It was too early in the morning for a meeting. At least for some on the Tempest. They had still two days before they reached Voeld, and they wanted to use the time to get some rest. Anyway, everyone gathered in the comm room, including Suvi and Kallo; just to find two Asari waiting for them.
"Where's Ryder?" Vetra was the first one to blow up the silence. Everyone was curious and a strict look Lexi had did not foretell anything good happening.
"Not coming…" Said Peebee.
"Is this some planned rebellion against Sara?" Asked Jaal quite worried. If they tried to strip Sara of the command he really did not wanted to be part of it.
"Nope…." Peebee's lips were a thin line. Her answers were too short and too… unlike Peebee. Cora could not hold it anymore.
"What is happening? Speak you two… Is the Pathfinder hurt?" Cora crossed arms on her chest and raised her eyebrow. Lexi was the one who spoke this time.
"Yes… in a way. She is hurt… mentally." Lexi scanned everyone with her eyes. They were definitely worried and that was a good sign. It was a worry friends usually had.
"What happened to Sara, Lexi…" Suvi said in her typical Scottish accent.
"Maybe Drack said something to her…" Said Liam and deserved a weak slap by Drack's hand.
"Shut up, kid…. Let the doc speak." Scolded an old Krogan Liam's big mouth.
"The Pathfinder went through some difficult mental breakdowns since she followed her role. These states were graduating and the first serious mental breakdown was after rescuing the Salarian ark." Lexi was looking at everybody and trying to keep her voice on the professional level. Peebee was silently looking at her. Now she looked like her personal bodyguard.
"Sara was devastated for leaving Drack's scouts to die. She felt like betraying him…" Said Lexi and looked at Drack.
"That kid just worry too much… This is war…. a big and ugly one."
"Yes, Drack. She worries too much. That is a part of the problem. As it was perplexed with her own death, the experience of a betrayal was mostly intensified. It made Sara to feel more intimately connected to any of you here. That death made her change more she could realise, more she let you all know."
"Oh… Sara…" Suvi uttered. Others were silent in their thoughts, so Lexi continued.
"Peebee told me that right after this happened, Nexus had another bad surprise for Sara. Not only she dealt with the expectations of the Initiative, but she met some angry civilians…." Lexi said.
"To cut it short, one bitch accused Sara of being a looser, a weakling, or whatever reason of her problems. Sara tried to get drunk in Vortex… I found her there." Said Peebee playing along Lexi's narration.
"This only highlighted Sara's vision of herself. Fortunately, Peebee found a way how to help her … let's say… found a better and healthier shortcut to relaxation than alcohol. And it helped Sara to cope with it… for a while." Said Lexi. Peebee moved nervously.
"What was the ritual, Peebee?" Asked Jaal innocently. He was seriously asking it innocently and Gil chuckled.
"They had sex…" Said Drack almost bored. Peebee rolled her eyes. Yeah, the old dino had a chance to shine.
"WHAT? For how long... WHAT?" Cora looked surprised. How this could escape her attention? Those two?
"You know, princess. You get naked, you kiss, you stick your…" Started Peebee patiently explaining.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah.. cut it loose. We get the picture" Gill stopped that nonsense. Lexi showed something close to facepalm but continued.
"Anyway… That attached Sara even closer to all of you…" Said she.
"They were bounding to us while mating? Interesting practice…" Said Jaal amazed.
"Now you know what would you get into, if Peebee really meant to fuck you Jaal." Said Liam and laughed. Although the whole issue with Sara was not a laughing matter at all, there was still some place for humour.
"No… not that way Jaal." This was harder than Lexi thought. "Those gifts she gave you… To all of us.. Appeared in her mind after that day. She was secretly hunting something special for every one of you." They all remembered those small gifts in their rooms. A big box full of sweet cookies in Vetra's room; movie collection for Liam; a model of the Tempest for Kallo; book of poetry for Jaal; collection of seeds for Cora's future garden… Every of them had something special from Sara.
"That kid gave me a nice knife from the first Architect we have beaten." Said Drack and slapped his waist. He had it with him always. Nice weapon.
"Well, I got those poker gloves and I'll beat your ass with them." Said Gill to show off and Drack looked at him like at a weakling. Weapon was better.
Suvi just smiled as she got a simple, but a handmade wooden cross from her.
