I don't own OUAT. Thank you so much for the follows & favourites and everything. I appreciate it a lot

She is angry. Or rather, she is trying very desperately to be angry, because anger will allow her to be cold and disdainful to the blonde mena- the blonde, to Emma - to pull her walls up and have them be as thorny as possible. It is humiliating, how she can't speak because even swallowing hurts but all she wants is that anger to will protect her, and how she digs her fingers into her own skin because how dare you desire that anger. That anger is the evil queen's. That anger will hurt your family and it. is. WEAK.

Her sight is blurred, and every time she swallows it feels like she has to force several arrows down her throat. She wants to throw herself at something and have it hurt, for searching for that anger so desperately. You have friends, family. You should be grateful for that. You cannot be angry.

She isn't. Or rather- she isn't at who she wants to be. She is furious at herself- for wanting this in the first place, for daring to think happiness is still something she is allowed to strive for, for any of the thousand times she was weak, she doesn't even know- and she can only think how she keeps making the wrong choices, somehow. She thinks of the way Emma's muscles froze beneath her fingers - and hates herself when she can only think of the split-second those lips moved against her and her own lips started to pull up at the corners.

She isn't foolish: she knows what she feels for Emma. Some days, she can even appreciate it. Some days, she isn't furious with herself for how Emma's smiles can wreck her heartrate and how she feels breathless whenever they connect- magically, or just when they talk. Most days however, she is painfully aware of what she has done- of how Emma Swan deserves better than what she could ever be.

Unfortunately, knowing it doesn't protect her.

Fortunately, she doesn't see Emma for at least days after it happens. (and perhaps she further humiliates herself by sobbing into her pillow, and in an especially weak moment, she wakes hungover stares at a thankfully unsent message)

She is miserable and using all the skills learned from a mother like Cora, and a mentor like Rumplestiltskin to hide it. She thinks Henry might know ( he definitely suspect) and he is even smart and instinctual and caring enough to likely guess it has something to do with Emma. Especially since Emma has been trying very hard to avoid Regina, making excuses that ranged from "I've got work" to " I am looking for the creeps that kidnapped you" (she had never actually gotten to telling Emma just how she had arrived at the house in the midst of the forest) . And Henry is cross with her - as he had told her " I can't believe she is being like this, I am so sorry mom"- and even Snow is scolding her daughter - I am not mad Emma, I am just disappointed - like that wouldn't make Emma's longing to run worse.

Snow was family, but sometimes she still thought the woman was an idiot. Especially concerning her daughter, who happened to come from a very different background and logically wasn't always understood by her mother. However, Regina would've expected Snow to at least be able to work out that certain things trickered Emma. Like disappointing her family (it was undoubtly terrifying to the lost girl Emma used to be; disappointing a family must have once meant losing them again)

Things were tense in their family right now- and Regina felt horrible enough that she had barely left her house the past three days. Right until Henry had enough of it - " Mom. You are hardly a threat to the public good anymore. You've saved everyone at least three times, and most of the people kind of love you" - and she was coarced to leave the house by a mixture of Mill's slyness, Swan stubborness and Charming - well charming-ness.

Our son is a force of nature. But she smiled for the first time in days as she was pulled along by a chatting Henry, listening to his stories about lessons and superheroes and writing ideas with the easy, proud smile only he could pull from her. She tried to scold him, but instead laughed when he yelled a greeting at Ruby in the middle of his story, then gently pushed her down and continued talking. "so I told him he was dumb. Because it is wonderwoman, duh. So of course she would win".

Regina smirked. " I agree, thinking she would lose is rather foolish".

" Right? Anyways, after that Ben was kind of sully. Until I promised we could meet at my place soon again" Regina melted as Henry grinned adorably. "I think he misses you cooking".

" That is rather sweet of him".

Henry shrugged. " Your cooking is just really good".

" Did you never hear about the rule, Henry?" Ruby had suddenly appeared. Years of experience had taught her to just come to the table because the two would be talking nonstop anyways, so it really didn't matter that she interrupted them.

Regina arched her eyebrow slightly - Ruby could almost hear the 'what now, miss Lucas'- while Henry just smiled at her. "You shouldn't compliment someone else's cooking when you're in a restaurant - especially not one where the cook has a crossbow"

" I am pretty sure Granny also prefers my mom lasagna".

" No, I don't lass! I have been making delicious meals long before your mother could even spell the word 'lasagna' " .

Regina bit her lips to hide her smile. " It is rather rude to listen in on people's conversations, miss - "

" Not when the people are blabbering about you, then you can listen in all you want. And none of that miss Lucas bull, Regina, or I will come over there".

" I am terrified. I am sure you knitting needles are very sharp after all "

Henry snorted, while Ruby shook her head and whispered " Are you insane? She has wicked precision with that crossbow of hers".

