CHAPTER 3:

ON THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF VAMPIRISM

Harry ached everywhere, though his neck and his scar, which was even now fading, were the major sources of it. "Okay, what the fuck was that?" he demanded as he sat back down in the chair, noticing distantly that his scrawny frame had now gotten rather ripped.

"You mean the bit where your scar started oozing black slime like something out of Quatermass II(1) and black smoke in the shape of Voldemort's face emerged, cussed us out, and then vanished? Yeah, well, I think I know what that was. During the time since I was turned, I ate a few wizards who were into the Dark Arts, including one who worked as a Cursebreaker for Gringotts. It's called a Horcrux. Think of it as a fragment of Voldemort's soul."

Harry blinked. He had a piece of Voldemort's fucking soul in his scar? His immediate thoughts were, understandably, Ew, ew, ewww… "Why was it there?"

"I dunno. Best guess? Voldemort probably made a lot of them already. You see, a Horcrux is made when you murder someone shortly after completing a certain ritual. The act of murder, combined with the ritual and the power of someone's life lost, splits the soul, and the user of the ritual can then place part of their soul into a physical object. I don't think Voldemort intended to make you into a Horcrux. I think he intended to use your death to do it. Unfortunately, for him anyway, whatever your mother did to protect you made the Killing Curse go BOING! SPANG! KABLOOEY!" Luna illustrated the effect of a rebounding Killing Curse with some rather childish charades-like actions. "Anyway, the upshot was, Voldemort's soul was shattered by the rebounding spell, and a bit of it latched onto you."

Harry thought back. He remembered the headaches he had around Quirrellmort, and the visions he had over the prior year. After a moment, he said, "That makes sense. And I am far from happy with having him squat in my head for ages without paying rent! Seriously, the fucker was ripping me off! I'll protest! I'll sue! Then I'll rip his lungs out! I will too!" He blinked. "Okay, why did I say that(2)?"

"Vampirism affects your aggression, and does tend to muck around a little with your sanity," Luna said with a shrug. "Sanity's overrated."

"So, I'll have anger issues? Yeah, I think I already had those."

"Don't worry, Harry," Luna said, smiling gently. "I enjoyed drinking your blood. I'd offer you mine, but, well, seer's blood is like drinking an alcoholic beverage spiked with a potent hallucinogen. So, basically like a Saturday night for Hunter S Thompson. Daddy and I met him once, actually. We got along well(3)." She then called out, "Nymphomaniac, you can come back in. I know you're back."

"I swear, one of these days, I'm going to go all Vlad the Impaler on your arse," Tonks grumbled, coming back into the room. She had divested herself of her hooded robes, revealing more punky clothing that went with her hair. She looked Harry up and down and whistled appreciatively. "Wow, you could probably grate cheese on your midriff now."

"Yes, but the smell would linger something fierce(4)," Luna remarked. "Anyway, vampires are basically like a human predator. Most of those weaknesses are made up, and the others are less effective than you think. Just avoid stakes through the heart, decapitation, or fire. Which is pretty much what any sane human would do, so, keep doing what you're doing. You can still age voluntarily until you decide you've had enough. You can still eat and drink normally, you just don't get any nutrition from it. Your poo will be a bit more colourful because of different…I won't say digestion, because it's more processing the food to eliminate it from the body rather than extracting nutrients."

Tonks grimaced, her hair turning green. "Yeah, not gonna lie, Luna, but that's too much information."

"Well, I can see why the Sorting Hat put you into Hufflepuff rather than Ravenclaw. To a true Ravenclaw, there's no such thing as too much information. Even if it drives one insane. Well, as long as that sort of thing doesn't come with tentacles coming out of the walls and Euclidean geometry going bye-bye…well, more than it already has in Hogwarts." Luna sighed. "Now, we feed on blood. We can feed from someone without killing or turning them easily enough, so if you have someone willing to be a blood bank, it can help. However, one thing that I reckon you will need in the near-future will be familiars. You see, vampires truly get stronger when they absorb souls when they drink blood. Now, I know what you're thinking, I'm combining two things you hate: slavery, and Dementors. Well, save for my daddy, all of the familiars I have are Death Eaters, and my daddy I don't treat like a slave. I made him a familiar to save his life. Anyway, having familiars is vital. If you have a familiar, you can sacrifice one to act as an extra life should you be attacked by a fatal attack. Which is why I've provided your first."

