only light came from the Tv screen that had the movie menu for the breakfast club on it, still no sign of Austin and Trish's door was cracked with the light off. My nose picked up the smell of popcorn and I knew he was in the kitchen. I made my way over, leaning on the doorway as his back was turned towards me. I waited with an amused look on my face as he moved the popcorn from the bag to the bowl. He was in an undershirt and sweatpants, the undershirt hugged every muscle and I'm sure he was confident about that but he wouldn't be so confident when he turned around to see me...in his shirt and short shorts.
He spun around and jumped a little. "Jesus, Als you can't sneak-" He halted all movements and his jaw dropped a little. "That's my shirt."
"This?" I asked, looking down at it. "Oh, yeah it is. Sorry, it must have gotten mixed in somehow." I played dumb and he gave me a look.
"It's never looked better." He whispered in my ear as he passed me into the living room.
I felt my cheeks glow and waited until they died down to go into the room. I plopped down on the couch with the bowl of popcorn in my lap as Austin hit play on the movie. He sat down right next to me just like the last time we watched a movie. He must have sprayed cologne or something because he smelled delicious. Damn, I should have thought of that.
"Good choice of movie." I said.
"It's one the classics. Good plot, underdog gets the 'it' girl." He looked down at m,e due to the height difference that I found so appealing.
"Too bad that doesn't happen in real life." I yawned, it had been a long day and movies always put me to sleep.
"Ya know, just because we are competing that doesn't mean you have to sit a million miles away." He said, continuing to look at the screen.
"A million miles? I'm like inches away from you." I laughed.
"Yeah.." he grabbed my waist and yanked me closer, "and that's too far."
He looked down at me with this look I had never seen before. I couldn't tear my eyes from his and it seemed like he couldn't either. I knew what this was though, it was one of those moments that I would get excited about then be let down by an interruption or some other thing. Only, this time nothing interrupted it.
We continued to stare at each other for what felt like years, Austin's eyes started to go from my eyes to somewhere a little lower. I've been in this moment before and it almost always ended the same, only with Austin it was different. When I looked into his eyes I didn't see the hunger I saw in others eyes, I saw true emotion. At the same time I couldn't read them, I could never read Austin. He always surprised me.
His hand came up and cupped my cheek before stroking it gently. I felt goosebumps raise where his fingers traced my skin. I loved the feeling of his skin touching mine. His face slowly moved closer to mine and when I thought it would collide with me he turned and placed his lips next to my ear.
"I'm so gonna win."
My heart dropped to my stomach. This was all part of the game, while I had been sitting here fantasizing about Austin's lips on mine he had been plotting his next move. I was furious, from this point on there was no mercy. All bets were off and I was gonna win.
I grabbed one of the throw pillows and placed it on Austin's lap before laying my head on it. I felt him stiffen under me and couldn't help the smile on my face. I squirmed a little, pretending to get comfy but really just agitating him. I could tell his heart rate picked up because so did his breathing, it would only be a short time before he would shove me off of him and call defeat.
"Ya know, on second thought, I'm a little tired so I'm actually gonna skip the movie and-"
"Call defeat?" I asked as he went to get up and I sat up.
"No, that little stunt didn't even affect me. You aren't smart enough for me Als." He said, standing in front of me as I was kneeling on the couch at this point, looking up at him.
I bit my lip and looked up at him under my eyelashes, batting them slowly. My hands traveled to the bottom hem of my shirt and I tugged on it lightly. "Are you sure?"
He shifted on his feet. "Mhmm." His voice shook.
"So..if I do this," I reached out and pulled him closer by his wrists. "or..this," I ran my hands up his arms and onto his chest. "You don't feel affected, at all?" He shook his head and I smirked as my hands traveled down his shirt and to his abs. "What's wrong? Cat got your tongue?" I purred, knowing despite his persistent answers I was getting to him.
That's when he caught me off guard and swiftly picked me up, causing me to squeal a little. He threw me over his shoulder before walking towards my room. He dumped me onto my bed and I bounced a little, smiling as I was actually excited for what might happen.