" I've catched your grandmother's arrows in the past".

Ruby's eyes lit up in recognition. "Oh yeah. You know, if I hadn't been kind of angrily terrified at the moment, that would've been so awesome".

Henry nodded. "It was pretty bada- cool".

" Do I need to test your arrow-catching skills, your majesty" Henry grinned at had walked over, which she often did when the dinner wasn't too crowded. She was scowling, but her eyes told him that she wasn't really mad or anything. Just some friendly teasing, which showed his mom had really become part of the Charming family.

" I would not want to harm your ego like that, dear" Regina immediately shot back, the disinterest in her tone and general tone obviously fake. Her eyes were glinting slightly as well.

Granny huffed. " Ha. As if you could!".

" I could catch anything you throw at me".

Henry interrupted the friendly bickering-goading when he was suddenly struck by a thought. " Mom! " .

" Yes, mijo?".

" You should".

Regina frowned. " I should .. catch arrows?".

" Well yeah. It is the perfect way to test your speed , right?".

" Henry, I have told you before - I am not certain it is wise to experiment with my newfound 'talents' " . I have just rejected the darkness- what if I hurt you. Regina felt like she had participated in that foolish 'ice bucket challenge' that Emma and Henry had been talking about before all of this happened. There was so many ways to accidentally hurt Henry.

Henry scoffed. " Mom, you would never hurt me. And- I really think we should gather more intel. And because you won't let me sneak into that house - ".

" Henry. Under no circumstances are you to ever enter any building that has those creatures in it. Understood".

" Yeah. But regardless, if you won't let me find out stuff in that way, we need something else. And I don't think your powers are evil or anything".

It was only years of conditioning by her mother - manners, Regina, are important if you want to marry- that kept her from shifting in her chair. " I hope not" she said, with a glance at Ruby ( Granny had walked back into the kitchen now that the 'fun part' was over). She just smiled.

" Well, I don't think so " he hesitated, then asked. " Or - what does it feel like?".

Like having run a marathon in the burning sun, and forgetting to drink. Like rubbing ice cubes over your gums. Regina had to swallow, both figuratively and literally. She had to swallow the urge to wrinkle her nose with disgust as she swallowed more spit than she thought she could produce. But that was what it had been like, an incredibly itchy and dry throat alternated with moments where her salivory glands were working overtime.

" Mom?".

Regina shook herself. Even as a teenager, I never had issues with my concentration like this. " I- right, what it feels like. It is difficult to describe. I am experiencing several things, Henry" .

" Like what- ".

Regina glanced at Ruby. "Perhaps we should order first?" . Ruby's pout showed that she understood that Regina had ulterior motives ( namely getting the gossip away from her private business)

" Yeah okay. Hot chocolate with cinnamon, fries and a burger please".

" Henry, please choose at least something moderately healthy. You have already eaten too many unhealthy things the past days".

" The burger has lettuce on it".

" Fine. But only because I will prepare a nutritious meal tonight. And tomorrow. And- did Emma already tell you what she will be preparing for you friday?" Usually, they have family dinners on friday even though every other week it's 'Emma's' friday. But Regina suspects there won't be any family dinners for a while.

Henry snorts. " Mom, I am pretty sure Emma doesn't even plan what she is going to do in the next hour, let alone two days later. She usually just goes to the store with me, and lets me pick something ".

" I will choose something then" Perhaps risotto. I still have not tried that recipe.

"Okay, sure. Are you going to order now?".

Regina sighed, then chuckled. " Of course. I would not want you to explode with impatience, after all"

Henry rolled his eyes, but he returned her grin. She turned to Ruby. "A chicken wrap, and a coffee please"

" Sure, madam mayor" Ruby immediately said, grinning. Like her grandmother, she liked to tease. Which was why she still called Regina madam mayor, even if they had become somewhat friends thanks to Snow's habit of holding events where she tried to drag Regina off to talk with everyone ( including dwarves. She had come to tolerate Grumpy. Tolerate. Not like him, like Henry insisted she did).

As soon as Ruby disappeared with a wink and a "coming right up, mayor Mills" , Henry tried to convince her. " Come on mom, we need to know more. The book is still not giving enough information!".

She briefly touched his hand at the aggravated tone. "Henry"

" I know- I just, what if you suddenly get worse? What if the transformation isn't over yet, or the vampires try something again o-or" Regina left the booth and sat down next to him, throwing an arm around him at the sight of his crestfallen expression. " todo estará bien, mijo"

" You can't promise that "

" Corazón- ".

