It had been a day after her discharge from the hospital and Hanayo was already settling into Kotori's apartment comfortably enough. It was a little strange to her though, to wake up in a bed that wasn't one she was used to and to find that prior events hadn't been a mere dream.

Kotori had insisted that Hanayo sleep in the bed, whilst she would take a futon in her main room. And whilst Hanayo had been reluctant to accept, Kotori had taken the time to remind her how Maki would probably blow a gasket if she found that a recently discharged patient was sleeping on the floor in a futon when a bed was in the equation.

Hanayo had had a small part time job prior to this, but she knew Maki wouldn't even allow that. But maybe it was time for something different anyway; she would have to say thank you to Kotori in some way by being able to pay some more of the rent. Not that she could work with a concussion and the after effects of it.

The stab wound, Maki had told her, would most likely scar and as much as Hanayo didn't want that at all, there wasn't a lot she could do. She didn't want to remove what was binding the wound either unless she had to.

Kotori was able to stay with her though, reassuring her she was still beautiful even through the bruises were still there, but fading. And she would come out the other end better again. In fact, Kotori had even moved some of her work out of her sewing room so she could sit with her in the main room and talk, rather than being confined to a room filled with bright fabrics and potential sharp hazards, as well as cramped with mannequins and models.

The company was welcome and a large change to how Eli had been out so often. She kept finding her thoughts drifting back to Eli through the day, but she never went to pick up the phone and call her. Eli probably needed time and space.

"Hey, Hanayo-chan," Kotori spoke up, albeit a little quietly, "When did… When did it start…?"

Hanayo's gaze went to her lap before she looked up again, "Well… There's no point hiding anything else really, is there…?"

She paused before starting to speak again, "I couldn't tell you exactly when she started to drink… It probably started off small. She used to drink in moderation and never really went off the rails. Maybe on special occasions, like New Year's," She sighed, having never really thought about when the trouble began, "I thought it was a bit strange when she came home drunk the first few times though… She didn't hit me or anything though, but she was definitely different."

Different… Kotori agreed with that from what she had seen a couple of nights ago. It was still difficult to wrap her head around what had actually happened, if she was honest. But she couldn't dispute it in her mind with Hanayo sat near her.

"When she first hit me… I thought it was an accident, you know? Drunk people are clumsy… I didn't even tell Eli-chan what happened. She just woke up the next day, apologised for probably getting too rowdy. I-I mean… I loved her. Maybe I still do, I'm not even sure."

After a short silence, Kotori spoke, "I'm sorry for asking… I know I shouldn't pry."

"It's alright," Hanayo said, pushing up her glasses, "I think it's something I need to talk about to accept."

Kotori looked over the young woman in front of her. It was a strange feeling, to see her grow up and be with someone else, despite the fact she felt, rather selfishly, that it was so wrong. She admired her maturity in this situation though, something she didn't expect out of the youngest of the nine of them. But they had all grown up now and things seemed more serious than they did in school. Even Honoka had grown to make some adult decisions, finding that it was better to leave the bakery to her younger sister and be with Umi, who had inherited the dojo. They had so little to worry about, other than the odd exam, live shows and Kotori herself had had clothing deadlines. Not that she had ever gotten too stressed or worried about that, as it was what she loved to do.

"Well, if you want to talk, then I'll be here to listen.".

Hanayo smiled at that, but didn't say anything more for the time being.

It hadn't surprised Rin to see Maki completely crash for the majority of the next day. And whilst her phone was still on, she was confident that no one would call. But she knew Maki had to wake up eventually, waking up late in the afternoon, nearer to the evening and plodding out of the bedroom as if she had been called earlier in the morning to go and get a cup of coffee.

But Rin had already taken the initiative and pre-made her the pot.

"Sleep well, nya?"

"Mmn…" Maki grunted non-commitally as she poured herself a mug of coffee, pausing as she glanced towards the milk on the counter opposite and then taking a swig, not seeming to be too bothered about the bitter taste in her mouth, deciding it would be better to have a raw shot of caffeine instead.

"You're okay?"

Maki paused and eyed her, not nastily, but with a deep lying tiredness and mental exhaustion, "I have a headache. I'm going to get some paracetamol."

"Uhh. I think we're all out, nya."

Maki stopped halfway to the bathroom and rubbed her eyes, "Listen, I don't want to be a burden but-"

"I'll go out and get you some, sure."

Rin smiled to her and Maki managed a small one in return, "Thank you."

Rin went and left the house whilst Maki elected to go back to bed, complete with her black cup of coffee, foregoing the milk yet again as she collapsed back down and pulled the covers up. But she didn't last very long, pulling the pillow that was usually on Rin's side and hugging it close to her body. And for some reason, she felt as though she couldn't stop shaking.

No, no…

"Rin," She croaked, "Come back…"

She knew it didn't mean anything. She knew that Rin wouldn't be able to hear her, or come back for her, but that didn't stop her from asking. From begging.