Harry glared. "If you think for one second that I'm going to eat someone's soul, then you've got…" He stopped when Luna took something from her dress, what looked like three stones, and placed them on the floor, before waving her wand. And there were the Dursleys, looking outraged and frightened both.

Harry didn't know whether it was the vampirism in his veins, or the repressed hatred he had towards them, but he realised that there were some people in the world he did want to eat. And the Dursleys neared the top of that list.

"You! BOY! WHAT IS THIS FREAKISHNESS?!" Vernon bellowed like the belligerent walrus that he was. He charged at Harry, intent on making him pay, only for Harry to grab Vernon, and hurl him into the wall, causing a shallow crater to form. Harry blinked as he realised what he had just done. Vernon was, after all, morbidly obese. And yet, Harry had thrown that weight at speed into a wall, hard enough to dent it, and it was easy as throwing a Quaffle.

Harry looked at his hands, firstly in fear. How strong was he? Was he a true freak at last?

He snarled quietly as he came to a realisation. They had hated him for his freakishness, tried to beat it out of him physically, emotionally, and psychologically. They hated him because he had something they didn't. Vernon was a xenophobic bastard, Petunia was a jealous shrivelled up tart, and Dudley was a spoiled little shit.

He had had enough. They tormented him for the last time.

He didn't really notice the shadows in the room lengthening, the darkness purling around him like the tendrils of some eldritch abomination, until he was stalking towards the dazed Vernon Dursley. He knew, on some instinctive level, that it was coming from him. And he didn't care. Something within him had snapped. Now, he was only caring about those he wanted to care about.

"No, stop it!" Petunia screamed. "Stop it at once!"

"Why?" Harry said too calmly as he reached Vernon. "You never did." With that, he grabbed Vernon by the shirt, and clamped down on his neck with his jaws.

The rush of blood was intoxicating. It was one thing to drink it from the bottle, so to speak, but to drink it live…he felt his instincts clamouring at him, and he decided that Vernon's bulk would make a good meatshield. He would become his first familiar.

Vernon gurgled his last, before his life and soul was taken into Harry, and his carcass dropped to the ground. Petunia's screams were deafening. The faint stench of Dudley soiling himself reached Harry's nose.

Harry blinked when the memories of Vernon Dursley reached his mind. Of previous encounters with Dumbledore, of the old man giving his aunt and uncle…'instructions'. To keep Harry psychologically downtrodden. Of money changing hands, money that Dumbledore said was from the Potter Family Vault. Money that was never spent on Harry. Of wards that Dumbledore said would protect the family from the wizards, and which would drain Harry's own, to keep his power under control, and to keep Harry's mind pliable. He saw it all in a flash, like a sped-up movie, more impressions than anything else, but all the more powerful for it.

He couldn't believe it. It was a trick. And yet, somehow, his vampiric instincts, awakened to tell falsehood in memories, knew it was true. And he knew how to get corroboration.

He whirled to snarl at Petunia, not caring about the blood dripping from his lips. "You…you…you bitch. You took my money, you stole my money, and you treated me like a servant, a punching bag!"

"As you deserved to be!" Petunia snarled, her anger overcoming her fear. "That money was what I deserved after your whore of a mother lorded magic and money over me! You should have died with them, you monster!"

"Monster…yes, I suppose I am. But even if I was, I wouldn't do this unless you treated me like one. Because do you know what monsters do?" Harry knelt down next to a cowering Petunia. "Bitch, I eat people." Gripping her hair in one hand, he wrenched her head back, and bit down hard on her neck.

It tasted too good to eat them to be normal, Harry thought as Tonks cast cleaning spells on him. Luna, meanwhile, was throwing the bodies of the Dursleys effortlessly into a trapdoor he hadn't noticed in the floor, and heard something chewing on them. "Who's a good Gl'bgolyb(5), eh?" she cooed affectionately.

But the guilt he felt was nothing compared to the anger and dismay he felt upon finishing. The memories were far from pleasant, but not just because of what sort of people the Dursleys were.