Her own eyes burned at the sight of his wet eyes, and the tear trails on his cheeks. " No! You can't" he hugged her really tightly for a moment, then pulled back again but stayed close. Before she could reassure him that she was fine, that she wasn't dying or anything, that they would find a solution, he whispered something that made her bite her lip really hard to keep from crying herself. "No me dejes mama, no me dejes"

She hugged him again. " Nunca, mi cielo".

When he was calmed down enough, she slowly pulled away again and grabbed a tissue from her purse. As she gently wiped away his tears, he leaned against her. "I thought you wouldn't wake up anymore. That my family would get broken".

Her hand stilled. " Henry, you would never be alone. You would still- ".

She almost flinched at the angry tone. " I don't care! Nothing is okay if I don't have my entire family" she had a flashback to a four-year-old Henry, the one who was terrified of the old creaking oak tree, to the point where he would grab her hand so very tight and hide his face. " You are my mother. I love you".

"I love you too , sweetheart, I love you so m-much" a few tears slip. But she manages to keep the rest back.

" Then at least do something, please".

Regina sighs. " Like what?".

" I don't know. Just- at least feed or something".

" Henry- ".

" Mom. I am not stupid. I can see you're hurting, that you're becoming more frail and have less energy and- I think you need blood. " he adds the last part in a really quiet voice.

" I am fine".

Henry huffs. " Yeah, right" he is quiet for a while, then: " you wouldn't have to hurt people. The hospital always has blood available".

It is odd, how the cold in her gums intensify while she feels slightly nauesous at the idea as well. Of course I do, I do not wish to drink blood. Old, cold blood. So unlike Emma's warm- She nearly flinches at that thought. She has been having thoughts like those a lot , but it still unbalances her.

" I will think about it" she finally says, allowing Henry to pull away.

" Promise?".

" I promise"

He seems calmer now, almost relaxed. He even smiles brightly at her, and glances at the kitchen. " I think the food is ready " . She loves how he can still get excited about things like that. About food, and comics, and video games.

She waves Ruby , who had been waiting for a sign that they didn't need some time and space anymore, over. She immediately saunters towards them, hands Henry his food and drink with an affectionate " There you go Henry, try to eat a little slower than usual so you don't choke" and a head ruffle before turning towards Regina.

Her smile abruptly drops. As does her stomach. When she tries to think, all she gets is 'thirsty' . Her eyes flit down, to where she can suddenly hear a heartbeat like a drum, all thumpthumpthumpthump. She hisses, her gums suddenly burning like she has drunk hot chocolate far too quickly.

" Ruby " she says. She is aware- but why- that she should tell the girl to leave, but all she wants her to do is closer. She thinks that sound may have been a plate falling- who cares when Ruby is coming even closer than she had been previously and she she smells so good.

The sound is nice too Regina thinks when Ruby moans really softly as she yanks her forward and immediately slides her lips over her skin, following the path of blue veins towards - she only realizes the growl was all hers three seconds after it happened. She gasps as it all comes rushing in- the sounds of hushed whispers and yells, the smell of coffee and all the other things you can buy in this diner and the furious-worried face of Granny Lucas.

The crossbow still pointed at Regina.

The arrow planted in the wall next to her, its feathers tickling Regina's skin when she turns her head. The blood on her cheek, the wrong colour when she lowers her hand again.

" You got three seconds girl. You back - or do I need to point this thing at your heart? " it's Granny's growl, and it prompts Regina to lick lips that feel dry and kind of burning before croaking " I am back, I believe".

" Ruby, come stand next to me".

" Gran- ".

" Girl".

" Granny- she wasn't going to hurt me".

Regina feels pleasant shivers, and very unpleasant ones crawling and jumping over her spine. She wants this. If I as much as insinuated I wanted my teeth burried in her neck, she would let me. Ruby's eyes are black, with gold pulsing underneath. She makes an angry sound when a hand wraps around her wrist , and tries to pull her back. Regina might be growling herself.

" Gra- " .

" Shut up "

Granny's hand, the one that is holding her crossbow as she points it at Regina, is trembling. Regina takes another step towards her- when did I stand up, exactly- and keeps staring at her as she smiles at Ruby. "Ruby?" she immediately yanks herself free and presses against Regina. Who is only barely aware of a harsh voice, and the wood in her right hand. She tosses the arrow back, in the direction where she can feel the other woman is still standing.

Ruby tastes amazing. There is only a slight hint of iron, an aftertaste really. The first impression is spices and meat and- her magic flares, something explodes and she only barely catches Ruby when her knees buckle. She lays the girl behind her, then slowly grabs the arrow in her shoulder.

" Last warning. I don't want to hurt you Regina- but I will if you don't leave my granddaughter alone". like earlier, it all comes rushing back. She is aware that it is Granny standing there, and that she is trembling slightly but that her lips are pulled tight. She won't hesitate. The boy next to her- that's Regina's son. Regina's brave, kind boy and he is screaming. She thinks he might have been screaming her name first, but now it's all " don't hurt DON'T HURT HER DON'T " as he struggles against the person holding him.

