I do not own OUAT. Warnings; this has a scene where something happens that reads like sexual assault (because of the whole mindcontrol thing) and there's this pretty gross description of a transformation into a spider-thing.

Fog wrapped around her , like a blanket except less comforting. Her breath, cut-off so it is stuck in her chest, making it tight. Muffled sounds she can't identify- screams or whimpers or cries. Glowing eyes, everywhere. Odd sounds, like spiders walking over the ground. So many, so many, in her skin, pouring into her eyes, covering her mouth with their webs and she can't –

For the third time that night, Regina wakes with a start, her heart pounding, her mouth dry and the bed on fire. Before she can gather her wits enough to put it out, there is muffled cursing and the flames slowly fade. The next second, there are gentle hands taking her wrists and exerting only the barest pressure. Emma has learned not to try to hold her down, and Regina is immeasurably grateful she didn't ask for an explanation , just seemed to understand, and will never admit it.

Emma is trying to entangle the blankets calmly ( it is a lot more efficient than Regina's panicked kicking) and there's a glass of water next to Regina that she immediately drinks, even though it doesn't quench her thirst, doesn't help with the dry mouth and burning throat. As soon as it's empty, Regina vanishes it and leans against the wall.

" What was it this time?" Emma says

" Emma- "

"I know you're not one for talking about this kind of shit, and I get that. But- these aren't normal nightmares, are they?"

Regina thinks of two nights ago, when she had woken and there had been dozens of spiders sitting in front of her bed and Emma had stumbled around, muttering things and stomping on them. " No, they are not" she finally says

Emma watches her. " Spiders, again?"

" This time, yes. Earlier – " she thinks of howls and blood and teeth sinking into her skin. " Wolves" she finally says

" Just the uh usual ones?" it takes her a second to get it, and she shakes her head. " I am not certain"

" Fuuuck" Emma exclaims, and for some reason it calms Regina. It calms her enough that her shoulders drop and she even, slowly, moves her hand away from her stomach.

Emma takes a deep breath, muttering her mantra 'what even is my life' and looks at Regina again. " Should I like get silver bullets and all that?"

For some reason, that makes Regina a little ill too. She has never killed a werewolf, but she does not doubt that she would've, had she gotten her hands on Snow's furry friend. But no, no. " I do not think that necessary" she says, pushing down her surprising feelings with some difficulty and focusing on Emma

" Okay, but we will have to inform everyone, and take counter measures so everyone is safe"

"What are you thinking off?"

Emma sighs and rubs her neck. " We could install a curfew, tell people to not go anywhere alone. Maybe the nuns could accompany people, so they can get people away quickly with magic if they're attacked"

Regina almost flinches, thinking of being pressed against a wall and Whale's hands around her neck. " The town does not mind resorting to violence. They will pick up their torches and pitchforks if they know what is going on" she says

"Possibly. But maybe my parents can calm them down?"

" Or perhaps they will launch a foolish attack - " Emma utters an incredibly foul curse when Regina hisses and spasms suddenly. Not again. She tries to push Emma away, but the stubborn, stupid woman won't let her.

"Regina?"

" Hng" she says, which isn't what she meant to say at all. What she had wanted to say , was 'leave the room, you idiota' but her vowel cords seem reluctant to actually let her. Emma gets even closer, mierda, and she's close and gorgeous and caring and Regina aches and screams at herself to just stop it.

" Em- "

" Maybe it will help if you – " it's dark but Regina's vision has improved so much that she can see everything, even Emma's cheeks flushing slightly. Even if she couldn't see perfectly well in the shadowed room, she would know. Gods above and below help her, and curse her karma, but she would. " If you feed" Emma says, again. It might be the third time or it might be the thirtieth time she has offered since Regina has gotten worse, and Regina is a weak, weak person.

She almost gives in.

" No!" she manages to say – actually, it's more of a growl and it would be horrifying (embarrassing) if she wasn't too focused on how her muscles are disobeying her and her neck burns like she turned it way too quickly and everything else hurts so much that there are dark spots at her vision.

Emma makes a noise of frustration. " If you would just- "

The spasms are lessening, and Regina just manages to grit out" Don't know the effects " before there's that pain again and she has to use all her willpower to not start screaming. She is trembling and gritting her teeth and thinking 'don't be weak, don't be weak' when there's an interlude. A moment where the pain stops and she almost cries with relief.