Why now? Why was everything washing over her now? At least let it happen whilst Rin was here. Whilst someone was here. And she felt horribly selfish, if anything, Hanayo should be the one to be going through this, not her. It was weak too. What would her mother and father say if they saw her like this right now?

Then again, no one else got time off, so why should she? In fact, she shouldn't be taking any time off at all, as the director of a well-known hospital. She was important; she was necessary.

But if anything, the crushing expectations felt to be too much for her. Wait - she still had to find Eli a rehabilitation clinic. She had to make sure Hanayo was alright, not that she doubted Kotori's abilities to make her feel at home and to gradually unwind from this whole ordeal. She had to make sure everything was running smoothly at the hospital and -

She didn't want μ's to break.

Maybe that was what made everything to daunting, the realisation that things might never go back to normal. Then again, they could never go back to high school. They had become adults, they had matured and they had all achieved a career and most had gotten an other half.

If there was one thing she had learned though, it was that life wasn't fair. Not everything can be the perfect life you imagined it to be in those idealistic dreams you had in high school. Of course, she had known that being a doctor was going to be stressful, but she had never imagined things would reach this extent and even less she imagined having time for herself at any point.

It had felt like hours had passed, rather than minutes, for how long it took Rin to get back and before she knew it, Rin was there, making a fuss over her and only half registering the words she was saying. She clambered into bed beside her, holding her close to her as Maki felt as though she were running out of breath; drowning in her own head.

Eli received the call a week after the incident had occurred. Calling it that did dampen the impact it had, she noticed, even if she did feel like she should own something like this rather than avoid it with a euphemism. She grabbed her phone, answering to hear Maki's ever-tired voice on the other side.

"Found a rehab for you. Kinda local too. I'll head over there with you and we can get you in."

"Thank you so much, Maki."

"I'm trusting that you haven't touched much of the stuff since you got to your sister's."

"Yeah, don't worry," Eli sighed, "Alisa locked anything she actually had up that's really strong and is making sure I don't sneak out to any bars. I'm cutting back and Alisa's helping."

"Glad to hear. Keep at it and rehab'll help sort you out, this is just a head start."

There was a short silence on both ends of the line.

"How're you holding up?"

"I feel terrible. I'll… I'll be honest. I wish it hadn't gotten this far, I have so many regrets and I just want all this to be a bad dream."

"... Yeah. I'm sorry."

"I'm not the one who deserves apologies, Maki. Give me the address of the rehab and I'll meet you there at whatever time. Preferably sooner rather than later though."

"How does tomorrow sound? 11am. I've called ahead and they've got you a space."

"That sounds fine."

"I was just wondering… How would you feel about some of the others coming to see you off?"

Eli managed a sigh, rubbing at the back of the neck, "I'd… Prefer if it was a small group. But I wouldn't mind."

"I don't think some of us want the sun to set on our anger, if you get what I mean. Four of us, no more, possibly less."

Eli agreed and wrote down the address that Maki proceeded to give her, then hanging up with a sigh. She knew that word would likely reach the rest of her friends soon enough, but she went to break the news to her sister regardless.

It had taken a while to come to terms with what she was being faced with. Of course, she had established that she had problems and that she had caused something horrible within the perfect group of goddesses that were supposedly μ's. And even if her memory was broken and fragmented, with little bits and pieces missing, she knew she couldn't escape what she had done. And now she was being faced with serious professional rehabilitation that she should have gotten a lot earlier.

She didn't want to face her friends right now and she knew she wouldn't want to for a while, until she sorted herself out and until she was clean, not matter how long it took. Maybe she would take some visitors, she knew that Maki would want to check up on her, even if it required managing to salvage a sliver a time off work. The others would probably need time to mull over how they felt in their head. And Eli couldn't blame them, she would feel the exact same way if it was someone else within the group. But alas, it had been her. From the reliable school council president, to an abusive drunkard.

Kotori, although still not quite sure how she felt about Eli, had been one of the few to agree to coming along to the rehabilitation centre and see Eli off. Still harbouring a bit of a grudge, she had stepped through the doors, making her way over to the group that had already gathered, of Maki, Umi, Nozomi and Eli.

Whilst looking better, Eli still didn't look particularly well. Kotori could spot the trademark signs of a lack of sleep, the absence of a thorough hair brush and clothes that had just been thrown on in the morning. A lack of overall care and the presence of guilt. Even so, Kotori had let jealousy get the better of her over the years and felt a distinct omission of sympathy, but quickly snapped out of it. This friend needed just as much help as the other, however sour her feelings towards her were.

Upon being greeted, Kotori did notice that Eli was almost shying away from her gaze, not that she could blame her. She brought up some small talk with the rest of them, whilst Eli and Maki went to the front desk to get her checked in.

Umi hadn't looked like she'd had any particularly restless nights, then again, with being busy most of the day, the stress was apparent on her face, the only smiles she gave were small and quick and she'd tied her hair back in a loose bun.

Nozomi did look the worst out of them all, Kotori thought, perhaps a bit rudely. Whilst her hair was up in her usual twintails, her eyes betrayed tiredness and her makeup was sloppily done. Then again, she could only imagine what she was going through. Nozomi tended to be more sensitive than she let on.