No, Harry had a foundation of his world knocked out from underneath him. All this time, he believed that Dumbledore was his mentor, his grandfather figure. While Obliviations would erase memories to a degree, even modify them, the blood kept a record anyway. He knew that in his bones…no, his very blood.

Oh, and there was the fact that Snape, of all people, had been his mother's childhood friend. Something NOBODY had told him. Something he was sure had a bearing on that damned bat's attitude to him.

Luna had given a magical vow that she hadn't modified the Dursleys' memories in any way. She seemed to know something he didn't…well, a lot of things, especially as she was a Ravenclaw. Tonks gave the same vow.

Slowly, mournfully, Luna began singing a song…

"Everything you know is wrong,

Black is white, up is down, and short is long,

And everything you used to think is so important

Doesn't really matter anymore

Because the simple fact remains that

Everything you know is wrong,

Just forget the words and sing along.

All you need to understand is

Everything you know is wrong.

Everything you know is wrong."

There was nothing mocking in the song. Harry didn't know that Luna was using a comedy song to try and, if not cheer him up, then at least comfort him.

"…Can I trust anyone?" Harry asked.

"…With your vampirism? Only your godfather…and one other. We brought her here at the same time we brought you. That being said, we can't go back to Hogwarts. That was one of the reasons why I had Daddy pull me out. They have anti-vampire wards. But I can see possible futures dimly, and Fudge was going to try and engineer your expulsion from Hogwarts anyway."

He didn't know whether Luna was pulling his leg or not. He didn't even know if she was leading him down a garden path to Hell. Then again, considering he had just eaten three of his relatives, he was probably on that path already.

But with that revelation came resolution. In its own way, his life was already spiralling into Hell. He had Voldemort gunning for him, Dumbledore as a puppeteer for whatever reason of his own, none of it good, and Snape being an odious prick. And if what Luna and Tonks said was true, most if not all of Magical Britain was turning on him anyway. And in any case, even if he was becoming a monster, he could be one who could look at himself in the mirror.

Because looking through the Dursleys' memories, as well as those of the Death Eaters, put things into perspective. The Dursleys were vile excuses for human beings, and so were the Death Eaters. Harry knew that if either Vernon or Petunia had magic at this point in their lives, they would join the Death Eaters. They had the same xenophobic tendencies, especially Vernon, the same elitist attitude, the same contempt for any human life bar their own.

He was unaware of Luna coming closer to him at first. "I saw your life, Harry, from your blood. Never forget, you were strong even before I turned you, for only the strong could have endured such a thing and come out functional. Never be afraid of seeking power. Only be careful about how you use it. If only to prevent someone from raping your chest with a wooden penis."

Harry couldn't help but laugh, albeit uneasily, at her definition of being staked. At least he assumed that's what she meant. Then again, who knew what was going on in her mind?

Still, maybe he had another friend after all.

"Tonks, can you go and fetch our other guest?" Luna asked.

Tonks, promptly, seemed to grow a hunched back and a warped face. "Yeth, Mathter," she lisped facetiously, before limping out.

"Metamorphagus abilities," Luna explained. "Handy when you're an Auror…or when you're a spy for the Pudding Club. You have to be born to it, though. Incidentally…" She handed him a shirt. "I think our guest may have a nosebleed if she saw you shirtless."

Harry didn't know what she meant, but donned the shirt anyway. Shortly afterwards, Tonks escorted in a rather nervous, bushy-haired girl who looked very familiar. "Hermione?" he asked. "What're you doing here?"

Hermione indicated Tonks. "She brought me here. My parents have been sent to Australia for their protection, but I wanted to stay and help you. Harry, they've shown me things…things that…well, I scarcely believe. But…I want to help you. And Tonks was very persuasive." She then saw Luna, and muttered, "And Tonks told me, but I didn't believe it. Luna Lovegood, Queen of the Vampires."

"In Magical Britain," Luna said. "Don't worry, you don't have to curtsey. We're going to be sharing, after all." She skipped over to Hermione, and looked at her solemnly. "I'm sorry I broke your faith in Dumbledore. People forget that the light can cast the darkest shadows. Magical Britain can't change for the better. Not until those responsible for its stagnation are gone. We are not going to kill willy-nilly. But we are going after those who would ruin our lives for their own gain, or else take those lives. Are you in?"

