The hours passed, and Sun still tossed and turned in bed.
Octavia's scent was gone. Replaced with the fruity scent of berries. Ruby had washed the sheets and made the bed. Her smell lingered there in passing, distantly ghosting over his bedding. He cursed to himself. Thoughts of what it should smell like pricked at his mind. Conflicted, he took a deep breath of Ruby's scent, signature to her, wholly and completely.
He found that it wasn't unpleasant to his nose. Distracting indeed, but something he could get used to. Worse still, he wanted to get used to it. The thought of that made him feel sick. As though he wasn't allowed to feel that way. All over again as a new wave of fresh guilt pummeled into him. Sun bit his lip to stifle the thought of seeking comfort in Ruby's scent.
It was wrong.
Completely, terribly, wrong. His throat felt scratchy, and he swallowed back the desire to go out into the main room, even as he muttered curses into his pillow.
It was going to be a long, long, night.
He had to make amends somehow, his heart was set on it.
When daylight came he found that Zhu was perched over the mangled loveseat that Ruby was sleeping on. The boy was quietly waiting for her to wake up. It made Sun swallow hard, knowing well that the inquisitive child would always do the same after waking up from an afternoon nap with Octavia. The striking comparison to Zhu's ruddy tresses only added to the scene.
If someone didn't know better, they could mistake the matter entirely. They might think Ruby to be his mother. Sun didn't want to think of that, and shoved it out of his mind.
He needed to focus. He needed to prove to Ruby that he appreciated everything she was doing for him. Even if he didn't understand why she put in the effort, he was more than grateful. He didn't know how express that, but he thought breakfast in bed would be a start. He wasn't like Ren, he couldn't work the same kind of magic with banana pancakes. Sun had tried to capture that same exact flavor, but he knew instantly that they would fall short.
The strawberry ones would too, and his ego deflated even further into the nothingness he often felt. Indifferently, he just thanked the fact that things weren't burned.
Plating the pancakes and placing the condiments on the try along with coffee, he made his way to the living area. Ruby slept curled up on the mangled loveseat in the corner of the room. It was old, it was ratty, and it was one of the first pieces of furniture Sun had ever purchased as a hunter-in-training. As a result it had more stains on it than Octavia or Weiss could scrub out of it, and they had both tried to no avail. Those same stains proved no match for Ruby years later.
It stood as total and complete proof that he enjoyed his years in training. In spite of its flaws, missing hunks of stuffing, and mismatched sewn patches aside, it was the most comfortable piece of furniture he had ever owned. So long as it continued to be that way, he had no intention of ever getting rid of it.
With a faint smile, he put the try on the end table and toyed with Ruby's bangs gently until she stirred. He said nothing as he eyes fluttered open. There was nothing to say in that moment. At least, nothing that would seem right, and so he left her with the breakfast he had prepared, hoping his actions could speak louder than his words.
It was only after Ruby had finally woken up, eaten, and washed up for the day that she broached the subject with Sun, seeing the conflict at war in his eyes. "I don't need anything, Sun. I just wanted to help a friend, that's all."
"There's got to be something though." Sun said as he tended the fire. "A man always repays his debts."
"I just want you to be happy again." Ruby told him. "I don't want to go back to the mansion and worry about whether or not you're staying clean." Ruby gave him a long look, seeing the exhaustion still in his features. He was getting better, slowly, but he was still far from alright. He stood on a slippery slope, and they both knew it. "I want you to get better. My uncle will be going back to Vale tomorrow, but I'll stay here as long as you need me."
"It would be an imposition." Sun said. "I'd be holding you back. You've got a mission to do."
"It's not an imposition to help a friend." Ruby said then. "You're right that I have my own work to return to. The mines won't inspect themselves, people's lives are at stake if Grimm start making homes in them unchecked. That's why if you want me to say, I need to know. I'm sure Weiss will be happy to send someone else."
Sun looked over to Zhu. "We'll be fine, Ruby."
"Can I really believe that?" She asked.
"I understand if you don't. I guess I'll just have to prove it to you." Sun said softly. "I meant what I say about paying you back somehow. If there's anything I can do, tell me. I will."
"Look after yourself, and whenever you're in a bad mood, don't drink." Ruby told him. "If you can manage to pull that off, it's repayment enough."
He cringed, but nodded. "I'll try."
