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6. Be still, I already know. Part 2


It stings. It drives through his chest and into his heart, and the blood splashes against his lungs and he finds himself, for a second, unable to breathe.

He has never felt anything like this before.

Sebastian is smiling. No, not smiling, he's laughing. His eyes are sparkling, the most beautiful shade of green, and the freckles on his nose are dancing, and his lips are curved in the most delicious kind of joyful grin.

And it's all because of the boy standing next to him.

Hunter spins around, walks past the Warblers, who keep arguing with Ren about all the reasons why he should join, and almost stumbles down the stairs on his way to de door. He walks blindly through the mass of dancing bodies, keeping a straight line and pushing aside anyone who dares stand in his way.

And then it's Sebastian who's standing before him, blocking his path, eyes wide and mouth slightly open and a thousand unsaid words hanging from his lips.

"Hunt..."

"You seem to be having fun." Hunter cuts him off, voice flat and monotone.

Something flashes across Sebastian's eyes, something like hurt, and anger, and frustration, and a whole lot of things Hunter has no patience to even try to read.

"I am, actually. Blaine here is a surprisingly fun partner in crime."

Hunter's eyes land on Blaine, and he sees that the other boy is watching him, big, puppy eyes boring into him filled with pain and regret, and for the first time Hunter's completely aware of each one of the little marks that are still scattered across his face; the black eye that's still not completely healed, the small, vertical cut that now scars his lower lip, the slightly green, swollen cheekbone...

"Don't you dare pity me." He barks, voice low and full of venom, as he walks past them and out of the bar.

Sebastian stares at Hunter's back as he retreats, and his chest tightens to the point where breathing becomes almost hurtful, and the air burns all the way from his nose to his lungs.

"You haven't talked to him." Blaine whispers, next to him.

"I've talked too much." Sebastian scoffs.

Blaine looks at him and smiles, a sad, hopeful smile that Sebastian has never seen directed to him.

"He looked at you that way, you know? Like you were his beginning of the night."

Sebastian sighs, and realizes that he already knows.

The Warblers spot Sebastian when they've almost reached the bar, and he finds himself suddenly surrounded by laughing boys in the middle of what seems to be a wave of sugar rush.

"God Seb you should have seen it!" Jeff screams, launching himself to him and bursting with laughter. "We were amazing, we were, we were...we are SO back!"

Thad appears beside him, laughing, and Sebastian can see that something has changed, it's clear in their eyes, and in the way they move, and in the way they hold their heads, even in the way they speak. Something is so undeniably different, that he can't help but wonder what happened, that kind of thing could change so many people in such a little time.

"Sebastian!" A girl calls for him from behind the bar. "What took you so long, sugar?"

He untangles himself from Jeff and turns to Molly, who's already serving him a shot of tequila.

"Your friends here sung with Ren, you missed it, it was pure magic, swear to God."

Sebastian has seen Ren sing before, so he knows, and now he understands.

"I can imagine." He says, as he approaches the bar, only to realize that Blaine isn't following. "You coming, killer?" He asks, turning to look at him, but Blaine is standing where he left him, looking scared and helpless between the mass of people.

Sebastian walks up to him, tries to follow his eyes, and realizes that Blaine is staring at the Warblers, his eyes travel from Nick to Jeff to Thad to Flint like he's going to burst into flames if they see him.

"They don't blame you, Anderson." Sebastian whispers.

Blaine nods, but he doesn't look convinced.

Then Thad turns to them, and freezes, then Jeff, then Flint, then Nick, and Blaine is confronted with the part of him he left behind.

Sebastian takes a step back and walks to the bar, knowing fully well that this could be the most important moment in Blaine's road to recovery.

When Blaine left the Warblers Nick was pissed, just like the rest of them, and maybe a little more, because he was there when Blaine was just a scared, trembling mess, because he was the one who took his hand and led him to the rehearsal room for the first time, because he was there through every nightmare and every afternoon spent hiding in the bathroom, so yeah, he was pissed, he was hurt, and he felt betrayed. But now, looking at him, he sees that same boy, he sees that same sad eyes and trembling hands, and scared look, and the only thing he feels, is anger, but not against Blaine. He crosses the distance that separates them with big strides, and realizes that he's angry at whoever did this to him, at whoever took everything they had patched up with so much care, and broke it again.

He stands in front of the boy he knows he should blame, because he has so many things to blame him for, but Blaine is looking at him with the saddest eyes, and Nick is already way past blaming him. So he grabs him by the shoulders, pulls him to him, and gives him a hug.
Blaine hugs back almost instantly, grasping the back of Nick's shirt until his knuckles go white, and he realizes for the first time just how tired he is of feeling guilty all the time.

