Introduction to Regulus
Even as the crowd of students began to disperse, Dumbledore's words lingered in Regulus' mind. He remained sitting before the abandoned stage, lost in thought, until he realized he was the only one left there. He had once again lost touch with the world around him and retreated to the realm of his own thoughts, even though he swore to himself he would stop doing that. But it was hard to stop the Headmasters warning from seeping in and arousing unwanted thoughts.
"Remember that all people are born equal, and are equal again as they face death."
No, he mustn't give in to these kind of thoughts. He can't allow himself to dwell on death when life expects so much from him these days.
With that thought in mind, Regulus took his school robe and began to walk toward the refreshment area; He was running late, and he knew his parents must be looking for him.
It seemed to be a verb that defines him – late. Sometimes it seemed to him that he was consistently late in every aspect of his life: His physical development was slow, he was always running late, and he always felt that he was the last to understand what was going on around him. He was even late to be born; If he had only preceded his older brother in their mother's womb, the famous tragedy would have been spared from his family.
Against the picturistic background of the castle and the blue summer sky, proud parents showered love and pride on their now adult children, and excited groups of students exchanged greetings and plans for the future. Regulus squinted like a mole under the blazing sun, the flashes of cameras and the smiles, and made his way through the crowd without attracting attention.
He noticed his family standing apart from the rest of the guests. Lucius Malfoy was having a a discussion with the DADA teacher, while Regulus' cousin, Narcissa, hung on his arm in mild, graceful boredom. His parents stood rigidly besides them, reluctantly honoring the audience with their prideful presence, not interacting with anyone nor with each other.
They didn't notice him, so Regulus took the opportunity to try to examine them from the eye of a stranger. He found himself looking at a pure- blooded couple whose sole purpose for getting married had been fulfilled, and were now living their lives in a bubble of insignificant traditions and prejudices. That point of view made him feel unwanted feelings, so he decided to move away and allow himself another short period of peace before he had to face them.
"Reg! Hey, Reg!"
Regulus recognized the voice. He stopped walking and waited for his brother to catch up with him, as if he were under a spell that wouldn't let him ignore the call.
Sirius tore himself away from a bustling event to talk to his brother, crossing the green grass with long, graceful strides. Regulus looked at him as he approached, thinking that this was where his brother truly belonged – a place full of eternal sunshine and smiling people.
They stood facing each other for a moment, none of them sure how to behave. Finally Regulus held out his hand. Sirius ignored the gesture and embraced him. Regulus stood still, waiting patiently for his brother to let him go. He had always been the physical one of the two; It was most prominently expressed in his warm and enthusiastic personality, which came in complete contrast to the moderate and quiet personality of his brother.
The two brothers both had the characteristics of the House of Black, yet they were different as two snowflakes. Sirius had wild gray eyes, like their mother's, a masculine jaw, a sturdy chest, and broad shoulders. Regulus, on the other hand, had a pair of almond shaped dark eyes, a thin face, pointed chin, small nose, and a narrow body. He was too thin and pale to be as attractive as his brother. He was almost seventeen, but looked about fifteen; When it came to appearances, it seemed that he had been condemned to eternal boyhood.
"I suppose this is goodbye?" Sirius might have been a Gryffindor, but he wasn't naive. Now that he had graduated, they would probably never see each other again.
"We certainly don't occupy that same social circles," Regulus confirmed.
Sirius gave him a crooked look. Regulus knew what he was going to say.
"Reg, you know you don't have to – "
"I chose my path, Sirius, and you chose yours. It's alright. One of us has to be the head of the family one day."
Sirius didn't seem pleased. Regulus knew he wouldn't give up on him without a fight. It was a worthless fight, but it still touched his heart.
"I know we've never been close, but I don't want us to be strangers. You're the only person in this family that I can stand." Sirius smiled. "You and I – we're actually not that different, aren't we? I know you don't really agree with all their Hippogriff shit..."
Regulus knew fate had destined them for different paths, so he said nothing.