"Don't try." She said. "Do. Prove to yourself that you can survive without drinking, and that will prove it to me. Sun, I need you to do that."
His eyes returned to the fire, watching it dance and turn, crackling softly behind the metal mesh containing the popping sparks. His thoughts bubbling within him.
Sun opened his eyes, sighing at great length as he looked at his wife's grave, all of the feelings from before no easier to bear.
It had only been a week, his mind still a slow crawl, nothing like the way it should be. He knew, of course, that time would be the thing to heal the wound, if it healed at all. Still he doubted it would be enough, and as reluctant as he was to say it, he was afraid of moving forward in his life. He had no choice, but that didn't settle his beating heart any less.
As he watched Zhu sniff the grave marker curiously, and painful throbbing squeezed his chest. He tried to look away, but he couldn't, so he continued to watch his son scamper around his mother's marker.
The young child didn't know any better, small fingers poking at the flowers made for the bitterly cold weather. He sniffed them too, as if trying to ascertain their reason for being laid out on the brick. He opened his mouth as if to bite them, only to close it. Then he sniffed them again. Returning his attention to the smooth stone with his mother's name engraved across it, he made small noises.
In time, Zhu would come to understand, but that time was not today, and Sun knew that.
The blonde haired man couldn't believe he was here, sitting in the cemetery. A handful of hours ago, if it was even that, he had outright snarled at the idea. Yet, unflinchingly, Ruby had insisted on it. So here he was, on his first proper outing, spending the day as if it was no big deal.
Beside him, Ruby sat, the same way she had since they arrived. She bowed her head, closed her eyes, taking in the peaceful solitude as it wafted over them. It was a rather humbling experience, truth be told.
"Well, that's that, then." Sun muttered between gritted teeth, trying to hold back any and all emotion from escaping his lips.
"Are you ready?" Ruby asked.
"I don't know." Sun murmured more to himself, than to the woman next to him. "Do you think I am?"
"No…" Ruby said after some thought. "I don't think you're ready to be alone, but I have to trust you. I have to give you a chance, and I need to go take care of that mission. Besides, Neptune will be back soon enough." She flicked her gaze to him. "If you don't think you can handle this, I'll stay here. There are other hunters Weiss can fly in. It might take some time, but the mining communities will understand."
"I thought you might say that…" Sun replied dejectedly. "I just don't want to be a burden, that's all. Besides, if there are Grimm up north, another group of hunters might not make it there in time. Your semblance is speed, you can make the trip easily. You know the way."
She gave him a look. "You know, I can stay here just as easily."
"Ruby." Sun smirked sadly. "You can't put your life on hold for me. It's like you said, you belong out there. You love it. For you, it's a whole way of life...you can't change that for me. I'd never force you to."
"You're right." She said softly. "It's the life I lead, but, I'll be back." Then she gently touched his arm. "And I want you to be clean when I come back."
"…and if I'm not?" He asked, suddenly sounding unsure, his voice thick, his words hard.
A world weary sigh escaped her. "Come here." She breathed, pulling him into a tight hug, nearly yanking him sideways into the snow, but the man in her arms couldn't be bothered to care. "Let me tell you a riddle my uncle once told me…are you listening?"
"Yes." He said just as softly, a wave of tiredness falling over him as he took a deep breath.
"An addicted man walks into a bar." She murmurs softer still. "There's a glass of whiskey on the table. He knows if he drinks it, he'll order more. When he does, he'll forget... even if it's just for just a few hours. If he doesn't drink, he'll sit there...and he'll think about every failure he's ever made. Either way, he'll wake up in the morning and nothing will have changed. Which is worse? Giving into his own vices entirely? Or failing to meet the expectations of those who need him most?"
AYangThang: Thank you all to have followed, favorited, and reviewed this short glimpse into the minds and hearts of Sun and Ruby within the "I Want" universe.
This concludes the side story of "I Want: One Week". As I've stated before, the couple can also be found as a side pairing in other stories such as "I Want a Cub" and another story soon to be released. Keep an eye on my profile for more information.
RedSun will also have their own full length story soon enough. The outline is in the works. Ruby/Sun will also feature in several other companion side stories as time moves forward detailing their budding relationship, Sun's relapse, his first journey with Ruby, and so on, and so forth. In any case, I hoped you enjoyed this little companion piece for what it was.
Until next time, everyone!