Lexi was sitting in the med-bay looking silently at the white lily on her table. The flower required bigger pot and was growing into a beauty. Surely modified to not act as a typical Earth plant, but surviving and growing above its former limitations. She felt that many people here were doing the same. They needed more space as their personalities grew, they were stronger, more capable of survival. She was thinking of every member of the Tempest, she was thinking of Peebee and her inner strength to fight her own demons; she was thinking about Sara. A young woman outgrowing herself by decades of years, doing things no one could expect she was capable of. Maybe that was what fascinated everyone about her. How much she could push herself over the limits, how she was willing to overstep her fears.

Lexi touched the white petals and smiled. It was a sad smile though. She, an Asari slowly reaching her third century of life, she was shaded by this young woman in many aspects. The hearing, she planned it to go differently, to be cool and have everything under control, but it was her who's nerves crumbled under the ignorance of the Initiative. She was no diplomat, her world was the care of this bunch of aliens, her research, her profession. After nearly 300 years of life, her world was quite small. How comparable was the age of an Asari with the age of a Human? How they perceived the speed of their life? Was it similar to a cat aging alongside a human? How different was their reception? And how strong was the impact of Sara's character on her own? She sighted. Sooner or later she would be at the end of her Maiden period, although she promised herself to have break from relationships. There were serious reasons for it.

She had a hard time dealing with loneliness. Being abandoned was not a problem in itself, but being abandoned because of doing something she was most passionate about, that was what hurt her the most. When she was only young an inexperienced, she had a crush on Turians, mostly because she missed her father. Typical Electra syndrome, as the human doctors named it, maybe, but for a stage of an Asari life it was not uncommon. Turians and Asari, of course, had become her common dating mate. She even melded with one Turian with whom she was, while being nearly 80 years of age. Then, when her profession filled her life nearly in every aspect, she wanted to sync with someone who was capable of accepting her passion, her love for her research and work. She was unlucky. It did not matter that she was with a Turian or with an Asari. She was unlucky with the personalities, their goals or passions. Nor Salarians proved to be better with their Scientific focus, nor Krogans, she focused her main thesis on. She was an expert on alien anatomy, psychology, but she could not figure out why there was a problem with all those long living races around her, why she could not feel comfortable. Why she was not fully into them although she wished and why they could not share her passion with her. She was a researcher and she sought to experiment and was willing to try it with humans who were a mystery to all as newcomers. Then, she met Victoria.

It happened on the Citadel, in a part where a beautiful park was being constructed. Victoria was there as a specialist human consultant and helping the designers to combine Earth plants and trees in sectors which would be in harmony with alien ecosystems. Lexi was there to ensure the health safety of the Salarian staff if any poisoning occurred. She still could remember the day when they met. She was maybe 267 years old. A Salarian ambassador introduced them together, the formalities were in place, shaking hands, a smile, exchange of name cards and short history summary. She could remember all as it happened just yesterday…

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"Victoria Iris Cabrera." A woman around 36 years of age smiled at an Asari opposite and offered her a hand. "A botanist specialist and a consultant for this project. It's a pleasure to meet you Dr T'Perro."

Lexi accepted the hand and scanned the human in front of her. She was a bit taller than her, with a curly dark hair and kind brown eyes. There were slightly visible wrinkles near her eyes, but it somehow suited her. Victoria had a slightly, but naturally brown skin quite common for a Latino country she must have been from. Judging by her accent and surname. Lexi had enough time already to study humans. Materials were accessible and she also worked along some of their best scientists. One she made a friend of. Harry, one of those of his race she had the highest respect of and trusted to.

"Pleasure it's on my side, Dr Cabrera. And please, call me Lexi. No need for formalities amongst colleagues." She could see a smile on Victoria's lips, a sign of gratitude.

"Of course, Lexi… Would you like to join me for a coffee? The workers are having a break, and there is a small nice bar just near here." She was very polite and charming, Lexi thought. Most of the human scientists Lexi worked with were above 45 or 50, and were usually men. She knew about the long culture of oppression within its own race, were human women fought for their independence. For such short-lived race, their culture was rich on conflicts. She remembered how her Salarian professor described them as over-passionate aliens who's confidence and specific individualistic nature caused them to make their own planet too small for the scope of their creativity. When three humans were in the room, there would be six opinions conflicting.

"Good idea. I haven't tried that place yet." Said she only, and so they both walked side by side to the place, silent. It was a first meeting, but the silence was not conflicting their thoughts. It seemed relaxing and natural until they ordered coffee and Victoria looked at the metallic cup in front of her.

"Coffee is making me miss Earth, sometimes. The ritual behind it." Victoria started to speak with a dreamy voice. This way of distancing themselves within their thoughts reminded Lexi sometimes of the Asari melding. In a way, the humans were capable to live within their own thoughts and memories. As their remembering process was not so intensive as for Drells, humans could modify their own visions and turned them into art, into passion, or even fake them in order to heal their own trauma. The limits of a human brain were the actual creators of their own magnificence as well as tragedy.

"Drinking from those unpractically small porcelain cups?" Asked Lexi but smiled.

"Oh, yes." Victoria laughed and then immediately apologised. "I'm sorry. Surely, you're not interested in my mumbling… Those things belong to the past." Their eyes met and Lexi realised that what bothered her was not the laugh or chit chat about human traditions. It was the missing beat of her own heart when she dived her eyes into the ones of the woman before her.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Victoria and Lexi had become close friends within a month period. Their friendship was building around the lunch breaks in the first week and followed by spontaneous friendly walks after work. Lexi felt relaxed and good around Victoria, listening to her long descriptions of different places on Earth with beautiful natural gardens of red and purple flowers, the peace of parks; the fact that humans could still save some piece of nature after years of wars between their own kind and how symbolical it was for a scientist like her to be able to see it. To be alive and born in an age where other planets offered her discoveries and studies amongst the best minds of the Milky Way galaxy, to enjoy every second of her life…..

