Sara opened her eyes. She had a good and dreamless night. Lexi's sedatives worked like a charm.

"Good morning, Sara…" Talking about magic, it appeared to Sara that the last day was maybe a nightmare, as Lexi was sitting next to her, in her typical white & red dress looking at her. The illusion felt almost perfect when Lexi straightened her arm and started to scan her. She never thought she would miss this movement so much.

"Am I dead?" Said Sara and slowly moved her body into a sitting position. She felt weak.

"Not until I have something to say about it." Lexi looked at her omni-tool screen and analysed the results. Sara was not in her best. Her body was weakened by the recent stress, especially her immunity. The ship was on its way to Havarl, with a short stop at Voeld. Poisonous jungle or freezing planet, both were not suitable for Sara's body right now.

"Lexi…" Said Sara and looked at the Asari sitting beside her, doing her job like nothing ever happened between them.

"Yes?"

"Did you really mean... what you said yesterday?" Asked Sara quietly. Her heart felt exhausted, but it still had a beam of hope. Lexi raised her eyes from the screen towards Sara.

"Which part?" Asked she… Her brain was working fast… She did not like where this was going.

"That…" Sara bit her lip. She had not any right to ask Lexi this, but she just needed one answer. "That you considered that night a mistake."

Lexi sighted. What she could say to Sara? She enjoyed every piece of that experience, but it fired out the way she was afraid it would. The one who would come out of it the worst would be Sara or Peebee. Even Peebee looked this morning better than the woman sitting before her.

"Sara…." She started slowly and Sara looked away.

"No… forget about it… that's fine.. It's not important." She started to move on the bed to possibly get out... Her movement looked too confused and unsystematic.

"I don't know what I was thinking... Sorry… I'll get dressed… I…" A blue hand stopped her from doing anything else. That touch nearly made Sara cry. She felt so weak… so fucking weak now, and the multiple species depended on her arms which felt just too weak… on her bones which felt like breaking any time soon... muscles too painful to move as the brain wished….

Her whole movement froze. She was stopped in a kneeling position, her back turned to Lexi. Her long hair was freely falling on her face, covering the emotions. She was still without a shirt, only in her bra with a bandage on the wound.

Lexi was holding her wrist and looking at her. Sara looked like a wounded animal, lost, in pain… In this stage, she was sure that Sara would literally through herself into any danger not protecting herself. If Sara was to fight Archon, yes, she could win but, surely, she would die. Broken people usually felt they could not lose any more of their soul. They would always risk their lives and die. That was how heroes died. It was the worst attitude she could have, Lexi thought. This was not a mood Sara should have fought with. She would be killed and that terrified Lexi in her core. Not only as her doctor, but someone who cared for her deeply.

Lexi climbed on the bed and moved behind Sara. She let Ryder's hand go and slowly embraced this broken creature from behind. Lexi appeared higher than Sara in this position, so it looked nearly like Lexi was protecting Sara from above.

Sara kept staring in front of her, her vision clouded by the strips of her dark brown hair. Feeling Lexi behind her felt somehow distant. It was like a slow motion and took a while when her skin could recognise the cloth of the doctor's dress. Her hands were lying like wooden logs surrounding her waist. Maybe she was dying… She could not feel any warmth getting into her body from Lexi, the guilt and loneliness creating a thick super-skin on her own, making her heart feel freezing as being convicted to Voeld forever.

There was a simple word for this condition. Depression. A serious one. Lexi was aware of it, she knew it well from her experience and had experienced it herself. She realised that the yesterday drama opened Sara's barriers and let all failures and complex decisions to haunt her thoughts.

Lexi's embrace got more intimate. She kissed Sara gently on her hair. She needed to do something… Because, if not, Sara would surely stop to eat properly and let herself get killed. Something she feared was here and the way out would mean to ask for help of the whole crew. I'm going to get you out of the dark, Sara. I promise. She whispered only in her thoughts. This was the fight she was built for and needed to win. No other Victoria was on the list. Not on her list, not ever again…

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

After Lexi gave Sara more sedatives to sleep she walked out her room. She needed to act fast.