"I'm so sorry." He whispers. "I missed you so much."

And Nick only hugs him tighter and whispers.

"We were always here."

.

Sebastian knows nothing about love, or friendship, or loyalty. He's never understood the looks, or the smiles, or the need to belong. He's always been happy being alone, he's never needed anyone. But suddenly, staring at the four Warblers surround Blaine, watching their smiles, their unadulterated joy, he realizes that he does understand, that he doesn't need to be alone, he doesn't want to, and even if he did, he doesn't have a choice.

He's stuck with these guys wether he likes it or not. He decides with a pride he's never felt before, that things could be worse.

"You see that?" He says to Molly, as he drowns his shot of tequila. "Those guys are my friends, who would have thought."

"Maybe you deserve them." She says, with a laugh.

"Maybe."

Molly laughs and gestures to a guy that's approaching them, and serves two more shot glasses.

"That's the guy who made the miracle happen."

Sebastian turns to his side, and it's faced with the smiling face of the boy he's only seen before on stage.

"So you're Ren." He says, lifting a shot glass. "Kudos to you, you seem to have made an impression."

Ren laughs, takes his shot of tequila, and clinks it against Sebastian's.

"They're awesome, your friends."

"Join us then." Sebastian offers, drowning his shot. "We're Dalton royalty, you should be honoured."

Ren takes a deep breath and passes a hand through his hair.

"I'm a Texas boy." He sighs. "Singin' country is in my blood, but show choir?" He shakes his head and smiles sadly. "Texas guys don't do show choir."

Sebastian remembers Hunter sitting on the floor, empty vodka bottle in hand, face all purple and bloodied, and soft, sad whisper.

"I'm a military kid, Seb, there are things we're just not allowed to do. Things we're not allowed to be. And that's the way it is."

And Sebastian understands. At that very second, he understands everything.

"Look, Ren. There's something very important I need to do right now, but I'll tell you this." He shots him his best Smythe smirk. "Come to the choir room on Monday afternoon, at five, and I'll show you that what we're offering is so much more than just show choir."

.

He throws books, knocks over desks, crashes his lamp against the wall, and maybe breaks Sebastian's, too, he's not really counting, he's not really paying attention, and he's just breaking things, like he's always done when he's angry. He's used to this, he should be, he's used to being angry, he's used to the rage that burns and freezes his insides until he's scalding, and he sees nothing, and he feels nothing but rage.

Then the door opens, and there's Sebastian standing there, looking at him, and Hunter stops; breathing hard, almost out of air, vision blurred, hands shaking.

"I understand." Sebastian says, looking at him, really looking at him. "I understand. I didn't, but I do now. You...you don't need to say anything, it's ok, everything is ok, we'll work it out."

Sebastian's eyes are so green, so green, and for a second, it's the only thing Hunter sees, and the only thing he cares about.

"How can you understand?" He murmurs, taking a step towards the other boy. "How can you possibly know? You don't care! You don't give a fuck!"

Sebastian is silent for a second, then walks up to Hunter and pushes him roughly against the wall.

"I-fucking-care." He hisses. "There's no other in the world that cares more than I do." His eyes soften, his lips start to tremble, and he leans his forehead against Hunter's as softly as he can. "I care so much, its killing me."

And then they're kissing, rough and hard and hot, mouths fighting to say with bites what they cannot say with words.

Hunter pushes him back and switches their positions, until it's Sebastian's the one pinned against the wall, and Hunter's all over him, hands gripping his hips and pelvis pressed flush against his, moving slowly as they create the most perfect friction.

They move against each other, mouths everywhere, hands everywhere, until they fall to the bed in a tangle of arms and limbs and demanding lips.

Sebastian gives in, lets Hunter take control, moves when the other boy moves, and pushes when the other boy pushes, but his moves are firm and steady, hurried, but with no rush. He's ready to let his body speak for him, for his lips and his arms find all the words he doesn't have, and maybe, just maybe, he hopes that Hunter will understand.

"I know." Hunter whispers, hot breath caressing Sebastian's earlobe. "I already know."

Hunter grabs his face then, so very softly, and Sebastian can sense all the strength he's holding back, and he can see it in his eyes, all those words neither of them ever learned, but they don't really need them.

They're not people of words, they're people of action, but at this very moment, they both stand very still, tangled in each other, breathing each other's air, listening to each other's silence.

"It's killing me, too." Hunter whispers. "But you stop me from dying."

And then they're kissing again.