Introduction to Severus

The graduation ceremony couldn't have ended quickly enough for Severus Snape. He studied his diploma as he walked along the edge of a cheerful group of his classmates and couldn't ignore the sourness the simple parchment aroused in him.

We hereby declare Severus Tobias Snape,

A graduate of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and a citizen of the Ministry of Magic of England,

A qualified Wizard, from this day and for all the days of his life.

At the bottom were the stylized signatures of Professor Dumbledore and the Minister of Magic.

That was it. For that miserable piece of parchment he had strived all these years, to go to Hogwarts, to be the best... Now, as all the students were walking together to the refreshment area, where they will all be together for the last time (thank Merlin), he didn't feel any sense of triumph or success.

He passed all his N.W.E.T.s with honors, after hours of diligence. He received a certificate which proves, without a doubt, that he is a wizard who is exercising his natural right. Yet he still walks alone on the sidelines, surrounded by strange laughter. He's still the grim-faced Snivellus Snape, only that now he's holding a stained parchment.

He left the other students behind, climbing the stairs to the castle. He was sweating in the blazing sun, the old, ugly robe he had acquired in a second-hand shop in Hogsmeade for the occasion weighing down on him and making him scratchy. He went straight to the dungeons, taking long, quick steps. He could scarcely remember saying the password and entering the common room, he only knew that he was alone in the seventh-year dormitory, and that the flames licking the parchment by his command were emitting thick black smoke.

He left the half-burnt parchment on the floor and took off the dress robe with violent, agitated gestures. He should have known not to look forward to that bloody day. Why did he think it would be different from any other day in his miserable life?

He put on his ragged daily clothes, took his trunk, and left the dormitory angrily, not bothering to give half a thought to the fact that it would be the last time he saw that room.

He appeared again in the hated summer sun. The gathering of students and parents was still at its peak. He was determined to get around it and be alone with his gloomy thoughts, so he walked firmly down the slope, his trunk trampling the grass as it hurried after him like a puppy.

"Snape!"

Severus turned toward the voice with a raised wand, ready to remove any unnecessary parasite from its tracks. Landon Avery walked toward him in catlike steps, still wearing his dress robe and hat, his Trained Wizard certificate rolled up in his hand. Severus concealed his wand with a quick, almost imperceptible movement.

"Where's the fire, Snape?" He asked, studying Severus with his blue narrow eyes. "The celebration here isn't over yet. Professor Slughorn is looking for you, you know?"

"I have to go," Severus said. "My mother is ill, and my father... Went out this morning. I have to go home to take care of her."

"Of course," said Avery with a grin, and Severus knew he didn't believe him. "I suppose Miss Prince will be too weak to attend the Annual Pure- Blood Ball this year as well?"

Severus didn't know exactly what had happened at the last Pure-Blood Ball that his mother went to, he only knew that the slightest mention of the event could have brought her to the brink of a nervous breakdown. And he knew something else – that Avery was mocking him shamelessly.

"Goodbye, Avery."

"One minute, Snape," said Avery, taking Severus by the arm with a quick movement. Severus looked at his hand, then looked at his face with a frown. "I have a suggestion that you might be interested to consider."

"Talk," Severus said impatiently.

"My father is looking for employees – you know, he's the head of the Department for International Magical Trade Standards, and he gave me a free hand to recommend everyone I see fit. And you, Snape – well, everyone knows you have the highest grades in Slytherin."

"I don't see how my knowledge of magic can help me write official letters," Severus said dismissively, pulling his arm out of Avery's grip.

He already had very clear plans for his future career; Research on ancient magic was a top priority, along with the Department of Mysteries. In the worst case, he would compromise on a career related to Astronomy or Potions, but he knew he would never stop pursuing the ancient and mysterious magic that really fascinated him. A clerical role in the Department for International Magical Trade Standards wasn't included anywhere on his list.

"If that's how you feel," said Avery with a shrug. "I know a dozen other wizards who would kill for this job... But here – in case you change your mind." He put a piece of parchment in Severus' hand. "Think about it. I'd like you to find a good job, one that matches your skills... After all, we're friends, eh?"

Severus looked for the lie in Avery's eyes as he shook his hand. They were full of different and unclear messages, and Severus wasn't sure whether he had found the spark of a lie, or had just imagined it out of an inability to believe that this person really wanted to help him. Avery and his group of friends were the only students Severus could tolerate through his school years, but they were far from being his friends.

Avery turned his back to him. "Think about it, Snape. And send my regards to Miss Prince."

Severus turned around and walked away without giving the other man a second thought. He crushed the piece of parchment and stuffed it into his pocket absently.

He Appearted to the backyard of his house, only to find himself drowning in waist- level grass. The fierce afternoon sun began to creep westward, casting an orange hue on the grayish- green stalks and the faint yellowish wildflowers that grew among them. The house remained exactly as he had left it on the first of September; A narrow house built from ugly red bricks with a brown tiled roof dotted with greenery and dents.

The back door was open, as always, and the small space of the kitchen and the door to Severus' room were entirely at the mercy of the dubious protection of the torn screen door. The second step that led to it was still broken, and Severus skipped over it.