"Reg... You're not... Bad. You're not like them."
"Your friends are waiting for you," Regulus said.
Sirius' eyes dimmed, as if they had been covered by gloomy clouds. His pride was hurt by his failed attempt at reconciliation, and he was disappointed. Regulus felt this disappointment like a thorn in his heel – a distant, penetrating pain.
"Whatever."
The word hung in the air even after Sirius turned his back and walked away. Regulus felt that the conversation had been full of unspoken words that should have been said but never would be. He felt a bitter sense of missed opportunity, something he felt on a regular basis in his life. On the other hand, knowing that he had done his brother an immense favor, he felt proud of himself, even if he would never receive gratitude for his service.
His parents were invited to tea with the head of the School Board. Regulus sat beside his mother obediently as the sweaty man tried to get them to donate money to school between random conversations about next year's curriculum and the bleak reality in their country.
"Not long ago wizards and witches in the countryside still felt safe to leave their doors open at night," the chairman said, tapping his shiny forehead with a soaked handkerchief between sips. "And today you would find that all the doors are bolted and reinforced by protective charms! People are terrified... Although that horrifying criminal hasn't shown his ugly face for a while, you know, you can't tell who's working for him and who's not... It could be anyone you meet on the street. I wonder – when did he manage to gather so many supporters without anyone noticing how strong he's become?"
Regulus' parents gave polite, intellectual answers, completely meaningless. Regulus recalled all the notes he had noticed being secretly passed among Slytherins in the bustling corridors, the enthusiastic conversation in the common room about the rightful place of wizards in the world, the quiet sounds of tapping feet in the dorms in the darkness of the night. The faith in the Dark Lord spread among the young students like an epidemic of sweet hallucinations. He didn't know how many years these boys and girls, born into a world where everything had already been decided for them, lay in their beds in the Slytherin dormitories and dreamed of freedom and power. He only knew that if he continued to live among the carriers of this dangerous and seductive viruses, he might soon catch it too.
After tea, Regulus' parents Flooed home and he followed them, glad to skip the tedious train ride to London. He walked lightly out of the green flames and found himself in the drawing room of Number 12 Grimmuld Place – his home.
His mother was already expessing her discontent when he entered. His father took the time as he unbuttoned his cloak and Regulus knew he wasn't listening to her,
"I very much hope for Signus that the match he had found for Bellatrix will be a success. Have you seen how she behaves, Orion? She needs a husband who would put her in her place and end her licentiousness. I still can't believe he dared to cancel her engagement with – "
"That's enough, Walburga," Mr. Black snapped with ire. He left his cloak on the couch for the house elf to handle and exited.
"Where are you going?"
"I have work to do."
After a few moments, Regulus heard the familiar echo of his study door slamming behind him.
Mrs. Black sat down on the couch and summoned her regular footstool to rest her feet. She adjusted her dress and then looked at Regulus, who was still standing in front of the fireplace, waiting for permission to go to his room.
"You have become a handsome young man, Regulus," she said with a soft banality that Regulus recognized as one of her unintelligible ways of showing affection. Regulus almost smiled at the gesture. "Soon we would have to find you a match. Of course, your cousins are out of the question, given the horrendous hypocrisy of their parents... But there is no need to worry. The moment we would declare that the heir to the House of Black is looking for a bride, dozens of young girls of suitable status will compete for the right to marry you. Doesn't that make you happy? Come here – I'm appalled that you allow yourself to be seen so unkempt in public..."
He sat down beside her on the couch and she began to straighten the collar of his shirt and his tie, which were perfectly straight and ironed and didn't require rearrangement.
"In a year's time you will graduate, and then take your place with your father in the management of family fortune. The fortune is only expected to grow in the light of the recent developments..."
Regulus knew that she was talking about the strengthening of the Dark Lord, and his agenda that was passed on by word of mouth among the pure- blood families, providing fertile ground for the delirium of power to spread. Everyone were sure that soon pure- bloods will assume their ancient place as the masters of the world.
"May I go?"
