Chap. 17

Sorry for the long wait, I beg forgiveness! Real life gets in the way sometimes.

Eliot chopped and diced, grated and sliced, before tossing it all into the pot with the chicken stock to simmer. It smelled heavenly already. He wondered if Parker, who was currently sitting on the counter beside the pot realized the significance of being allowed in the kitchen with the moody Hitter. He was certain she did, not much escaped Parker. She was quick witted and sharp minded, just like Eliot himself.

"I've never really liked soup, but this already smells wonderful."

Nathan saw the small triumphant smile on Eliot's face before he turned back to the stove and Parker. Score one for Eliot. Actually, if the points were all tallied, the Mastermind was certain Eliot would win by a landslide. He was constantly doing and saying little things that no one noticed. And those things weren't reserved just for Parker. He couldn't count the times he'd woken after a particularly bad night to find the office and his things set to rights, coffee brewing, lights dimmed. Eliot just always seemed to know when one of them needed him to be more than the protector. Why wouldn't he let them return the favor?

"Y'all can quit hiding in the doorway and sit at the table like civilized human beings if you want."

Nate glanced behind him upon hearing Eliot's "y'all". Standing just to his left… was Hardison.

"Damn it Eliot, how did you even know we were there?"

"Nate sighs when he's in deep thought and your shower gel gave you away."

Nate slipped up beside Parker and bumped shoulders with his Thief, asking silently if there was anything he should know. With a small shake of her blonde head, she assured him that while all was not well with Eliot, he was at least on even footing for now.

"Where is everybody?"

Eliot glanced at the Hacker and grinned. Tablet in one hand, gummy frogs in the other, Hardison looked content.

"Sophie is in town, checking out a little boutique she spotted a few days ago. Allen and my da…John are out doing God knows what."

No one missed the slip of tongue that had Eliot looking bewildered. Not wanting to let the moment go, Nate was the first to respond.

"Eliot, he's your father, I really doubt "John" is a moniker he'd be comfortable with you using."

"Well, Dad is a moniker I'm not comfortable using!"

Nate sighed and sipped his lemonade while Parker and Hardison looked shocked. John Carroll was, by all accounts a great guy, who just wanted to get to know his son again. Why was Eliot so averse to having someone care about him? Out of the five of them, he was the one who needed the most care, yet he constantly pushed that care away.

"I can understand that, but I think you need to at least try to see things from his point of view. He's finally found you again after all this time. Eliot losing a child is the worst thing imaginable. It is the worst pain in the world. Now that he's found you again all John wants is to be part of your life. Let him."

"How do I know he even wants to be part of my life? What if this is some con to try to take me out?"

Nate felt his heart break a little more with Eliot's doubt.

"You left, Eliot."

Eliot carefully slide the chicken into the soup and replaced the lid, letting it simmer, before turning around. Yes, he had left, but only because he thought his father was embarrassed at the man he had become. None of them knew just how much he wanted to believe that John Carroll actually cared.

"Nate, I can't let myself do that. I can't lose him again. I can't."

The glassy sheen in Eliot's blue eyes didn't go unnoticed by the three other team members. While it was highly unusual for Eliot to show such emotion, all of them felt the matter at hand warranted it.

"What makes you think you will? Eliot he came out here for you. He spent years trying to find you."

"Why? Why would he even want to find me? I'm not the kind of son he deserves."

Hardison watched as small, quiet tears slid down Parker's face. Eliot had always made her feel like she was wanted and needed, yet he had lived most of his life believing the exact opposite of himself.

"Eliot, you're amazing. You've saved all of us from so much, even ourselves. How can you ever think for one second that you're anything but perfect?"

Without waiting for a reply, Parker wrapped her arms around her Hitter and pulled him close. Eliot was always doing this for them, but never allowing it in return.

"One day, we'll convince you of so many things. Until then, just take our word for it and let your guard down long enough to at least talk to John and Allen."

Eliot kissed her cheek and smiled. He'd never met anyone who believed in him the way Parker did. She thought him capable of anything. If she believed in him that much, maybe he could at least try to have the same faith in himself.

"Hardison, I'm going to give you a list of names and dates. I need you to find whatever you can."

"Sure man. Who am I looking for and why?"

"Me. If I'm going to let John back into my life, I guess he needs to know what he's in for."

Eliot turned off the soup and grabbed the counter, keeping himself in place.

"What you find might disturb you. If it's too much, then stop and I'll do it myself. Some of the things I've done and seen, some of the things that have been done to me, I can't even think about them now. I don't want your pity, Hardison. Don't you dare feel sorry for me."

"Can I at least feel for you?"

"Just don't tell me, if you do."

Alec squeezed his eyes shut and promised himself that he would do whatever he had to do to help Eliot.

"I'll just get Parker to hug you again."

Parker perked up at that. Filling her bowl with the delicious soup, she squealed.

"I can do that!"

Nate watched as Eliot grinned and ducked his head. For now all was right with the world.

"Can I at least feel for you?"