As soon as she opens her eyes again, she knows what has happened. Emma's face is scrunched in stubborn determination and her face is illuminated by the soft greyish magic all around them. It's Emma's magic, apparently knowing how to stop a pain that makes Regina's own magic useless, and she almost lets out an exhausted chuckles because of course. Naturally, the one person I need to keep my distance from, is the one that can make me feel better.

" Are you okay?" Emma softly asks, dropping her hands. It's kind of like leaving your warm, very comfortable bed in the morning, when you forgot to close the window and it's winter and so it's freezing. That's what Emma's magic leaving her is like.

" Yes, I am fine. Completely fine. Fine" Regina says, and Emma really doesn't need her lie detector for that one so she isn't surprised when Emma just gives her a 'yeah, right' look but she doesn't say anything, just shrugs and nods.

" If that's your story and you're sticking by it, fine. Do you need any water or whatever?"

" No, I am good " now that she's no longer in pain, Regina truly notices how close Emma is. Her eyes have different shades in them. Regina kind of stares at them, and tries to look like she isn't.

" Okay. So should I make breakfast?"

" It is five in the morning" Regina deadpans

"It's five in the morning, you definitely won't fall asleep again and both of us are starving but at least one of us actually eats"

" I am not - " Regina searches for the right expression, then settles on " I am not using you for that, Emma"

" Well, you gotta eat" Emma says, shrugging. " And really, I don't mind. It's a little weird, but that's just Storybrooke, right?"

" I do not disagree with you on that" Regina offers, because Storybrooke really is weird. It's her town and she is proud of it, and protective, but it is a little odd by most standards.

Emma smiles, and slowly gets off the bed. "So. Grilled cheese?"

" You are not touching anything in my kitchen " is all Regina says

Emma rolls her eyes. " Why does everyone assume I can't cook?"

" Because you have ruined their kitchen equipment at least once" Regina grumbles, narrowing her eyes slightly.

" I never- "

" You will refrain from touching anything in my kitchen, especially my coffee machine, or I will destroy you" Regina says.

Emma just laughs and it's a beautiful sound but Regina still feels like she should be annoyed. After all, she isn't taken serious at all anymore and that's supposed to be upsetting. Instead, Regina is just very fond.

Damn it. Damn it all.

Wolves, dozens of them. Glowing eyes and – no, not wolves. People. Dirty and bloody and – Regina gasps as the – dream? Vision? She doesn't know- disappears, and she is just sitting in Granny again, waiting for her lunch so she can return to the office and attempt to focus on those files. Not that she can focus on much of anything lately, worry and questions and hunger and shame all getting in the way. Still, work is important. And she will be happy to see Hook before allowing someone else to take care of her town.

" What did your coffee do, that you are glaring at it like that?"

Regina yanks her head up, suddenly realizing her head is heavy, her eyes are heavy, and her cheeks are flushing. She feels like her heart should be racing, but instead she can feel it slowing. All the fault of that goddamn vampire-

She tries to glare, tries to give her most poisonous look, but she can't. It's awful and she hates that woman and hates herself, and her stupid, uncooperative, weak body even more. " What do you want?" she grouses

The woman smiles at her, and Regina curses so foully in her head that even her gentle, calm father would have yelled at her for it. That smile – it has a disconcerting mixture of terror and arousal going on in her entire body, which is bad enough but she suddenly realizes she is actually smiling and can't stop. " Leave" she commands, except her tone comes out soft and pleading instead of indifferent and cold.

The woman sighs, and puts her hand on Regina's. " Listen, I came here to apologize " she says

She has a wonderful voice, it is soothing. It is odd that it is so – stop that! " Apology unaccepted, and you will remove yourself from this property before I- "

" Come on sugar, I truly am sorry "she practically coos and Regina wants to simmer with resentment but instead feels shivers jumping all along her spine. Don't. She focuses really hard, using Emma's smile and Henry's hugs as focus point, until she can feel the influence fade. She still can't manage to glower at the vampire, but at least she isn't a helpless, want-filled moron.

" Your apology is accepted" . Just leave.

"Good" the vampire purrs, before sitting down. Regina immediately opens her mouth, gritting her teeth, Emma's smile, Henry's hugs, Snow's support, David's protective caring, and is just about to at the very least admonish the woman ( and possibly push her, and hopefully cause her to fall) when the woman really goes too far, and pulls Regina into her lap.

