Raph loves these moments when he can spend time with April without raising any suspicions. When he can be close to her, even talk to her without thinking about what he can say and what he can't. Without having to think about if what he says sounds neutral or annoyed or angry enough.

These moments pretty much only happen during training. When he tells April what she should do. When he corrects her. When he shows her how it's really done.

Okay, granted, sometimes he does show off, just a little, but hey, why not? He is the best fighter around here, so a little showing off is more than okay, isn't it? Especially if it brings him some admiring glances from April.

Although he has to admit, he isn't sure they really are admiring. Maybe she's just looking at him. But that's fine, too. He just likes to think that there is some admiration in her eyes.

He even likes sparring with her, although it means he has to hurt her. But that's okay. It helps her getting stronger.

And there's nothing wrong with getting stronger. On the contrary, it's good. It's important.

And if it gets April to look at him, that's even better.

The look April had in her eyes today was so full of strength, so full of determination, Raph was even a bit proud of himself. And he was proud of April!

And then April hit him. He didn't see that one coming. Not at all. Maybe, just maybe, he was a little distracted by the sparkle in her eyes. Which shouldn't have happened.

He's a fighter, he's a ninja! Some beautiful blue eyes shouldn't distract him. No matter how beautiful they are. Which in April's case of course are the most beautiful blue eyes there are.

He still can feel where April's fist impacted with his jaw. He rubs over the spot every once in a while with his fingers. Maybe a bit more often than that. Not because it still hurts. It doesn't. It didn't hurt long.

No, he does it because it makes him remember the strength, the determination, the sparkle in April's eyes. And whenever he thinks about it, his heart starts beating a bit faster and a warm feeling spreads in his body.

All of that is okay, all of that, he can handle.

The problem is that every time he touches the spot where April hit him, every time he remembers the sparkle in April's eyes, his mouth threatens to turn into a smile. And that is something he just cannot let happen.

It's hard, but he manages to keep the corners of his mouth down. Well, for as long, as April isn't too close to him. But during dinner, Raph finds that somehow his eyes are drawn towards April, even more than usual. And what is even worse is that now he remembers the sparkle in April's eyes even without touching his jaw.

He somehow makes it through dinner, although Mikey and Casey keep making fun of him because April managed to hit him during training today. But that's okay. It gives him a reason to get angry and to shout at them. It even gives him a chance to leave dinner early. He just lets out a frustrated groan and stomps out of the room.

For a moment, he even thinks of going to the bathroom and watch over Leo, but something tells him that this isn't going to work today.

So he takes another path, opens a window and climbs out on the roof. There he lies down and stares into the sky, only touching his jaw every once in a while.

He has no idea how long is up there on the roof. He only realizes that the sky turns darker and darker until he ends up staring into the night sky.

"There you are!" a voice suddenly calls and when he turns his head he sets eyes on Casey, poking his head out of the window in the attic.

"Yeah," Raph replies with shrug as he turns his head away from Casey again to stare into the night sky. "Here I am."

"Just wanted to tell you, we're starting a Crognard-marathon in five minutes. Wanna join?"

"Nope," Raph says.

"Oh, come on!" Casey says and Raph doesn't miss the annoyance in his voice. "Don't be a jerk! Just because Red landed a blow on you today?!"

"Who said that's the reason?" Raph replies.

"Isn't it?"

Raph shrugs again. "Who knows?"

"But-" Casey breaks off and lets out a frustrated groan. "Whatever!"

And the next thing Raph hears is how the window is closed.

He takes a deep breath, touches his jaw again and lets his thoughts drift towards April.

Then the window is opened again.

"For heaven's sake, Casey! I said I don't want to watch Crognard!" he calls out.

But when he turns his head, it's not Casey who's looking out of the window. It's April.

"Oh, s-," Raph begins, but he can stop himself just in time.

"Oh, so it's you," he adds, trying really hard to make his voice sound annoyed.

"Yeah," April replies. "It's me."

And then the teenage girl does something that makes Raph's heart skip a beat. She climbs out on the roof and moves over to him.

Out of reflex, Raph sits up, his eyes wide.

Nonono, he thinks. Stay away!

But because he's only thinking it, because he can't say it out loud, April moves closer. Then she settles down next to him, and Raph's heart is thumping in his chest so loudly, he's afraid April might hear it.

Just in time, he remembers that he's still looking at her, so he forces his eyes away, wrinkling his forehead into a deep frown.

"What do you want?" he asks, hating the fact that he has to sound so angry, although he really enjoys having April this close to him. Okay, he loves and hates having April so close, loves it because it's April and hates it because he just shouldn't enjoy it. Not even a bit.

April lowers her eyes and bites down on her lower lip, he can see it from the corner of his eye.

"I'm sorry," she says. "If I had known that it'd upset you so much, I wouldn't have hit you during training."

What? Raph can't believe what he's hearing. April's sorry? She shouldn't be! No, not at all! She should be proud, just as proud as he is! She's getting stronger, that's so amazing! Why would she even think that…

And then it hits him. Of course April is thinking that he's acting so weird because she hit him, not because of his true feelings. She doesn't know about them. She never will.

April raises her gaze to look at him. "I'm sorry, Raph!"

"Don't be!" Raph says and before he can stop himself, he puts a hand on April's shoulder. The moment his hand touches her, it sends a warm wave through his body - and a little pang to his heart. Because he shouldn't be doing this.

But it'd be weird to take his hand away again immediately, so he keeps it there.

"You-" He breaks off because his voice sounded way too hoarse, so he clears his throat and tries again. "You're getting stronger. That's great!"

"But you-" April begins, but he doesn't let her finish.

"It's just hurt pride," he cuts in. "Don't even think about it."

April looks at him, her eyes a bit wide, and then he does something he's never done before, something he's never dared to do. He smiles at her.

And then the most amazing thing happens. April returns the smile.

Raph's heart picks up even more speed, but he ignores it. What he can't ignore, though, is the warm feeling spreading through his body, the urge to lean in closer, the need to not only touch her shoulder.

It makes the alarm bells ring in his head.

He gives her shoulder a quick squeeze before he removes his hand.

"Now go watch some Crognard with the others," he says.

"What about you?" April asks.

"I…" Raph wracks his brain for what to say. "I need to lick my wounds for a bit longer. But no worries, I'll be okay."

"Okay," April says, and Raph is relieved to see that she gets ready to leave.

But all of a sudden, April wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him into a quick embrace.

"Thank you, Raph!" she says.

"You're … welcome," he manages to say, although it's hard to form words.

And then April lets go of him, smiles at him and leaves.

Raph watches her climb back inside, fighting down the urge to call after her and say what he can never tell her.

That he doesn't want her to leave.