"A Flower in the Attic"
Chapter 15: Endless Possibilities
"Renji..."
Renji looked up from the book he was staring at the petite girl lying on the bed calling his name. He couldn't remember the last time his sister had called him and uttered his name just because she was teasing or playing with him. It gives him shivers whenever he hears her call him and her voice lace with worry and pain. His sister's face was so thin and frail that she looked like a real life ghost in the night enchanting him with her voice calling him to his death. And if she was, he wouldn't care being enslave by her beauty. He would gladly give himself to her. Give everything to please her.
"What's wrong Rukia? Are you in pain?" He moved closer to the young girl and held her soft white hand with as much care as he could muster, trying to soothe the pain that his sister had inflicted on herself when she was hysterical. Her hand was cold and so small one would think it belonged to a five year old child.
"Aren't you mad at me?"
Renji saw that Rukia tried to sit but not without effort in order to look and stare at her brother on eye level and couldn't bear what he was looking at. For the past two years and months he tried to ignore what they were going through by the hands of their grandmother and living in hell that they called room.
physically, mentally and emotionally. They were suffering.
But what can he do?
He is merely a child. As much as he would like to escape. He knew there would be more problems once they step foot outside of the mansion. Could they live alone without anything? Could they survive on their own? Without their mother, their grandparents and without nowhere to go to?
What would happen once they escape? Would their grandmother be furious and look for them? Would she hunt them down and drag them back in this suffocating and tiny hole? And if she did catch them, would she hurt them ten times more than what she was doing now?
What if they were able to escape? Where would they go? Where would they live? How can they live?
He was afraid, afraid not because of living in the streets after escaping but what might happen when people find out about them. He knew enough there would be a possibility of being separated from each other. He might never get to see his sisters and brother if they would escape. He might never be able to held Rukia the way he was holding her now.
Lost in his train of thoughts he did not realize he was hugging Rukia as tight as possible. Just the thought of losing her was unbearable and hurt him so much. He was certain he would go crazy just thinking about it.
When did he start feeling like this towards his own sister? Rukia was oblivious to the hidden turmoil he was having with his feelings. The thoughts he had in his mind where nowhere decent nor appropriate for someone that belongs in his family. If his grandmother knew how to read his mind, he would be punished. He would be punished severely just for thinking about it. He knew what would happen if he was caught and he fears not for his own but for his sisters and brother's sake.
Still, he knew he did not care anymore.
When did he start to think about his sister more as a woman and not as a younger sibling?
When did he start to realize he was falling and falling so hard he could not even pull himself up from the unwanted feelings he was having? His mixed emotions of wanting to protect her as a sister and... as a lover.
Holding her in his arms has made him unable to stop his actions. His hands started roaming everywhere he could touch. He kept calling her name to remind himself she was his sister but the desire effect is nowhere near what he expected. Instead, calling her name only gave him chills and anxious for more.
He felt her touching him.
Her hands moved to his chest gripping his old white shirt. He felt her squirming from his arms. She tried to be in a much more comfortable position and then breathed in. He heard him call his name and that's where he totally lost control of his mind. He succumbed to his desires.
Because of Rukia's movements somehow he has found her neck, intoxicated with the sweet smell of her hair and body and with his hesitation long forgotten he kissed her on the neck.
His desire was building up so fast and he couldn't feel it stopping anytime soon until...
"Renji stop!"
The small arms that were grabbing his shirt pushed him as hard as they could.
It then hit him.
Rukia was not grabbing him to feel him she was trying her best to stop him.
"Renji... I'm sorry. But you know we can't do this. Whatever it is that you're feeling right now you know it can't happen. It will never happen."
Shock from his own actions and thought, Renji did nothing but listened to Rukia.
"What's happening to you? I love you Renji but you know what you want is impossible. It's not right and it will only hurt us both. Please, just please try not to do this again..." Rukia started moving in closer to Renji but she was stopped when he moved away from the bed and stood beside it instead. She was grateful the twins were in the attic and they did not see their current state.