Regina inhales sharply, and melts. She tries to fight it, but she can't focus, can't conjure any of the images she needs , can do little but try to fight the need to sink into that embrace. The only way she can is by focusing on the way her stomach feels like it is filled with stones, and her lungs feel like she is breathing in water.

Usually, she would push that feeling away, control it, not even show it in that practised way she has after everything. After her mother and the king and Snow and- just after. She pushes those thoughts away and only keeps the rest, because rather all that than endangering Emma and Henry (her friends, her family) if this woman commands her to go with her and she actually goes

"You are so beautiful" the woman says, her hands sliding down Regina's body. There's sharp acid in her stomach but at the same time, her breathing changes and – gods, she feels sick and confused and wants to scream at her body, wants to destroy it for doing something she doesn't want it to.

"Let me go " Regina finally manages to push out

The vampire chuckles, and kisses her cheek. Regina jolts in her lap when she immediately moves her lips to Regina's neck next, and she can feel- " Okay bloodsack, get your teeth off her"

Ruby. Regina has never been happier to hear that voice, and there's pure, elated relief for a moment before her stomach drops ( like she is in one of those rollercoaster rides Emma sometimes raves about) because Ruby is in danger. Ruby is in danger because of her and Henry will never forgive her and Regina herself is-

" Get out, dog" the vampire says, something so cold and condescending and just awful that Regina manages to pull her wits together enough to stumble off the woman's lap and even light a fireball. The vampire stares at it with some apprehension, but she is mostly being arrogant and smirking a lot.

She tuts. " Don't be like that, my little- "

" I am not yours" Regina says, trying to summon every ounce of hatred and rage and bloodlust so she can glare so much at the woman that if she unfortunately doesn't spontaneously die, at least she will shut up. There's nothing there though- or , there is. There is anger and loathing all brought on by the idea that this woman would rip Henry's throat, Emma's throat, would hurt anyone she cares about but it is nothing to what she is used to.

There's a lot less rage and hatred, and she almost stumbles she's so lost and confused. And not trying to show it, because if this woman even spots the smallest bit of weakness, the lightest chink in Regina's armour- " Now, this is your last- "

The vampire stands up, and shows all her fangs. (gods, Regina hates the thrill that sends through her, she really does) " Little doggie, you've got this one chance to apologize and I will be merciful" she slowly glides her eyes over Ruby, and then keeps them pointed at her chest. " I might even be very good, and take you as my own little- "

Regina doesn't recognize the sound, she just vaguely registers her chest is rumbling and her gums are burning with ice before she already slamming into the vampire, and holding her down on the floor. She slams her into it a few times for good measures, her nails digging into the other woman's shoulders for a good hold and then raising her before using all her strength to slam her into the dirty floor.

" You will not mistreat her" Regina warns, slamming her hands on the floor and getting so close to the woman that if she moved her head one inch down, they would be kissing

The vampire just chuckles. " You're even more gorgeous now that you're no longer a tamed little pet, darling" and she licks her lips. And ogles Regina's –

"Stop that" Regina commands

The smile is back. That awful, beautiful, terrifying, comforting smile that has Regina feel like she is being covered with blankets and all the noise just stops and she doesn't have to think- she grits her teeth. " I would appreciate it if you would stop attempting to brainwash me"

A chuckle." I don't think so. You're too delicious for that"

"Let me help Regina, I would be happy " Ruby says with a growl. Regina doesn't risk a glance at her, but she's sure Ruby's eyes are glowing and her teeth are bared. She must really hate the vampire if she offers anything like that.

"Step back, miss Lucas" she commands, because Ruby might be a werewolf, might be almost impossible to hurt, but Regina won't even risk her getting hurt. Or worse- because the vampire's eyes are glinting and they're filling with blood and she's really very pretty-

Regina's grip slackens.

She forgets one second, and lets out a small groan when she is thrown to the back. Actually picked up and thrown, which is humiliating. Ruby growls and she is moving without thinking, picking the woman up and putting her down behind the counter and throwing a fireball in one motion. The vampire easily deflects and she coughs when the entire room is suddenly filled with fog, and there's a cold breeze caressing her neck and –

Her eyes roll back.

The pain registers first, sharp and short and awful. Mixed through it, subduing it , is the pleasure. Her stomach is a mess, desire and disgust jumping over each other. Her head is even messier, awful memories in it that have her freeze even when the mind-control stops working. She's vaguely aware of a hand digging into her hip, and her skin heating up, like she has a fever, where it's pressing against bare skin.

