Chapter 3 - Running In Circles

Tony watched Alesandra's body language. Despite her attempt to make it seem as if she were perfectly fine, he knew her well enough that her mind was a tangled mess. She never expected the emotions that would consume her in falling in love with the raven-haired Asgardian prince. It broke Tony's heart seeing her so lost even though she tried to not worry him. Tony hoped the small cottage on the outskirts of Gloucester would help her. She was not far from the ocean which always helped calm her tattered emotions, had enough land to work in growing produce for herself and studio space enough to take up her art if she wished. However, Alex struggled to even let the artist work again. Every time she tried, something weighed her down.

"I brought you some fresh supplies, kiddo," Tony said much to her annoyance as she hated being called 'kiddo' when she was very much a woman a few years younger than Tony himself. "I figured you would be ready for some new sketch pads and charcoal pencils, and well, it's not like this town would exactly cater to the artist type like you."

Alex was thankful for the supplies and graciously accepted them. And they joined the last batch of sketch pads and charcoal pencils Tony brought the last time he visited. Seeing the pile of unused artist pads growing, it meant she wasn't herself. He also noticed her camera still remained packed away. This worried Stark deeply for he moved her into the little cottage on the outskirts of Gloucester for a reason - to give her space away from town for her safety and to allow her to let her creativity help her heal.

When she went to the kitchenette to grab a couple beers, he noticed a piece of paper in the trash. Being the nosy guy he was, he picked it up and read what was scrolled on it which confirmed his worst fears - she was not in a good place.

"I cannot take any more. The animal doesn't wish to survive any more as the pain hurts too much. I refuse be a target any more. No more scientists. No more being a lab rat. I will not submit to being a play thing of SHEILD and the scientists who said they would make me better. Their only care was to turn me into an even worse monster. I am too dangerous and will never be able to live in peace. You know in time they will come for me even though I know you promised to keep me safe. However, too much has gone wrong - my heart hurts too much for him - I miss him. I no longer have the strength or desire to live. Every day blends mindlessly into the next that I feel like I am walking in circles."

When Alex returned, she saw the horrified look upon Tony's face. "Um, is there something you want to tell me?" he asked trying to hold back his upset.

She put the beers down and ran over to him yanking away the piece of paper. "Since when do you feel you have a right to go through my stuff!" she yelled.

"Because I'm worried about you," he said. "I thought we had a deal - that you would call for me when you felt this low."

"I can handle it," she stated coldly.

"Really? You are handling it fine, I can see," Tony replied. He spun on his heel and picked up one of her sketch pads flipping the blank pages in front of her. "Look here, this is pretty incredible work." He did this with several of the pads. Then, carefully choosing another, he went through it. "Hum, there's lots of scribbling and nothing that even remotely looks like your previous work."

Alesandra knew he was right. Depression had consumed her in ways she didn't expect. And although her inner animal would have otherwise protected her from such emotions, her human side no longer couldn't. She had been hurt so profoundly that nothing mattered. Survival was supposed to be easy no thanks to all the beasts that ran rampant in her heart and through her DNA. Despite the military's efforts to remove the woman and leave behind the animal, it was the woman - the emotional, caring, confused woman - who remained in control right now. A man - a stranger from another world - managed to tame the beast, and the military for whom should have been there to protect her, used her in unimaginable ways.

Alesandra felt the hot tears streaming down her flushed cheeks. She felt cold and could not ignore the heaviness in her chest and had to sit down on the little couch. Tony saw her holding back the pain. He sat down by her side and put his arm around her shoulder. Maybe this was what she needed - a good cry - something she wouldn't allow herself to do for it was a sign of weakness her previous conditioning did a good job stripping from her.

"I am so sorry this happened to you," Tony said softly while trying to reassure her. "I'm sorry he's not even coming back to make this right, either."

She missed her dark-haired prince despite what he had done to her. Knowing he was dead made it even worse for her. Alex usually was the one who walked away, like she did with Tony years ago - before he met the love of his life. It would be really easy if she could have the animal side of her take control and put him out of her mind. However, it just wasn't happening. Alex needed her inner animal to forget about the love she shared with the otherworldly prince in order to survive. Taking up simple living put her to work during the warm summer months toiling in her vegetable garden and fishing at the dock. Caring for herself came instinctively as she could forage from the woods while growing her own, and the house was nearly self-sufficient being off the grid. Winter was harder although Tony would be sure to tend to her needs. It would give her time to focus on her art again. That is, if she could see fit to focus on it instead of looking over her shoulder. As part of his demands, Alex was to be left alone.

Tony didn't want to leave her but she needed time to sort things out on her own. He trusted she wouldn't do anything desperate without him knowing it. Although she tried to smile, her heart hurt terribly and perhaps the many sleepless nights were catching up. Too many nightmares, depression in having lost the love of her life, and fearing the dangers that left her looking over her shoulder constantly were becoming too much to handle. She fought the beast and struggled to find the light, but despite it all, her broken heart was the worst of all to handle.

