Raph didn't mean to watch them. He didn't mean to eavesdrop. It just happened.

He's standing at the window, and it's just a coincidence that he can watch April chopping wood from there. Yes, just a coincidence.

And then Donnie shows up, and Raph thinks of retreating. He doesn't, though, and it's the right decision.

Because then, Donnie speaks up. He tells April that he finally understands, that he gets it now.

"I am just a mutant," that's what Donnie says, and Raph lets out the breath he's been holding in a sigh of relief.

Okay, the miserable look on Donnie's face when he says that hurts Raph a little, but he's used to seeing a hurt Donnie. He even has to hurt him himself sometimes.

Like a few days ago when Donnie made a music box for April. A music box! Raph didn't like that, he didn't like that Donnie was putting all this effort into something that was bound to fail right from the start.

And so he gave Donnie another reality check. Donnie was still hurt from April's reaction, and then Raph had to hurt him even more by telling him the obvious. Again.

That hurt Raph, but he didn't show it. He hid it, he hid it well. He's really good at it now.

What bothers him a bit is that it took a Bigfoot, a crazy-about-Donnie Bigfoot to make his brother understand. But he can live with that. At least Donnie gets it now. He has no chance with April. That's good.

Raph is about to retreat from his post at the window, he's already moving, but he stops when he hears April's words.

"You're not just a mutant, Donnie," she says, and Raph moves a bit closer to the window to have a better look.

"You're my mutant," April goes on.

And then she moves closer to Donnie. It takes Raph a while to understand what she is going for, but when he does, he freezes. He watches how April moves her lips closer and closer to Donnie's. Every inch hurts Raph, more and more the closer she gets. And then she presses a kiss on Donnie's lips, a sweet, gentle kiss. The longer it lasts the more Raph tenses up, the more he wants to scream. But he fights it down.

And then it's over and April pulls away. When she turns around and walks back to the house, she has such a pleased look on her face that Raph wants to punch the wall.

He can finally draw his eyes away from the scene, he can finally move away. And he does. Quickly. He simply darts out of the house and starts running towards the woods. And he keeps running until he can't anymore because the pain gets the best of him and he sinks to his knees in the middle of the woods. It feels like his heart is breaking, it feels like shard after shard chips off his heart and cuts into his flesh.

He hates it. He should be happy for Donnie. His dreams finally came true! April doesn't care that he's a mutant, and she probably loves him. Donnie must be jumping around in pure joy right now, and Raph should join him. Okay, maybe not join him, but watch him with a shake of his head and a disbelieving laugh.

Instead, Raph is digging his fingers into the ground in the middle of the woods. When he finally manages to get up, Raph starts punching trees over and over, until his knuckles are bruised and hurting. But that's fine. At least now it's not only his heart that is hurting.

He's sweating and out of breath, and he's hurting. And because he doesn't know what else to do he starts out for the farmhouse.

When he comes closer to the farmhouse he sets eyes on a familiar redhead standing on the porch and looking into his direction.

Now that's just great! Raph thinks. Just my luck that April is the first person I see after this.

And not only that. When April sets eyes on him, she comes down the porch and goes to meet him. It makes Raph twist his mouth.

"There you are!" April calls out, and Raph hates the fact that she's smiling. Her smile, her beautiful smile is just too much for him to handle right now. "We're doing another Crognard-marathon, but no one could find you."

He could say now that he was out for a run, that it was a short-notice decision, so short-notice that he forgot to tell anyone.

"I saw you," he says instead. "You and Donnie."

April's eyes widen. "Oh."

"So, you're together now?" he asks.

April casts her eyes down, shaking her head a little.

"No," she replies. "No, we aren't."

Somehow, this makes Raph angry. And a bit happy. Maybe a bit more than it should. He concentrates on the angry, though.

"Then what was this all about, the… the kiss and all? What was it about, April?"

He doesn't know if that was angry enough, but he hopes so. He sees April biting down on her lower lip, and that's good. Because it's a sign that she's uncomfortable.

"I don't know," she whispers.

"What?" Raph asks.

April yanks her head up.

"I don't know, okay!?" she calls out. "I was just… I don't know!"

"Then what do you know, April!?"

Okay, that sounded even angrier than he intended, but that's okay. There can never be enough angry.

April bites down on her lower lip even more. And stays silent, casting her eyes down.

"April!"

"I know that I don't want Donnie to give up on me," she finally says, and yes, this should make Raph happy again, happy for Donnie, but it doesn't.

"Why not?" he asks, not as angry, but there's still a warning ring to his voice.

April sighs. "Because it's the only normal thing in my life."

What?

Raph tries to makes sense of what he's hearing. But he can't. It only confuses him, like, a lot.

"What do you mean, it's the only normal thing in your life?" he asks.

"That's what girls my age are supposed to have in their life, a boy who crushes on them. They should be talking about makeup and music and, well, crushes. They shouldn't be hiding somewhere with their mutant friends and figure out how to save a city, a whole planet. They shouldn't have psychic powers and be half a mutant themselves. They should only be… normal, you know."

Now Raph understands. And it makes the anger rise in his chest.

"So you're using Donnie because he makes you feel normal?"

"No, of course not!" April replies. "Well, not just. I like him, Raph, I really do, I just don't know if it's enough."

"You should know, April! For heaven's sake, you have to know! This is Donnie we're talking about!"

"But-"

He doesn't let her finish.

"Figure this out, April!" he tells her. "Like, right now!"

April only casts her eyes down.

Raph doesn't know why, but he puts a hand on April's shoulder and she looks up at him.

"Figure this out," he says, and it sounds way too gentle for his taste. But he can't change that now.

April only nods, and Raph replies with a nod of his own, Then he takes his hand away from her shoulder and walks inside to watch some Crognard.

He doesn't know what to think of April's revelation. He only know he loves and hates it at the same time.

He loves it because Donnie still has a chance. And he hates it because, well, Donnie still has a chance.