Regina collapses, falling on the seat of the booth.

She almost pushes Henry away- you could get hurt, you could get hurt, you could hurt - but ultimately, she cannot bring herself to do so. He sobs as he rushes into her arms, and she pulls him towards her and watches Granny over his shoulder. She still has to lower the crossbow.

" I am sorry, I am s-so sorry". She likes Ruby. She could've hurt her. Usually, this would be the part where she gets angry and fights something - preferably the monsters who did this to her. She should toss her fireballs at their faces- surely fire can still destroy them.

In fact, she might have - were it not for the hand that's suddenly on her shoulder.

She tries to breathe through her mouth only, but it is useless. Ruby is still there, and Regina can smell her, and the blood still on her lips tastes delicious and. She wants more.

She grits her teeth, tries to push the hand away. " Ruby- " the fool just smiles- and Regina feels her control slipping again when she leans in. She feels something that may be teeth sliding out in her mouth when Ruby murmers "It's okay. I know you won't hurt me. You have my permission".

Before Regina can do something admittedly stupid, something she will regret, Ruby yells "hey!" and throws her grandmother an affronted look. Granny just rolls her eyes, tightens the hand around her granddaughter's arm. " I am not going to let you be bitten by a vampire. Isn't it enough to be a werewolf?".

" I wouldn't immediately turn into a vampire" Ruby pouts.

" No, Ruby".

Ruby sighs. " But she needs blood, doesn't she?".

Regina can function normally again, now that there is a little distance between her and Ruby. " That is a very bad idea, miss Lucas".

Ruby turns to her. "No, it isn't. I don't know how long you can go without blood, but I am guessing not that long before it turns really unpleasant. I heal faster than most people, so it is pretty safe to bite me" . She grins. "And it feels pretty awesome- really, I wouldn't mind. At all".

Henry stands and wrinkles his nose at Ruby. " Ew"

" What? It does! It kind of feels like- ".

Regina quickly raises her hand to stop Ruby. " That is enough , miss Lucas",

" Maybe I was going to say it just feels like eating sundae".

Regina snifs. "I very much doubt that".

Ruby's grin widens. "You are also really hot, which probably- ".

" Ruby!" Henry throws her the most exagerrated, betrayed and revolted look.

Ruby just laughs and playfully pushes him. " Come on, surely you have heard that before "

" I don't want to hear it" he narrows his eyes at her. "And you have a girlfriend".

"It is not like I am offering to sleep with her- I am just offering my blood".

" Please do not ever say the word 'sleep' in relation to my mom ever again. Ever".

"Okay, whatever mister sensitive".

" Ruby, please stop torturing my son. And I am not going to bite you".

" I am just asking for a repeat performance "

" Mom!" Henry scolds, when Regina cannot help herself and smiles flirtatiously at Ruby. Stop that! At least she manages enough control to not say Ruby's name like that again.

" My apologies Henry, but- ".

"You know, we could always go upstairs" Ruby offers.

Regina arches her eyebrows. " I am a queen, and have a bit more class than that".

" Yeah, right" Ruby says. She looks like she is going to add something, but then she glances at Henry and shuts up. Granny snorts, and finally lowers the crossbow.

Henry sighs and looks at Regina. "It might be a good idea, you know" before Regina can say anything, he quickly clarifies. "To drink her blood".

" Henry. In most tales, vampirism is strongly linked to mind control. It could be very dangerous to drink anyone's blood"

"Maybe. But it is also dangerous if you don't! ".

Granny sighs. " I cannot believe I am saying this, but perhaps the boy is right" she gently touches Regina's shoulder. And says... something. Regina doesn't really know. She is distracted for a moment, and she clears her throat but it doesn't make the feeling any better. Without thinking , she grabs Granny's hand

It is yanked back. " Don't even think about it, I am not your walking juice box ".

" I was hardly going to bite you. Your blood - it is less appealing".

Granny scoffs. " You did not seem to mind two seconds ago ".

" That is likely because I am still very thirsty" Regina admitted.

" So you think you wouldn't drink Granny's blood if you weren't like really thirsty".

" I think so"

" So it matters whose blood it is? ".

" Yes. It smells different- and it makes me feel different".

He wrinkles his nose. " Like, when you drink it".

" No, more like- when I am around people".

" Wait a minute" he quickly grabs his bag, that he had placed on the ground when they entered the diner, and takes out a leatherbound notebook, and a pen in the shape of a lightsaber. "Okay. So what does it feel like?".

" All the customers are calmed down again, and I think some of them are getting antsy "Granny remarks, looking at severely grumpy-looking people. She looks at Regina. " Can I trust you to only set your teeth in actual food, not humans?".