Tangier was so beautiful at night. Bilal loved his homeland and remained quiet as he watched over his charges. Eve knew what was to happen - there was no point in getting upset and instead decided to just embrace it and carry on until she couldn't any longer. That's what made her pairing with Adam so special because in many ways they were polar opposites in personality. Eve had a special gift in being able to cope with many of life's tragedies. Her long history allowed her to. Her animal instincts to survive drove her on because her immortal life she took as a gift. For Adam, immortality was a curse for he didn't have Eve's strength of mind. In time, disease would take her as it took Kit. To Adam, this would be hell to stand by and watch it happen and feel helpless while Eve fully intended to enjoy every night she had left to her.

After the first few hours since their course in life changed for what would be life ending for Eve, Adam's emotions ran from intense anger to deep melancholy. His mind ran in circles. He knew he had to be strong for her but then again maybe this was the excuse he needed to complete his self-imposed mission in ending his life. Once Eve was ready to end her time, perhaps he could do the same for the idea of living without her was just too painful to bear. How would he survive in a world that feared what it didn't understand?

However, he knew as he had experienced before, that Eve would want to kick his backside for the rest of eternity if he dared express his wanting to end his life. She had balled him out before for such dark thoughts as it pissed her off that he couldn't see their extremely long life as a special gift. And she knew even then that there would be a time when it would indeed end. And again, she had to remind him that they were immortal - but not eternal.

Eve woke up, stretched, and found Adam knocked out asleep - finally. Rising, she headed outside for a breath of fresh air. She now had to face living life knowing it would soon end. Eve was wise and was not going to let the idea of dying bring her down. When that would happen was completely unknown. Could be days. Weeks. Months. Perhaps she would survive a few more years. Despite her wisdom and enthusiasm to enjoy whatever time she had left, one recurring thought raged in her mind. What would happen to Adam? His isolation from society troubled her. His hatred with the zombies worried her most. She knew he could not stay with Bilal in Tangier. He needed to learn to reach out and find humans he could trust.

Her husband and lover had lost the mental grit needed to power through. Although she knew he would remain strong for her now, she sensed he was destroyed inside adding to the personal hell he lived in. In the couple hours since her becoming infected, she watched him bitch and yell and scream and then become calm and strong for her benefit.

In the past whenever he got low, she would grow angry with his fits of deep depression and his having courted suicide. It took her firm hand and a reminder of their love to snap him out of it and see the better side of all situations. She would remind him of just how selfish and petulant he was being. Life was about living - and survival - and making the best of every night they had. Perhaps things would have been very different had Adam had the nuts and bolts not to let himself get so low, for she had left her beloved Tangier to rescue him in Detroit or he might have succeeded in putting a wooden bullet through his heart. It was very unfortunate that her sister had to ruin their reborn bliss.

When Adam awoke and Eve returned, it was time to discuss where they would go from here. She decided she wanted to go back to the States. Having connections in a wide variety of places, it would be easy enough to handle their nutrition but they would need to separate for a short while to let things cool down. He balked at not staying with her, especially now when time was no longer on her side. However, Eve was sensible to how modern society worked while Adam remained reclusive to the zombies because they infuriated him too much, and now he was even angrier with them than ever before.

"You wish to take us back there. Why do we not stay here?" Adam asked with concern. "We could remain hidden in Kit's old room?"

"You of all people know we must move on. We have two bodies instead of two new fledglings," she replied. "We have no choice but to move on. I cannot have Bilal stuck having to explain anything. Besides, he already made the arrangements."

Bilal was concerned. They had not even recovered from their journey back to Tangier and now Eve wanted to cross the ocean again. "Madam Eve, I must agree with Monsieur Adam. Take some time to gain some strength before you move on. I can cancel the flight for another time when you have had time to rest."

"Even he sees the insanity of your wanting to travel again," Adam complained.

"My darling, Kit is gone. The investigation is under way. We didn't take the time to leave clues as if they were two lovers who suddenly left town," Eve said with annoyance. She laid her hand upon his cheek. "My love, we have no choice but to go. And for now, I wish to take another walk - down by the peer."

The peer was quiet. Just the boats rocking on the calm waters was all they heard. Adam sat quietly watching Eve glance happily out over the moored vessels in the harbor. After all her concerns and warnings, he wondered why she would be so bold as to want to hang around outside when she just got finished warning him of their need to leave Tangier. Perhaps the illness was acting quicker and confusing her. This place offered peaceful scenic vistas and was a favorite Eve loved to share with Kit. He wondered if Eve were now thinking it might be the last time she would see this same sight again. With time no longer on her side, she intended to enjoy every moment left to her and not dwell on her impending end. She would live life to the fullest and Adam's dark moods would not drag her down.

He was far from happy about her not facing facts and more times than not they would fall to argue on account of his melancholy. She did not care for it and let him know time and time again until it sank into his thick skull.

"Darling, I need you to stop with the brooding," Eve said with demand in her voice. "It is pointless and I will not spend the rest of my limited time having these same fucking discussions with you."

Adam lowered his head in shame. She was right and he knew it. However, he could not accept the idea of losing the one woman whom he loved more than life itself. Although they both spent decades apart and in the arms of other lovers, their connection was so deep nothing would separate them - at least until death would take her. He had to find a way to circle back - to be strong for her - and find joy in their remaining time together no matter what.

Depression. An overwhelming feeling of being lost within oneself and not finding purpose to live on. What would someone with an eternity do now when the one staple thing in life was soon to be taken away? Then, Adam felt that weird sensation again - there was someone already going through that very thing and struggling with a remedy.

Author's note: sorry for the big time delay in getting back to this.