Authors Notes: It's here again. I don't own one bit of this.

Chapter 4: Why do I even Try?

Dorne

Oberyn Martel: Ellaria, I'm so excited to see you in bed. Just thinking about it...let me just send you the proof

/Oberyn Martell has sent a photo/

Elia Sand: Ummmmm dad. You sent this to the wrong person...

Oberyn Martell: ...

"Oberyn Martell has disconnected"

Elia Sand: At least delete the photo!

In Petyr Baelish's Call girl centre

Petyr: Ummm Joffrey my prince...Where can I find Ros?

Prince Joffrey Baratheon: ...Why do you ask?

Petyr: I cannot seem to find her anywhere. Do you know of her fate my prince.

"The Hound has been invited to the chat group"

"Prince Joffrey Baratheon has changed The Hound's name to 'Dog'"

Petyr: Why did you invite him milord?

Dog: Fuck off! You whiny cunt!

Prince Joffrey Baratheon: Good boy. Now Mr Baelish. Listen to The Hound or I tell him to do something else.

"Petyr has left the chat group"

"Dog has left the chat group"

Prince Joffrey Baratheon: Yes leave like the peasants you are!

Kingslanding Hospital

The Hound: The Prince has told me to tell you that if you speak the truth of what he did, then I can split yer fucking head open.

Ros: Why do you listen to that spoiled brat anyways. Also the law dictates that you can't kill me.

The Hound: Listen here you fucking bitch. The prince can see this. He is also the fucking prince and can change the Laws. Because if you remember, the last fucking time someone fucking tried to control the bloody king. They got blown up sky high with The Fucking Sept of Baelor.

Ros: OK! Ok I'll listen. Do you like threatening people.

The Hound: No I like killing people. The fuck do you think I am a soldier for.

"Roa has disconnected"

The Hound: Fucking bitch don't even know I'm joking.

Casterly Rock

"The Lannister group chat has been created"

Cersei: Why was this created?

Tywin: This was created so we can discuss things as a family.

Tyrion: Then why isn't Tommen or Myrcella here.

Jaime: Yes and Joffrey.

Tyrion: Joffrey can go away for all I care.

Cersei: How dare you!

Tyrion: He assaulted Ros-who is a member of society.

Cersei: Ros is a call girl not someone of importance Imp. Or is it that she is the first one to have sex with you.

Jaime: Stop it!

Tyrion: You are lucky that I'm in the Vale right now.

Lancel: Can we calm down?

Tyrion: Keep quiet!

Jaime: Shut up!

Cersei: SHUT UP!

Kevan: All of you SHUT UP!

Tywin: Thank you brother, now onto business. We will talk about many things, however the children are not allowed as they are Baratheons.

Cersei: Wait till you know the truth.

Kevan: What truth?

Jaime: SHE MEAns nothing of course.

Tyrion: Suspicious

Lancel: Yes indeed

Tyrion: Shut up.

Lancel: OK

Tywin: Moving on! The first topic we shall talk about is...

Cersei: Tell us already!

Tywin: Tomatoes being fruits my dear.

"Cersei has left 'The Lannister group chat"

AN: This chap is fine. Sorry it's not very funny. It's currently setting, not story but jokes?