The Lies We Tell
Summary: It is of no surprise to anybody that the Doctor lies, it is after all 'Rule No. 1', however, a lying companion is not as often known and the lies that Clara and the Doctor tell may just be the end of it all.
It is a well known fact that the Doctor lies. In fact, said little statement happens to be Rule No. 1, therefore it should come as no surprise that he does. Nonetheless, for all his years and lives and faces and age, the Doctor is quite sure he has never lied half as much as he has done with this face. And really, from the very beginning it's all lies.
"Oh, you remember, er. Thingy. The, er, the not-me one. The asking questions one. Names not my area."
"Clara."
"Well, it might be Clara. Might not be. It's a lottery."
"It is Clara."
"Well, I'm not ruling it out."
(He'd lied then. About not knowing her, not remembering her. Because how could he forget her. He was not even the bow tie clad, silly young Doctor anymore, the Man Who Forgets, yet so ironically could not forget her. He would never be able to forget the one constant in his life, the companion that eternally moved with him, that he had known even before meeting the Tardis, his only other constant. And, form there, really, the lies just poured out so easily.)
"I'm not your boyfriend."...
"Oh, my God. Oh, my God! It is, isn't it? You found him. You actually found Robin Hood." Clara gives out a very girlish giggle.
"That is not Robin Hood." The Doctor grumbled sourly...
"Robing a bank, robing a whole bank, beat that for a date." ...
"Oh, and now it begins. Doctor, I do believe you're on call. Miss Oswald expects. Who else but the girl who's got your number? Whoops!"
"It was you! " the Doctor wailed out. He remembered answering the phone and hearing Clara's voice.
"Ah, hello."
"Where did you get this number?" The Doctor asked pulling at his robes collar, floppy brown hair obscuring the sight of grey-green eyes.
"The woman in the shop wrote it down. It's a helpline, isn't it?"
"Computer helpline, love. That's the one. Best helpline in the universe."
"You put us together."
"I kept you together."
"Who put that advert in the paper? "
"Who gave you my number?"
"The woman. The woman in the shop."
"Then there's a woman out there who's very keen that we stay together."
"Why?"
"Cos she's perfect, innit? The control freak and the man who should never be controlled. You'd go to hell if she asked. And she would. The phone's ringing, Doctor. Can you hear that? Now that is the sound of your chain being yanked. Heel, Doctor! (as Clara) Help me, Doctor. Help me. Help me, Doctor."
The Doctor answered the phone, unable to stop himself from answering when Clara called even if doing so was giving into Missy as well. "Clara?"
(Oh, how terribly he had lied then. He was hers, always had been, always would be, and he hated the attention other men gave. From Robin Hood to P.E. he was a jealous, old man. She was supposed to always be his, to remain his forever and ever, just like she had been eternally his for over two thousand years of time and space and life and pain and adventures and everything, from start to end. And he hated to admit, give Missy, or was it the Mistress or the Master, he really didn't know at this point, leeway to being right. He loved her, would do anything for her, even lie. Especially lie.)
"I don't think that I'm a hugging person now."
"I'm not sure you get a vote."
"No, no. Not the hugging. No, no, no. I'm against the hugging. Please."
(And oh, how he had lied about the physical contact, the hugging. Because really, at the end of the day, at the end of the line he couldn't fully keep himself from her. He had reached for her hand, held t tight. He had hugged her, had never wished to let go, adored the feeling of her in his arms, loved the way all of her fit just as perfectly in this new body of his as it had done with the old one.)
"How do I look? "
"Sort of short and round-ish, but with a good personality, which is the main thing."
(He could easily remember back when he had a younger face and a ridiculous chin and a silly bow tie and she had asked a similar question and he had lied. He'd lied then he was doing so now. She was bossy, yes, but she was not too short nor was her nose too funny, in fact, she adored those traits of hers. It was does traits and her beautiful, big, brown eyes that always captivated him, always made him think twice, always made him nicer and kinder and more compassionate. It was because of it that "she's perfect. Perfect in every way for me... Except she can't remember that we ever met. Clara. My Clara. Always brave, always funny, always exactly what I need. Perfect. Too perfect." So perfect that Missy was right, she would be his demise.)
And then, time proceeded, it all got bigger, grander, larger, all too much to handle. Danny Pink died, Clara betrayed him, the Master returned, and in the end, as they said goodbye, he gave her one last lie...
"I've found Gallifrey... I entered the coordinates, just like she said. And I found Gallifrey. For once, she wasn't lying."
(He had to do so, to let her go, save her. She had always saved him, always been there, a constant, and it was time to let her go. Let her be happy.)
