Notes: thank you so much for the awesome reviews, the make my day and keep the muses working so I can update faster. Next chapter will be up sooner, promise! I hope you catch the references to The dead poet´s society, and how much they suit the Warblers.
3. Before we lost hope
"Okay, Warblers, it's time to regroup."
The boys scattered around the room all stare at him, giving him their full attention, and Nick begins to feel the nervousness rise and his voice start to tremble.
"I know some of you are still waiting for Blaine to show up and fix all this mess we've gotten ourselves into, but that's not going to happen. He didn't leave because we weren't good enough; him leaving, it had nothing to do with us, and I need you to understand that before we can move forward."
He takes a deep breath. There's a look of understanding in the Warbler's eyes, but no one says anything, so Nick continues, voice growing steadier with each word.
"There won't be a lead singer this time around, we'll all get the chance to sing; depending on one person alone was our first mistake." He walks around the room until he's in the middle, and sits down on the carpeted floor. "Okay, come, sit, we're going to introduce ourselves to the group, for the second-first time, and we'll move on from there."
"This is ridiculous." Sebastian mutters, as he sits cross-legged next to Thad.
"I think it might work, it's like an initiation to a secret society, right?"
Jeff jumps to the centre of the circle and clears his throat.
"I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life! To put to rout all that was not life, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived..."
Silence stretches among the boys like a blanket, and Jeff sits down solemnly, unfazed by the looks of confusion thrown his way.
"What Jeff means..." Starts nick, unsure. "...Is that we need to remember why we came here in the first place, what being a Warbler meant." The boys nod, but no one makes a move to start, so Nick sighs and breathes deep. "I joined the Warblers because I was lost, and all the roads seemed to lead me here, until this became the only place where I could find me."
There's a small pause before the next boy speaks, and then the next, and then Thad whispers.
"I joined the Warblers because I was tired of being alone."
Sebastian hears his voice even before he realizes he's speaking.
"I joined the Warblers because I was tired of feeling that I wasn't worth shit."
They could judge him, of course. They could laugh and say he's being dramatic, that they're all exaggerating too much. Others would, but the Warblers would never.
"I joined the Warblers because I was scared." Jeff says. "The day I joined was the day I stopped thinking about all the things that could go wrong."
All eyes land on Hunter, and he raises his eyes and looks at them one by one, dropping his gaze to the floor the moment it reaches Sebastian.
"I joined the Warblers for all the wrong reasons...and I apologize. I didn't understand what being a Warbler meant until the moment that I saw that letter." He takes a deep breath, and he seems somewhat softer, the strongest kind, like all his hard edges had been smoothed. "I joined the Warblers for all the wrong reasons, but I stay because here, with you, is the only place where I don't feel angry all the time."
"Apology accepted!" Chirps Jeff. "Who agrees?"
They all agree, because that's how the Warblers are; they forgive and forget and move forward as a unit, and Hunter became part of that unit the moment he buttoned up the blazer for the first time.
"So now that you all remember why you joined, what do you say if we start moving forward?"
Nick stands up, and the Warblers follow.
It's a good place to start moving forward, Hunter thinks.
.
"I slept with Kurt last Friday."
Sebastian rolls his eyes and raises his glass to welcome Blaine.
"Hey, hi to you too, killer, long time no see and all that crap."
"He acted like it didn't matter, like I wasn't even there." Blaine ignores the look in the other boy's eyes and sits down on the stool beside him. "He acted like he didn't care. How is that possible? How could he not care?"
Sebastian sighs and drinks what's left of his vodka in one go, signalling the bartender to bring two more.
"He wanted to keep it casual, no strings, and the way he looked at me...like he couldn't even see me, like I wasn't his soul mate, like..."
"For fuck's sake, Blaine, what the fuck are you saying?" Blaine looks at him with a mix of pain and confusion and Sebastian has to use all the willpower he has not to succumb to his kicked puppy look. "Do you realize that you just used the word soul mate to refer to your high school sweetheart, who forgot you the moment he got an escape route out of this filthy town, and is probably humping some European, nerdy dancer with an accent?"