The shutters in the kitchen were closed. As he entered Severus cast a long shadow on his father's limp body; he was laying on the floor face down, completely still. He passed over him as he had skipped over the broken step, perhaps with less interest, and went into his room.

He ordered the shutter to open with a wave of a wand, and the afternoon light poured into the dusty room. It remained unchanged; The peeling wallpaper on the walls, the lonely narrow window, the empty bookshelf, the unwinded clock on the nightstand, and the narrow bed with the iron plank where all still there. Severus sat down on the spongy mattress and ordered the contents of his trunk to arrange themselves in the room. Most of it was books; They stacked up in a high pile on the shelf and then piled on other surfaces in the room, for lack of additional shelves. Among the books was a brochure that Severus summoned to him.

The brochure presented a range of possible jobs at the Ministry of Magic, including the distinguished Morgana Magical Research Institute, which was funded by the Department of Mysteries. He skimmed over the various admission requirements and was proud to think that his excellent grades were about to open many doors for him.

He wasted no time and began writing requests for job interviews. When he finished, each of the half dozen requests attached itself to a copy of his grades sheet, placed itself in an envelope, and stacked on the table while he but on his only simple robe and prepared to go to Diagon Alley.

When he returned to Spinner's End after visiting the Diagon Alley post office the evening was descending, stretching a blue velvet sheet over the modest houses. From the river came the croaks of sad toads and crickets.

Severus stood for a moment in the darkness, completely still. He thought he could hear a hoarse yet soft voice calling his name among the water plants, rising from the cool water like a fog at dawn. He looked into the darkness, imagining shadowy figures in the wild vegetation...

A melodious laughter rang through the air. Severus felt a sudden yearning for the darkness by the river. Then the laughter was heard again – this time it awakened him from his ponderings and announced itself as real, not part of his dark dream.

On the other side of the street, two houses away, a light shone in the downstairs windows of a house. In the stillness of the sad town street, a female laughter wafted through the open window, brushing the whispering shadows away from the water. Severus' feet began to move towards it uncontrollably, like a moth drawn to a flame.

He wasn't sure what he was thinking to himself as he crossed the empty street. Maybe he thought that now, as adults, they could start over. Perhaps he felt he had to seize that opportunity to see her face, because he might not get another one. He walked around the house carefully, sneaking like a snake through the bushes, and knelt under the back kitchen window, which was open to the fresh night air. The laughter was rolling again, but this time Severus could hear a second, deeper laughter that accompanied the heavenly sound. It was so close he could almost touch it...

The back door opened. Severus straightened up, feeling caught, and found himself looking into Lily Evans' glowing face. The laughter died on her lips as soon as she spotted him on the doorstep.

"Severus," she started in surprise, straightening the strap of her purse on her shoulder. "We where just leaving... What are you doing here?"

James Potter appeared behind her, putting his hand on the door frame in a protective gesture. Severus ignored his presence, a habit he had adopted during their time in school, and spoke to Lily.

"I wanted to say goodbye," he said frankly, and then, to balance his honesty, lied – "I'm leaving Spinner's End soon."

Lily glanced at Potter. He made an attempt to hide his frown behind a look of disinterest and shrugged.

"Come in," she said to Severus.

"There's really no need," he said stiffly. He didn't feel comfortable speaking freely in Potter's presence, even if he wouldn't have another chance to say what he wanted to. "I don't want to keep you. I just wanted to say goodbye. You were... A good neighbor."

"I... You, too." Lily gave him a sad look; Severus wanted to believe that there was a little regret behind it.

Ever since they'd stopped being friends, Severus had spent a lot of time trying to convince himself that she was no longer the Lily he had known. His memory took him seven years back to that same back door. They are standing in the same places; He's a clumsy, thin boy wearing his father's old oversized clothes, she's a girl with scuffed knees in a grass-stained dress, with wild red hair, like a flame. Today, it seemed he hadn't changed at all; Still tall and thin, still with the same pale ugly face and overgrown black hair. But she – she had changed like night and day. Her red hair was neatly combed and styled, her lovely freckles were covered with light makeup, and she wore a feminine dress and high heels. And, of course, it was impossible to forget the main and inseparable addition to her new life – James Potter – whom Severus blamed for the sharp change in the wild joyful girl he had known, and for the fact that she was no longer part of his life.

"I heard about your mother," she said suddenly, looking uncomfortable. "I was very sorry to hear she had... About what had happened."

"It's all right," Severus said. He tried to catch her eyes, but she lowered them. He knew she felt disturbed at the thought of Elieen Snape drowning herself in the river. The river – where she and Severus used to play as children, when they were young and carefree, and had not yet heard about the cursed James Potter.

"So... I guess I'll see you around."

"Yes. See you."

Severus felt she wanted to say something more, but kept silent. Potter's presence seemed to weigh on both of them at that moment.

He moved to let the couple pass. He was surprised when Potter reached out his hand as he walked pass him. Severus shook it reluctantly.

"Good luck, Snape."

He joined Lily on the grass. She took his hand and they Appearted, leaving Severus alone on the doorstep. He could still smell her perfume – the girl who had been his only friend, and the only person he had ever loved.