... and finally at the very end, he gave one last truth, or at least a grain of one.
"Doctor? Travelling with you made me feel really special. Thank you for that. Thank you for making me feel special."
"Thank you for exactly the same."
Every companion knew that the Doctor lied and some new that the Doctor could change, however there was no companion that knew this statement half as well as when Clara Oswald. And it was because of this reason, of her being Clara and knowing all there was to know about the Doctor that she knew there was no other companion that lied and changed as the Doctor does, as she had done. And it all started with a change and a few easy lies that grew to be so much more.
"Clara, I'm not your boyfriend."
"I never thought you were."
"I never said it was your mistake."
(She'd lied with such ease. Oh, it was so much easier to lie to this face, the one that looked nothing like that of the silly man-child she had fallen in love with, the man she still loved. But oh, his confession, how it hurt, so she lied. Lied to feel better, to try and save face, like the control freak with the stupid, stubborn pride that had lost her the man she loved, that was losing the man she loved.)
"What if there was nothing? What if there never was anything? Nothing under the bed, nothing at the door. What if the big bad Time Lord doesn't want to admit he's just afraid of the dark."
"Where are we? Have we moved? Where have we landed?"
"Don't look where we are. Take off, and promise me you will never look where we've been."
(The Doctor had changed and she was changing alongside him, lying, keeping secrets, becoming so much like him. She lied and kept secrets to protect him, but she didn't stop there. She lied to him about Danny and to Danny about him, she became an expert at double crossing the men in her life.)
"He's my boyfriend. I thought you'd figured this out."
"Him?... But he's a PE teacher. You wouldn't go out with a PE teacher. It's a mistake. You've made a boyfriend error."
"You're a soldier. Why would you go out with a soldier? Why not get a dog or a big plant?"
"Because I love him!"
(First double crossing and with such ease. She's becoming an expert and fast, only took her five years [and multiple life times as echoes], half the time the Ponds have to get to know him.)
"Oh, it's a roller coaster with you tonight, isn't it? What about the handsome one, the one with the bow tie?"
"Who? Adrian? No, no, no. He's just a friend and not my type".
(The tally grows, because oh, what an enormous lie. Bow ties, fluffy hair, and grey-green eyes on a silly man is definitely her type, but so is gravity defying hair, leather jackets, long scarves, cricket outfits, gruff looks, grumpy faces, grey hair, and anything else this impossible man has ever had about himself.)
"So, there's an alien, that used to look like Adrian. Then he turned into a Scottish caretaker and every now and then, when I'm not looking, you elope with him."
"I don't elope."
"Do you love him? "
"No. "
"Really had enough of the lies."
"Not in that way."
"What other way is there? "
"You know what I mean."
"I don't know what you mean. I know what you tell me, which isn't always the truth. Why do you do it? Why do you fly off in the box with him? The truth. Please, just this once."
"Because it's amazing. Because I see wonders."
"Yep. Mission accomplished. Listen, I can't talk now but I'll see you soon and, er, I love you." She lied into the phone, telling Danny the words meant for the Doctor, the man she had her eyes on. Literally.
"I love you, too." Danny answered.
"Was that Danny? What did he want?"
"He's fine with it."
"Sorry, I..." the Doctor stuttered confused.
"Danny. He's fine with the idea of me and you knocking about. It was his idea that we stop but, he's decided he doesn't mind and neither do I. Oh, to hell with the last hurrah. Let's keep going." she lied with ease, it was what she wanted, her Doctor, and she would get it no matter what.
"That's a big change of heart."
"Yeah, they happen."
"Seriously?" he lit up completely and her heart soared.
"Look, as long as you get me home safe and on time, everything is great. I am so sorry. I've had a wobble. It's a big wobble, but it's fine. Forget about it. Now, shut up and give me some planets."
(But really, it was a miracle she was able to convince him of her lies being true. Of making them believe they knew who she loved. Of the other being okay with her caring for them both. But they were both catching on, really, and she would have to get better at it. At lying, at keeping secrets, at being the Doctor when he couldn't.)
"I'm the Doctor."
"Don't you dare."
"Doctor Oswald."
"But you can call me Clara."
"'m Risby. So er, what are you a doctor of?"
"Of lies." The Doctor grumbled...he was catching on too well.
"Well, I'm usually quite vague about that."
"I think I just picked the title because it makes me sound important."
"Why, Doctor Oswald, you are hilarious."