"For Harry. Only for Harry," Hermione said. "He was my first true friend. He fought a Troll for me, saved my life. And if he joined you willingly, then I want to be by his side forever." Then, after a moment, she shrugged. "Anyway, I've read up on vampires, their strengths and weaknesses. Much less weak than Muggle fiction."

"Blame the man who called himself Dracula," Luna said. "He told Bram Stoker a lot of the stuff for shits and giggles, encouraging the misconceptions already there, infecting him with Wrackspurts."

"That explains a lot. Anyway, besides helping Harry…well, I want to view this as a novel experience."

Luna grinned. "That's the spirit! Welcome to the family!"

In another timeline, as Jack Baker snuck up on someone trying to leave the house, he chuckled. As he grabbed the man's shoulder and spun him around, fist cocked back, he said, "Welcome to the…ACHOO!"

His would-be victim blinked as he was covered in mutagenic fungus-contaminated snot. "Uhhh..."

Jack took a filthy handkerchief out of his pocket, wiped his victim's face, then wiped his own nose. "Sorry 'bout that. Allergies, you see. Now, where were we? Ah, yes. Heheheh…welcome to the family, son!" He then punched the man out cold. But it just wasn't the same with the element of surprise lost.

Luna continued to smile, unaware of her cross-dimensional effects of saying things carelessly. "Harry, you do the honours."

Harry got to his feet, and approached Hermione. Despite his new abilities, he actually felt nervous about this. His question died on his lips when she met his gaze. While there was fear in them, she still nodded. "If it's you, that's fine. I trust you, Harry."

"Really? You're willing to become a vampire…be possibly hunted by other people? Drink blood? Kill?"

"I'd have been hunted anyway just for being a Muggleborn. This way, the odds are a bit better," Hermione said. "As long as I'm still me…I can live with that. And if it's with you…"

Harry chuckled sadly. "Hermione…thank you."

And with that, as Tonks left the room, and Luna watched on, Harry began to lick her neck gently. Hermione moaned softly, which was understandable, given the intimacy of the action. Then, Harry knew the time had come. He felt his teeth change. Trying hard not to bite down like some vicious animal, he bit down gently and tenderly…and was rewarded with another moan from Hermione, and the gush of sweet sanguine ambrosia into his throat…

CHAPTER 3 ANNOTATIONS:

So, Harry's beginning to come to terms with being a vampire. Oh, and he's eaten the Dursleys and turned Hermione. This was part of the challenge, and if you're thinking he did this rather abruptly, the vampirism is affecting him somewhat, bringing his more darker emotions to the forefront. He will angst a bit about his lack of guilt, but he's not going to be drowning in it.

Incidentally, Luna sings the chorus to Everything You Know Is Wrong by Weird Al Yankovic. Obviously, I don't own it. It's a funny song, but I thought Luna could sing it in a sort of lugubrious way, to reassure Harry in her own twisted way. And I'm sure many of you will recognise where the sneeze cut sequence comes from. If not, well, it's a spoof of Resident Evil 7.

1. Yes, my username comes from somewhere. The Quatermass serials were science fiction TV serials from the 1950s, the main character being Professor Bernard Quatermass. The black slime from the Horcrux probably resembled a similar substance that, while corrosive to humans, was part of the food for the Ammonids in Quatermass II.

2. Well, he said it because DZ2 has both the original quote (from Batman: The Animated Series, specifically The Joker's Wild), and they also have a challenge where the quote should be used. And while I'm not doing that particular challenge, I thought I'd try and crowbar a modified version of the quote to show Harry's decreasing anger-control.

3. I reckon that Xenophilus Lovegood has to have met Hunter S Thompson, the famous proponent of Gonzo Journalism and writer of, amongst other things, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

4. These lines are based on a similar exchange between Yugi and Marik Ishtar (under the crappy pseudonym of Malik Blishtar) in Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series, namely Episode 39: Card Games at 20,000 Feet.

5. This is the unpronounceable name of Feferi's Lusus (aka monstrous guardian) from Homestuck. Think a ghost-white betentacled monstrosity that, if it ever spoke, would cause the extinction of all life. So, the perfect pet for a vampire Luna Lovegood. Only this one isn't albino, or aquatic.