She stumbles and falls, shivering violently, against the woman when she can feel the teeth retract and a kiss pressed against that spot. The woman wipes away some sweaty strands of her hair, almost reverently, and Regina is sick with herself because some small part of her still enjoys the affection. " Do not deny what you are" the woman says and Regina is too - too everything, really- to really understand what the woman is trying to tell her.

The woman's gentle expression suddenly vanishes and Regina tries to jump back – tries because her legs react like a colt's and she is instead forced to remain near the woman- when the woman's features shift. It's a nightmare, even for a woman so very used to both dreams and waking horrors. Her eyes bulge, then divide, slime sticking to the sides. As soon as there are eight of them, hairs push through her face , moving like there's a wind inside the diner. Then there's suddenly- gods, no – there is thin things pushing through her pants, hair quickly growing on them. Her mouth has become something else entirely, something with teeth and some sort of substance dripping from it-

Those eight eyes are really close to her face for a moment, and then the thing-woman- person is skittering away, and Regina is caught by Ruby. She holds her hand to her mouth, pressing down on all the tightness and pain and terror caught somewhere around her lungs. Ruby strokes her hair and holds her, holds her like she hasn't been held in- like she has probably never been held- and she scolds herself for the weakness but sinks into the embrace regardless.

Ruby just wraps her in the embrace, warm and good and loose enough that Regina could never feel trapped. " It's okay, it's okay. We got you, we got you" she whispers, and Regina grabs her hands so tightly she probably hurts Ruby but she can't stop. She trembles and shakes and tries not to lose all her composure and self-respect but loses that fight anyways.

" You did so good, you did so good" Ruby says, so warm and gentle and Regina wants to scream at her, wants to tell her she doesn't need this, mother can't know she's weak and wants to stay like this and scream more- she was the evil queen she was everything she didn't want to be and deserves all this- and wants to wrap her own arms around Ruby and –

She wipes away the tears she couldn't keep away, and realizes Ruby dragged her to the back at some time. She is even more grateful for the privacy than she is for everything else Ruby is doing. She doesn't look up though, doesn't even acknowledge Ruby as she hears and smells her return. Actually, Regina almost burns Ruby takes her hand, squeezes it and nudges the tea towards her.

"Belle always says tea is calming" Ruby says

Regina just scoffs. " When does the bookworm ever need calming?" it's probably the fact that there's no bite to it, and that Regina is scrambling to make sense of everything as well as to gather her composure again that keeps Ruby from biting her head up.

" She still doesn't like small spaces" Ruby says, obviously trying to not be accusing but mostly failing. They haven't talked enough about it, and Regina had hoped she would be in a better place for a conversation like that.

She sips her tea ,thinks you were a monster, and tries to look up. " I am so sorry" she whispers

Ruby sighs, and sits down. " I know. She has forgiven you, you know"

There's a silence filled with all her past crimes. " She probably shouldn't" she finally says, quiet but not whispering.

" Maybe. She understands though"

Regina shakes her head. " How can she? " I don't.

"Okay, understand is the wrong word and she isn't really okay with it, but she thinks that wasn't really you"

Regina finally manages to look up. " What does she mean?"

"Of course you're the crappy things as well, but you're also all the good things you did. It's like, with me, I obviously did bad stuff. Horrible stuff, things you can't forgive. But- " Ruby shrugs. " That's not who I am"

"That is different. You are a werewolf, you have no control- "

" And you were the evil queen, manipulated and used and abandoned at every turn. Which, yeah you still were wrong and you're lucky that we all managed to forgive you but come on- it's not like you're pure evil"

" I'm not. She is"

" Are Regina and the queen really different though?"

Regina sips her tea again, then rolls her eyes slightly. " Obviously. She is a different person now" the small bit of energy she was regaining fades again, and she feels even more exhausted than before "One I set free and is now threatening you"

"No, I mean- you were the queen. You can't change that and it isn't like we have forgotten, we just see you as well" Ruby seems a little frustrated.

" I- "

" Just think about it, okay?" Ruby asks, smiling at her.

"Yes. Thank you"

Ruby just shrugs. "Know what it's like, that's all. I mean, you obviously did far worse than me but still " there is another silence, slightly less heavy than the last and then Ruby smiles and says " Most of the times, Belle needs calming because of Rumple"

Regina arches her eyebrow " Imagine that "

"Yeah, like not enough tea in the world, right?"