" I am in possession of something called self-control, miss - Granny "

Granny snorts. " Didn't look like that just minutes ago, little miss selfcontrol. Try to keep your teeth tucked in, or whatever" Regina weakly glares at the woman as she marches away, to the counter.

" Should you not get back to work as well?" she asks Ruby.

" Nah. I am entitled to a lunch break anyways" she plops down next to Regina- or tries to. Before she can , Regina stops her with her hands on Ruby's hips and gently pushes her towards Henry. " Sit next to Henry, dear, not me" her fingers tighten on those hips for a moment, and for a crazy second she thinks about pulling Ruby in her lap.

She tries to be subtle about putting more distance between them, even when Ruby sits down next to Henry with an eyeroll and a little huff. She forces her focus back to Henry. " What did you want to ask, mijo?".

He clicks his pen. " The blood thing. What does it feel like, and smell like. How do you feel right now - do you think you really need to feed right now or is it okay?" he points the pen at her. "And no lying! I will know it, and you can't sabotage the research like that".

Regina feels warm, and light, and automatically smiles. "So you have inherited Emma's 'superpower' now".

He just shrugs, then watches her impatiently. She brushes away a stray lock and stares at her plate. What is the best way to explain? She tries to think back to what she felt when Ruby got so near. And compare it to what she has felt around other people. " My senses are sharper. That is one of the things I noticed immediately. My sense of smell has also improved immensely- so I can smell their blood now. And it's iron but it is also very specific".

" Specific?".

" Yes. Miss Lucas, for example, smells like the earth and spices".

"Oh. What do I smell like?".

"Why do you want to know? ".

" I am curious".

" That new aftershave you 'borrowed' from David. It is quite... overwhelming".

He blushed and looked down. She clumsily reached for his hand and squeezed it once. " It is smells perfectly fine to humans Henry- it is just a bit much for someone who can smell extremely well".

" You sure?".

" Of course".

"So what does my blood smell like? ".

She sighed. Why did I raise him to question things again, and to persist? " You smell like ink, and old books and chocolate".

He stares at her. " That isn't what my blood smells like, isn't it?".

" No, but- it is kind of difficult to explain Henry. The most I can offer, is that your blood smells sweet with only a hint of bitterness".

" Oh cool" . He scrabbles something in his notebook. " So have you ever wanted to drink mine?".

She inhales sharply, brings her hand to her forehead for a moment. " Henry- "

" Mom. I don't care, okay? Like, of course I care that this is happening, that you are in danger and everything but if you have ever wanted it- it won't make me look at you differently".

He is so sweet, so understanding and caring. She smiles at him, forces down the tears that are threatening again. " I know, mi cielo, but - this is all just very confusing".

" Okay".

She sighs, then admits " I have- It was not as pressing, or overwhelming as it has been around other people. But I am thirsty and - " She tries to smile, but it ends up being more of a grimace. This thing I am turning into does not care you are my son, and that I love you and I would never do something like that.

" I get it. But- "he scrunches up his brow a little. " it is far stronger around other people? ".

" I- yes. I hardly even have to attempt to control myself around you. It is more that the thirst gets stronger than that I truly want to drink your blood".

" Hm. Interesting. What about gramps and grandma?" her heart aches, like someone froze it and then grabbed it to squeeze it like one of those stressballs Archie once had the nerve to offer to her. That small grin- it is all Emma's. " Do you want to drink Snow White's blood really badly? ".

She manages a chuckle. "Surprisingly, no. It is- with Snow, the thirst is managable. It is worse than around you - it feels like you have not drunk anything yet, and it is already in the afternoon, and you see a glass of water somewhere. It is that feeling. But it is nothing I cannot ignore, or even something that would be in my mind for a long time".

He scribbles that down as well. " And grandpa?".

" It is different with your grandpa. If I forgot to watch myself around, something might accidentally happen. But I have a feeling that I would have to be incredibly thirsty for that to happen".

"" Huh. What is different about Ruby and Emma then?".

She tries to hide how that unsetttles her, but she can still feel her eye twitch just a little bit. "Emma?".

" Well yeah, you bit her didn't you?".

" I am certain that was merely because I had only just been... changed Henry".

She sees her own you-do-not-fool-me-you-imbecile look thrown back at her. " Mom. I have seen the weeks after. There were at least three accidents where it almost happened again. Three. And you kept- you kept using the Thrall".

" The Thrall".

He grins for a millisecond. " That is what I call the mindcontrol thing. Pretty good, huh?".

" I am certain I did not- ".

"Mom, you totally did. It is not like I am accusing you or anything, okay. I just noticed that you used the Thrall to like get her closer?".