"Stay." He commanded before walking out of the room.
I listened and continued to lay flat on my back, my hair was a mess and my shirt had ridden up slightly showing off some of my stomach. I was confident that whatever Austin saw when he walked back in he would find irresistible, I mean how could he not. I stared at the ceiling as I heard his footsteps come closer. The next thing I saw was Austin's face as he leaned over my body.
"Don't move, ok?" He asked, he sounded nervous. "Ok?" He asked again and I nodded this time as his nervousness transferred to me.
I jumped a little as I felt his hands run up my sides underneath my shirt. His hands were warm and rough but felt as amazing as I imagined. I kept my eyes trained on the ceiling still, trying to remember that I couldn't let him know I loved the feeling. He put one hand on the small of my back and I arched. He dove his face into my neck and began to pepper kisses in my sweet spot. I had to hold back a moan as he took in the scent of my hair and I took in his. I fought the urge to run my fingers through his hair and all over his body, although that might have been a good strategy.
"Tell me. Tell me no. Say stop and I'll stop." He whispered.
"I won't lose." I matched his voice level.
"Alrighty then." He said, quickly placing kisses from my neck to my collarbone down my stomach that was now exposed as he pushed the shirt up farther.
He stopped at my belly button and I was grateful for so many reasons. I took this chance to flip him over so that I was now straddling him.
"I told you not to move." He reprimanded, even though his smirk said different.
"I never did follow directions very well." I smirked also.
"But you follow recipes every day."
"I make my own recipes, just like I make my own rules."
"Touché" He laughed.
I ran my fingertips down his sides just as he did to me, only as I raised his shirt hem I didn't stop. I shed it completely off, surprising him and myself. I marveled at how chiseled he was, this time though I didn't just look. I ran my palms down his body and back up before raking my fingers through his hair. His hand found my hips and his mouth my neck. I let out a gasp as he bit it lightly, most likely not hard enough to leave a mark.
"Austin" I breathed.
"I know." He said, understanding exactly what I meant. "Damn, Als you are killing me here."
"Oh, I know" I said, as he sat up and I shifted to his lap. "Wait." I yanked back to look at him. "Is that a surrender?"
"No, just a boost of confidence since you'll be pretty upset when you lose." He smirked, starting to kiss my neck again.
I tilted my head back to give him better access, I figured I might as well enjoy it while it lasted because as soon as this game was over so was my fantasy and possibly our friendship. His moan vibrated against my skin as I ran my fingers through his hair.
Then, it dawned on me. Austin had yet to kiss me on the lips, and even though I realized that I couldn't think of a reason why. So, feeling courageous I decided to take the plunge. I yanked his face away from my neck and went to press my lips to his, only to hit his cheek and my heart sank yet again.
"I'm sorry." I said, sliding off of him since the mood was obviously toast now.
He sighed. "Don't be, you don't-"
"Ever have to apologize. Yes I know."
"Als" He started but I cut him off again.
"You don't have to apologize either. I get it, we really should be getting to sleep though." I rolled over and got underneath the comforters, waiting for him to leave.
I felt the weight of the bed shift and decided to turn away from the door and Austin, laying on my side. As I thought the coast was clear I allowed one single tear of shame fall down my cheek. Then, I felt the weight shift again and Austin's warmth hit my back. His arm wrapped around my waist and he placed his head next to mine. I couldn't find the strength to fight him on it so I just laid there.
"Ally?" He said after some time passed.
I decided not to answer as I didn't feel like talking. I just wanted to go to sleep, forget reality. This was my fantasy, I was Austins little spoon and we were sleeping in the same bed.
"I know you're awake, but don't worry you don't have speak. Just please turn around." He took a deep breath as I didn't move an inch. "Please?"
I turned over and faced him face to face literally. I was a few inches lower than him but our eyes were almost level for once. It was dark but the moonlight illuminated the room enough to where I could see his features. He looked nervous.
"I don't do this. I don't date, I don't cuddle, I don't do romance."
