Chapter 20

John watched as Eliot worked with several women. If anyone was qualified to teach a self-defense class it was Eliot. His kid looked natural out in the yard, imparting his knowledge onto some of the people who needed it most. Just like with Parker, he was so patient with each of them. The whole group seemed more than comfortable with him.

"He's remarkably well adjusted considering all he's been through."

John turned toward the man who had reminded Eliot enough of him to shake him to his core. He hated that the reunion with Eliot had to be like this, but he was glad that it had taken place.

"He's always been resilient. Even as a child. Stubborn to a fault."

Allen chuckled.

"He didn't get that bullheadedness from you at all did he?"

"What do you think?"

Leaning up against the porch, Allen sighed and glanced at the group of women who had all fallen in love with Eliot the moment they met him.

"I think you gave him a foundation that was so unshakable he's spent years running from it because in his mind he can never live up to that."

"I don't understand that at all. I've never even hinted that he was anything but perfect."

"You didn't, but someone did. From what I've gathered, Eliot's mother wasn't stable enough to take care of herself much less a child. Bringing in an abusive stepfather just added fuel to the fire."

"Eliot didn't give me much time for anything before he left. When he was there he was so quiet and withdrawn, it was hard to tell what was going on with him. I just want him to know that I've got his back no matter what."

"His lone wolf act makes that hard though. I won't tell you to push him, but you're going to have to make the first move here. Despite what may show on the outside, that tough exterior ends there. Inside, I think he's still terrified of disappointing you or of not being the kind of person you wanted him to be. In his mind, he's deeply flawed and that's a weakness. He can't let himself be human. He has to be better. Especially now, with so much at stake. He's not just looking after himself anymore. He should be finishing up soon. Go talk to your son, John."

John sat on the steps and let his mind wander. He was so lost in thought he didn't see anyone until Eliot slipped beside him and quietly sat down. The kid was trembling and trying desperately to conceal that. Why would Eliot be so uncomfortable around him?

"I know we need to talk. I'm just not sure what to say. Do I apologize for running or do apologize for not doing it sooner? I don't know what you want to hear."

"I never wanted you to leave, son. What made you think I did?"

"Davis always said I was more trouble than I was worth. Then I kept hearing how hard it must be for you to have to deal with me. I just didn't want to be a burden to anyone. I thought with me gone you wouldn't have to worry so much."

"Your mother's husband Davis? Davis Bingham?"

Eliot nodded he head and John watched his dark hair fall to cover his face. His bright blue eyes were no longer visible. Taking a chance, John brushed the thick hair away and tucked it behind Eliot's ear, noting the freckle that had been there since birth.

"Eliot look at me."

"I can't."

"What do you expect to see when you look at me?"

"Nothing good."

John slid off the ledge and stood just beneath his son before staring up at his boy.

"What do you see, Eliot? Tell me!"

Eliot shook his head and jumped up, walking away.

"Is it so bad?"

"No. I just keep thinking I left for nothing."

John grabbed his son and pulled him forward, crushing him against his big chest. Eliot was all arms as he gripped the back of John's shirt and held on.

"I messed up!"

John's heart broke at the tears he heard in Eliot's voice.

"It's ok. We can fix it. I can fix it, bud."

"I'msorryI'msosorry! I didn't want to leave."

"I promise, kiddo, it's all alright. It's going to be fine."

John felt the wetness on his shirt and wrapped his long arms around Eliot even tighter. Now that he had his son back, he wasn't letting go. He wasn't letting Eliot run away again.