She feels like the oxygen in the air has suddenly replaced with poison, poison that makes her lungs burst, her stomach lose all functionality, her self-loathing pretty much explode like a volcano.

" Mom. It is okay" she shudders and looks down at her hand, which Henry is gently holding. She can't look at his face. He loves Emma. Surely- he wishes something better for her than me. " Mama"

She glances at him. " If that is what I did- it was never on purpose Henry. I would never- " She thinks of arranged marriages, and she used to hope desperately that Leopold would be called away that night. She thinks of Emma's face, grim and dark and pained, as she laughs and tries to pretend the creeps that looked a little too long, touched a little too much - or just wanted her to do things for them that would get them into trouble- when she pretends that was nothing. " I would never hurt her. Not anymore- ".

" I know. Duh. Mom, you have stood up to Gold for her, and risked a lot for her, and you cook for her when you know she is going to have a long day for work. Seriously, how many times have you given me food that I should give to her?".

" We are friends" it is the only thing she knows to say.

"Yeah. And I think it is great and all, but- " he steels himself, raises his head slightly. " what happened? Why is mom trying to run again? " it is a question he has asked a lot, and the answers she has given ( "I don't know". " she told us, she is busy") have not been believed.

" I have told you that it is miss Swan's- ".

" Mom. Will you just be truthful, please. I hate this , okay? I hate that she doesn't just barge in anymore, and that you are subdued, and that grandma is sort of fighting with mom and I hate how we might not have family dinner tomorrow or the day after or the day after that. We need to stick together. You are in danger, and mom is running" he sounds like her, so angry with a lot of pain and fear hiding beneath that anger.

She touches his chin gently. " Your mother will not run forever, Henry. I am sure she will realize what she is doing, and apologize to you".

"She shouldn't apologize to me, I still see her. She is mistreating you. She should be there to protect you!".

" Henry, I can protect myself. Better than ever, actually".

" But what if you get bitten again, or they kidnap you or they force themselves into your dreams. It is only Emma that has kept you in bed these past weeks. If she hadn't stood guard, and been around you and everything, you would've gone to the graveyard again".

That much is true. She feels herself smile at the memory of Emma holding her hand to keep her from getting away in her sleep, or waking and seeing Emma sit in the chair in front of the bed, or any of the other silly things that Emma did because she cared. Because they were friends. And you ruined all that. You are hurting your family. Again

" I am just saying mom, we need Emma".

" I know, Henry, but this is Emma's choice. Not ours. She has to decide for herself what she wants".

" But- " .

" Henry"

He shuts up, but she knows this isn't the last time he will bring it up- and if he won't bring it up again, he will try to find some way to get Emma to at the very least talk with her again. She knows the look in his eyes, knows him well enough to be aware he is already concocting a new operation. She doesn't really know why she does not try to talk him out of it. Probably because she knows it will not work anyways.

Or perhaps it is just that she misses Emma too much.

She should be colder. She can feel the cold- but it isn't touching her. That doesn't make sense , but it is like walking in the Snow wrapped in really thick clothing. She breaths and it is visible, she can feel ice beneath her feet and when she tries to light a fire- it freezes before her heavy limbs and struggling magic can make it work.

" What do you want?".

He steps out of the fog. Or perhaps he stops being part of the fog. When he spreads his arms wide open, his cape billows behind him. There was not any wind just now. " You, my dear, you".

She almost tries to channel the evil queen before she gets nauseas by the thought that she would still cling to that, even now. Instead, she just shrugs and crosses her arm. She purposefully slides her eyes over him, making sure to keep her expression as bored, as disinterested as possible.

His hands feel like an electrical shock and a snow storm all at once. " I believe you to be the perfect fit for my family, Regina" the evil queen probably would have ripped his hands off by now. Regina just stands stockstill as he slides them from bare shoulders to her hips. She waits one more second before she pushes him, hard.

She notes he doesn't breathe when she steps close enough that their lips could brush, pushes him even harder. " You- " she pushes him again. It is almost easy to find rage now, with his smug smile, with the blood around it glaring in her face. " are not family".

She hisses at the painful electrical shock she receives where his hands are grabbing her wrists. Looking into his eyes is like fighting sleep but she manages a glare whenever she glances at the blood around his mouth. "What does a creature like you know about family?" she spits in his face.

He chuckles. He chuckles, but the look in his eyes is so pained Regina forgets for a moment and has to bite her lip to keep herself from asking whether he is okay. " Too much to be happy" he says, which makes her narrow her eyes.

She tries to make her magic work, but it barely flickers - fear works almost as well as anger usually, why is it not working why is it not working. Perhaps because she isn't afraid. His hands are burried into her hair, yanking on it to bend her head back, and a droplet of spit glides of his fangs and falls on her neck and he smells so much like blood that her own teeth start to burn (not his blood- if he has it. Is that- ) but she isn't afraid. She isn't much of anything.