"Anyway… Sara needed to express somehow she cared for us. Unfortunately, it was not coming only from love she felt, but a growing loneliness triggered by the depression she tried to keep away from everyone…." No one really reacted to the fact, Sara was breaking up, but there was still too much to tell them.
"And… Even bounds she already created seemed to hang above her like a Damocles sword…" Said Lexi.
"You mentioned that the breakdown after Drack… was the first one." Said Cora looking at Lexi. She was quite distressed.
"Yes. The other one was triggered yesterday and fully uncovered itself just two hours ago." Said Lexi quietly.
"What happened to Sara? Was she hurt during the operation on Kadara?" Asked Kallo this time. They were obviously puzzled.
Peebee was watching Lexi how she was fighting to find a strength to tell them more. She raised her hand and squized Lexi's arm. It was a silent support Lexi needed and appreciated.
"Well everyone knows now that me and Ryder were fucking sometimes, yeah?" She traced any comments but when none had come she continued. Everyone seemed surprised that Peebee was acting like someone else. At least towards the doctor.
"Sooo… Everyone heard that rumour about that Asari Sara kind of fucked well... I was jealous and …" Peebee said giving Lexi time. "I kind of did not help Sara to process emotions. I wanted more and…"
"That's ok Peebee." Lexi said and touched her hand and then looked at the crew. "It was me that unknown Asari on Kadara. Me and Ryder spent a night there." The silence was too deep, too shocked…..
"Sara was… She desired to forget, for some reason with me and for my own personal past and so much more, I allowed it.. I wanted it too. Sara did not realise that Peebee was attached to her more than she expected. Maybe she knew it but just decided to ignore. We promised it to be only a one-time thing but that did not matter at the end. When the whole drama blew up, Sara was completely crushed by guilt." It was so hard, she felt those eyes on her... On their doctor with a professional mask who did a horrible move and endangered the mission….
"When she saw Peebee taking it harder… Sara perceived the whole issue too intensively. She promised herself to protect the crew as her family and she suddenly felt as a reason behind its destruction. This let Sara to give up her barriers and let self-destructive thoughts to get to her…." Said Lexi. Her voice was nearly trembling… No she needed to stay strong now.
"We fought yesterday.. a bit.. well a lot.." Said Peebee. "Doc came to me afterwards and calmed me down… in a way… but today she noticed me that Sara is down... mentally… and that we should well.. Speak to you all about it." Said Peebee. She was surprised how strong she felt. Maybe it was some urge to help doc after she had come to help her yesterday too. She was a caring person and she endangered herself the most by this revelation.
The room was silent for couple of minutes. Everyone needed to process it. Peebee hoped Lexi was right about the crew and their attachment to Sara, and that they would speak fast. Lexi was shaking a bit and looked like waiting for execution.
"Well..." Liam spoke first and all the eyes turned to him that he backed a step away.
"Heh, well.. I just hope you see the importance of that movie night I proposed…" This was maybe the most stupid thing someone could say in this situation, but it helped to cut the silence.
"Just no drama, kid... please. This was too much for a century to go." Chuckled Drack and had come closer to the two Asari in some kind of a protective movement.
"Urge is a bitch….and love is the best Poker player I know..." Said Gill and smiled mysteriously at Lexi.
"My god this is such a mess… Tann would take our ship if he finds out…" Said Cora facepalming, looking like a worried big sister. If she had an urge to kill them, she took it quite well.
"He cannot. I already changed the access codes to the controls." Said Kallo... He did it right after the Initiative questioned Sara's plan with Meridian.
"And we have Kesh there. She surely will sneak up some resources to us." Said Vetra and her eyes sparkled enthusiastically. She enjoyed pirate style of life.
"What about SAM?" Asked Suvi.
Don't worry Dr Anwar. I'm capable of locking the door to the Node. Said an artificial voice above them.
Peebee was watching this planning in progressed and was herself touched by this crazy band of aliens. They were already searching for a solution if someone tried to blackmail them, this crew. Lexi was right about them, and Peebee was proud to be part of this circus. She looked at Lexi. She was smiling. Her eyes were tired, but she was smiling.
Jaal coughed. "Well, but… that's happening after. Doctor. What do you suggest to help Sara? Why you informed us about this?" He looked at the doctor. Vetra walked towards her and put her arm on Lexi's shoulder in support. They were ready.
"Thank you all for this. I knew you would never let Sara down." She smiled. She was proud too to be part of this group.
"What Sara needs is to see it by her own eyes. That we are a one and big crazy family… capable of forgiving each other."