Looking at Blaine's face, Sebastian realizes that this is probably how you feel when you tell a child that Santa Clause doesn't exist.
"How can you say that?" Blaine whispers, gaze dropping to his hands.
"Do you know what I liked about you?" Sebastian asks abruptly, and Blaine looks at him just for a second, intrigued. "I saw you in all those Warblers videos, and I just knew I had to meet you, I had a feeling, I thought that that boy, that king, that guy who owned the stage like it belonged to him, who was confident enough to serenade a guy in the middle of a GAP store without fear of rejection, could be my soul mate."
Blaine's eyes open wide, taken aback, and his lips part as to say something, but Sebastian continues.
"But then I met you, and the boy from the videos was gone. I was so angry... I thought I was angry at you, for changing before I could meet you, but after all this time I realize, I was angry at myself, because I had chosen a soul mate that was so out of my reach, that he didn't even exist anymore." Blaine says nothing, and keeps staring at him with wide eyes, so Sebastian continues. "Do you understand, Blaine? You see a person you like and call it your soul mate because that gives you some sense of ownership over them, but the truth is they're only people, and you will forget them, just like they'll forget you. The sooner you realize this, the easier it will be for you to move on."
Blaine has never looked at Sebastian like that, like he understands everything for the first time, like he's actually listened, like everything Sebastian said mattered enough to make him realize something important.
"Do I look as pathetic as I feel right now?"
"You've been looking that way for a while now. But hey..." Sebastian smiles slightly as he slides a glass towards Blaine. "I think there's still hope for you."
"I wish I could reboot my system." Blaine sighs and drinks half of the glass in one gulp.
Sebastian laughs.
"Well, we could arrange that..."
.
Sebastian's been gone for exactly four hours and three minutes. It's not like Hunter to count the minutes, but here he is, laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling and pretending that he doesn't care that Sebastian's been gone for four hours and four minutes.
There's a soft knock on the other side of the door, and he almost jumps off the bed before he realizes that Sebastian doesn't need to knock.
"Come in."
Nick appears at the doorway, hesitant and unsure, and Hunter has to motion for him to come inside and take a seat on the desk chair.
"What are you doing up at this hour?"
"I just...well, you see..." Nick shakes his head and sighs loudly, raising his eyes to meet Hunter's. "I wanted to see if you were ok, with me being captain of the Warblers and..."
He looks concerned, genuinely concerned, and Hunter feels a strange warmth spread through his chest at the thought that someone could care this much about the way he feels.
"I think you'll be an amazing captain, Nick."
The other boy smiles, wishful.
"You think? Really? I don't want to screw up, this is our last chance, and if we screw up..."
"You won't. You're the captain because the team believes in you, not because your name was first on the list."
Nick's smile grows, and his eyes brighten, and Hunter knows in that second that Nick will be the greatest captain of all.
"Where's Sebastian?" Nick asks abruptly.
"I don't know, haven't talked to him since Wednesday."
Nick seems suddenly uncomfortable, and drops his gaze to his hands as he speaks.
"You know, the smartest person I know told me once that you and Sebastian were like a current of water, I didn't understood at the moment, but I get it now, you two could move mountains, as long as you move in the same direction." He looks up at Hunter and smiles slightly. "I knew it the moment Sebastian told us to write a letter to the school board so you wouldn't get expelled."
"It was Sebastian's idea." Hunter almost chokes.
Nick nods and stands up, heading to the door.
"I don't know what went wrong with the two of you, but for the sake of all of us, be the better man and fix it."
Hunter stands up, very straight, and smiles.
"Will do, Captain, my Captain."
Nick laughs, and shoots him the widest smile before turning to leave. Then he opens the door, and a drunken Sebastian stumbles inside and falls face first on the floor.