(It was only a matter of time that the Doctor catched up completely, saw through her lies and her secrets and began to witness the changes she was well aware of but tried to ignore. Because she knew there could only be one Doctor and his companion and if she kept on going the way she was, it would all end up badly and go down in fire and pain and hurt and more lies.)
"Excellent lying, Doctor Oswald."
"Yeah? Well, thought it was pretty weak myself."
"I meant to me. You told me that Danny was okay with you being back on board the Tardis."
"Well, he is."
"Yeah, because he doesn't know anything about it."
"Doctor ..."
"Congratulations. Lying is a vital survival skill."
"Well, there you go."
"And a terrible habit."
...
"I just hope I can keep them all alive," she whispered.
"Ah, welcome to my world. So what's next, Doctor Clara?"
The reply was immediate, "Lie to them."
"What? "
"Lie to them. Give them hope. Tell them they're all going to be fine. Isn't that what you would do?"
(And yet, she could not stop, she kept on lying to everyone because it felt so good and easy now, to act like him. And she lied so much to everyone else, that she now lied to herself, convinced herself it was all fine and okay. She became so much like him. She became so good at it.)
"Come on, why can't you say it? I was the Doctor and I was good."
"You were an exceptional Doctor, Clara."
"Thank you."
"Goodness had nothing to do with it."
(But after that she was in too deep. She couldn't stop, not even when England grew a forest over night and Danny discovered the truth about her still ongoing adventures with the Doctor. So she kept it on, the lies, the deceit all of it to save the ones she loved. And she betrayed him only to fall back into being him, supporting him.)
"Oh, don't be so slow, it's embarrassing. Who could fool you like this? Who could hide right under your nose? Who could change their face any time they want? Hmm. You see, I'm not Clara Oswald. Clara Oswald has never existed."
"Identify."
"I'm the Doctor."
...
"Well, gentlemen. Where to start? I was born on the planet Gallifrey, in the constellation of Kasterborous. I'm a Time Lord, but my Prydonian privileges were revoked when I stole a time capsule and ran away. Currently pilot a Type 40 Tardis. I've been married four times, all deceased. My children and grandchildren are missing, and I assume, dead. I have a non-Gallifreyan daughter created via genetic transfer. How much more do you need? I'm the Doctor."
"This information is not proof. We require proof."
"How about my name?"
"Explain."
"Well, my name isn't Doctor, is it? I don't even really have a doctorate. Well, Glasgow University, but then I accidentally graduated in the wrong century, so technically ..."
"This information cannot be confirmed."
"You are Clara Oswald."
"Ah, no. I'm not!... Look, ask anybody who knows me. I am an incredible liar."
...
"You are not the Doctor."
"Of course I'm not the Doctor. I was lying to stay alive. But how do I know so much about him?"
"You are his associate."
"No, I'm not. I'm not his associate. I'm his best friend. Right now, his best friend, anywhere in the universe. Have you got any sort of Cyber-Internet in there because, really, you should look it up. Look up what happens to you if you harm me."
"Where is the Doctor?"
"What, you think I would give up the Doctor? Don't be daft. I would never, ever, give up the Doctor, because he is my best friend, too. He is the closest person to me in this whole world. He is the man I will always forgive, always trust. The one man I would never, ever lie to." She retorted hotly, the lie sipping through her lips with such an ease. She was an expert at it now, especially when it came to do so in order to save the Doctor and protect him.
(But it then end, it all burned down, they all burned down and she was left hurting, but she would save him one last time, lie to him to save him from pain.)
"Yeah. Me and Danny. Me and Danny, we are going to be fine. Don't you worry. You go home. Go home. Go be a king or something."
(And she said her goodbye, saved him from the pain, and got left behind once more, never to see him again... that is until it happened...)
"Stop, you are really Father Christmas... you are real?"
"Well, of course I'm real... how did you think you got those present every Christmas, magic?"
"Well, I thought my mum and..."
"... and dad..." the elves laughed outrageously.
"Okay, Clara Oswald... believed until the age of nine, why did you stop?" Father Christmas tutted at her.
"'Cause you're a fairytale. I grew out of fairytales."
"Ahh," St. Nick sighed, "Did you, Clara? Did you really?" He finished as the sound of the Tardis materializing was heard coming from behind her.
(And then it all happened, she saw him once more, in the flesh, living and breathing and just right in front of her. And she recalled an earlier conversation she had had with the Doctor: "When did you start believing in impossible heroes?" he'd asked her. "Don't you know? In a way, it's rather sweet." she' answered with such an ease. And she knew now, seeing him there, alive and well, that Father Christmas was right, she still believed, which only meant that she still hadn't stopped lying.)