"There is not enough tea in all the realms"

They share a smile and then Ruby gets a downright naughty expression that makes Regina eye the door. She slowly sets down her tea, which is good because two seconds later Ruby sits down next to her and throws her arm around Regina.

" So" she says, grinning

" No" Regina replies

"I wasn't saying anything!"

" Your expression tells me all I need to know, dear"

" Actually, I am just offering my help"

Regina narrows her eyes in suspicion, and holds her tongue. Which she could do for a long while, especially if it meant Ruby would not say whatever inappropriate thing was on her mind, but Ruby has to ruin it by talking, of course

" I am just thinking, you're probably hungry in the non-regular way" Ruby starts, grinning at her. Regina gives her an expression that is supposed to shut her up, but does the exact opposite. "So. You can drink from me"

" No "Regina just repeats

Ruby throws her hair back, damn her. Damn her , all her aspirations and hopefully her neck as well so that it will never tempt Regina again. This ridiculous situation, honestly- " Ruby" she warns.

Ruby turns to her " Come on Reggie" she says, a truly devilish smirk on her too-smug face.

The tea evaporates, her magic reacting, and Ruby actually pulls back a little bit when Regina leans in, and tries for her best evil queen look, trying very hard not to agonize over using it. " Do not call me that- "

"That's hot" Ruby says, and then there are suddenly soft lips pressed to her own. Ruby pulls back for just a second, and Regina doesn't know why and isn't interested so she just grabs her shirt and yanks her back in. Ruby immediately kisses her back, trying to bite down on her lip only for Regina to smirk against her lips and pull back slightly.

" That is my move" she whispers, then dives in again. There's languid kissing and messy kissing and more-or-less gentle pulling on Ruby's hair so she can nibble and kiss her neck before biting her – she files away that sound, as it is beautiful- and then they're still kissing for some reason even though that annoying hunger from the past weeks is gone but that's okay, Regina really-

The door slams open, and Regina doesn't understand why Ruby mutters 'oh shit' and disapproves when she pulls back . She tries to kiss Ruby , but she swallows and moves her eyes in a way that suggests she wants Regina to look at something. Regina rolls her eyes, but obliges. Even though Ruby was the one who started it and she most definitely enjoyed-

" Me cago en todo lo que se menea!" Regina mutters. Emma Swan is standing in the doorway, arms crossed, lips tightly pressed together and her expression downright terrifying. Regina wants to utter another dozen curses when she realizes she is still pining, even when the idiota is barging in on a very good moment.

" Seriously? " Emma hisses.

Regina inhales sharply. " I would appreciate it, Emma, if- "

" I mean, Ruby come on that's so not okay" Emma says, which leaves Regina with a slight sense of vertigo. That's a plot twist almost worthy of 'have a biscuit, Potter'. Emma is mad at Ruby and not her?

" She's obviously vulnerable or whatever, and you what? Decide your hormones are so fucking important that- "

" Hey!" Ruby cuts in. " This was a mutual thing okay, Em, and just because you can't – "

" I have a boyfriend" Emma growls

" And I have a broken picture frame Granny won't let me throw away because of sentimental value- not that she ever admits that is the reason"

" What?"

Ruby rolls her eyes. "You're ridiculous. She was in pain, I helped her out. So what?"

" Since when does helping her mean ripping her clothing, or did she also have a mysterious magical illness only cured by touching her chest?"

That's when Regina looks down and immediately glares at Ruby.

" Werewolf strength, sorry" Ruby mumbles, which somehow mellows Regina. Maybe it's just how pathetic the other woman looks right now, or how the headaches and the stomach cramps are finally gone. She just rolls her eyes and restores her clothing with a snap of her fingers.

" Aw, I liked them like they were" Ruby says

Before Regina can react to that, Emma glares at her with enough poison that Ruby holds up her hands placidly. " Calm down, you know I am mostly not into her"

" Mostly?" Regina ventures, arching one eyebrow. It is meant to be intimidating, but that obviously doesn't work on Ruby.

"I mean, we're friends but you're like insanely hot and I am a weak, weak human being so- "

" We're going home" Emma interjects, looking at Regina. " Right? I mean, don't you want to come home?" her assertive tone becomes a lot more timid, and worrying and – mierda, there's the pining again.

So Regina just sighs and says " Yes. We are going home "