"Tell me, how can I stop? I don't know how to stop this... this longing." He averted his eyes from her, turned his back from her in fear of once again be a victim of his indecent emotions. While hugging his own sister, he felt himself twitch from excitement. His blood boiling for more sins.
"Rukia, i don't know how. I can't... I don't think I will be able to stop myself from wanting to touch you, feel you, feel myself... f...fe...feel m... myself inside of you..."
Embarrassed by his own confession, Renji took long quick steps to go to the attic. He wanted to be far awaY as possible from Rukia and calm his erratic heartbeat or maybe it was his body that needed to calm. He needed to get away from her to prevent himself from hurting both of them and where could he go? Nowhere, but the smelly attic covered in dust. Glancing first at the twins and giving them a polite smile before vanishing in the corner and wishing for nothing more than to be eaten by that small and lonely place.
Night has fallen.
The moon was hanging above the sky giving light to the woods that shows her path to the lake in the middle of the forest. You could hear the eerie silence that the forest was giving. The twigs breaking or snapping with each step that she was taking. The sound of the rustling leaves swaying caused by the winds and giving the chill enough to scare even a teenage girl walking slowly deep in thoughts of what has transpired that day.
'Renji... Why...?'
She did not need to ask.
She knew it was inevitable. growing old in that place they called home, during their most curious age. To never be able to speak with the opposite sex and To never be able to see anybody else aside from themselves. She would be lying if she would say it did not affect her the way her brother held him. His wandering hands caressing her with gentleness and boldness that can ignite fire on her cold body.
Her brother. There's no doubt that he was special to her. She would do anything to keep her brothers and sister safe. She would even sell her own soul if it will guarantee their safety, if it meant getting them out of their predicament.
Whenever Renji looked at her full of longing she ignored his gaze. She kept thinking it was a normal gesture of a brother for his sister. But being locked up in a cage and exempted from the world their attractions were directed at each other.
Another reason to hate the person who brought them to this world.
'Momma...'
She knew if they are living the normal life, her brother would not even think and look at her with so much love and eagerness. If they were living a normal life the twins would not look so freakish it scared her so much.
They did not deserve this.
They did not deserve to suffer and slowly die. Yes, she knew they were only waiting to die. Slowly and surely, each day passing by, the twins are getting worse. Everyday her brother's feelings for her will deepen and she may not be able to stop him anymore. Their mother abandoned them. She has forgotten them. They did not even know whether she was still alive because she left them in that God forsaken place. They waited for her but now they know, They were waiting in vain. No one will save them and no one will even know they exist.
'Wrong! Someone knows I exist!'
Yes, somebody did know she exist. Not just her but her brother as well. Someone knew she did live.
'Ichigo...'
Fate had led her to meet him. She did not know what she wanted from him. Nor did she know what purpose did it have to meet him. Maybe because he was the first person she met after being isolated from the world, that she felt too attached to him. All she knew is for the first time in her life she felt more desire to fight and survive. To fight and escape.
How could they escape? She dreaded that word for she knew there was no chance for them to live outside of the mansion. There was no way for them to survive without the help of anyone. If they decide to seek help from anybody, yes they would get their freedom but will they be able to stay together and live together? What would happen to the twins? The thought of being separated is unbearable.
'No! We have come too far! We will be together no matter what!'
She was tired of all the possibilities that might happen to them. Exhaustion is evident on her face as she kept wondering what would have happened if they were living a normal life or what would happen if they were to leave the mansion. And so, Rukia kept dragging her feet one step at a time through the loneliest night, going nowhere in particular but somehow was able to reach the clear icy lake reflecting the moon.
Standing by the lake, looking lost in the middle of the forest and yet he seems like he did not care nor was he even bothered by the time of the night, hands in his pockets; was a boy with bright orange hair.