"SAM?"

I'm listening, Dr T'Perro.

"SAM.. you need to inform me every 10 minutes about Sara's mental processes. If her brain activity was raising or falling."

Of course, doctor. Sara is in a critical mental condition.

"I know, SAM" Said she and walked into the med-bay. "She is experiencing a serious depression. Try to keep her calm and asleep. I need her to be stable until I finish what I need to do. Could you help me with that SAM?"

I will, Dr T'Perro.

"Thank you, SAM. And, please. Call Peebee in my room. ASAP."

Right away, doctor.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIi

It took only few minutes when Peebee rushed into the med-bay. Her face was worried and looked around immediately as she was expecting seeing Ryder dead on one of the beds.

"What happened, doc? SAM said it was a matter of death and life…" She said with a worried tone, which calmed Lexi down. Peebee cared about Ryder too much to be really angry with her long. SAM did a good job of scaring her like this, she would not be able to see such an honest reaction.

"In a way, it is… Please, Peebee sit down." Peebee froze for a moment. Ryder was not there. This was not about her, or was it?

"Sit down… that sounds serious…" Joked she a bit although it was filled with anxiety.

"It is serious, Peebee… And it can be deadly if we don't act fast."

"Ok, doc. You are scaring a shit out of me.." Said Peebee and sat down opposing her. Doc never looked so serious before.

"Sara is deeply depressed… Yesterday was a trigger. She is blaming herself for everything. Your pain, mine… Drack's…. Surely, she thinks of Alec's death. Coma... everything now." She paused for a moment to scan Peebee's reaction. Peebee just bit her lip and looked like she wanted to punch some invisible evil.

"I need your help, Peebee. We need to do something responsible and serious. The pathfinder… No.. Sara needs us. She needs our strength." Peebee looked her in the eyes.

"What is it? Just don't tell me it's threesome. Not that you are not cute but…" It was typical of Peebee that when the situation was the most serious her jokes lose out of leash like a wild horny beast.

"If it would be that simple… but no.." Said Lexi and smiled sadly. She was willing to do anything for Ryder now, even if it meant to have that threesome. But, fortunately, that was not the case. The resolution was less enjoyable.

"We need to tell the crew everything. About our relationship with Sara, about her state… Everything.. that's the only way." Said Lexi.

"Wait.." Said Peebee and jumped out. She could not sit any longer. "Wait, doc.. that's crazy. Even for me… for you…. How this is supposed to help Ryder? You just get fired if somebody utters a word out of this ship and Sara would feel even worse." Said Peebee. Her voice sounded worried and confused.

"Because only a true circle of trust can help Sara. She needs to see that we are truly a family she believes in. And that she is not alone. That was what was keeping her going on all this time. She would die for any of us, but now she feels she is the reason and would be the reason of our corruption. If she sees that no one is willing to condemn any of us, mine our your position on this ship, and no one blames her for certain decisions she needed to make... It would help her greatly." Explained Lexi the issue to Peebee.

"But that's still a huge risk. You cannot be sure everyone would be ok with something like this. Or that they would not say anything to the Initiative…. How could you be so certain? I wasn't sure I wanted to stay here for a long time." Said Peebee. She was terrified of this option but she felt she would do it if necessary. For Sara. For her help, her smile, the small fluffy geth in her room.

"And here you are Peebee. Worrying about a woman who hurt you. I believe in you. I believe in this crew. I spent hours thinking about every member here, reading their history, trying to understand their state. I know that Sara already proved herself to them and they cared about her as a friend. She helped Vetra, Liam… She was ready any time Cora asked to go and fetch for the Asari ark… She listened to Jaal when he asked to save his people… and so much more. They don't need more proof. I'm sure." Said Lexi.

"But that still doesn't guarantee that you stay here." Said Peebee quietly.

"That's fine. If it happened, and the Initiative found out, I'm ready to face them. I'm not scare of them anymore. Fuck them." Said Lexi and Peebee smiled.

"I like this side of you doc… You should show it more often." Said Peebee and then looked at the door. "So, what are we waiting for, then?"