"Are you sad sometimes, humans don't live so long?" Asked Lexi once after two months of knowing each other, when both were sitting under a tree in their favourite park of the Citadel.

"I don't know… But I think, no. I think it is good to live short, at least for me… for us, humans." Said Victoria. Her eyes were closed, resting her head on the tree, thinking.

"Why?" Lexi liked to watch her in this position, it calmed her down.

"Everything needs to die, sooner or later. Studying the life of the silent trees and flowers showed me the diversity of life. This galaxy is like a huge garden. You, Asari and Krogans are the trees, the highest and oldest members of a complex Ecosystem, with purpose of the oldest to look after us, to teach us and remember us. Your beauty grows with experience, slow, majestic, nearly god-like. But ours… We humans are like roses. Life is fast as a beam, but intense. If watered and cheered well, the shade of the colour is harmonised with the sweetest aroma surrounding the soft petals… Any poison kills us fast, indoctrinates our thoughts and kills us even from within. Sharpens our thorns. The intensity is both destructive and creative, but it would not be possible in a long life. Our short life span makes us who we are, makes us valuable members of the garden, and I love this analogy. I love this intensity, dreaming, foolishness and naiveté following all of it." She laughed with the last words and opened her eyes.

"I love it too... I meant, about you… Those characteristics..." Said Lexi regretting immediately what she said. She was so charmed by these dreamy stages and could listen to them for hours. But, her tongue slipped words which were not in place. Victoria only smiled.

"Dr T'Perro. I have a feeling that you tried to give me a compliment. So, unprofessional." She said with a serious voice, but when she noticed a sudden and terrified expression forming on the Asari's face she burst into laugh.

"Calm down, Lexi. It was only a joke." She said.

"Not a funny one, Vicki." She looked grumpy now, her eyebrows lowered in an annoyed look, but inside feeling relieved.

"Fine, fine, you are right. It was unfair. I'm sorry." She was still smiling and Lexi was still looking angry.

"You'll need to buy me coffee for a week to forgive you for this." Said Lexi, but a little smile appeared on her lips.

"I'm scientist, you know I'm too poor for this. But, I have something better to offer you." Said Victoria, enjoying this friendly game and looked at Lexi.

"What is it?" The curiosity was obvious. But the shock following it was too sudden, when she felt Victoria getting closer to her. When her hand softly touched her face and her lips closed the distance between them in a warm kiss. Her heart missed more than one beat.

She was before in Lexi's apartment. Filled with books, some artefacts and basics, Lexi never fell for comfort and lived simply. They studied there together or talked for hours. It was usually in her apartment were Victoria turned to be the listener, read her works and shared her opinions on Lexi's life experiences. It was a place where they all met with Harry and laughed together. And now, it had become a sanctuary for their love.

Victoria was the more dominant one, hungrier one leading every move. It was strange for how well she directed her touch on the blue skin, knowing exactly where to direct her fingers. Lexi could not believe that she was the first Asari Victoria ever touched or kissed. And she hardly believed she felt so vulnerable under her hands, willing to be seduced like a young girl. The desire was stripping and tearing their clothes and they ended up in bed without knowing how much time had passed. This human filled her existence with passionate movements, synchronized with her own in a way she had never experienced before.

IIIIIIIIIIIIII

Lexi was holding a photograph of her and Vicki and tears were flowing down her cheeks. Victoria insisted to use and old-school human polaroid camera to take this picture, and it was the only one she kept. Every digital was deleted from the files, every proof of their relationship. Just this, one photograph, focused on their happy faces, on those kind brown eyes she loved so much. Five years together and this small frame was the only thing left, but the only right one which was supposed to be left of Victoria. It was true of her. Old picture, decaying with time, loosing colours, structure, life… She would not be happy to be remembered in a one and only perfect shape, it was not her, and Lexi needed to learn it the hard way.

The picture fell on the table and she covered her face as the tears were flowing in streams, the pain was filling her soul crushing it like in a cramp. Lexi learned the truth behind the analogy about roses and a huge garden, Vicki told her that day when they first kissed, too late. She learned it too late. The truth behind her own decaying and dying body, the reasons of living fully and for every moment, giving Lexi all what was left of her. The pain was unbearable after that realisation and was still even now, when she remembered how foolish and selfish she was when Victoria broke up with her.

It was on the day when Harry offered Lexi and Vicki to become a part of the Initiative project. Lexi was naturally excited, it was her dream to follow a team to another galaxy and have a chance to study different alien races. She could not understand why Victoria was sad and quiet on their way home. How hard it was for her to tell Lexi she could not follow her there, avoiding the answer with tears in her eyes. Why she broke up with her when Lexi refused to leave her alone, why she was violently packing her things, shouting at her, trying to hurt Lexi in order to let her go. That most painful moments she could not understand her motivations, she felt hurt, betrayed, angry…

The words were cruel and intense in the ugly fight which followed. Emotions controlled Lexi's action when she released her light biotic field, not knowing that for a dying and fragile rose, even a soft wind was a deadly hurricane. It was too late then to understand anything….

"Who is she? So hot…" She heard Peebee's caring and worried voice near her ear and a blue hand touching her arm. The other one was holding the photo. The memories consumed her attention as her heart and she had not realised when Peebee entered the Med-bay. Lexi looked at Peebee with eyes red from tears and smiled sadly.

"A woman I once loved…. and killed."