It is good. It is forgetting pain, and warm baths, and touches that make you shiver in a good way. It is good enough that she doesn't protest as his teeth scratch her neck, and again. And again. Doesn't protest - he is a monster, stop him!, who knows what this will do to you- until she sees it.

She yanks back so quickly and with so much strength that she trips over her own feet and he nearly falls as well. She trips over her own feet again in her haste to get up, hardly feeling the pain as her knees hit the ground, she gets up again and throws herself down next to the body.

Her magic does obey now. It seems as desperate as she is, purple sparks hovering above her hands, as she lowers them to throat and the abundance of blood. She can only focus on the blood- not what is beneath it. Not how that throat is -

She takes exatcly ten minutes to asses the injuries and think about what needs to be healed- how it can be healed.

Regina closes her eyes and pushes at her magic. Pushes and forces it to sink into what is left of skin and grits her teeth ( it is pretty much like kitesurfen during a hurricane). She breathes through her mouth and pushes her hands into the wet earth- No. You don't want that. You can't hurt him. You can't.

Still, she feels herself bending over, gently brushing away brunette locks from a face whose features are still set in an expression of acute terror. Wake up baby, wake up. When she presses her lips to his cheek, she knows it was a mistake. She is too close to all the blood on his neck.

Hungry. Thirsty. It burns- but with cold. She reels back when her fangs shoot down painfully - or she tries because a hand buries into her hair and pushes her towards the crumpled, small body in front of her. She struggles, but she can't fight her own instincts and the extremely strong grip on her head all at the same time.

She can't help licking her lips when she is pushed against that neck, her lips smeared with the blood there - she tries to yank away, or light a fireball or do anything but he just laughs. His voice so close to her ear, his weight at her back- it all makes her sick.

" Just give in - and I will give you even something better"

" Get the hell away from me" she growls, her fingers burning as she gets ready to thow him off- the sudden flash of heat automatically makes her throw herself forward, using her body as a shield. She keeps pressed down, does not even move when she feels her shoulders burn.

She only stands when a familiar touch is on her arm, and quickly pulls her up.

Emma lifts the child in her arms without another word. She puts away her sword before she starts to walk. Regina presses closer to her, summoning a fireball and glancing around the courtyard. She curls her hand around Emma's arm, then allows her magic to take them.

As soon as they materialize in her bedroom, Emma puts the child down on the bed. She takes a step back, then asks "Is he - " she grits her teeth, shakes her head. Regina presses her hands against her stomach in a hopeless effort to calm down- and to keep herself from going over to hug Emma.

She does walk over, and places her hand on Emma's arm though. " I aleady healed him".

" And he is- ".

" I thought they had ripped his throat at first. But I believe the injuries are more superficial than I believed at first- ".

" Super- Regina, look at all the blood!".

" Yes, well. I do not- " she yanks Emma back from the bedside when the boy suddenly grabs for her arm, his eyes snapping open. She pushes Emma behind her at the ferocious snarl, the sounds, the - well everything. Stubborn idiot she thinks as Emma tries to push past her. Tries being the operative word, because no way that Regina is letting Emma rush towards the boy when he is snarling and spitting like this.

They exchange a startled, worried look and rush forward at the same time when the boy starts to groan instead of hiss, nearly black eyes terrified. He opens his mouth " M-mamma?" then screams. Regina pushes him down as he starts to kick, hit and try to crawl at his own skin. She grimaces when his teeth sink into her hand instead of his own.

" Emma- "

" Right here" Emma pants, struggling to hold the kicking/screaming/slapping boy down. " Jesus kid, calm down okay?".

The boy actually listens for a moment. Regina sees her own pain in Emma's heartbroken expression as the boy's lips tremble and he whispers "Dolore" .

Regina gently wipes a strand of hair from a very sweaty forehead. " Il dolore si arresta" she whispers. She smiles as he grabs her hand. He swallows, nods. She stares at his arm- it is not just too thin, but the blue veins are pulsing. And - Emma flinches next to her as the boy starts screaming again.

" Regina. What the hell is going on?"

" He is changing "she breathes.

" Shit".

"Quite" she says, trying to grab his arm again as he flails on the bed. His body arches, his eyes rolling, but before Regina can do anything, he already collapses and his head lols to the side. She presses her fingers to his neck, holding her breath-

she looks at Emma. "He is alive"

" You didn't react like that ".

Regina shrugs. "I am rather used to pain ".

" Regina- ".

" However, we are not knowledgable enough to assume that is the reason. Something else may be going on ".

" You were like that too" Emma said quietly.