"Not yet. Call Kreacher to take your luggage upstairs, then help me remove this amulet."
Regulus did as she said. The family's ugly house elf appeared immediately at the call of his young master, and received the command with perfect obedience, his huge eyes glistening with tears of excitement as he grabbed the trunk and disappeared. Then Regulus stood behind the couch and opened his mother's giant silver amulet with careful and skillful fingers.
"On Thursday we are invited to Bellatrix's wedding," she chattered as her son continued to stand behind her. Regulus listened patiently, realizing how lonely this woman was. She really did love him, he knew; But like him, she simply didn't know how to translate what she felt into words. This kind of education wasn't given in the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.
"I ordered Kreacher to pick up a new dress robe for you. I'm sure it will suit you wonderfully. Do try to look nice – I think I will use the opportunity to announce that we're looking for a match. Also, Mr. Lestrange has influential friends in the Ministry and in... Other places. I want you to make a good impression. You can leave now, if you wish."
Regulus bent down and kissed his mother's powdered cheek. Then he left and she remained seated, as if the gesture hadn't taken place at all.
In his room, the house elf had lit the fire for him, and was in the process of arranging his belongings when Regulus came in. Carefully folded clothes moved like railroad cars and placed themselves in the proper drawers of his wardrobe while books whirled around the lamp in search of their place on the shelves. Kreacher navigated a carved wooden chest locked in a golden lock outside the trunk and slid it into it's place beneath the bed.
Regulus sat down on his bed with a pleasnt sense of ease, watching the house elf finish his work hastily but with precision.
"Kreacher is glad young Master is back home!" He declared excitedly, his voice creaky, smiling a ugly and happy smile. "Kreacher is very- very lonely when Master Regulus be at school... Master Regulus wants to eat? Or drink? Kreacher draw a bath – "
"A bath would be wonderful," Regulus said.
"Kreacher to check water! Kreacher to bring towels! Kreacher – " He dissapreared in the middle of the sentence.
Regulus approached the fireplace and warmed his constantly cold hands. In Number 12 Grimmuld Place the chill was a regular guest, and a vague sense of emptiness echoed in the vast rooms, among the old furniture. Yet Regulus was happy to come back home. He didn't know if he would ever be able to give up the sense of security that the place gave him, no matter how alienated it might have been sometimes.
Kreacher way delaying. Regulus assumed that he was making special efforts to make his Master's bathing an extraordinary experience, or that he had to fulfill a urgent order from one of Regulus' parents or from –
For a moment Regulus had forgotten that Sirius was no longer there to load the poor elf with useless tasks just to annoy him and the other residents.
Regulus went to the door and locked it. He knew that if one of his parents wished to enter they would have no difficulty to charm the lock, but at least it would buy him a few moments to conceal his crime. He crouched at the foot of the bed and dragged out the chest. Pointing his wand at the lock, he muttered the secret spell words silently. The lock opened, allowing him to see the secret contents of the chest.
It was full of books.
Seemingly they were no different then the books that now filled the shelves in Regulus' room. But the titles and names printed on them betrayed their true essence; Names such as Shakespeare, Allen Poe, Dickens, Nietzsche, and Dostoevsky were stamped on the elegant spine of leather-wrapped volumes. Regulus ran his hand lovingly over them, their words already engraved in his memory.
A single paperback was tucked in a gap between the neat volumes and the side of the box, standing out from the rest. Regulus took it gently and leafed through it, almost unable to wait until his parents retired to their beds and he could commune calmly with the beautiful wisdom between the pages.
Faust, the name was printed in plain black letters on the blank cover. Between the pages the lines of the play winked at him, the curve of the letters attracting him more than the sight of any girl.
It had been the first muggle work he had read, the one that pulled him into that magnificent world, unknown to him all his life. It was a play about a wise man who had been tempted by the Devil. It made Regulus understand, for the first time when he was fourteen, that even good men sometimes do bad things. It was comforting to know that no matter what he might have to do for his family, he may redeem himself in death.