"Kotori."

"Mm?" she turned to face Eli, who was still avoiding her gaze.

"Can I talk to you for a minute…? Privately?"

Kotori glanced towards Nozomi and Umi before nodding and stepping away with her.

"Look, Kotori… I know you don't like me-"

"Eli-chan, I'll stop you right there. I don't dislike you, I don't dislike you at all. You just have to understand that this has been tough for all of us and friends fight or fall out and… I know that slapping you was probably an overreaction on my part. I'm sorry about that."

"No, no, I probably deserved it… No, I definitely did. But I just wanted to ask you something, just… Just have a small chat, set the record straight."

"That's fine with me."

"I suppose my main point that I wanted to make is… Take good care of her. I know that I'm an easy act to follow, but it's the least she deserves. And I know it's not my place to ask either."

"Don't worry, Eli-chan. I'll do all that I can."

"You'll do a better job than me, that's for sure."

The two shared a smile briefly, before Kotori then took the opportunity to pull Eli into a hug, which Eli seemed reluctant to return for a moment, before her arms wrapped around her. Eli sighed shakily as they pulled away, rubbing her eyes with her thumb and index finger, looking as though she were about to cry.

"C'mon, cut that out," Kotori said warmly, thumbing away her tears briefly, "You've shown us that you're willing to change. And you will, I know you will. Hanayo-chan will see that too."

Eli nodded before speaking in a trembling voice, "I should… I should go and talk to Umi. Then Nozomi."

"Yeah."

With that, Eli moved off and went to talk to Umi first, whilst Kotori went back to Nozomi.

"Thanks for coming to see me off, Umi."

"Of course. I have been intending to apologise for being so… Firm with you the other day."

"I deserved it. You needn't worry about my feelings in the grand scheme of things, especially when it's the truth."

"But I do worry. I might not tend to show it, but I still care about you."

"It… It means a lot. I don't know how I'd cope through this without friends, even if we are on rocky ground right now."

"We'll get through it. Remember our first Love Live?" Umi said with a small laugh.

"How could I ever forget?" Eli smiled.

After a short bout of silence, Umi spoke up again, "I know you've been putting it off, but… I think it's time to talk to Nozomi."

Eli's smile faded, but she nodded regardless, "Yeah, you're right. I'll see you around."

Umi nodded before stepping aside to let Eli come through and make her way to Nozomi.

"Elichi," Nozomi greeted simply when she saw her, managing a tired smile. This was a conversation that Eli had been dreading.

"Nozomi. Can we just…? Step away, for a second…?"

"Sure."

Shuffling away from the rest of the group, Eli awkwardly opened her mouth to say something, but then wasn't entirely sure about what to say at all. She sighed, rubbing the back of her neck before her arms uselessly dropped to her sides.

"I-I'm sorry, I really don't know what to say. I just… I know I need to talk to you."

"We've got time. Don't worry about it, Elichi."

Another bout of silence passed for a brief moment, "I know my reputation's pretty much, just… Gone to shit, but… I don't want you to get upset by this or blame yourself."

Nozomi nodded, "I know, but it's difficult…"

"Listen, this would have hopefully been the end product either way. No matter what happened, I was going to need to go to rehabilitation."

"I suppose I was an idiot for being blind to things…"

"How could you have possibly known?" She said softly, "None of us wanted to face this. I don't expect you to have either. Who's going to go up to their best friend and accuse them of something like that, however true it turned out to be?"

"... You're right. I already know the answer to this, but… You'll do your best in there? You'll get clean?"

"Of course I will, completely, I'll never touch a bottle again."

"That's all I needed to hear. I know you can do it. And I'll make time to come and see you."

"I'd like that. And I'm so sorry for all the trouble I've caused between everyone."

"I'm sure we'll all come to forgive you," Nozomi assured, pulling her into a hug, "No matter how long it takes."

No more words were shared as Eli pulled away from the hug, Maki bringing her to the doors where an attendant would help Eli ease into the new environment.

"You're ready?"

"I'm not sure I'll ever be, but I'm as close as I am to it."

Maki nodded, "Hey, Eli, listen… When I was younger I looked up to the student council president. Honoka, less so, but you were definitely someone to admire. And I still do, to a degree. What I'm saying is," She sighed, "I'm not good with words, but get in there and get out so we can all be a family again. And I don't have any doubts in you, absolutely none of us do."

Eli smiled gently, "Of course. Thank you Maki, but don't let yourself burn out. I think after this you deserve some off time."

"Yeah, yeah, people have been saying that to me for a while…"

Eli chuckled before receiving a pat on the back from Maki and finally making the difficult first step through those doors.

Author's note: i'm so sorry for the lack of an update,,, things have been getting pretty hectic irl and i've been getting burned out in general, as well as whenever i try to write, especially serious stuff. But i hope this is worth the wait! I think there'll be one, maybe two more chapters after this, thank you for sticking with me and princess pana through this fic!