" Like what?" she automatically squeezed Emma's bicep, trying to comfort her.

" In this coma-like state. It was goddamn awful".

" I remember"

They stared at the motionless boy for a moment before Emma asked " what do we do now?".

"He can stay here, as long as he needs".

" And what if he changes? ".

Regina sighed. "The hospital, I suppose".

" Ah" Emma is squirming, enough that Regina slowly turns to look at her an arches an eyebrow at her. Emma rolls her eyes slightly, but swallows and softly says " 'm sorry".

" And what , exactly, are you sorry for? " even if a part of her immediately wants to forgive Emma- you are the one who was foolish enough to kiss her- the rest of her wants her to squirm a little. Wants at least a little elboration, because she had just been thinking she might actually get a happy ending when Emma had run away.

She doesn't even know what Emma is feeling, because the cruel ( yes cruel . Giving hope and then ripping it away by running is nothing short of cruel) woman is not looking at her. " Fine. I am going to check on Henry, miss Swan. I understand if this friendship between us has to come to an en-".

It is impressive how quickly Emma moves forward. Regina sighs as the door slams closed, Emma's magic obviously the culprit. "Emma. There is no need to damage either my door or my walls- ".

"Regina, hear me out okay? I really like this thing we have. Because you're kind of an asshole at times, but I get that is also because of your very high-maintenance mother and well- everything. But what I said , I meant that. No one understands me like you do. You wouldn't think to judge me, or just forgive me because you are a hero or whatever, or even demand that I be the saviour"

Regina couldn't have frozen more if someone had tried to use squid ink on her again. " You are the only one in this whole damn town I practically had to force to let me help with finding their happy ending" .

Emma swallows, nods. " I would never ruin that. Really. Or do you- do you want to stop being friends?".

" No. I enjoy it" . She almost adds all the other things she wants. How she wants to wake up, and see that awful jacket haphazardly thrown over a chair. How she wants to slap Emma's hand away from the pots and pans on the stove. How she wants to laugh at Emma's silly jokes, and listen to her stories. How she wants to bicker and fight and make up. (because for a moment, she had genuinely believed Emma might want those things, too. But she didn't. She had run away, had she not?)

" Great. I - think it is great, you know. I have never really had friends. Apart from Lily, but that was a freaking mess. And really, what are friends worth when they're just your friends because they are predestined or drawn to you or whatever shit it was that kept pulling Lily to me, and me to Lily" Emma shakes herself. " Anyways, I like it too. I really like your cooking, and you help me with all this stuff- like the magic, and you are pretty great when you are not plotting my downfall " she laughs, a little awkwardly.

" Wonderful" Regina says emotionless. Just like her mother, destroying me. Although I am certain that the storybook was not alluding to this method of destruction.

" Yeah. So, friends? " .

She deserves better anyways Regina reminds herself as she tries to smile through the pain. " Of course. You are forgiven, miss- Emma".

Emma exhales slowly. " That means a lot, thanks. And uh- I really am sorry. I shouldn't have run like that".

" I am familiar with your special brand of coping, Emma" it is not completely gentle, because Regina cannot have Emma running away. Not when that could hurt Henry again. But it is gentle enough that Emma still smiles at her.

" I know. And I- I am trying not to be that person anymore".

" Okay. We have bigger things to be concerned about" she looks at her wall in purpose, because more of Emma Swan's stupid face and stupid kind expression and she will forever embarrass herself by breaking down crying. And I do not want Emma to feel guilty. She has started to feel far too responsible for people's happiness.

" I guess- Regina, do we not need to talk more about this. I mean, you- " She cannot even bring herself to say it, she is so revolted by it. Regina's eyesight is slightly blurry, but she manages to swallow even if it feels like it is not saliva but tiny daggers and glance at Emma. Who looks ready to bolt again.

" No, miss Swan. We need to do what is best for our son. And what is b-best- " she actually needs several seconds to calm herself, don't cry don't embarrass yourself, and she looks at the wall because if she looks at Emma Swan everything hurts too much. " for Henry, is if his mothers are both here. And they are cooperating. So that is what we will do. You will apologize to Henry. You will explain it to him. And you will never do that again".

She stares at the wall as Emma comes closer. She has to clench her hands into fists to keep herself from actually, physically pushing the woman away. Now that she can no longer fool herself into believing that somewhere, deep down but somewhere , Emma feels like this as well- the very thought of Emma being near her is too hurtful right now.

" Go, mi- Emma".

She hovers, and for a moment Regina desperately wants Emma to reach out. To ask whether that is tears brimming in Regina's eyes. To notice that she is nearly crumbling. Emma reaches for her, but she closes her mouth again before saying something. She squeezes, once, then slowly lets go and gives Regina a timid smile before the door slams,

and Regina crumbles against it.