"But-"
"I'm not this hopeless romantic you think I am. I can't let you think that. I'm sorry, you deserve better."
"I-I" I didn't know what to say.
"I've never gone out of my way to plan anything for a girl. It's always been one night stands or casual things because of my job. I've never cooked for a girl or even had them over to my home, let alone my work. I don't know why but it's different with you. It's all different with you."
"Why are you telling me this"
"Because you don't want to get close to me. I'm just going to hurt you."
"No."
"Als" he reached up and cupped my cheek. "I care about you, I can't play this game with you anymore"
"Why wouldn't you let me kiss you"
"Als" He said knowingly.
"Austin please."
"If I had let you kiss me, I don't know what would have happened."
I looked at him confused. "Kiss me."
"Ally. You dont-"
"Kiss me. I can take whatever it is. I won't give up until you do it. Kiss me Austin."
He shook his head before rolling over. "I just can't do that to you Ally."
I let a frown cross my face as I turned over as well. I couldn't lay here in this bed with him, not after that. I got up and walked into my bathroom. After splashing some water on my face I slid down the counter until my butt hit the floor. I placed my face in my hands and let the silent tears pour out. He had basically just told me he liked me but wouldn't let himself do anything about it because I wouldn't be able to take it. He was deciding how strong I was as a person. All while he was being a coward.
"Ally?" Austin knocked on the door.
I held back a sob at the sound of his voice. He sounded upset and worried. I couldn't let him know his effect over me though.
"Ally please just come out?"
I shook my head, even though it wasn't like he could see. Why wouldn't he just kiss me? If it was bad then at least we would know sooner rather than later.
"I'm coming in." He warned, I should have locked the door.
Before he could walk in I crawled into my bathtub and sunk down, maybe he'll just leave. Of course when he walked in he came straight over and stared down at me with sad, tired eyes.
"I'm sorry I ruined everything" I said, my voice failing me and sounding broken and sad.
He let out a sigh. "When will you get it? It's not your fault and even if it was I still wouldn't make you apologize."
I didn't answer I just looked down.
"Move over" he said, going to get in next to me but I stopped him, climbing out and going back into my room.
I sat down on the edge of the bed and rubbed my eyes. "I think it would be best if we just called it a night. I've had enough rejection for one night."
"You think I want to reject you?" He shot back.
"If you didn't then why did you?"
"You wanna know why?" He asked, standing in front of me, I nodded.
He stared at me for a second before lunging down and taking my lips with his. I fell back from the intensity and he hovered over me. Our lips moved in a fiery dance and it was as amazing as I imagined if not more breath taking. He bit my lip lightly and I gasped allowing him access to my full mouth. His hands traveled all over and mine raked through his hair. My legs wrapped around his waist to pull him closer and one of his hands moved to my lower back as it arched. After we were both out of air he pulled away and we were left panting.
"That's why."
"Why is that so bad?" I asked, searching his eyes for answers.
"I told you. I don't do well with relationships."
I started to laugh and he looked at me insulted. "I'm sorry. It's just neither am I, I mean who is? All we can do is try and if it doesn't work then it wasn't meant to be. All I know is that I like you, a lot. I've never found someone who understands me like you. So if you'll try this with me then I will give you my best for yours in return."
"I don't want to hurt you." He stroked my hair, looking at me longingly.
"You won't. I trust you." I said confidently.
"Als I care about you so much"
"Please Austin. Please at least try. I know we'd be great. I can feel it."
"Fine, let's do it. Besides there's no one else I'd rather have next to me through this."
"Me either." I said, snuggling into his side.
He kissed the top of my head and settled in. I could get used to falling asleep like this. Although I still wasn't completely sure what we were I knew its was more than friends. Austin was always more than a friend to me since the beginning.
"So we still on for coffee in the morning?" He asked out of the blue, causing me to giggle.
"Wouldn't miss it for the world."
NOT EDITED! I have been super busy and just wanted to get this posted before leaving for my anniversary dinner! Hope you all enjoy! XOXOX